NABDad

@NABDad@lemmy.world

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Caption this.⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  If the MRI is on fire, LET THE MOTHERFUCKER BURN!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨He professor Oaked the baby 😂⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I do that with our guinea pigs.

  They get a cookie* every day at 5:00 pm when I get finished with work. After 5:00, whether l come in the back door or just come downstairs from my office, they start wheaking and chewing on the bars of their pen (which they think encourages us to give them food for some reason).

  Sometimes, after I’ve given them their cookie, I’ll go back up to my office. When I come back, they start acting like they didn’t get the cookie.

  I just walk up to them and tell them that they already got it and they aren’t getting another. They stare at me for a moment, then just go back about their business.

  I don’t think they actually forget they they got it. I think they just hope I might have forgotten. But it is interesting that all they need me to do is tell them they got it already and they give up.

  * The cookie is a vitamin C supplement made of pressed hay with molasses as a binder. The molasses is why they lose their minds over them.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon is a nervous individual⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  As long as the store isn’t a 24x7 operation, at some point they will want to close. If you’re still there, they’ll ask you what you want.

  At that point, you panic and run home.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon is a nervous individual⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Ridiculous. If your number is skipped, you pick another number and keep waiting.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Should you trust that doctor?⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Having The Doctor at the top is a little strange, because hanging with the doctor could very well mean your death, but it will be worth it.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨House Centipedes⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I call them eyelashes.

  They are welcome in my home as long as they can find sustenance. My only rule is they are not permitted to shower with me.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Wait until they find out about chickens!⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Why would you waste the stem in soup when you could eat it raw?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Wait until they find out about chickens!⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  It’s also good raw, but you do have to peel it.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Rejection⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  The timing can be a surprise, but if you don’t know the answer, don’t ask the question.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The Six Triple Eight (2024, dir Tyler Perry)⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Is my app messed up, or did you include a link to the trailer for the LEGO avengers movie?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Ok boomer⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Yeah, you wouldn’t want to get fired by Walmart. You’d have to go on welfa… oh.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon lives in the midwest⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Sounds like the Amish would be ok with a robotic vacuum as long as it charged itself from a solar panel.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How can you make sure the ashes you get after a loved one dies is actually theirs?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Cremation doesn’t burn everything to ash. Pieces of bone are left intact and must be mechanically pulverized to make the remains a powder.

  When my dad’s dog was cremated many years ago, the remains they gave us were partially ash, but the larger pieces hadn’t been pulverized. It still had many intact pieces of bone. We could see evidence of some injuries and degenerative disease the dog had experienced in his hip and spine.

  I’m not sure how many people would be down for rooting through their pet’s remains for proof that it is the right animal.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon has a special request⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  creamed remains

  Now I want to see your recipe book.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How do I alleviate bitterness due to lack of intimacy?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Yeah, that’s what I meant. Ask the women in your life for advice.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How do I alleviate bitterness due to lack of intimacy?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  What do your woman friends say?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Too soon?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  You know, strand a wacky crew on a Mars base with some goofy passengers… I’d probably watch it.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Officials probe death of Wells Fargo employee found dead in her cubicle 4 days after last scanning into work⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  This happened to someone I worked with years ago. Not in a cubicle, but in a locked basement office. I was his supervisor.

  He died in the office on a Friday evening. He had taken off work the following Monday and Tuesday because he was going to do some work on his house.

  His brother was supposed to meet him on the Saturday, but he never showed up. By Wednesday, the police were involved, and they called me to ask me to see if he was in the office.

  I worked in a different building a few blocks away, so I headed over.

  I didn’t have a key to get in his office, but there happened to be a ladder, so I climbed up and popped out the ceiling tiles to look over the wall.

  He was a strange, troubled guy but very kind.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨AAAAAAAAAA⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  The “screaming” is their version of flirting. They’ve been buried a long time, and they don’t have much time to get their groove on.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Suddenly it all makes sense.⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  When you suck your fat gut in so hard your rib cage pops out.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨So it begins...⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  This is what comes from not having anyone in your life who can tell you you’re an idiot.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Centipedes Don't Fuck⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Someone has already centipedized humans. This is the next step.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨My Empire of Podsols⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  I still prefer Kermit’s version.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨PSA: Libraries⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Our library let’s you borrow free passes to different museums and attractions in the area.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Real Facebook ad that doubles as a god-tier shitpost⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Good thing I’m not a conservative so I don’t have to shave with that piece of crap.

  DE for me!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨And why your brother is your father and the father of your child😂⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  You have to separate boy guinea pigs at 4 weeks of age to keep them from impregnating their mom and sisters.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How do trees know?⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  It’s not that complex.

  A mutation happens. It can result in either a disadvantage that prevents the plant from surviving to reproduce or an advantage that helps the plant survive to reproduce.

  There’s no “knowing” involved. There is no intent on the part of the plant. It’s just random. You’re seeing the descendants of the plants that got an advantageous mutation.

  What you’re not seeing in your yard are the billions of different plants that never survived because their mutation was a disadvantage.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨pillow :33⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Spicy!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨No problems here⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Years ago I saw an article about a robot designed to hunt and kill insects as a healthier pest control mechanism in farming. That robot would put the insects into a hopper where they would be converted to fuel to run the robot.

  I figured it wasn’t going to be too long before they’d be eating us.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨return2ozma was right⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Biden could probably win by promising to resign after Inauguration Day. I think the devils we know are making the devil we don’t know lol attractive.