agent_nycto
@agent_nycto@lemmy.world
- Comment on Why is the progress pride flag so poorly designed (especially the intersex progress pride flag)? Will it be redesigned? 1 day ago:
Seen it, is better, not heraldic, still hate the old one so much. Secret my ass everyone knew what that flag meant
- Comment on Why is the progress pride flag so poorly designed (especially the intersex progress pride flag)? Will it be redesigned? 2 days ago:
- Comment on Why is the progress pride flag so poorly designed (especially the intersex progress pride flag)? Will it be redesigned? 2 days ago:
Why does everyone complain about the progress flag when the poly flag is right there and is terrible? Absolute garbage. Terrible color choices. Barely holds up to heraldic color rules. and Pi? Seriously? Get out of here you fucking nerd. 2/10, workshop it and come back. I hate it.
I’m cool with poly people, this is just the flag equivalent of biting your tongue when eating a burrito.
- Comment on What do you think the solution to selling progressive politics to young men is ? 3 days ago:
I agree with you for the most part, but there is a thread you missed.
While there might not be a significant leftist media personality which says misandrist things, there are a lot of smaller people who do. There’s an air of “men are not welcome here, specifically cishet men” in lefty spaces. And people who try to speak out against it tend to be ousted. (Case study Erin Pizzey) There wouldn’t be a demand for “male tears” mugs out there if there wasn’t a demand for them.
Whether you think this behavior is acceptable or not, it doesn’t make the left seem appealing to young men, especially because it’s not called out by people.
But yeah, the top down media? A huge machine that’s a problem. The left will have a hard time replicating it, especially because when you live in hyper capitalism, it’s not really in the benefit of capitalists to try to fix it.
- Comment on What do you think the solution to selling progressive politics to young men is ? 4 days ago:
I don’t think that’s inherently true for all feminism, though there’s definitely been some bad actors. Actresses.
- Comment on What do you think the solution to selling progressive politics to young men is ? 4 days ago:
Depends on what part of the left you’re talking about, but yeah, these are things which have to change in order for it to work well.
- Comment on What do you think the solution to selling progressive politics to young men is ? 4 days ago:
Thanks, I’m glad you liked it!
I kinda agree on your points. I feel that working class heros could make a comeback if done well, though.
Hell ideally I’d like to see more historical stuff based on labor history, Blair Mountain was crazy and could totally be an action movie.
- Comment on What do you think the solution to selling progressive politics to young men is ? 4 days ago:
l feel that the acceptance of LGBT people has actually had a beneficial effect on cishet men in ways most people aren’t aware of.
Dating is a good example. Traditionally the guy asks the girl out and pays for everything. This system sucks. It means men feel desperate and have to prove their worth (financial and otherwise) feeling lonely and worthless and women are stuck with the constant stream of guys trying to hit on them, dealing with harassment and worse.
But with more acceptance of homosexual relationships, that traditional method of dating doesn’t apply. The old “but who’s the guy” confusion goes away, and people as a whole realize that it’s stupid. If you see a post about a woman insisting a guy pays for everything or a guy insisting on ordering for his date they seem old fashioned and weirdly demanding. Most people wouldn’t bat an eye about a girl asking a guy out on a date now, and I’ll bet there’s some old newspaper headlines about some lady doing that in the past.
By your nature you’re helping to break down these dysfunctional systems and it’s actually helping people, so thanks a lot for that!
- Comment on What do you think the solution to selling progressive politics to young men is ? 4 days ago:
I mean, if you really were the ultimate nihilist, you wouldn’t have a problem with manliness because it wouldn’t matter anyway.
- Comment on What do you think the solution to selling progressive politics to young men is ? 5 days ago:
Look at what men are missing and how the right is selling it to them.
Men aren’t doing so hot right now, emotionally and mentally. They feel like they are not manly, and criticized for trying to be manly or liking manly things. There’s a lack of transitions into manhood, and the bar that is seen as a successful man with a good career is pretty much impossible.
