DeathByBigSad
@DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works
- Comment on Anyone feeling like doesn't belong anywhere? 4 weeks ago:
Hey, you wanna visit my old neighborhood?
I mean I’m not gonna give the exact address, but you can take a look at 广州大道北 梅花园 麦地西街
The latest Baidu street view I found was in like 2014… so yea idk how it looks now…
My mom and older brother is in China right now… they got their US Passports and the 10 year “visiting relatives” visa and they just left like on sunday (last sunday, that is)
Apparanly my mom is pressuring my older brother to get married… lol (he’s like 28 or 29)…
Mom and her friend network thing got bro and some girl added eacher other on Wechat and I think they’ve been chatting for a while… and now I guess they are about to meet or something… or perhaps if not a good match, then mom’s gonma pressure him to meet with other “marriage candidates”… lol
As for me… I didn’t feel like visiting… Mom asked if I wanna come and I just was like “nah fam”
Also why did she even ask lmfao, this trip is for my older brother to go pursue marriage plans… why the fuck would I tag along? lmfao, that is sooo fucking weird to do… even my older brother was like “wtf, dont let this annoying shit come” (paraphrased)
(I mean I didn’t even have a valid passport lol, I just submitted the application for it yesterday at a post office)
I have a bunch of stuff not backed up and am too internet addicted to chance VPNs not working and then youtube or other stuff blocked… I’d have withdrawl from that lol… too much stress for me…
(And also a bit of the politcs thing, just feel kinda resentful towards the government)
Mom and brother are staying with one of my aunts (aka: her sister) in Taishan…
I asked them to check the internet thing but brother completely ignores me (not really on speaking terms right now) and mom is digitally illiterate to check for what websites work or not… or maybe she just doesn’t care since she’s so obsessed with trying to get my older brother to get into a marriage… cuz mom says if you wait, you will “never find anyone and die alone”… lmfao
So… roaming… T-Mobile charges $0.25 for each minute of calling… but mom got the international pass for like $50 so its now unlimited… so I don’t have to install WeChat and make an account just to talk to her…
So I just randomly call all the time and be like “MOOOMMM” 😅 (I mean if you don’t use the unlimited minutes, its going to waste lol)
So yea, that’s my story, how’s everything going for you?
- Comment on Anyone feeling like doesn't belong anywhere? 4 weeks ago:
I was born Chinese and my family immigrated to the US when I was 8
I post about this topic a lot here, so forgive me for being so repetative for those who might’ve already read this before, this is sort of just my platform for cartharisis…
:::spoiler click if you actually wanna read this wall of text… I was born during the One Child Policy, I was the second child in my family, the government would catch women who are pregnant with their second child and force abortion on them.
Mom was supposed to have a IUD which would’ve prevented my conception, but she never got it and left her hometown to a city (Guanzhou btw) for work… and because of jurisdictional issues or something like that, she just never went back to her home village for like 5 entire years. Honestly I don’t know if she even remember all the details… I mean it must’ve been traumatic for her. Repressed memories and all that stuff. One time she told me she forged a certificate about the IUD thing. But the other part of this was they would check fertile women for pregnancy every 3 months… I think this was only done for those that already had one child, but not too sure, mom didn’t elaborate much… but she told me she convinced another women to pretend to be her and show up to take the pregnacy test…
So 5 years after my older brother was born, my parents conceived me…
Then my mom told me that at month 7 or 8, someone noticed but turned a blind eye to it so didn’t report it.
