Sir_Premiumhengst

@Sir_Premiumhengst@lemmy.world

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The year is 2036 and I’ve been brought in for questioning because my PlayStation Plus subscription lapsed well over 3 months ago.⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Jesus, I was there Gandalf, 3k years ago

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The holy trinity⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I thought the father was an alcohol

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨*laughs nervously*⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Assuming you’re subscribed

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I can feel my horny level rising to 30%⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Funny because that’s the actual start of the Witcher…

  Quote: She came to him towards morning. She entered very carefully, moving silently, floating through the chamber like a phantom; the only sound was that of her mantle brushing her naked skin. Yet this faint sound was enough to wake the witcher - or maybe it only tore him from the half-slumber in which he rocked monotonously, as though travelling though fathomless depths, suspended between the sea bed and its calm surface amidst gently undulating strands of seaweed. He did not move, did not stir. The girl flitted closer, threw off her mantle and slowly, hesitantly, rested her knee, on the edge of the large bed. He observed her through lowered lashes, still not betraying his wakefulness. The girl carefully climbed onto the bedclothes, and onto him, wrapping her thighs around him. Leaning forward on straining arms, she brushed his face with hair which smelt of chamomile. Determined, and as if impatient, she leant over and touched his eyelids, cheeks, lips with the tips of her breasts. He smiled, very slowly, delicately, grasping her by the shoulders, and she straightened, escaping his fingers. She was radiant, luminous in the misty brilliance of dawn. He moved, but with pressure from both hands, she forbade him to change position and, with a light but decisive movement of her hips, demanded a response. He responded. She no longer backed away from his hands; she threw her head back, shook her hair. Her skin was cool and surprisingly smooth. Her eyes, glimpsed when her face came close to his, were huge and dark as the eyes of a water nymph. Rocked, he sank into a sea of chamomile as it grew agitated and seethed.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I can feel my horny level rising to 30%⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Witcher reference?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Fuckin' furries⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Smooch the pooch

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨spaloga⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Praise be

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Lost another one⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Oh I ugly chortled. Thanks

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Womp⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Fucking lab bacteria. Oh not the right sugar, oh pH is slightly too sour, oh noes wrong phase of the moon. Fucking. A.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Cheese is available⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Is thst what the mean by Wisconsin sober?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Engine auto-off⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  This goes into my box of dad jokes!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨PC Games like Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Darn, my brain read Zelda and ignored the botw part. I see Zelda I think top down isometric spelunking.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I still can't get over Skyrim. Are there any games that can replace it?⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Daggerfall?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨PC Games like Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  TUNIC! Play Tunic!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨LA is proposing a subway system for Dodger Stadium. This will allow people to commute from the stadium parking area to the stadium⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  For the emperor! /s

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Pro tip⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Nudity is not pornography… But, say, you were rubbing one out while robbing a store…

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Can't wait.⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Phuck ophph

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Wowee⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Scientific funding in a nutshell. Fuck me.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨what’s your best “nitric acid acts upon trousers” moment?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Did you not notice it acting upon the glass? Wtf.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨baby blues⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Real LPT is always in the comments

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨weiner dog⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Penisbug?

  Dickbeetle?

  Cockroach? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Call Grandma, we're meetin' at the shitter!⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Y’all laugh but getting an insinkerator installed on my shitter was life changing. No more poop saw mess. No more running for the poop knife. Just push a button and everything goes brrr

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Wild Ones⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ unironically would eat a dog or cat.

  Grew up where, if we wanted meat, grandpa would go in the back yard and grab a duck or hen… Meat was scarce and came directly from the animal.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Farmer group chat⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Gonna be an expensive trip to the witch…

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Theories on Theories⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Image

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Oh effin Roflcopter. You honorable human have mande me laugh heartily. Thanks. Appreciations!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The future is bright...⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Serious message. Did laugh at Kill Chain though

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨stop dem roomers⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Voldemort with a nose.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon has a cat⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  This ja the real and straight shit I was looking for!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨It's a classic⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Legend. Big if true.