If you have a poor paying job, you’re not manly. If you have a well paying job but it’s blue collar you’re not manly because you’re a dumb working stiff. If you have a white collar job you’re not manly because you’re not doing anything tough with your body. Maybe if you’re a CEO who owns the company but also does rock climbing and bear fighting are you seen as manly enough, maybe.
Then you have these guys, your Andrew Tates and so on, who act very manly and tell you it’s ok to be a man and then spout off some of the most toxic, asinine shit saying that’s how you be a man. And young guys fall for it because they aren’t shown any alternative.
Then on the left you have people who speak ill of men as a whole, and manliness as a whole. Sometimes the criticisms are correct, but a lot of times it’s presented as men overall. If you try to say that it’s not every man out there who’s a monster, you get blasted with criticism for saying “not all men”. They also don’t provide anything positive or solutions for feeling manly, with the best they can be offered is to be more like women.
So young men, especially young cishet men, are actively pushed away from leftist spaces, leaving them feeling demonized by those spaces, and actively pandered to by the right which are offering mind poison dressed up as solutions.
So what do we do? There’s a few things to fix.
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leftist media has to stop demonizing men and start demonizing actions. Instead of saying “men are rapists” start saying “rapists are bad”. When people start to say things like “cis people are shit” other people need to call them out of it, because if you’re supposed to be the side that accepts people’s gender identity, it should be for all gender identities. It can feel cathartic to rail against the majority demographic, especially when people of that demographic have hurt you, but if you feel that it’s unfair to rail against a group because of the actions of a few members of it, that should apply to all groups. Things like “what’s wrong with the straights” doesn’t help build bonds with allies, and it turns young men away from leftist spaces.
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there needs to be validation and recognition from the left for problems men have, like suicide, workplace death and heavier prison sentencing. The left needs to show that they are trying to fix these problems, too, instead of telling young men to suck it up and be a man about it because they are the oppressor demographic.
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there needs to be people who counter toxic masculinity, not with telling men to be more like women, but with positive masculinity. If a man is having emotional or mental problems, toxic masculinity says to push that down. Femininity says it’s ok to be soft and vulnerable. Positive masculinity would say that a real man is true to himself and his feelings and expresses then freely, even if others might ridicule him for it. There’s a subtle difference, and the end result of femininity’s and positive masculinity’s tactic might be the same, i.e. the man expresses those feelings, but the way that they get there is very different. The former makes the man feel less validated in his identity, while the latter uplifts it. The memes where they say stuff like “I always tell my homies I love them before they go to bed” actually work.
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leftist influencers need to make fighting for the rights of minorities seem manly. Badass. Like a hero. Worthy of praise and celebration.
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while they won’t get the financial and political backing that the toxic male influencers get, there needs to be positive male influencers who talk about masculinity in a positive way, while promoting the ideas above. There needs to be an alternative, who acts manly but in the fun, positive way, that validates young men’s feelings of inadequacy, frustration, and isolation, while promoting an egalitarian perspective.
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there needs to be a cultural shift in what makes a man. A shift away from dying in battle or becoming a tycoon, and a resurgence of the working class hero. Mass media itself needs to change and promote positive male figures. It can work and be popular, like in Avatar the Last Airbender. We need to show men that they are still men, and still worthy of love, respect and adoration, even if they aren’t a super soldier or a wealthy elite. A lot of this is counter to capitalistic goals, so it may have to be subversive, but eventually it needs to be made the norm.
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other men need to continue to step up and speak out about injustice towards minorities and against toxic masculinity behaviors in the day to day, and start decrying those behaviors as unmanly. People need to call Andrew Tate and the like unmanly.
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ideally, the men’s rights movement should be absorbed by the left and the toxic incels kicked out. It should be done in the name of gender equality. Fixing only woman’s problems won’t solve the patriarchy (which could be changed to a different term so everyone feels like it’s less of an us vs them) and feminists should try to help solve men’s problems directly rather than indirectly. Young men would see feminism as more appealing if feminists actually focused on men’s problems as well, rather than ignoring or worse, demonizing them. Feminism could be rebranded as an egalitarian movement for all sexes and genders, maybe get a name change. If the patriarchy affects everyone, then the focus should be on everyone. Maybe it would have to be a whole new movement entirely.
