My son got Nikes so he doesn't get teased.

Submitted ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨BigTrout75@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨mildlyinfuriating@lemmy.world⁩

He’s always wore sketchers. Like since he was 4. Recently, he got really emotionally taking about shoes he wanted for middle school. He said if he doesn’t get Nikes he’s going to get teased. Great fucking marketing work Nike.

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Dorkyd68@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
It’s not a Nike thing. It’s a kid thing. Kids are dicks, sorry

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- DistrictSIX@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  Is that why Apple has got the US by the balls because people want to avoid the dreaded green bubble in iMessage? I’m not from the US so that might be me misunderstanding the situation, but I’ve been told that even many adults in the US view that as a valid reason to avoid anything that’s not an iphone, because of some social stigma attached to it.
  
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  - Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    As far as I hear every time: Yep
    
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  - AA5B@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    As an American I’m still not convinced.
    
    Apple successfully sold themselves as a better choice, the “in”thing - to adults. Most adults I know have iPhones and the ones who don’t seem self-conscious about it. It might have partly to do with Android phones originally sold as the budget alternative. We’re the shallow ones.
    
    Kids can take their cues from adults: they see iPhones as the “better”, more desired choice. But also take it to the next level, with teasing and bullying.
    
    I find it hard to believe anyone cares about the color of text bubbles, especially since kids don’t use iMessage, despite all the media making that claim. It’s just an excuse, but the social stigma is real
    
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  - Dreaming_Novaling@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    Green bubble shaming is real and I felt it in middle school but more so in highschool from my own softball team. Hated that shit, but I loved my Moto g7 play so those bitches can fuck themselves.
    
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  - RedPostItNote@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    You can call it social stigma but it’s really just that there’s more you can do when texting someone else with an apple phone. A lot of the time the same messaging has a totally different vibe than when both people are on iPhones. Things can be lost in context etc.
    
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- VitoRobles@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  When I was a kid, there was a phase where everyone was obsessed with red flannel. Went on for like 3 months.
  
  Imagine a pro dominantly black/Latino school in the hood where we’re all dressing up like Al Borland from Home Improvement.
  
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  - RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    I mean, I can see it
    
    1000039024
    
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  - RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    That sounds awesome.
    
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- SphereofWreckening@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  It’s both. Kids suck and can be clique-like over the dumbest things. But these corporations also realize the amount they can make when their brand is a “status symbol”, and they purposely market around that.
  
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rumba@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
I got teased for my shoes. I got better shoes, I got teased for my jacket, I got a better jacket. So then they just made shit up to tease me about.

I saw the fucker that bullied me relentlessly for all three years in middle school about 10 years later. He was pounding stakes in the ground setting up for a carnival. He stopped me in apologized which was kind of surprising. I gave him an absolutely hollow but convincing thanks and what about my day.

I did a little light internet stalking, turns out he’s vocal that can’t keep a job, construction companies fire him for “no reason” and he’s now down to whatever local company will hire him for physical labor. The only truly sad part is he has multiple children with multiple women and will not own up to any of them.

Though, I really suppose I owe a lot of who I am to the hell he put me through. Insults mean fuck all to me and I can ignore stress in a bad situation and make solid decisions.

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- anachrohack@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  [deleted]
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  - DangedIfYouDid@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    How much did your repairs cost?
    
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- TheRealKuni@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  My grade school bully is serving life in prison for attempted double homicide. IIRC he’s also a sex offender.
  
  Obviously the decisions he made as an adult are his responsibility, but honestly I feel bad for him. He didn’t have much of a chance. His home life was terrible, and he took it out on those around him. He had no positive role models in his daily life besides those at his school, who were always punishing him because he couldn’t conform to a world utterly foreign to his own where people weren’t constantly shitty to one another, and the school didn’t have any better idea how to handle him. The kid had no support. His father was in and out of jail/prison, his mother was overwhelmed. He fell through the cracks.
  
  It’s no surprise he turned out a piece of shit.
  
  That doesn’t excuse his actions. Plenty of people come from difficult origins and are good people leading decent lives.
  
  But I do pity him.
  
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- axEl7fB5@lemmy.cafe ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  He chose Hookas instead of Hoka
  
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- Trainguyrom@reddthat.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  The kid who bullied me relentlessly in middle school had an extremely unique name. I’ve been following his career since as he’s been listed in news articles for being arrested for increasingly severe crimes, most recently being described as the kingpin of a car theft ring. Glad to know he’s been quite successful in his career so far with credentials like that!
  
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oce@jlai.lu ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Did you try to teach him to be proud of his independence and differences? Maybe you can work with him on nice come backs against the teasing.

