And they’re fake hikers and travelers too. I met somebody irl who said one of their interests was eating food but they just go to the places for the vibes and not for the food. Whereas I’m the complete opposite, I would go to a crack den for the best food.
Anon tries dating apps
Submitted 3 weeks ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to greentext@sh.itjust.works
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/414f8091-4587-4541-8794-1cc5d5c0b09b.jpeg
Comments
pineapplelover@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
Burghler@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
A date I had said their hobbies were walking and hiking among other things. Our 1st date was at a local park with a 20 step stair case that took her out… It was my first exposure to this bizarre labelling that goes on here.
There wasn’t a 2nd lol
terranoid@lemmy.cafe 3 weeks ago
Humans are just animals at the end of the day. This is all a sexual display of fitness. Hiking and traveling tell people you’re physically and financially fit. You can move around no issue. You are social. You are socially and physically healthy.
They lie a ton and show pics of hiking from 5 years ago and act like they can still do all that. Or they never could and the pics are deceiving… Regardless, it’s just a game all genders are playing to show sexual fitness. It looks like carbon copies because it’s the best way to communicate “my body moves well and I can afford luxury”.
swelter_spark@reddthat.com 3 weeks ago
I love walking and hiking, but having to walk uphill takes me out, too
BorgDrone@feddit.nl 3 weeks ago
mycodesucks@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
swipes right
iocase@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
The best food is usually in places like that too. My home city has this literal hole in a wall mexican place. You know it’s good when it’s also a grocery store and nobody speaks good English except for the kids. Best fucking food I’ve ever had and I’m gutted because they closed down 6 months later and I don’t know if they moved or went out of business 😭😭😭
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
amen brother.
best places to eat are the places with no white people.
pineapplelover@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
There’s this bengali place I love that is also a grocery store. It’s so epic
SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Best Chinese food I’ve had was in a legit city basement.
ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Best philly cheesesteak I’ve ever had was from a hospital cafeteria.
mbp@slrpnk.net 3 weeks ago
They do be trifflin
HerbGrower@slrpnk.net 3 weeks ago
Ohh a group of my friends has someone like that. Although everyone has been getting increasingly distant from her as she won’t turn up to anything that isn’t fancy enough for her, and there is an increasing feeling that she only ever messages us when she doesn’t have anything else she would rather do going on - we hear from her much more when she is unemployed and single.
coolie4@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
What’s this “Helen Keller wasn’t real” meme? First time I’m hearing it
jdr@lemmy.ml 3 weeks ago
Neither has she, lololol
jaybone@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
I don’t get it.
Is it because she’s dead?
Zorcron@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
Just a dumb conspiracy theory where people either think a) she wasn’t actually blind and deaf, or b) she didn’t actually write the books she wrote and shrugs everything she achieved.
Leviathan@fedinsfw.app 2 weeks ago
Goes perfectly well to match the stupidity of a populus who commonly has “likes to go to church” in their profiles. OP must live somewhere MAGA-ey.
dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 3 weeks ago
“Hellen Keller wasn’t real” is an immediate swipe away from a profile. I don’t care if they’re joking or if they’re actually a nut job conspiracy theorist. If the latter, obviously we’re not gonna vibe, and if the former, that entire joke/line of thinking is prefaced on ableism and the idea that a deaf and blind woman could not have accomplished what she did, not to mention the erasure of a prominent socialist, suffragist, and activist. I fucking hate that joke.
HonoraryMancunian@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
This is the first I’ve ever heard about it, and I’m so confused
dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 3 weeks ago
It started as a joke, and now there are actual people who believe that she was either not a real person, or that her accomplishments were faked. People with disabilities are already assumed to be lesser than able bodied people, and this particular trend is stripping away one of the most prominent examples to the contrary. It is also erasing one of the most prominent examples of a famous socialist woman in American history, and a southern American socialist woman at that. Her story is amazing, but more importantly, she is historically significant. She is an example to so many people, and she has been liberal-washed for a century, and now she’s being erased entirely. It’s disgusting.
jaybone@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
I guess this is another moon landing flat earth sovereign citizen thing.
