That sounds like your kids responded in a way that every karate club against.
Comment on My son got Nikes so he doesn't get teased.
NABDad@lemmy.world 2 days ago
I always knew shoes weren’t going to save my kids from bullying, so I got them karate instead.
The bullying still happened, until they decided it was time for it to stop. Then it stopped.
corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 2 days ago
Cracks_InTheWalls@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
Every serious bullying incident I ran into growing up ended when a kid got popped in the mouth. Every unserious bullying incident made no impact when I knew if it got serious, I could pop them in the mouth and likely come out on top.
I’ve met way too many adults with personality issues that were a product of adults telling child them “physical violence is always wrong, just tell an adult, be the bigger person” etc. It always needs to be taught as a last resort, and it needs to be understood that even justified violence comes with consequences and other tools must be used first, but when you’ve done everything you’re supposed to and no one is helping to the resolve the problem, sometimes you have to do it yourself.
It ain’t pretty, and it ain’t ideal, but it’s the way it is.
Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 days ago
until they decided it was time for it to stop. Then it stopped.
NABDad@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Oldest was told every day he was going to be murdered while walking home. That continued until he dropped his bag and told his bully, “today’s the day, put up or shut up.”
Youngest was blocking a bully to give her friends a chance to get away. He tried to kick her and got the karate demonstration he was asking for.
Middle child was harassed and mocked for five years from Middle School through high school. He spent years begging them to stop, because he didn’t want to hurt them. He finally told his bully he wasn’t going to put up with it anymore and warned him that if he said another word, he was going to punch him in the face. The bully opened his mouth once more, and my son closed it. No one ever said anything again.
Teachers did nothing. Schools did nothing.
Here is the quote they recited in every karate class:
“I come to you with only Karate, Empty Hands. I have no weapons, but should I be forced to defend myself, my principles or my honor, should it be a matter of life or death, of right or wrong, then here are my weapons, Karate, my Empty Hands.”
— Ed Parker
I see no conflict between the teachings and their actions. They have a right to defend themselves against harassment, and if asking for it to stop doesn’t work, escalation is necessary. All the bullies had the opportunity to just walk away. Some took it, some didn’t.
GreyEyedGhost@lemmy.ca 2 days ago
Yeah, the good news is no one has ever suffered permanent damage from verbal abuse, so no problems, right?
And why is physical violence no-tolerance (except when it isn’t) but verbal violence is a-okay?
I’m not saying physical violence is okay, and I never have. In fact, I generally go the other direction, saying that physical violence should be a last resort for solving problems, and that those who use it clearly don’t have better tools to solve their problems. And know which groups is known for not having a lot of experience solving problems? Kids. That’s why we have adults supervising them. And training those kids that verbal violence is okay, and a great way to harass your peers, is, to put it bluntly, pretty fucking stupid. And some of those kids learn that a suspension isn’t that big a deal to some of the kids they bully, which is a hell of a lot better lesson than the adults around them were teaching them.
Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 days ago
PTSD is not permanent damage?
Same for other psychological scars inflicted by constant bullying.
Some may never trust anyone again because they were bullied during childhood.
FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 2 days ago
I don’t have kids, but I do have a brother who is young enough to be my child, and I was very happy when he broke the nose of his bully.
That motherfucker had to learn.
NABDad@lemmy.world 2 days ago
There was some anxiety on my part when my middle child told me he punched his bully in the high school cafeteria. I had felt his punches through a heavy-duty punching shield, and I assumed it would lead to criminal or civil cases. However, when I asked if the bully was ok, he said he pulled the punch.