Masculinity is when you are afraid for how other people perceive you.
Get over yourself
Submitted 6 hours ago by Stamets@lemmy.dbzer0.com to memes@sopuli.xyz
https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/pictrs/image/3d00f4f3-4671-4e14-a59a-b5187c6c9e17.webp
Comments
webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 2 hours ago
dylanmorgan@slrpnk.net 46 minutes ago
Toxic masculinity is that, among many other things.
raspberriesareyummy@lemmy.world 43 minutes ago
That’s the opposite of it.
OmegaMouse@pawb.social 6 hours ago
Nothing makes me want to suck dick more than seeing someone put a bottle into the correct recycling bin :3
fascicle@leminal.space 1 hour ago
You’d love Japan
kautau@lemmy.world 42 minutes ago
Unfortunately when they do that there it’s censored with pixelation though
NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 6 hours ago
TIL giving a shit makes you gay.
papasan_mamasan@lemmy.world 5 hours ago
It also makes you more appealing to women but the men don’t know that because Joe Rogan won’t invite a woman on his podcast to talk about it
ieatpwns@lemmy.world 3 hours ago
Appealing to women is gay. They’re soft and flowery not hard and tight like a big strongman
frunch@lemmy.world 1 hour ago
At very least, giving a shit makes you “woke” and the intent is the same as when they use gay as a slur (at least as far as i can follow their logic)
raspberriesareyummy@lemmy.world 44 minutes ago
Men are not afraid of being perceived as gay. Only insecure weirdos that need therapy are afraid of that.
Hylactor@sopuli.xyz 5 hours ago
This for me is the weird cishet paradox. So afraid to look “weak”, that they obsess over not looking weak. But you know what looks super weak? Being insecure about being weak. Like, the more you have to prove you’re a big tough guy, the less big and tough you seem.
Also, I feel like they’ve never considered that gay doesn’t necessarily mean effeminate. Or even that effeminate doesn’t necessarily mean weak/meek.
OrteilGenou@lemmy.world 5 hours ago
Yeah, in the 1950s you were a big tough guy if you wore all leather and had tattoos.
Now you might be a tough biker dude, sure, or you might be a power bottom with a kink.
nocturne@slrpnk.net 4 hours ago
Daddy Metal, Rob Halford, in spiked leathers riding a motorcycle on stage
Porque no Los dos?
FishFace@piefed.social 3 hours ago
I think you’re imagining this as a more conscious process than it actually is. The reason you need to go out and research this is because these men aren’t going around saying, “yeah, I was going to put my pepsi can in the metal recycling but I was worried my bro would call me gay so I just put it in the general waste.” Instead, sometimes men put pepsi cans in general waste, and sometimes men do things due to social perceptions, and sometimes those social perceptions are that certain things are “unmanly” and working out which things are related to each other is quite hard.
So there’s no paradox here. All people are subject to social pressures, and the vast majority of people make some effort to conform to those pressures in order to fit in and to receive approval from the people they value. Conforming to fit in isn’t “weak” or “insecure”, it’s the nature of being a social animal, and is done instinctively - if you think it’s done “obsessively” then you’re imposing the analytical mindset of someone studying the evidence on the subjects of the research, which is a fundamental error. It’d be like saying someone who subconsciously mirrors the mannerisms of someone they respect is “obsessed” with getting their approval, when they likely don’t realise they’re doing it.
Also, I feel like they’ve never considered that gay doesn’t necessarily mean effeminate. Or even that effeminate doesn’t necessarily mean weak/meek.
They almost certainly haven’t because, again, if you’re “considering” it, it’s not the right concept. The concept that people are trying to avoid is the one that’s labeled “gay” by their peers, which is really more of a gender thing than a sexuality thing; “what are you, gay?” isn’t a question about someone’s sexuality, it’s a suggestion that someone is not conforming to the gender role expected of them. You can’t successfully challenge that by saying “ackshually gay people can be v strong and they forget to put the pepsi can in the correct bin far more often than you might imagine.” They’ll just reply with, “OK bro sounds pretty gay,” because you didn’t challenge them on what they meant, only on what you thought they meant.
The challenge has to be more along the lines of creating a better awareness of societal expectations, tolerance of people who don’t conform to them, and building up positive associations between behaviours we want to promote and conforming things people already value, to help them see things in a new light.
prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 hours ago
I just can’t even imagine having such a fragile ego and being so unconfident in my own sexuality, that I would be worried about people thinking I’m gay for using reusable bags.
