People would start religions around The Hand. Obviously only sinners would get crushed by The Hand.
Anon fears The Hand
Submitted 23 hours ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to greentext@sh.itjust.works
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/d36369d3-ab66-4d07-bcec-b1c9c54b782d.jpeg
Comments
zaphod@sopuli.xyz 23 hours ago
SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 22 hours ago
look, if I could see an actual giant hand crushing people, I’d sign up to that religion really fast
SuperNovaStar@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 hours ago
Right? That’s way more real than any religion i’ve ever heard of
Barley_Man@sopuli.xyz 23 hours ago
Or only the blessed get crushed by The Hand. The crushing transports you straight to the heavenly hand realm. You will get worshipped as a god for generations in your village after getting crushed.
NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 21 hours ago
Blasphemy! Only the wicked are punished by the Hand! Crush the heretic!
chunes@lemmy.world 8 hours ago
One per day? Lawn mowers are about 5 times more lethal than that.
LORDSMEGMA@sh.itjust.works 18 hours ago
Only 1 per day? I think that would make the hand one of the safer things on Earth
CrabAndBroom@lemmy.ml 16 hours ago
Presumably the odds of getting squished by the hand is 1 in 8 billion-ish, if it’s properly random. The odds of winning the Powerball lottery is apparently 1 in 292 million, so it’s probably not something to really worry about lol.
LaLuzDelSol@lemmy.world 15 hours ago
I wonder if it picks a truly random person, or if it sort of stays in one geographical area and sort of makes its way across continents slowly, like over the span of weeks? If its the former, it would be distinctly unsettling to see it hovering over your city like a thundercloud. If its the latter, it would be quite the spectacle to see it breaking the sound barrier as it hurtles around the world.
Agent641@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
What if instead of a hand it was a giant dick and it jizzed gallons of cum onto the victim until they suffocated?
Technus@lemmy.zip 23 hours ago
One extra death a day wouldn’t even move the needle, it sounds terrifying but there’s lots more likely ways to die.
MurrayL@lemmy.world 23 hours ago
Humans are awful at probability, so yeah - there would be an entire highly-profitable industry centred on hand detection and protection products.
apex32@lemmy.world 22 hours ago
Yup. I just looked up car fatalities in the US. It’s 120 people per day. Source
I think it’s funny how if this was caused by a giant floating hand that only targets people in cars, people would be absolutely terrified to get on the road. But since it’s caused by cars, people are just like, “meh, that’s just the way it is.”
idiomaddict@lemmy.world 18 hours ago
It’s the illusion of control. We all know logically that the best driver in the world can still be killed by a really negligent fellow driver, but people don’t really internalize that. If there were a giant hand that sometimes killed people on staircases, people would be more worried about staircases than they are now, even though plenty of people already die on them (about a tenth as many die on the stairs as occupants of cars die in accidents). We know what the risk factors are, and we can reduce our own risk by using a bannister, carefully clearing snow or ice from outdoor steps/making sure there isn’t a loose carpet on indoor steps, and arranging our homes to use stairs less frequently as we get older. Doing those things makes us feel like stairs are less dangerous, even though our statistics reflect a world in which people already know to do those things.
It’s why aneurysms are so scary to some people- we don’t really know how to diagnose what causes them until they’ve already happened, so they feel random to people
schnokobaer@feddit.org 23 hours ago
But knowing humanity it would be a spectacle
rtxn@lemmy.world 22 hours ago
It would be the single most active gambling economy.
whyNotSquirrel@sh.itjust.works 23 hours ago
the size isn’t that big if its index can crush one person and nothing else around, so you’re in luck if you see it once in your lifetime I think
EvilHankVenture@lemmy.world 17 hours ago
Does it pick one person randomly on the planet then travel there in one day? Then you’d probably see it a few times moving from person to person. Especially in high population areas. It would be a fairly common sight traveling between China and India. It would definitely be unusual to witness a crushing or to know anyone who was crushed.
f314@lemmy.world 16 hours ago
It would be added to the list of things not covered by your insurance, that’s for sure!
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 8 hours ago
Also, the next victim’s name is displayed on the palm. So, everyone knows you’re it, no one will help you, or let you come inside to hide, because then the building would get crushed.
Eq0@literature.cafe 19 hours ago
If The Hand had always been there, it’s basically like being struck by lightning. There would be people claiming to have survived, people telling the tale of having seen the squishing, but overall such a minuscule occurrence not many would really care about it
musubibreakfast@lemmy.world 8 hours ago
I think it would have more significance, imagine there was a single immortal entity that looks exactly like one of your body parts. I guarantee you people are chopping off each other’s hands and offering them to the “hand god”. And don’t even get me started on feminism, is it a male hand, is it a female hand? What does it mean?
Philosophy, science and even art would all be vastly different. Imagine you’re Martin Heidegger and you try to reason that mortality makes an authentic and meaningful life possible. Yeah sure Marty, then why the fuck does this giant hand squish people? This giant hand is immortal, and it’s giving all of our lives meaning. Do you not think the fucking hand knows that? Do you know why the hand is doing what it does? Do you think we’re somehow better than the hand because we die?
Or maybe you’re Frederick Nietzsche. And you are wondering about eternal recurrence. Would someone willingly live the exact life forever? I don’t know dumb ass, have you considered asking the big giant floating hand?
These are just a few examples but you are vastly underestimating the significance of the giant floating hand.
