TIL giving a shit makes you gay.
Get over yourself
Submitted 2 weeks ago by Stamets@lemmy.dbzer0.com to memes@sopuli.xyz
https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/pictrs/image/3d00f4f3-4671-4e14-a59a-b5187c6c9e17.webp
Comments
NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 2 weeks ago
papasan_mamasan@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
It also makes you more appealing to women but the men don’t know that because Joe Rogan won’t invite a woman on his podcast to talk about it
ieatpwns@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Appealing to women is gay. They’re soft and flowery not hard and tight like a big strongman
socsa@piefed.social 2 weeks ago
Fellas, is it gay to ingest external stimuli to guide your personal decision making framework?
I_am_10_squirrels@beehaw.org 2 weeks ago
Hey baby, wanna come over to my place and I’ll ingest your external stimuli?
frunch@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
At very least, giving a shit makes you “woke” and the intent is the same as when they use gay as a slur (at least as far as i can follow their logic)
Hylactor@sopuli.xyz 2 weeks ago
This for me is the weird cishet paradox. So afraid to look “weak”, that they obsess over not looking weak. But you know what looks super weak? Being insecure about being weak. Like, the more you have to prove you’re a big tough guy, the less big and tough you seem.
Also, I feel like they’ve never considered that gay doesn’t necessarily mean effeminate. Or even that effeminate doesn’t necessarily mean weak/meek.
OrteilGenou@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Yeah, in the 1950s you were a big tough guy if you wore all leather and had tattoos.
Now you might be a tough biker dude, sure, or you might be a power bottom with a kink.
nocturne@slrpnk.net 2 weeks ago
Daddy Metal, Rob Halford, in spiked leathers riding a motorcycle on stage
Porque no Los dos?
FishFace@piefed.social 2 weeks ago
I think you’re imagining this as a more conscious process than it actually is. The reason you need to go out and research this is because these men aren’t going around saying, “yeah, I was going to put my pepsi can in the metal recycling but I was worried my bro would call me gay so I just put it in the general waste.” Instead, sometimes men put pepsi cans in general waste, and sometimes men do things due to social perceptions, and sometimes those social perceptions are that certain things are “unmanly” and working out which things are related to each other is quite hard.
So there’s no paradox here. All people are subject to social pressures, and the vast majority of people make some effort to conform to those pressures in order to fit in and to receive approval from the people they value. Conforming to fit in isn’t “weak” or “insecure”, it’s the nature of being a social animal, and is done instinctively - if you think it’s done “obsessively” then you’re imposing the analytical mindset of someone studying the evidence on the subjects of the research, which is a fundamental error. It’d be like saying someone who subconsciously mirrors the mannerisms of someone they respect is “obsessed” with getting their approval, when they likely don’t realise they’re doing it.
Also, I feel like they’ve never considered that gay doesn’t necessarily mean effeminate. Or even that effeminate doesn’t necessarily mean weak/meek.
They almost certainly haven’t because, again, if you’re “considering” it, it’s not the right concept. The concept that people are trying to avoid is the one that’s labeled “gay” by their peers, which is really more of a gender thing than a sexuality thing; “what are you, gay?” isn’t a question about someone’s sexuality, it’s a suggestion that someone is not conforming to the gender role expected of them. You can’t successfully challenge that by saying “ackshually gay people can be v strong and they forget to put the pepsi can in the correct bin far more often than you might imagine.” They’ll just reply with, “OK bro sounds pretty gay,” because you didn’t challenge them on what they meant, only on what you thought they meant.
The challenge has to be more along the lines of creating a better awareness of societal expectations, tolerance of people who don’t conform to them, and building up positive associations between behaviours we want to promote and conforming things people already value, to help them see things in a new light.
socsa@piefed.social 2 weeks ago
I am convinced that there is legitimately a genetic cognitive deficit which makes people think this way, because it is just so obvious and transparent to me that it can’t be an accident.
PetteriSkaffari@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Takes balls to be unmanly.
zarkanian@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
socsa@piefed.social 2 weeks ago
Being afraid of looking gay is pretty fucking gay.