Jesus Christ. These are the people who are making everything on this planet worse for the rest of us.
FishFace@piefed.social 3 hours ago
Inasmuch as these people have a “fragile ego”, you probably also have a fragile ego. Virtually everyone subconsciously adapts their behaviour to gain the approval of other people whom they value.
The difference between you and them is not that you have a strong ego and are confident in your masculinity, it’s that you don’t value the views of people who judge people on that basis. And that is certainly no bad thing, but it’s a fundamental difference, and making this error makes it very hard to understand people who are different from you.
prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 hours ago
I don’t have a “strong ego,” I strive to have no ego. Not easy, obviously, but I feel as if I do an alright job.
Stamets@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 hours ago
Oh 100%. I’m doing my part by using this giant Ikea bag I have. Big pride bag. Able to carry an ENORMOUS amount of stuff while being a giant rainbow across the whole thing. Me and my former best friend went to Ikea and bought one when she got a Blahaj and I got a Blavingaad. I lovingly refer to it as my Baggot.
Sarmyth@lemmy.world 3 hours ago
The only reason for a man to be so concerned about another man’s sexuality, is they want to be a part of it.
dylanmorgan@slrpnk.net 45 minutes ago
Yep, which is why homophobes talk about (man on man) anal sex waaaaay more than gay men.
TachyonTele@piefed.social 3 hours ago
Exactly
NONE_dc@lemmy.world 5 hours ago
Straight men then: No matter what I do, I still hate the idea of sucking another man’s dick!
Straight men now: If I clean my ass too much I may want to suck another man’s dick.
mr_satan@lemmy.zip 2 hours ago
I’ll wear a pink tutu to the store if I so decide. I’m a man, I don’t care how I’m perceived.
RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 1 hour ago
A style used to hide blemishes and hair loss from things like Syphilis.
QuentinCallaghan@sopuli.xyz 3 hours ago
noughtnaut@lemmy.world 2 hours ago
That’s funny, but it’s also misrepresenting. Cross-dressing want really something that men would get away with u-assaulted … unless you’re Freddie Mercu. For how “manly men” were portrayed, look up Don Johnson with skinny ties and shoulder pads.
danekrae@lemmy.world 5 hours ago
Actively trying to avoid looking gay, is fucking gay.
damnedfurry@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
How do you figure?
OldChicoAle@lemmy.world 1 hour ago
It screams insecurity.
TachyonTele@piefed.social 3 hours ago
Because it’s stupid.
Being gay is not stupid. Trying your best to not look gay just makes you look closeted. And stupid.
RedSnt@feddit.dk 4 hours ago
I use multiple reusable bags every time I go shopping and I’ve only kissed one man. How do I become even
gayergreener?damnedfurry@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
This is the original article the bitly link points to:
psmag.com/…/how-gender-stereotypes-affect-pro-env…
I see nowhere in there talking about anyone actually ‘avoiding green behavior to avoid being considered gay’, in real life.
The studies mentioned are surveys of hypothetical people, and its conclusion is something that’s already known and obvious: the more things you do that are associated with the stereotype of the sex you aren’t, the more likely it is that the average person will assume you are gay.
The only distinction is that they were looking only at how ‘acts of environmentalism’ are stereotypically aligned with femininity, but the above is true of literally everything that’s stereotypically aligned with either femininity or masculinity.
This post is disingenuous tripe.
shalafi@lemmy.world 1 hour ago
THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE.
samus12345@sh.itjust.works 2 hours ago
chatokun@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 hours ago
I drive an EV, use my e bike to shop, Carey my own bags both bike and war, and have a portable collapsible basket for shopping if I use my car. No one has ever asked if or suggested that I’m gay.
In fact, I see more people assuming I have kids (I have none).
BananaOnionJuice@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 hours ago
I think “It’s okay to be a little metrosexual in the 20s”
Meron35@lemmy.world 5 hours ago
Petro-masculinity: Fossil Fuels and Authoritarian Desire - Cara Daggett, 2018 - journals.sagepub.com/doi/…/0305829818775817
etherphon@piefed.world 1 hour ago
Men we've been scammed, go to the store and look at the completely bland men's clothing options and then go to the women's section and look at all the fun they have with all the different colors and styles, it's really a tragedy.
telllos@lemmy.world 1 hour ago
Dont get me started on drinks! :)
etherphon@piefed.world 1 hour ago
Oh yeah, what the hell, who doesn't like delicious fruit drinks that get you super wasted? (Besides sober people of course)