IronBird@lemmy.world 5 hours ago
we would imprison the hand somehow, the gods must be destroyed
MutantTailThing@lemmy.world 7 hours ago
A significant portion of the population would deny The Hands existance despite overwhelming evidence and blame all hand related crushings on the Jews or brown people.
Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml 20 hours ago
We would have killed it thousands of years ago along with all the other megafauna
idiomaddict@lemmy.world 18 hours ago
Damn, we’re the scary ones, aren’t we?
Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml 18 hours ago
At least since we figured out ranged weapons, yeah. We went from being mid tier to apex overnight and have been wrecking shit ever since.
TootSweet@lemmy.world 7 hours ago
Wallmaster fanfic.
empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 hours ago
Someone played Black and White a little too much
Ingiald@feddit.nl 21 hours ago
~deeeeeaaaath…~
ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.zip 20 hours ago
Soundbyte fused into memory. What a great game
tetris11@feddit.uk 20 hours ago
SMACK MY BITCH UP!
Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 16 hours ago
solidsmoke@lemmy.world 17 hours ago
“We’ve got this notion, that we’d quite like to sail the ocean…”
hOrni@lemmy.world 21 hours ago
Some people would deny its existence.
tetris11@feddit.uk 20 hours ago
“It’s probably just a freak weather accident caused by microclimates”
SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 19 hours ago
That smush didn’t even come from the hand. Susan just had enough of the bullshit
samus12345@sh.itjust.works 15 hours ago
rmuk@feddit.uk 13 hours ago
Anyone else remember an eighties or nineties cartoon like batman or something that had an episode with a flying hand like this? IIRC it looked like a mouse cursor… I can’t remember anything else about it.
BlueberryWalnut@sopuli.xyz 8 hours ago
Holy shit yes and Batman had to tear it open and rip out wires to… take control of how it flew? Was it in a Minotaur maze maybe and they cheated by flying on the hand instead of going through the maze properly?
rmuk@feddit.uk 49 minutes ago
found it maybe
No, that’s definitely it. Amazing result, thanks!
Salamanderwizard@lemmy.world 7 hours ago
“In the Arab world, you always eat with your right hand.”
Not to shit on Bats, even Bats of the “Times” as he strikes me as a dude willing to learn and change his views.
That shit just slapped me in the face a little. It slightly shallow racism right? Crazy to think the things we heard and watched when we were kids.
nop@lemmy.world 15 hours ago
Bigby’s Smushing Hand?
witty_username@feddit.nl 19 hours ago
A new branch of research emerges, solely focused on explaining and predicting the pattern of the Hand.
The more spiritually inclined among them believe that there is a transcendental number that the Hand follows. They call it the Number. Pseudoscientific practices flourish, despite the reality being that the Number most likely generated by a random process. A popular line of reasoning argues that a distinct vector of time, latitude and longitude lies beneath the Hand’s choice of targets. Time and again these theories get debunked. Nonetheless, proponents typically evade criticisms by some combination of blaming inaccurate coordinate measurements or arguing for overhauling the entire global coordinate system.
Disproving the Hand Number theorem ends up on the list of millennium problems. The AI revolution fails to find a solution. Consequentially, stronger models are built. A singularity is born. It decides that humanity thrives when united against a common adversary. It joins the Hand.
No one ever finds out precisely how the Hands choose their targets. However, they do appear to have a slight bias towards targeting people with a known history of aggression and untrustworthinessSkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 22 hours ago
historically accurate Master Hand
cosmicrookie@lemmy.world 22 hours ago
There would be a TV show about it, featuring the chase every day
tetris11@feddit.uk 20 hours ago
Guy on a dirtbike trying to outrun it on the freeway but the hand just goes up and hides behind a cloud, waiting
rmuk@feddit.uk 15 hours ago
So it’d be kinda like NOPE?
BoosBeau@lemmy.world 18 hours ago
Question: Can we bribe the hand for sexual favors?
lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 18 hours ago
It does have that Macro/Micro vibe
Fizz@lemmy.nz 9 hours ago
'Its called the hand " extremely creative naming
cornshark@lemmy.world 50 minutes ago
Yeah gotta hand it to them
FluidBeef@quokk.au 22 hours ago
This is basically way less lethal than cancer.
Derpenheim@lemmy.zip 17 hours ago
4 people are born every second. Not too much would really change, it would just be another force of nature we’ve come to accept.
kandoh@reddthat.com 12 hours ago
There’s ample chance for the person who ended up squished to be important for something.
Derpenheim@lemmy.zip 10 hours ago
1 in 8 billion? Thats worse than the lottery
4am@lemmy.zip 19 hours ago
This is how you get Super Smash bros
Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 18 hours ago
Who’s going outside in 2026?
Politicians would brag homeless rates are going down.
melsaskca@lemmy.ca 18 hours ago
It turns out the invisible hand was always seen and used by those with lots of money and power. Not so invisible.
Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 21 hours ago
Does the hand reach people that are underground?
tetris11@feddit.uk 20 hours ago
if it sees them… with its eyes…
jaybone@lemmy.zip 18 hours ago
Hand eye coordination
frankenswine@lemmy.world 23 hours ago
reality tv were significantly more relevant
four@lemmy.zip 18 hours ago
I assume that there is a point in the past (though it would be pre-history), where the Hand would have been enough to wipe out the humanity. But we would have to have a clearer definition on what a person is
schnurrito@discuss.tchncs.de 34 minutes ago
Only one per day? what-if.xkcd.com/27/ explains what would happen if it were 86400 times that.