TheDoozer

@TheDoozer@lemmy.world

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon is worried about men⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩:

  I was with you (to a degree)until:

  they’re supposed to miraculously become an expert in navigating a potentially life-destroying minefield, where the only two outcomes is magically getting it right, or risking a non-trivial probability of incarceration and a criminal record when they (invariably) get it wrong?

  This is some nonsense. The worst the man will get (barring some VERY unacceptable behavior on his part) is yelled at by an angry (and probably shitty, if all the man did was politely approach at even a remotely reasonable time) woman. Which, turns out, is something women deal with from shitty men fairly regularly. It turns out, when you are interacting with strangers out in public, there is a small chance you are going to interact with an asshole. That doesn’t mean you should be a hermit, that means you met an asshole. And if everyone you meet is an asshole… you’re probably the asshole.

  But nobody is going to jail or having life-shattering consequences for saying hello to a woman they don’t know.

  THAT BEING SAID, if we, as men, are regularly told that approaching a woman in public is uncomfortable, unpleasant, or downright scary for women, decent men won’t want to approach women in order to avoid making them uncomfortable.

  My personal experience has been to the contrary, and have struck up conversations with a number of women I didn’t know in public, and never had a particularly bad experience. Maybe I am generally non-threatening, or maybe I have better social skills than some, but if all a person who rarely interacts with women hears is that initiating any sort of contact is unpleasant to the woman they talk to, I can’t imagine they’d be inclined to strike up a conversation. And if they do make women uncomfortable (due to poor social skills from… not regularly interacting with women), it only reinforces that belief.

  What’s the answer? I don’t know. But it feels like making men who care about the feelings of women uncomfortable with approaching them does nothing but leave the ones who don’t care. I think the message needs to change.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨frenly warnin⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  This reminds me of an anecdote talking about language differences between the US armed services:

  If you told a Marine to secure a building, they would kick the door in and take control of the building.

  If you told a soldier in the Army to secure a building, they would set up a fence around it and establish a sentry.

  If you told a Navy sailor to secure a building, they’d turn off all the lights and close and lock the door on their way out.

  If you told an Airforce airman to secure a building, they would write up a purchasing contract.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Is 33 cents a small amount of money?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  When you are talking large income to larger income, that makes total sense, but are there limits for access to things like child tax credits where if you go over you are no longer eligible, causing significant increase (I just looked, and it’s at $200k single of $400k jointly, so unless you have A LOT of children, I suppose there wouldn’t be a huge effect)? Similar to people on government assistance who go from getting full assistance to getting nothing at a certain income level?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Almost done⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Man, I do enjoy taking the wind out of the sails of presumptuous people knee-jerking a response without knowing any specifics.

  I spent most of my career flying in relatively dangerous conditions in helicopters (or on small boats, before I went into aviation) in order to save people from drowning in the ocean or freezing in the woods. I’ve had two coworkers who’ve crashed (in separate incidences), one of which was at the door sending a dewatering pump to a sinking boat. I specifically joined the service I did because, as I told the recruiter, I can choose to join, but I can’t choose where I’m sent after, and I’m still responsible for my actions because I chose to join in the first place. There’s nothing morally ambiguous about saving somebody whose boat is sinking.

  Now, don’t get me wrong, having more and more of our people being sent to “defend the border” definitely falls in the realm of “not what I signed up for,” but I haven’t personally been forced into that, and am extremely unlikely to.

  So I may have dealt with some brown kids whose lives were threatened, but certainly haven’t found any that were a threat themselves (except to themselves… boaters tend to be their own worst enemies).

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Almost done⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I remember that time well. Mine are 5 and 10, so I’m moving out of the more intensive child-rearing time. When I retire, they should both be at or near the “too busy for Dad” time, so other than giving rides, my days should be free and clear. I’m really looking forward to it.

  Good luck with the little ones!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Almost done⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I retire (military) in 4 years, and my countdown feels like this, but more specific. I just had to re-enlist, and I was asking if I had to do full years, or if I could do 4.3 to line up with the anniversary of my enlistment (to retire THE DAY I am technically able to).