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
mycodesucks@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
A VERY prominent and UNAPOLOGETIC socialist. The way history has defanged her turned her into a simpleton who learned to speak is an absolute appalling insult to the strong, principled woman she was.
dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 3 weeks ago
Exactly! She’s one of my favorite historical figures, but when if she wasn’t, even if our politics did not align so well, she does not deserve to swept into the dustbin like this, liberal washed and eventually erased entirely. It’s disgusting.
solidheron@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Doesn’t matter had sex.
Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
>Why can’t I get a partner by sitting alone in my room and swiping?
>This must be the fault of women
ramble81@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
You know, I’m very much for equality, but in this situation a woman can do exactly that and get loads of dates.
It’s the initial connection that is the highest barrier for men, after that, yeah, kinda need to leave the house to get a partner.
parrhesia@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
I think its cuz there is a lot more men there then women
AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Sparrow_1029@programming.dev 3 weeks ago
Years ago, a friend of mine once had: “Seeking partner skilled in armed combat for the coming apocalypse. Must not be averse to cannibalism” as their bio.
Got 'em a couple DMs I think
solidheron@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Yeah that sounds like a fun person
Malyca@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
Dating apps are the worst, the absolute worst, way to meet people. I met my husband in a chat room and that’s fucking awful right? Dating apps are worse. Go on blind dates, set your friends up, go and scream in the middle of a park, all of those are better than dating apps. Humans don’t work like catalogues.
Banana@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
go and scream in the middle of a park
I see you use the bird method
CascadianGiraffe@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
If I see someone attractive screaming in a park they probably have my attention.
Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
He’s got a point about carbon copy profiles, they all blur together after a while, and it’s very difficult to find something interesting to talk about in a lot of them.
Burghler@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
“fostering men until they find their forever homes.”
I see this one at least 10 times a day.
hirihit640@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
I know it’s meant to be positive but gives me horror to me, like Hansel and Gretel
Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
I have a suspicion it’s one of the default prompts. Or they’re just asking an AI or something.
reksas@sopuli.xyz 3 weeks ago
at least “designed to be deleted” part of it is truthful. Nothing else to be done with that garbage program.
solidheron@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Lol it’s so enshitified it’s designed to be deleted
TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Hinge, Tinder, OkCupid, Plenty Of Fish and others are owned by one giant company called Match.com. You are not ugly, a monopoly just puts you down the pile by algorithm to prompt you to pay to increase your chances of more likes (that’s not to say that making your profile look good doesn’t matter). There are independent dating apps like Coffee and Bagel and Bumble, but either those apps don’t have many people or copying Match’s anti-consumer behaviour like Bumble does.
ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Can Lemmy be used for dating?
captainlezbian@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
That really depends: are you looking for a nerdy man who lacks social skills or are you t4t and super online? If so, yeah probably. If not, feel free to try
GardenGeek@europe.pub 3 weeks ago
There’s Alovoa… an open source platform but it’s even less densely populated than Lemmy
Allero@lemmy.today 3 weeks ago
I bet someone did just that and succeeded
vivalapivo@lemmy.today 3 weeks ago
Dating apps belong to a trash can. Hobby is the best place to find a partner. Go to a local meet up to play board games, hike, cycle, jam, improv, debate or whatever. The only way left in the modern world
Skullgrid@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Hobby is the best place to find a partner.
no it fucking isn’t. I can 100% guarantee the nerds reading this that your wife isn’t going to appear in the progressive metal moshpit, the netrunner tournament or the climbing center…
well I mean, that last one has a chance of happening, but don’t hit on women where they exercise for fuck sake. Also, Disregard females, acquire ascents.