So it’s a larger problem than just getting more leftist male influencers, and some of those problems are systematic. Some can get worked on today. Talking about masculinity in a positive way, promotive equity, stop both their side and your side from bigotry, and, probably the thing that would get young men on board the most:
Actually trying to solve the problems young men are going through.
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- Comment on "And my dick fucks your wife more than you do. What's your point?" 2 weeks ago:
Heh, amateur hour. Let me show you my watch.
- Comment on [deleted] 2 weeks ago:
Why does it upset you?
- Comment on The first weekly What Are You Playing? thread! 2 weeks ago:
Finished playing through Atomic Heart, and because of that wanted to play a game that was, you know, actually fun instead of a miserable slog, so I’ve been playing Crab Champions and playing the original BioShock again for the millionth time. Sometimes Sea of Thieves.
- Comment on Can deliberate noise harassment still be a crime if it's done every day from 7:30 AM till 10:30-11:30 PM? 2 weeks ago:
Some people can’t afford to just move, like if they are dealing with cancer, for example.
- Comment on Cheers lads an lassies 4 weeks ago:
Droopy McCool
- Comment on The USA spends $15k/student annually which is 30% higher than the global median. Why do U.S. schools have "fundraisers" where kids are incentivized to sell stuff to people? 4 weeks ago:
Well I’d reckon that that 15k is an average. Rich kid schools don’t need fundraising but poor districts do. Oh yeah and the funding for schools comes from local districts so if you live in a rich neighborhood your school is way more funded than if you live in the poor areas, which is why people are obsessed with that info if they have kids and want to move.
Also not all departments get the same funding. The football team gets a lot of the budget but the arts get scraps at best. So even if you’re in an ok school, because of how they spend the money, specific classes might need help.
Why the football team? The games bring in money, people donate because of the local team, and the odd lottery that one of those kids becomes a professional and might help out in the future.
- Comment on Is it weird to juggle in the park? 1 month ago:
On posts like these, the question to ask yourself is “if I saw a video on the Internet of someone being a dick to a person doing this thing, would they look like an asshole?” If the answer is yes, then it’s fine to do.
- Comment on The hills are alive with the sound of music! 🎶🎵 1 month ago:
TIL this waterfalls want to get nasty
- Comment on If I snapped you back in time 650 years right this very second, how would you use your current knowledge to succeed? 1 month ago:
My comment was meant for a totally different post my bad
- Comment on How would you run a society? 1 month ago:
Oh man that’ll be rough, a lot of tech we have is because we have tech from the past. So it’ll be kinda like a Dr Stone situation but without the obnoxious main character.
- Comment on How would you run a society? 1 month ago:
I think a lot of this hinges on what the one million humans are like. You said in another comment you were thinking of them to be mind blanked, but wasn’t sure.
So do these people have their memories? Are they from our earth? Do I get to pick and choose who I can take there? Are they clones or the original?
This can really change what the answer would be and how someone would go about answering your question.
- Comment on Anon pitches the next big movie adaptation of a video game 1 month ago:
Sweet baby Jesus I can see this whole thing in my head every time I read it, these previews are so cookie cutter it’s insane
- Comment on They do this so you will stare at it and increase the accuracy of your aim 2 months ago:
Is that paper?
- Comment on What is anti-propaganda? 2 months ago:
I feel like the word propaganda gets a little misused. There’s so much negativity attached to it, but propaganda at it’s core is media that tries to persuade someone. So media trying to undo misinformation about COVID is also propaganda.
- Comment on [deleted] 2 months ago:
You are suffering from several fallacies.
- “Unless you can be the best, it’s not worth trying”
Fortunately, the world doesn’t operate this way. There are people who are mediocre, and sometimes poor, at playing football professionally or other professions. Your line of thinking would lead to only one person playing football at a time, the person who is the best at it, and everyone else should give up.
