Ok lots of good advice and comments but let me simplify this for you a bit more.
If you trust your partner let them handle their family, trust what they say about them. If you cant, it ups the chance of break up because she is already stressed.
Unless you suspect you are the other dude or in danger stay out of it no matter how curious you are. There is literally a community full of stories like this and it always back fires when people get involved too early.
Kyrgizion@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
If she knows the backlash will be insane and she still has to live there, totally understandable. Make sure you’re aligned on where to go with this in the future. If she truly wants to choose a life with you she may have to break with her family at some point. You can’t expect her to be ready for that at this time, but you also shouldn’t be strung along if she never sees an actual future with you. Good relationships require honesty on both sides and great communication.