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- Deceptichum@quokk.au ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  Oh man it’s like every out of touch bad advice I was given as a kid came back.
  
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  - oce@jlai.lu ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    Being proud of your independence and difference is bad advice? What’s your world like then, submitting and following others?
    
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- dil@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  Comebacks dont matter when you can just point at the shoes and call him broke (im not a teen anymore but come on guys lol, thats when you fit in to avoid issues or have issues, no magical way out)
  
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  - Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    There is a way out, but it involves not caring what classmates think. That’s a high bar for a lot of kids, especially in middle school, and kids have to come to that conclusion on their own. No amount of adults telling them “you shouldn’t care” will change things.
    
    By high school I found social success after not caring what others thought. But I had been bullied my whole school experience up til that point, so by high school I had run out of fucks to give. In other words, I learned the hard way, but that’s something every teen has to figure out for themselves.
    
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  - Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    I don’t know about now, but back in the 90s the magical out was that you punched them in the face.
    
    Back then the concept of a school shooting didn’t exist, and parents didn’t threaten to sue the school every 5 minutes.
    
    So teachers would just let the fights go.
    
    “Oh, Billy tried bullying Bobby, and now Bobby punched Billy in the face? Eh…call me when they break bones and spill blood. I’m going to go make popcorn.”
    
    These days? I’m sure both kids would get expelled.
    
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- BorgDrone@feddit.nl ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  But it’s not “his independence” if it wasn’t his choice to buy those shoes. You cannot be proud of your own choices when they weren’t your own choices.
  
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  - notnotmike@programming.dev ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    That’s actually a really good point you’ve made here. It’s easy to defend the shoes as a parent because you’re the one who (1) understands the rationale behind buying them and (2) made the decision to buy them
    
    I wonder if a good decision in this scenario is to just give the child a shoe allowance and let them pick. If they want Nike’s they will have to find a pair that fits the budget
    
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  - oce@jlai.lu ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    I guess he had more than one pair and he could have been asking for the last ones.
    
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- dil@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  he could be but hes gonna get roasted for sketchers til college probably
  
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5in1k@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Happened to me. Got Nikes, got teased because they were not a good enough model. Kids are monsters.

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- dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  Yup. Learned that one back in the 3rd grade. This stuff is hard if you’re not experienced enough to know how people work.
  
  On the upside, I learned that one cannot buy their way into other’s good graces, especially if they’re going to require you to modify your behavior to get there; they’re lying and that was never the issue. On the downside: holy shit that hurts once it goes wrong the first time.
  
  As an adult I can also appreciate that there are situations where you can “buy your way in” to a club or status of some sort. IMO, those situations are generally not worth it to begin with, requiring an never-ending stream of cash to keep up appearances. Plus, it surrounds you with other people that also believe, and are invested, in the program. It’s a recipe for elitism at best, and a big 'ol grift at worst. Better friends and relationships can be had for $0 everywhere else.
  
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- laranis@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  Yeah, he’s not getting made fun of for his shoes. They’re just a convenient target of ridicule. Son is about to learn a life lesson.
  
  I’m sorry. People are shit.
  
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NABDad@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
I always knew shoes weren’t going to save my kids from bullying, so I got them karate instead.

The bullying still happened, until they decided it was time for it to stop. Then it stopped.

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- FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  I don’t have kids, but I do have a brother who is young enough to be my child, and I was very happy when he broke the nose of his bully.
  
  That motherfucker had to learn.
  
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  - NABDad@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    There was some anxiety on my part when my middle child told me he punched his bully in the high school cafeteria. I had felt his punches through a heavy-duty punching shield, and I assumed it would lead to criminal or civil cases. However, when I asked if the bully was ok, he said he pulled the punch.
    
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- corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  That sounds like your kids responded in a way that every karate club against.
  
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  - Cracks_InTheWalls@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    Every serious bullying incident I ran into growing up ended when a kid got popped in the mouth. Every unserious bullying incident made no impact when I knew if it got serious, I could pop them in the mouth and likely come out on top.
    
    I’ve met way too many adults with personality issues that were a product of adults telling child them “physical violence is always wrong, just tell an adult, be the bigger person” etc. It always needs to be taught as a last resort, and it needs to be understood that even justified violence comes with consequences and other tools must be used first, but when you’ve done everything you’re supposed to and no one is helping to the resolve the problem, sometimes you have to do it yourself.
    
    It ain’t pretty, and it ain’t ideal, but it’s the way it is.
    
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  - Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    
    until they decided it was time for it to stop. Then it stopped.
    
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Archangel1313@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
When I was young (in the late 80’s) it was Air Jordans.

But, on top of being teased for not having them, you would also get jumped by kids who wanted to steal them from you.