REDACTED@infosec.pub 2 weeks ago
Whenever I hear a homophobe in real life start talking about gays, I usually just say “Since I’m not gay, I don’t mentally think about what other men do in bed or with their dicks, but you do you”. Sounds better in my language, I’m sure you can make it sound more punchy
Alaknar@sopuli.xyz 2 weeks ago
I’m 99% certain that homophobia stems from dudes being gay/bi but brought up in a “conservative” environment, so there’s a clash between what they secretly want and what they perceive as wrong.
Teppichbrand@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
Being attacked to women because they are soft and feminine is pretty fucking gay, too
prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 weeks ago
I just can’t even imagine having such a fragile ego and being so unconfident in my own sexuality, that I would be worried about people thinking I’m gay for using reusable bags.
Jesus Christ. These are the people who are making everything on this planet worse for the rest of us.
FishFace@piefed.social 2 weeks ago
Inasmuch as these people have a “fragile ego”, you probably also have a fragile ego. Virtually everyone subconsciously adapts their behaviour to gain the approval of other people whom they value.
The difference between you and them is not that you have a strong ego and are confident in your masculinity, it’s that you don’t value the views of people who judge people on that basis. And that is certainly no bad thing, but it’s a fundamental difference, and making this error makes it very hard to understand people who are different from you.
prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 weeks ago
I don’t have a “strong ego,” I strive to have no ego. Not easy, obviously, but I feel as if I do an alright job.
socsa@piefed.social 2 weeks ago
I don’t because I hate everyone and actively avoid human interaction to the point of sabotage. Misanthrope is the only way to be straight. Or I guess pan in my case.
Stamets@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
Oh 100%. I’m doing my part by using this giant Ikea bag I have. Big pride bag. Able to carry an ENORMOUS amount of stuff while being a giant rainbow across the whole thing. Me and my former best friend went to Ikea and bought one when she got a Blahaj and I got a Blavingaad. I lovingly refer to it as my Baggot.
etherphon@piefed.world 2 weeks ago
Men we've been scammed, go to the store and look at the completely bland men's clothing options and then go to the women's section and look at all the fun they have with all the different colors and styles, it's really a tragedy.
telllos@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Dont get me started on drinks! :)
MintyFresh@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Bleh. All those colorful drinks are so loaded with sugars. They look like fun, but get ready for a gnarly hangover. Stick with gin and sodas!
boonhet@sopuli.xyz 2 weeks ago
I’ll take the girly drinks and keep wearing my black shirts, thanks
etherphon@piefed.world 2 weeks ago
Oh yeah, what the hell, who doesn't like delicious fruit drinks that get you super wasted? (Besides sober people of course)
volvoxvsmarla@sopuli.xyz 2 weeks ago
For real man. And it starts so fucking early. My girl can wear a freaking glitter soaked puffy skirt with a flower shirt and something crocheted with beads over it, accompanied with rainbow nail polish to kindergarten, and the boys are wearing… Blue jeans brown shirt. Maaaybe a shark print somewhere. Man, it is so hard to get pretty clothes for little boys. I’ve met some moms who were so fed up they literally learned how to sew and started sewing because everything was so bland for their boys. Buying girl clothes is not really an option either, not only because of the bullying from other kids but also because those clothes are so tight it is crazy. If it were just the patterns… It’s also the tight leggings, tight jeggings, shirts tailored to the waist. So they sew. For now.
And most retailers really offer such incredibly boring clothes I get depression from just trying to find a tshirt for my husband. You have like 5 colors to choose from and 3 cuts per body half.
Where I live, university age kids now often dress in expensive vintage. Thank god. I’ve now seen color and fun on guys. Finally. And there is this teenager in the neighborhood who dresses up in black emo core and tights and skirts and paints his face with fake blood and all. I so often want to go to him and just tell him thank you for sticking to your style amidst the conservative neighborhood.
etherphon@piefed.world 2 weeks ago
Yeah kids clothes are somehow even worse, although I had to wear a catholic school uniform so plain was absolutely mandatory lol. But yeah, there's really a pretty desolate area, sometimes it feels like they aren't even designing men's clothes anymore, I mean I know there's a lot going on in the world of fashion all the time but that doesn't seem to trickle down at all anymore, or maybe I'm just wildly out of touch which wouldn't surprise me. There haven't been any wild new innovations or trends besides dressing down in general. Note I'm not a huge fan of suits either so I'm not complaining about those going, but nothing replaced them really.