- “Meritocracy is real and the only determining factor of success”
While meritocracy is a nice thought, that the best inevitably rise to the top, it’s not necessarily true. Just as there’s circumstances that keep talent from succeeding, like financial background, biases against people, and luck, those things also can lift up the less talented. There’s many celebrities that aren’t as talented at acting as someone stuck in a small town.
- “I trust OP’s assessment”
As far as you know, op could be wrong. Maybe the kid plays great and OP is too critical, you don’t know. This could be a critical mistake on OP’s end, and making the kid give up doesn’t help regardless.
- “hard work doesn’t mean success, innate ability is the only thing that matters”
If this were true, no one would need to practice anything. You said Mozart succeeded because of his mentoring, but then argue for people having lack of natural talent leading to failure.
- “my back story is relevant”
It was also tempting to throw in the argument of verbosity. But your shoulder injury, or that some people are incapable of physically doing things, isn’t relevant. The kid is physically capable of playing football. It’s a false equivalence.
- “the kid will have the same level of ability at 16 forever”
You presume that this kid will only have the ability he is at, and that even with training, won’t get better. This ties into your belief in natural talent a bit, but it’s still pretty foolish to assume professional football players play at the level they did at 16, so it’s also foolish to assume that 16 is where this kid will peak.
- “the kid achieving the dream is the most important thing here”
This is where you missed the the bigger picture. There’s more on the line than just success at football, there’s a whole relationship at stake, and a kid’s mental and emotional health.
So that all said, look at it this way. There’s four scenarios that could’ve taken place, with four factors. Kid gets encouraged, let’s shorthand that to E. Kid gets discouraged, D. Kid succeeds at professional football, S. Kid fails at professional football, F.
ES is obviously the best. Kid gets support, becomes professional football player, everyone’s happy.
EF is disappointing, but salvageable. The kid gets the attitude of not giving up and at least Dad has his back. Maybe he tries something else after not making the cut, and has a great career at something he’s able to do, but at least he tried. He’s not going to be able to try forever, but he can at least try something new with a solid foundation.
DS is a tragic hero. Kid gets there but doesn’t have a great relationship with Dad. Success is tainted by bitterness, and every win is to prove Dad wrong. Doesn’t have a great relationship with Dad, and probably has a lasting issue because of it.
DF is the worst possible outcome, and at this point it’s the most likely. Kid has an even worse issue with Dad, dreams are crushed, and he grows up bitter and resentful. He’s taught to not try for anything he’s interested in, and lives a life of miserable mediocrity.
It’s my opinion that it’s better for parents to encourage their children in their dreams, because the success rate is probably higher and at the very least they get the support they need to try something different. It’s almost never a great idea to discourage a child because that leads to resentment and lethargy.
You aren’t saving anyone by telling them to give up. That’s a decision they should make on their own. This is even more true for a child who is still developing who they are and how they see the world.
- Comment on [deleted] 2 months ago:
How? You’re saying it’s better to tell your kid their dreams suck and they shouldn’t try? What a great parenting strategy.
- Comment on [deleted] 2 months ago:
When you punish a person for dreaming his dream, don’t expect him to thank our forgive you.
He’s right, you don’t believe in him, and if he’s not great at football even though he’s living with a pro, that shows me how little you value him. He could be great but what are you doing to help him get there besides crushing his dreams?
If you want to salvage this relationship at all you need to apologize and do everything you can to support him. Training, encouragement, the works.
It’s better that he tries to achieve his dream and have to do something else than to have it crushed out of him by his own father.
- Comment on What open-world games on Steam have satisfying movement, like Arkham Knight or Spider-Man? 2 months ago:
Not quite open world but I really like the movement in Crab Champions
- Comment on What are some lesser-known obscure TV series that went under the radar, that you would recommend? 2 months ago:
The soundtrack alone is worth it
- Comment on Why aren't there mass protests in the USA? 2 months ago:
You’re ignorant of the world around you to a degree that must take quite a bit of mental effort. The mental gymnastics you’re constantly doing must be a strain. If you honestly think that no one has ever been arrested nor killed by the police for doing things legally you’re delusional.