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- MrSpArkle@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  It’s still air Jordans because Nike is a joke.
  
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BigTrout75@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
I tried, His Mom agreed and already bought him shoes.

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- BossDj@piefed.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  One of mine is in high school, and as much as I hate the confirming culture, especially because it's led by morons and marketing, I choose the same path. I allowed my (now high school kid) to participate in all the awful crap that I would never do myself when she felt middle school pressure. She was in the popular kids group.
  
  The caveat has been it all comes with extreme education from my end. Not demeaning or condescending. I over-preach about marketing/ads/influencers and constantly question why people make the choices they do. I question everything though. "How do you know that?" often leads back to tick tock.
  
  In my experience, the OTHER kids are now getting smarter as they age. Mine is now able to live her life how she wants and is still with that same group , and the kids (I shit you not) look to her for purchasing advice. The vanity kinda goes away as their brains leave that dumb social hierarchy age.
  
  Note: My kids are/were decked out in Nike. We live by the world headquarters and a good chunk of the kids' parents work there. If that isn't peer pressure, I dunno what is!
  
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LavaPlanet@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
I don’t know if this is a bad idea, but recently all the Chinese manufacturers spoke out about how much the products they make actually cost, you can find the exact warehouse that makes them, and order directly from them, at a ridiculous mark down. Like a 10th of the price, or less. Might be worth some research. I see Adidas sambas for $10, including postage. They’re all there. They just don’t have the actual name label on them yet, because that’s all they do when they reach the distributor, though, so might be useless to you.

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- wild@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  How do you find these?
  
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  - LavaPlanet@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    I was too lazy to actually go find the specific warehouses. I just downloaded taobao, it’s partially in English now. I’ve seen and saved a few tiktoks with descriptions of the locations and which places do which items / brands. I just genuinely don’t have time to deep dive and do proper research, though.
    
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  - pineapplelover@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    Probably aliexpress or something
    
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pleaaaaaze@lemmings.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
The solution to bullying is to do as the bully says /s

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- melsaskca@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  It seems to be working for America right now.
  
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- kieron115@startrek.website ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  I was unironically told that I should “keep a lower profile” if I want to avoid being bullied. I spoke to nobody and hugged the walls walking from class to class. I don’t know how much lower of a profile I could keep.
  
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  - rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    Same. The principal and vice principals at the last high school I attended were also the football coaches. Going to them about how the jocks were kicking the shit out of me for being too nerdy and queer for their tastes got me that same “just keep a lower profile” bullshit from the highest authority figures in that dump.
    
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- Valmond@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  Good luck fighting 200 8 year olds
  
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  - ICastFist@programming.dev ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    Easy as an adult, not so much as a kid with a similar age
    
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  - VonReposti@feddit.dk ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    LPT If you back down a narrow corridor, make them come down single file, you can take them one by one.
    
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  - bradorsomething@ttrpg.network ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    I’m not saying anyone here wants to fight a y number of 8-year-olds, but how many do you feel he could take?
    
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IsThisAnAI@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Yeah this is a Nike problem and not something that’s been going on since the beginning of formalized group education.

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- shalafi@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  I got shit on for not having Nike shoes, *in the 70s *.
  
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dan1101@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
I went through the same Nike crisis when I was in middle school. Had to have them because my friends had them. Instead I got to joke about my “genuine imitation Nikes” from Kmart.

It’s painful for kids that want to fit in because because they don’t have the wider and wiser perspective that most of us do as adults.

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- kiagam@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  Man you have way more faith in adults than I do
  
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- BigTrout75@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  That’s the thing, crap kids are still going to bully.
  
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  - pleaaaaaze@lemmings.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    Pay him self defense lessons. Beating up bullies is cooler than any snaekers
    
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ordnance_qf_17_pounder@reddthat.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
I got bullied in school for having reasonably priced shoes instead of Nike Air Max. Kids are pathetic.

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hawgietonight@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Pre-teen is the worst age for this. Just try to get your kid past this the best you can. Happens everywhere, eventually they will mature and learn.

Heck, this is always the plot in school movies.

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pleaaaaaze@lemmings.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Buy him a crowbar.

Ultimate tool against bullying

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- AoxoMoxoA@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  An old steel rod car antenna is the ultimate. All you have to do is slice the air a few times and the sound alone will keep everyone away
  
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CaptPretentious@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Kids are very materialistic.

When I was in middle school, I was probably the worst for me with the bullying. I came from a family that didn’t have a whole lot of money. Like even the cheap stuff we had to cut corners with. And well I was fully aware, that there was no real difference between what I had and what they had, it didn’t stop the consistent bullying. And the teachers never cared. The other students didn’t care in fact some of them would chime in too. And when that’s your life for several hours a day 5 days a week… You eventually just get to a breaking point.