Right, if I want anything with a lot of color I pretty much have to order from Asian brands, I used to like Uniqlo for that but they've since succumbed to the drab and their options are not so great either anymore.
I always admired the people who stuck with the same style or subculture they identified with since they were teenagers, especially the more physically dramatic ones like goth or punk, they found something they loved and made a choice. I miss my giant phat raver diy stovepipe pants sometimes and now I see they are coming back in style haha, but again mostly for women and only men/boys under 20. There is nothing stopping anyone of course.
webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 2 weeks ago
Masculinity is when you are afraid for how other people perceive you.
dylanmorgan@slrpnk.net 2 weeks ago
Toxic masculinity is that, among many other things.
boonhet@sopuli.xyz 2 weeks ago
I think toxic masculinity actually has little to do with actual masculinity. Not disagreeing with you here, more like elaborating.
raspberriesareyummy@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
That’s the opposite of it.
dellish@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Is this what alpha feels like? Are we all feeling alpha yet?
Blackmist@feddit.uk 2 weeks ago
I use a reusable bag because I’m not paying an extra 40p every time I go fucking shopping.
horn_e4_beaver@discuss.tchncs.de 2 weeks ago
How homosexual of you.
Magnum@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
That’s the gayest thing I heard in a while. I see you talking but all I can hear are massive throating noises.
burntbacon@discuss.tchncs.de 2 weeks ago
I’m so jealous of blackmist.
NONE_dc@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Straight men then: No matter what I do, I still hate the idea of sucking another man’s dick!
Straight men now: If I clean my ass too much I may want to suck another man’s dick.
Kolanaki@pawb.social 2 weeks ago
Many straight men don’t want to be perceived as gay, while I, a queer man, simply don’t want to be perceived.
I’d have so much fun if I could go invisible at will…
FooBarrington@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Who said that? Show yourself!
Must have been the wind…
burntbacon@discuss.tchncs.de 2 weeks ago
Lol, meanwhile the bisexuals don’t want to be perceived as gay because it’s cutting their dating potential in half. Is that fear, because it’s so self serving, worse or better than the homophobic reason of the straights?
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
How could you possibly be attracted to both genders? That’s as crazy as wanting to change your gender or not being sexually attracted to anyone at all. You’re clearly just plotting to cheat on me with someone of the opposite sex because you like cheating so much. Nobody would ever be both monogamous AND find people attractive across the gender spectrum.
alekwithak@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Your username screams “perceive me!”
Kolanaki@pawb.social 2 weeks ago
It’s to distract you from seeing me over my username. 😌
MoonMelon@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
The Great Male Renunciation is the historical phenomenon at the end of the 18th century in which wealthy men of the Western world stopped using bright colours, elaborate shapes and variety in their dress, which were left to women’s clothing.
ICastFist@programming.dev 2 weeks ago
One of my coworkers loved to make “i bet so-and-so is gay, look at how he does stuff” joke remarks. I once had the chance to joke back: “Dunno man, you spend a LOT of time thinking about how he’s gay, you’re always paying attention to him, you’re always talking about him, that’s pretty gay of you” - That made him stop with those while I’m around, at least.
Sarmyth@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
The only reason for a man to be so concerned about another man’s sexuality, is they want to be a part of it.
dylanmorgan@slrpnk.net 2 weeks ago
Yep, which is why homophobes talk about (man on man) anal sex waaaaay more than gay men.
bitjunkie@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
waaaaay more than out gay men.
ftfy
TachyonTele@piefed.social 2 weeks ago
Exactly
danekrae@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Actively trying to avoid looking gay, is fucking gay.
damnedfurry@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
How do you figure?
TachyonTele@piefed.social 2 weeks ago
Because it’s stupid.
Being gay is not stupid. Trying your best to not look gay just makes you look closeted. And stupid.
