musubibreakfast

@musubibreakfast@lemmy.world

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨i wonder what goes through men's minds in this situation⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago⁩:

  I call bull shit. Last week I caught you furiously masturbating in the lemmy communal sauna. I would’ve believed you if you weren’t constantly yelling: “Oh God, I’m not mentally prepared. Oh God. Oh Please! I’m not ready!” You’re a bad liar.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨You know who you are 🫶🏻⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩:

  Don’t bother, I tried and the super soldiers just kept fucking each other.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Valid point⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Yes but that’s because you live in Norway, a horrible place where all the men look like walruses and the women smell of fish.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Never hurts to check though⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  If the comptroller was involved in your circumcision then by all means consult them.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Never hurts to check though⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  You’re fine, just make sure it doesn’t get stuck in the disc tray.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Never hurts to check though⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Maybe consult your rabbi, imam or other religious figure first

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon buys cigarettes⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Nah, keep smoking, maybe get cancer, you’ll finally have something to talk about at parties.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Resetting XBOX - Compulsion Games and Double Fine to go indie again, Ninja Theory and Undead Labs "to join new ownership"⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Did all of you mob up on the CFO and beat him silly with a chancla after that statement?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Hey, you’re a worthless pile of human garbage and that’s ok. I guarantee that there’s another pile of human trash out there that perfectly matches you in every way. One day you’ll find each other. I’m rooting for you.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon likes a woman⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Then I hope you enjoy the taste of your own dick

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨good idea, no downsides⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Yeah, you gotta keep stuffing lasagna and deli meats in your washing machine or else it’ll start to wobble.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨good idea, no downsides⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Some cheaper models have two little people from New Jersey in them.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon likes a woman⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Just don’t make the mistake of fucking your sandwiches.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨foil⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Wow, your English is pretty good for a Canadian. Did you go to international school or did you grow up in the rough part of Canada?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨That's fair⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  That’s nonsense. I can bench 225 for 8 reps, I am an average human man. To prove my point I will now fight everyone in the NFL. Thank you for your support.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨gooner bait⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  You don’t have to do anything. There’s someone out there who wants to goon to you. It might not be who you expect and you might not like why they want to goon to you but I promise you they’re out there.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Yup and they change the pick up location to the morgue.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Holy hell, Ernie.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  “You wil get fat and schlubby but you can make as many posts on lemmy as you want and you are guaranteed at least one upvote.”

  -your Faustian pact

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Holy hell, Ernie.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  That’s only because Ernie Hudson comes by every week and drains their life force.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I know which one I'm picking!⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  No, the top part of France will be cut off and attached to England. Whatever’s left will be equally divided between Spain, Italy, Germany and Belgium. As for all the French people, they will be placed in reeducation camps. This includes every flavor of French, so Quebecois, Guadeloupe and whatever else as well.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon tries to lose weight⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  No, but he loved coconuts

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I think your parents might’ve dropped you as a child.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨That original batch sounds tasty⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Maybe the acrobatic was a grapefruit and he had an accident in his pants

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨"influencers" are setting us back⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  No, we need to reform the education system and make studying affordable. So Joe Schmo, your weird uncle and all the Yoga Mommy’s can go to university and find out exactly how they measure up to the rest of the country. And maybe in the process they can make some good friends and learn something about themselves.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Bought it on the Steam Summer Sale⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  This type of person doesn’t iron their shirts. They use the iron to make grilled cheese sandwiches and melt action figures to sniff the fumes.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Shit solutions for shitty problems⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Nah make it fun, each different way of lining up your items gives you different stat boosts. Like if you fill your suitcase with just green herbs then you are able to regenerate health or if you mix shotgun shells with fish then you can get ammo from fishing.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨bone⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  That’s horrible. In the end, did she get chucked into her grave like a frisbee?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon pets a dog⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  The spaniel dry humped him and the pop tart was off brand. And the teacher didn’t scream but just laughed

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Life Hack⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Yes, it’s called ketchup

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨It's honestly fine, you're overthinking it!⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Just piss over your hands like the rest of us, that’s plenty clean.