I’ll never forget the day I basically had a complete emotional breakdown because we were doing back to school shopping at Target, and I saw one of those trapper keepers. With a weird designs on the outside. They were all the rage. And it was like eight bucks I think. My mom did end up buying it for me, but only because her soon-to-be 5th grader, collapsed in the isle crying. I don’t remember what I told her, but all I could think about was having that was going to make life just a little bit easier for me.

Kids can be real assholes to other kids.

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- EnsignWashout@startrek.website ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  I’m sorry you went through that. I’m glad you got your trapper keeper, though.
  
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NewNewAugustEast@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
At all the schools my kids went to… Nobody cares. The kids really don’t give a shit what other kids are wearing. In some ways it’s bizarre given that wasn’t the case when I was a kid. But in many ways it’s great. I rarely ever hear of bullying, kids just are themselves.

Of course thats woke, because they actually speak to the kids and tell them to consider others and will not tolerate intolerance. So I expect schools like this are few and far between.

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- Wazowski@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  Same for my kids’ school.
  
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FireWire400@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
I always had Chucks, not because I didn’t wanna get teased mind you I just thought they were cool.

But man, they never really lasted that long. One to one and a half years of daily use, and they doubled in price in the last ~15 years (which maybe isn’t that much but I feel the quality went down a bit).

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- jordanlund@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  I remember being 4 or 5 back in the 70s, my mom tried to put me in Chucks, I refused to wear them calling them “clown shoes”. LOL.
  
  I feel vindicated.
  
  Image
  
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  - FireWire400@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    Yeah, ever since Nike bought the lot they’ve been a bit mad with the designs…
    
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- Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  I like the style, but yeah. They fall apart faster than wet tissue paper.
  
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  - Omegamanthethird@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    I love my chucks. I have about 10 pair I swap through. But when I was a kid, they didn’t fall apart. They just got dirty and ripped up. Worst case scenario the tops of the side rubber separated a bit or split.
    
    But now, they will completely come apart between the bottoms and the side rubber.
    
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- Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  I remember when high tops were in vogue. Granted, I hung out with kids in the “alternative music” scene, and Vans sponsored Warped Tour so much that “Vans Warped Tour” was just a normal term for us.
  
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  - cheers_queers@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    I just got some Vans Off the Walls a couple months ago and theyre already separating at the seam between the upper and the rubber :(
    
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pHr34kY@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
I rock my Skechers, android phone, basic Casio watch, and drive my 2003 Suzuki.

I spend my money on stuff that works. Not stuff that’s marketed.

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- DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  You must be the coolest kid in middle school.
  
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  - CmdrShepard49@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    Alright alright alright
    
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DancingBear@midwest.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Instead of getting him 300$ shoes give him the choice of the cool shoes or the latest coolest video game or the shoes, or whatever hobby he enjoys…

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SexualPolytope@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
It’s the Apple way.

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SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Teach your kid to kick some teeth out with his Skechers. I have a feeling that your kid is going to get bullied no matter what he wears.

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AA5B@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
The specific request is kind of interesting - when I was a kid, everyone had to wear Nikes or get teased. However for my kids, Nikes were always out.

Fads always come in cycles

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MrSpArkle@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Buy him Hokas and have him tell his friends to eat shit.

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flop_leash_973@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
No matter if you end up getting him a pair or not. Be sure he understands that such things as bullying people for having the “wrong” shoes is shallow clique nonsense and he should be better than that.

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BigTrout75@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Well understood. His Mom was poor and bullied in school. So much so that she brings it up from time to time. She quickly bought him the shoes. I’m going to work on getting him Vans or Hookas in the future.

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Auth@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
My school everyone wore the same uniform. The only choice we could make was shoes or sandals 99.9% chose shoes. Sandal wearers got so much shit for it. It was a death sentence.

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GaMEChld@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Man I went to a very affluent school and no one gave a shit about what sneakers we had. Unless you had Heeley’s of course. ZOOM!

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lime@feddit.nu ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
man, when i was a kid i was bullied for reading at recess, or infodumping about inappropriate stuff, or being bad at running. kids these days are so materialist.

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Truffle@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Good for you. Whenever I get this kind of situation with ny kid I think “Will this matter in five years? Will this purchase break the bank?” If not, I buy/allow/rent whatever and move on. It usually does the trick and I don’t mind if in my mind it sounds ridiculous or exaggerated, It is not about me but whatever they are going through and as long as they get the tools they need, so be it. Kid is very down to earth and doesn’t usually overconsume. The only place where we overspend is the bookstore.

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TammyTobacco@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Now you have to make fun of your kid for being a sheep.

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