.🤨.

Comments

• Mulligrubs@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Official explanation: The Holy Spirit narrated to the author. This can be quite removed, some books were written many years after the event, some were passed down. Then the Council of Nicea went through all of these tales and said “This is real, we can tell, were putting this in the Bible.”

  They also resolved a pressing issue for the new church. “Stop cutting off your balls, this is a metaphor, not literal instructions. Even though He said that they were instructions, that was also a metaphor.”

  You probably think I’m joking… but sadly, no.

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  • ceiphas@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

    The celibate came in the middle ages and wasnt a law before the begin of the 20th century

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  • tomi000@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Official explanation: The Holy Spirit narrated to the author.

    You mean the four authors who all wrote the same story but slightly different?

    Holy spirit talking to people must have been common back then. Strange how it just stopped.

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    • spankysalmon@fedinsfw.app ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      It didn’t stop, we just understand it as psychosis these days.

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  • im_fine_sandy@nord.pub ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Some of the other writings that didn’t make the cut for the canonical bible are wild.

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  • VindictiveJudge@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

    “Oh, just one more thing… you can’t get married. No, He didn’t say that, but we’re inspired by the Magic Bird, so mote it be.”

    Didn’t that one come later because certain members of the clergy were having kids and functionally turning their positions into hereditary fiefdoms?

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    • HK65@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

      IiRC it was more so that the Church got actual fiefdoms and wanted control so that potential priestly families wouldn’t just distance themselves into secular noble houses, taking lands with them.

      Fiefdoms and related duties originated from kings, so the church wanted similar parallel rights over their vassal priests.

      source
  • neuracnu@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Flagging for best-of-lemmy

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  • bitjunkie@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Well, he didn’t say you can’t rape little boys…

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  • Salamanderwizard@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Wait what? Really? I mean I figured. Just…it was basically like that?

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• TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨57⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

  My favorite part is how well it can be used to light a fireplace. Just tear out some pages, put some wood over it and light it. Secundair use is rolling paper when you’ve run out.

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  • fodor@lemmy.zip ⁨35⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

    It does not work well as toilet paper. But in a a pinch give it a try. Consider your ass warned, though.

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• FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  He came back after getting crucified prolly told them about it then

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• ceenote@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  The part where Moses describes his own death is also pretty trippy.

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• frog@feddit.uk ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  God spoke to the writers of the gospels and told them to write down the story.

  I mean I have no idea why each version of the same story is different. Maybe different timelines, dimensions?

  God works in mysterious ways. 🤷‍♂️

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  • bitjunkie@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Different idiots.

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• 20cello@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Makes sense

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• weps@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  new testament is obviously bullshit

  the old testament has some really great stories but it’s unfortunate the Jews rewrote all the stories to fit their narrative

  still not a bad book

  7/10

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