  Not that I don’t enjoy my job, because I do, but I’m excited to be able to do whatever I want with my time and let my wife be the primary support for us for awhile.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨It's why they tried to get rid of it⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  And Pluto knows that it’s Hot Shit.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  I think he’s saying seeing a therapist that doesn’t specialize in gender dysphoria (kind of the “to a hammer, everything is a nail” thought). So going in and talking about all their mental health issues, and seeing if gender dysphoria comes out with it.

  I don’t think it’s a terrible read, if it seems like gender dysphoria is coming out of nowhere. Very different if OP was showing signs of it most of their life, and their dad had just refused to acknowledge it. Tough to tell just from what’s written, but I think the dad is remarkably reasonable.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Are mood problems a “turn off” for people even when they’re hard to manage?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Even more, it’s the justifying it with the “I’m just trying to help them” and “tough love” bullshit. That’s not a mood problem, or anything like that. That is being an asshole (not that they are mutually exclusive).

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨brain blowing orgasms⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Holy shit what a way to go.

  Get horny > have sex > orgasm > keep orgasming > die of too much orgasm

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Looks legit, but can it actually be a real thing?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Do you wish to see them, PetaQ?!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Speedometer, or Siegometer?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  It goes from 0 to Seig-sty in 7.6 seconds.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Why was Hitler so mean and hateful toward one group or another? I find it hard to believe he woke up one day and said you and you suck but these people over here are good. Taking it so far as killing?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Not exactly (from my reading). The Jewish communities tended to be fairly insular, and focused a lot of their business inward. They still dealt with outsiders, but money flow tended to move mostly in one direction, so it seemed like the Jewish people were much better off and “taking” from the rest, when the rest of the country struggled. It was really more that a marginalized community took care of their own. Shocking, right?

  Plenty of other communities do the same. It’s still a bunch of scapegoating.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨If you're falling apart at only 27 you're in real trouble⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Then at 40:

  “Oof… my hip is killing me…”

  “What’d you do?”

  “Got out of bed? My fault for laying down in the first place I guess.”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Uncanny sandwich⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  But I like burgers.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I liked Star Trek before it got woke. /s⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  I remember that being a little more “coercive and rapey” than bribing, since the nurse was the one who demanded “fuck me and I’ll set you free, or you can wait for whatever they are going to do to you.”

  I get Riker is full of fucks to give, but he didn’t seem terribly pleased with not having a choice.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I like the determinism of Murphy’s Razor⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  I had understood it to mean, the more simple a theory is, the more likely it is to be true.

  E.g. “organisms change through time to become the creatures that exist today” vs. “organisms change through time to become the creatures that exist today through the intelligent design of a creator.”

  The former, having fewer conditions to be true, is more likely to be true.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Simple Sabotage Field Manual⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  I felt my blood pressure rise as i read through that.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I don't think they understand. We're interviewing them too.⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Some of them maybe, but asking the working hours, the health insurance, and whether the company will wait or buy out the two months might be complete deal-breakers, and saves both sides time by asking up front (and for the first two, should have been offered up front prior to the interview, to prevent wasted time).

  It’s like being offended if, on a first date, one person asks if the other ever wants to have kids. If you know the long term potential is dependent on something, getting that question out there up front saves both parties, and anybody getting upset over it is scamming (getting them invested before being willing to discuss it). Same as not taking about general (not specific) payscale for the position, medical coverage, hours, or whatever until the second or third interview.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨USA Air Force issues new guide regarding acceptable phrases to be used when on duty⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  My favorite part is “Eat shit and die” is addressed to the enlisted (“excuse me” being the replacement) and “Eat shit and die, motherfucker” is addressed to officers (“excuse me, Sir”), because you wouldn’t be saying “sir” to enlisted members.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anons make the worst game ever⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Lol, I just said that to my wife! She’s just finished Heavensward, and it took a lot of “seriously it gets better! But also I played through the first hour of the new expansion and fought one mob. Of three low-level trash creatures. So… but it’s good! Really!”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Great tee shirt with words of wisdom that I bet you never realized⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Gonna has to go piece by piece through this:

  obviously everyman has had a dick in his hand for obvious reasons.

