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Time to redraw America's borders in a way that finally makes sense.

⁨731⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨Gork@sopuli.xyz⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://sopuli.xyz/pictrs/image/820c4b4d-983c-4c32-b7d9-afe181636d3c.webp

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Comments

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  • mhague@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Flower petal distribution.

    Like a voronoi grid with limited colors, each color a state. Every state would have a bit of everything.

    Image

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  • gedaliyah@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Residents of Floxas notice no change.

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    • arrow74@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      I think it becomes the most populous state

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    • WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      I was about to say—we lost the panhandle, and nobody realistically knows what lives there anyway.

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  • Hjalamanger@feddit.nu ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    You should sort them in alphabetical order, my European brain won’t be able to remember them otherwise

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    • makyo@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      And put them all to a catchy jingle

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    • Lv_InSaNe_vL@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      You just gotta remember the mnemonic for them!

      Many Wild Owls In Winter Never Make Unusual Noises, Always Calm and Focused

      But that’s just taught to us in class as little kids so I forget it’s not second nature for the rest of the world!

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  • Lembot_0004@discuss.online ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    One line would be enough: to divide North from South.

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    • gedaliyah@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      I think we tried that once.

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      • Lembot_0004@discuss.online ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        At that time only the South wanted independence, now it might be that both parts would rather live on their own.

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    • expatriado@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      bible belt and sane people

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      • CorruptCheesecake@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Insular, gossipy, ugly, poorly dressed crazy religious dumbfucks and normal humans who actually have empathy and can accept their town gaining new residents without throwing a redneck tantrum about it every day while said new resident occupies free real estate in their moldy swamp brains.

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    • ohulancutash@feddit.uk ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      You need 4 lines. North East, South West, Wastelands.

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  • evening_push579@feddit.nu ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Split it along the time zones instead. Less states and simpler administration. Washington DC can be its own time zone just to mess with people.

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  • Akasazh@feddit.nl ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    I feel like idiota would be overcrowded

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  • FelixCress@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    I especially like IDiOTA

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    • OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      “America” is a shortened name for “United States of America,” in addition to the name of the continent. It can be both, you know.

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      • Manalith@midwest.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Just saying USA has less syllables and letters.

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      • can@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        But we don’t have to like it

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    • makyo@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Believe it or not, those two terms are use interchangably and somehow no one gets confused. A continent AND a country can both have the same name without the world ending.

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      • FelixCress@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Let me point you to this handy little guide:

        lemmy.dbzer0.com/post/36440098

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    • ParadoxSeahorse@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      I think “America” implies a hierarchy, dominance, and soothes their egos though

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      • FelixCress@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Yup. They misappropriated a continent’s name to feel more important. Otherwise they would feel smaller than Australia presumably.

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  • DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Image

    Fixed.

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    • pineapplelover@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      “Where you from?”

      “Middle”

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    • ianhclark510@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      as an Oregonian I 100% accpt the decision to merge us with Warshington

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  • fraksken@infosec.pub ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Floxas made me lol

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  • rustydrd@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Utucky

    No u.

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  • moakley@lemmy.world ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    As a resident of Floxus, I propose we make the creeping phlox our state flower.

    (It smells like rotting skunk.)

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    • samus12345@sh.itjust.works ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Image

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    • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      isn’t that the shit that Trump smells like?

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      • Pulptastic@midwest.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

        Flopsweat and diaper rash cream

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  • jaupsinluggies@feddit.uk ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Americans are so dumb when it comes to timezones we could just assign Maintana to GMT+5, Washconsin GMT+6 and so on downwards. It wouldn’t make any difference to them and it’d be a lot more fun for the rest of us.

    True story: “The meeting is at 1500 EDT”. “Your state is currently on EST so if I turn up at the specified time I’ll be an hour late. Are you sure it’s 1500 EDT and not 1500 EST?” “Yes, definitely 1500 EDT”. /me turns up at 1500 EDT to find the meeting has already finished.

    I misread IDOTA as IDIOTA.

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    • pyre@lemmy.world ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      no that’s floxas

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  • pruwybn@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    I like how the map shows the curvature of the north border (49th parallel), meaning all these lines bulge north in the middle.

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  • thatradomguy@lemmy.world ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    If Dr Suess was in charge of naming the states:

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  • the_crotch@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    There’s precedence in Connecticut history

    medium.com/…/long-long-connecticut-a6e014c52261

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  • umbrella@lemmy.ml ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    this unironically looks like how some colonies used ro be divvied up. fitting for a colonial empire.

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  • Sir_Premiumhengst@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Alascanada?

    Hawacuba?

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  • doingthestuff@lemy.lol ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Now I want to see this cross referenced to a population map and overlay major cities and show us the population of each new state and what cities would be in each.

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  • ashenone@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Maintana most beautiful state

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  • frezik@midwest.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Which sports team am I supposed to root for with this map? Do you expect me to make a careful analysis of team history and current lineup? Or do I pick the one in the state I was born in like a normal person?

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  • WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Bullshit. I just moved from Oklahoma to California to escape the hell hole that is that backwards ass state and I’m not reincorporating.

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    • CorruptCheesecake@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      You have ascended to heaven. If you ever feel stressed, just remember that the people you left behind are still playing in the mud and catching exotic third world diseases.

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    • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Is that why you hate the internet?

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      • remotelove@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        The Internet would be great if it wasn’t for all the other computers attached to it.

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  • Jackcooper@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Floxas gonna absolutely kill at college football

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    • Cort@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      But the target of basically all the hurricanes

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  • Etterra@discuss.online ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    It’s not actually all that differently stupid.

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  • disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    We all still hate Floxas and the mutant abomination AbbSantis.

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  • ininewcrow@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Sounds more like a new line up of pharmaceuticals for the treatment of those suffering from delusions of grandeur and acute narcissism

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  • Jankatarch@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    What’s the timezone in Missarota?

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  • CaptPretentious@lemmy.world ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Could they at least be an alphabetical order!

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