Tiger666@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
Some men don’t wash their asses because they think it’s gay.
They don’t wash their asses and think that is not a problem.
Homophobia is literally disgusting.
raspberriesareyummy@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Men are not afraid of being perceived as gay. Only insecure weirdos that need therapy are afraid of that.
Lemminary@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I’ve met a handful of straight men who were not afraid to be perceived as gay and humorously played along. They were usually the coolest guys in the room. Hell, the confidence alone made them more attractive, but I don’t go there.
mika_mika@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I’m a queer enby and I do the little circle below the waist gesture, with my hand, to get my friend’s (my infinitely heteronormative friend) attention and then tell him because he looked he’s gay now. This is something the cis-boys in highschool used to joke around about because being gay was THE WORST thing you could be perceived as. I think it’s harmless with my friend though he does get flustered that he’s not gay and it’s kinda cute.
raspberriesareyummy@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
There’s nuances to everything. My oldest “heteronormative” friend and I sometimes call each other honey and blow a kiss into the air, without being serious about it nor meaning it to mock people.
bitjunkie@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Pussies.
Phegan@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
We need to go back to when men were men.
some_kind_of_guy@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
amen 🙏
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
1 upvote = 1 prayer
PetteriSkaffari@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Not men.
damnedfurry@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
This is the original article the bitly link points to:
psmag.com/…/how-gender-stereotypes-affect-pro-env…
I see nowhere in there talking about anyone actually ‘avoiding green behavior to avoid being considered gay’, in real life.
The studies mentioned are surveys of hypothetical people, and its conclusion is something that’s already known and obvious: the more things you do that are associated with the stereotype of the sex you aren’t, the more likely it is that the average person will assume you are gay.
The only distinction is that they were looking only at how ‘acts of environmentalism’ are stereotypically aligned with femininity, but the above is true of literally everything that’s stereotypically aligned with either femininity or masculinity.
This post is disingenuous tripe.
shalafi@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE.
chatokun@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
I drive an EV, use my e bike to shop, Carey my own bags both bike and war, and have a portable collapsible basket for shopping if I use my car. No one has ever asked if or suggested that I’m gay.
In fact, I see more people assuming I have kids (I have none).
samus12345@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Devjavu@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
So… gay people actually have a cultural advantage for once. That’s a rare one.
QuentinCallaghan@sopuli.xyz 2 weeks ago
jaschen306@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
I’m a straight man that went to a gay bar with a bunch of lesbian friends and got hit on by a very feminine gay man. He like the way I dressed and how well I was put together.
It was such a confidence boost and made me very happy.
mr_satan@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
I’ll wear a pink tutu to the store if I so decide. I’m a man, I don’t care how I’m perceived.
RedSnt@feddit.dk 2 weeks ago
I use multiple reusable bags every time I go shopping and I’ve only kissed one man. How do I become even
gayergreener?KelvarCherry@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 weeks ago
“You’re not homophobic. You’re homochondriac”
I recall reading that in a meme on Lemmy.
daggermoon@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Everyone thinks i’m gay anyway. Might as well bring my own reusable bag.
RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
A style used to hide blemishes and hair loss from things like Syphilis.
MedicPigBabySaver@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
So dumb. I love my big bag. There is a store where I can grab a scanning “gun” and walk along adding my items into my bag. Then it’s a really quick checkout at the self serve machine.
BananaOnionJuice@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
I think “It’s okay to be a little metrosexual in the 20s”
chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Straight white dude here and not afraid of being perceived as gay! Long hair to boot.
My wardrobe could best be described as “lazy Saturday afternoon.” I just want to wear comfortable clothes in muted colours. I don’t like drawing attention to myself.
OmegaMouse@pawb.social 2 weeks ago
Nothing makes me want to suck dick more than seeing someone put a bottle into the correct recycling bin :3
fascicle@leminal.space 2 weeks ago
You’d love Japan
kautau@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Unfortunately when they do that there it’s censored with pixelation though
FundMECFS@anarchist.nexus 2 weeks ago
all the useless plastic packaging makes me straight 🗿