  This line is trans-exclusive, which would probably be given a pass by all but the most ardent trans-inclusive commenters, but still not great.

  And all females

  Dude. There are some times when an argument is made that saying “females” is not inherently objectifying, especially in a scientific, military, or other setting where people are categorized that way, with the significant difference being consistency (e.g. man/woman, male/female, etc). Using one then the other strips all that away and makes it seem like referring to women as “females” is just your normal tendency, which strongly suggests the objectifying behavior.

  And all females old enough for sexual interactions have had one in their hand.

  This is just obviously wrong, as plenty of lesbians, asexual people, or those with lack of access to sexual connections with others have not had a dick in their hands, and that is not an insignificant percentage of women, I’d imagine.

  The next time I shake the hand of a woman I am going to wonder how many dicks she has had in that hand.

  As if to underline the “females” comment, it’s pretty telling that you feel it worth mentioning that you’re going to wonder how many dicks were in the hands of women, but not men (especially funny since any man you meet has most likely had a dick in his hand more recently than a woman).

  Sometimes it is difficult to notice your own biases, so I hope this makes you think about what leads you toward thinking like this, and just general self-reflection.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Great tee shirt with words of wisdom that I bet you never realized⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Kind of irrelevant, because there’s lots of lesbians who have never touched a dick.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Bumper sticker⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  “Part of my religion is forced evangelism. The government getting in the way of me forcing my religion on others violates my Freedom of Religion.”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What are your favourite trailers?⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  The Battlefield 1 trailer.

  I had never played a Battlefield game, and that trailer got me pumped enough to buy it at launch. Also, WWI was such an interesting (and horrifying) war.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Drift!!⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Yeah, one of the most infuriating things, that we have to find ways for the people who caused the problem to profit from fixing it to get anything accomplished.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  The reality is because of the lived experiences of people based on the color of their skin, people are different based on skin color. You’re right that it’s a stupid reason to think differently of people, but if people had been mistreated for many generations based on the color of their hair, and there was still a good chunk of people that something so arbitrary was somehow important, then you would want to approach a person with that hair color with understanding of that history and current struggle.

  So why does it matter? Because 100 years ago, their great-great-grandparents had any wealth they managed to build up taken from them, 70 years ago their great-grandparents were kept boxed into separate, substandard areas, and 50 years ago their grandparents were kept from being able to buy homes outside low-income, substandard housing areas, and 30 years ago their parents were told it was their fault for growing up in crime-filled, poor areas with under-funded schools. And the whole time police have continuously treated them as that same substandard, poor, likely-criminal, so they have disproportionately been put in jail or grown up with one parent in jail. This obviously doesn’t apply to everyone, but it’s enough to lead people to treat them differently, either because they presume (until otherwise established) that they are poor, poorly educated, and likely criminal (by basically racist assholes) or with a certain amount of respect for their presumed struggles.

  Taking it to an extreme, if a person comes across a very old person with a number tattooed in block letters on their forearm, they will respond one of two ways: with respect and concern for their presumed struggles and trauma, or with irrational hatred (by neo-nazis). Judging or “separating” a person for a barely noticeable tattoo that they didn’t even put on themselves may seem arbitrary, but only if you ignore the entire history that makes them different.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Pterosaurs⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  My dog’s name is Die Fledermaus. He’s a black-and-tan dachshund.

  We call him Maus for short. But he does look like a little bat dog.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Pterosaurs⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  How is it that we discover bones of a large flying creature, and first thought is “it looks mammalian, like a flying possum!” And then “nah, that’s ridiculous. It was a flying reptile! Like a DRAGON!”

  Large flying creature, and nobody thinks giant bird? Really?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨When you die, what do you want to be done with you?⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Gotta launch the arrows at the climax, too, for maximum effect.