So yeah… that’s how I came into this world… allegedly, I mean I obviously cannot witness my own birth, so my parent’s account are the only people that are direct witness to the entire ordeal that I know of… I mean I do have an older brother and I do have memories of China and the One Child Policy is public knowledge… so that’s as much fact checking I could do… I’d just have to go by my mom’s account
After I was born, I wasn’t allowed to be registered into the Hukou until my parents paid the massive fine somewhetr between ¥20000 to ¥30000 rmb… (idk if they even remember the exact amount anymore… so long ago…) in around 2002 to 2010s, and it sounded like it was a lot from how my mom described it… they had to save every penny they had… I think they might’ve asked relatives or friends for money, possibly, but not sure… they didn’t really elaborate…
So because of this… I feel rejected by China…
The other thing is… I was born in Guangzhou, and even after the fines thing was settled… the other problem was that my parents were rural… so we were essentially second class residents in Guangzhou, we cannot get a Guangzhou Hukou… me and my older brother are not allowed in Guangzhou public schools, even though my parents worked in Guangzhou… so they had to pay for a separate shitty school that’s, according to mom, worse than public schools…
So I also can’t really call my self a 廣州人 (Guangzhou-er) even though I can speak both Cantonese and Mandarin (sort of… now English has kinda taken over my brain)…
So that’s the China story… :::
Then the USA…
Okay I don’t need to explain this one much…
American-Born Chinese bullied me for being a weird kid that didn’t speak much English at first… then for non-Asians that I encounter… its racism, not everyone of course, but common enough to have this feeling of “rejection”
I do have US Citizenship… so I should be feeling very “fitting in” here… I can speak English very close to a native speaker…
But then we got a new sheriff in town… a second time… 🤦♂️ (y’all know who…)
So yeah…
Haven’t actually encountered ICE yet… but this is causing a lot of anxiety…
The US is beautiful, but politics is so corrupted… ugh…
Idk if it’s paranoia… but I feel kinda like very hyper vigilant if I’m in a predominantly white neighborhood…
Haven’t seen a lynch mob yet… but the thought of it is kinda scary…
- Comment on When will gas stations start selling rotisserie chicken? 4 weeks ago:
BJs already does that
- Comment on Is the "everyday stuff" supposed to feel normal? Do y'all just have a parent do things then when you're supposed to be the adult you panic? 4 weeks ago:
I DID IT
now its the waiting game…
lets hope the state department (of the USA) doesn’t um… you know… “accidentally lose” my proof of citizenship…
👀
(Orange is Sus btw, pls eject the imposter)
- Comment on Is the "everyday stuff" supposed to feel normal? Do y'all just have a parent do things then when you're supposed to be the adult you panic? 4 weeks ago:
Nvm, sorry to bother you.
- Submitted 4 weeks ago to [deleted] | 32 comments
- Comment on Why is society at large okay with euthanasia for pets but not for humans? 4 weeks ago:
Lets be honest, most humans do not view pets as equals to a human. Valuing our own species over others is just part of our biology. (not saying that I agree with this view)
If people had the legal responsibility to keep paying thousands or tens of thousands (or potentially more) to keep a pet alive at its senior years, then like… I bet like 50% of pet owners will either become bankrupt or go to jail for animal cruelty.
Laws are just written with humans prioritized… I mean… humans have healthcare¹, pets do not.
A human in an emergency situation arriving in a hospital, and they are legally required to give treatment even if the person cannot pay at the time¹, a vet can legally refuse to treat a pet in an emergency until the owner pays (not saying that would refuse, but they could).
(¹restrictions apply, varies by country)
One could argue that if euthanasia is legal, then there would be situations of: “Hey, granny is kinda taking too much resouces… maybe we should just pull the life support?” or “Okay my child has cancer and takes up too much of my money, and all this money would be wasted if the treatment fails, I’m gonna talk to the doctor and end this parasite once and for all”
- Comment on What was the stupidest form of US defaultism you've encountered in real life whilst they're abroad? 4 weeks ago:
Not exactly an answer but:
No joke, when I was 8 years old, my family left the China for the first time and then I saw some food item in a store in the Korean airport costing something like 15,000 of a currency, I was like holy shit are all foreigners this rich?
Then my dad told me its just a different currency, its actually just equivalent to something like $10 美金 “American Money” (USD)…
Which I also didn’t understand what it meant, before that incident, the Chinese Yuan / Renminbi was the only thing I knew of…
So for a while, its was just the adult’s weird magic numbers to me lol…
I think some people just never left their country before and never learned about stuff, maybe their parents are also ignorant and never taught them anything.
And the English Language Defaultism probably arises from it being widely taught and so many countries use it like Canada, UK, Australia… and lot of the colonized countries still retained it like India… and its the probably most commonly taught languahe in non-anglosphere countries… So, some English-speaking people just made a false assumption about the world…
- Comment on За що дають тіньовий Бан на reddit? 4 weeks ago:
Technically not a rule lol
- Comment on For people who distrust police / the legal system: If you ran a small bussiness and need to hire people, and someone has a conviction but they claim innocence, do you hire them? 4 weeks ago:
actually not legal to interrogate people that long
Japanese Legal System have joined the chat
- Submitted 5 weeks ago to support@lemmy.world | 3 comments
- Comment on For people who distrust police / the legal system: If you ran a small bussiness and need to hire people, and someone has a conviction but they claim innocence, do you hire them? 5 weeks ago:
I mean, let’s say the person said something like: “It wasn’t me, they [framed me / they got the wrong person / etc…]”
I mean people do get wrongfully convicted… but who do you believe? The courts, or this person claiming innocence who might actually be telling the truth (but you can’t really verify it)? That’s the crux of this problem.