Texas_Hangover@lemmy.radio 3 weeks ago
I’m into ham radios. Do you have any idea how long it’s been since I’ve seen a woman?
mycodesucks@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Yeah… “Join a hobby group” is the the go-to answer for people who are completely devoid of ideas but still want to feel helpful.
Honestly, I think there’s something to be said for going back to “little old lady in the community who matches up young singles.”
Gullible@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
I dunno, I’ve met people through my hobby, including my current partner. It’s sporadic but eh. The internet is a cesspit.
MountingSuspicion@reddthat.com 3 weeks ago
Maybe there’s some geographical or cultural differences, but I can say for sure that hobbies is a perfectly normal place to meet women in my area of the US. I have dated plenty of people I’ve met through hobbies.
Also I think there’s a difference between picking up a woman at a gym vs picking them up at a running or biking meetup. I think just like with anything else, there are inappropriate ways to do it, but it’s not socially unacceptable from my understanding whereas gym pickups really are.
vivalapivo@lemmy.today 3 weeks ago
hit on women where they exercise for fuck sake
Women can say fuck off to me for themselves
KuroiKaze@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I don’t know almost every couple I know met because they were at something that they both were interested in. If all your hobbies include absolutely zero women, then maybe you should have a real long look at yourself And take a chance on some stuff that’s outside your comfort zone. There’s nothing of value that can be gained without challenge.
Fleppensteijn@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Depends where you live. In my current city there are almost no women going to those kinds of meetups and the city I grew up in is so dead there just aren’t any events like that.
vivalapivo@lemmy.today 3 weeks ago
Date men then
FunnySalt@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
I met my soon to be wife on a dating app. You might think from that opening sentence that I’m about to extol the virtues of dating apps. I am not. They are garbage, so I agree the trash can is the best place.
This was during covid lockdowns, so no social opportunities, and I had recently moved to a new area and didn’t know anyone nearby. So seemed the only option, terrible as it is. And yeah it worked out for me, but that’s beating the odds. It was an unpleasant experience and was thrilled to be done with it.
Prior to that, I attended a lot of meetups via meetup.com and had a fair bit of luck dating through that. And regardless of if I met someone or not at any given, I had fun.
HerbGrower@slrpnk.net 3 weeks ago
Walking, cycling and making jam are all things I do on my own tough
CascadianGiraffe@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
If I found a girl in my garden I would assume she was fae and be most suspicious.
PrimeMinisterKeyes@leminal.space 3 weeks ago
Flea markets, anyone? There are several big ones in my area, occurring regularly. I go several times a year and it’s always so much fun when I do. And it’s very easy to chat people up.
AlteredEgo@lemmy.ml 3 weeks ago
Dating apps should be publicly funded like a kind of public utility. And private dating apps heavily regulated and prevented from advertising.
Like water and air, love should not be for profit.
starelfsc2@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
We need 3rd spaces, online dating is just worse in general. People meet at trading card places and card shops because that’s just where people hang out, but that doesn’t exist anywhere else really besides bars.
People are becoming more isolated and more online, it’s way easier to see if you like someone (and you’ll be exposed to many people) if they happen to be in your vicinity rather than typing in text on a dating app.
CultLeader4Hire@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Probably just messaging fake accounts/bots to make it look like women use the app but then real women get the flack for it
k0e3@lemmy.ca 3 weeks ago
I honestly can’t afford to lose my wife because there’s no way I would find another partner in the modern dating scene. I feel like the bar is way higher than it was in the early 2000s.
taygaloocat@leminal.space 3 weeks ago
I do find that dating apps make me feel sexist. I have to remind myself that the women on Hinge are not representative of the female populace, otherwise I get bitter.
5190tent@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
From multiple apps Hinge actually worked out the best for me despite having some traits that aren’t ideal for dating apps (short, unemployed, autistic). The algorithm adapts quite quickly to what you like so I see mostly alternative people, nature friends and scientists. I’ve been using it for a few weeks and out of my 7 matches 5 were biologists.