- Submitted 5 weeks ago to [deleted] | 28 comments
- Comment on Why would anyone doordash food from a place that already does delivery? 5 weeks ago:
Depends…
I ordered from Pizzahut’s website and they just sent it to doordash…
I think I remember once Dominos (not sure if I remember correctly) was busy so instead of sending their regular delivery driver, they just sent it to doordash to complete the delivery… 🤷♂️
Everything is doordash now
Chinese restaurants
Ramen places
Literally everything
- Submitted 5 weeks ago to [deleted] | 17 comments
- Comment on Not to get into a debate. If God is so omnipotent and above humans why does he or she have emotions? Like smiting or being upset or wrath? 5 weeks ago:
IQ =/= EQ
- Comment on Why do airports place a cap on 10,000 USD for undeclared cash? 5 weeks ago:
My mom got robbed and they took nearly $1000 from her… (okay idk why the fuck she was carrying so much cash, but that’s whole another story)
She was literally on the way to the bank…
Then again, we are Asian American and non-Asians in America loves to target us… and obviously cops don’t give a fuck.
We need to bring back the rooftop Koreans to patrol the streets, police is useless
- Comment on Why do airports place a cap on 10,000 USD for undeclared cash? 5 weeks ago:
Tbf you’re more likely to get robbed by random people in broad daylight than encountering a cop that will civil asset forfeiture you, so its just bad idea to have lots of cash regardless of country.
- Comment on What's the best way to tell a kid that their dog died? 5 weeks ago:
Relevent clip: www.youtube.com/watch?v=YiH3tZoNgmE
- Comment on You know how some medications numbs your emotions... so what happens if you're on those medications and you receive news of a close family member dying, do you like... not have any emotions over it? 5 weeks ago:
lmfao
Nah I would use a throwaway if I was actually doing that. I said so much shit on this account that its very easy to deanonymize.
- Submitted 5 weeks ago to [deleted] | 9 comments
- Comment on Random Choice in Newcomb's Paradox 5 weeks ago:
Coin flips are not random…
Its “random” to you because you are not that supercomputer, you are a mortal meatbag
- Comment on [deleted] 5 weeks ago:
Thanks pal, new phobia added to my list of ever growing phobias… 😭
- Comment on Are there any good protest songs from the past few years? 5 weeks ago:
願榮光歸香港 (Glory to Hong Kong) Protest Song during 2019 Hong Kong Protests…
(And… of course Youtube now age-restricts this video… was fine for the past 7 years… wtf)
Here’s someone’s reupload: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pe1gTPcWyds
The original lyrics in Cantonese are lit, the English version doesn’t even feel the same
This song is illegal in anywhere under PRC control, but I’m lucky to have to privilage to sing this as an Overseas Chinese
- Comment on How come they don't make generic drugs for cats and dogs. I love my sisters buddy to death. Its just weird that all my meds are generic but animals are name brand. I just hate spend 250 every 3 mon. 5 weeks ago:
Animals can’t vote 😿
(And animal “owners”/guardians do not have enough sway in politics)
- Comment on Y'all ever have intrusive thoughts about accidentally dropping stuff in storm drains? (particulary when you have your phone out) And like if that happens, wtf is someone supposed to do? 5 weeks ago:
No way, you just went inside yourself?
Bruh, I’d get grabbed by the sewage demon and never be seen again
(Also cuz gemophobia 🤮)
- Comment on Y'all ever have intrusive thoughts about accidentally dropping stuff in storm drains? (particulary when you have your phone out) And like if that happens, wtf is someone supposed to do? 5 weeks ago:
Did you eat the devil’s fruit thingy in One Piece? (didn’t really watch it, that stuff got a bit too weird for me lol)
- Comment on Y'all ever have intrusive thoughts about accidentally dropping stuff in storm drains? (particulary when you have your phone out) And like if that happens, wtf is someone supposed to do? 5 weeks ago:
Ignoring it does not diminish the chance of accidentally dropping your wallet with $100 into the storm drain…
I’d argue you’d have to be aware of where it is so you can avoid it… (I’ve seen videos of people falling into a maintanance hole)
- Submitted 5 weeks ago to [deleted] | 61 comments
- Comment on It's tax season and my parents don't really feel lime paying this... Alright Lemmy, what should they do? 👀 5 weeks ago:
They’d be happier if I stole 6 dollars from their bank every day and gave them a $2000 Red Envelope on Lunar News Years lmfao.