The dude is right tho about sending likes and comments being useless, every match I got was from women liking me first. But that’s where Hinge is better than other dating apps: you see who liked you without having to pay.
pH3ra@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
I spent years getting frustrated on the apps, now I’m ending up marrying my best friend’s sister who I’ve known for 16 years and I was always too afraid to ask out. Turned out she was feeling the same way.
Life’s weird when you’re socially awkward.MutantTailThing@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Helen Keller wasn’t real
wat
NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Reminded me of a terrible joke.
Why couldn’t Hellen Keller drive a car?
Because she was a woman.
TheSlad@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
I had a similar experience with hinge after a 7-year long relationship fell apart. The most vapid, basic profiles devoid of any individual personality. I think the way hinge does their profiles leads to that. I eventually gave up and instead of trying a different app, i just realized that I like being single.
Instead of spending my time swiping on basic bitches, I took up painting, hiking, got back into practicing my instruments again and joined the local symphony and a celtic fiddle group, became more active in niche online spaces and made a ton of friends there, etc.
At this point I honeslty can’t even imagine inviting a woman into my life and being beholden to her whims and expectations 🤷🏼♂️
sidebro@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
At some point I think they were designed to be deleted but there’s more money in the opposite. Somewhere along the road, they realized and made a shift and they got shitty.
FavouriteShapes@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Wait what??
Is “thinks Helen Keller wasn’t real” a new mainstream thing???
SillyDude@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
What does hiking and traveling even mean? I’m nomadic and spend most of my time hiking. The only people doing the same are retired 60+. I never see anyone my age on trails, camping, being nomadic. I’ve literally never met someone my age or younger who’s a functioning tramp. In the last year I’ve only met one couple in a schoolie who were <50.
darthelmet@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
and think Helen Keller wasn’t real
wat? I’m not on any dating apps, is this a real conspiracy theory people believe?
Psythik@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
The woman I am going to marry is the kind of person that would never use a dating app. Literally the same week I gave up on online dating, she asked me out at work.
Never had success trying to meet girls on the internet. Sometimes you just have to get lucky and hopefully there’s someone attractive who is interested in you wherever you work/study/hang out.
atro_city@fedia.io 3 weeks ago
Dating apps are brutal for men, especially 4channers.
AppleTea@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
I’d love to hear someone who thinks Helen Keller wasn’t real describe what they think the late 1800s was like.
ClockworkOtter@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
It worked around COVID time - I matched a few people and met my partner on it. It did get bought out soon after though.
httperrorcode@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
dating app companies have different incentives than you, and you cant afford to pay them enough to align the two. I think this is inevitable and it always greatly surprises me when people actually find love over these apps
Rooskie91@discuss.online 3 weeks ago
Tinder, Azar, Her, Hinge, match.com, meetic, Ok Cupid, Plent of Fish, and The League are all owned by a single company.
The ratio of women to men on their dating apps are also wack.
cannedtuna@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Good lord they own basically all the major ones.
Also all the different “X People Meet” apps, but no Linux People Meet? 😭 /s
Burghler@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
We meet here bro 😘
pmk@piefed.ca 3 weeks ago
I met my girlfriend on IRC, we’ve been living together for 7 years now. She was trolling people with goatse pics and we started talking about philosophy and poetry etc and then it turned out that she’s a super cute canadian girl. This is usually not the story we tell people when they ask how we met.
mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Tbh, isn’t that just Alovoa? I had never heard of it until I saw it on FDroid
boonhet@sopuli.xyz 3 weeks ago
Are you sure there’s no transfemme one?
wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 3 weeks ago
How is that not an anti-trust issue? Each one started as an independent company trying to add value by bringing something new to the table, and they bought them all up to eliminate the competition and enshittified them all with the same profit-gouging algorithms.
Not to mention the concerted effort they made to make in-person dating a social taboo so that everyone literally depends on the dating apps to find potential partners.
Back before I gave up on dating, when I was still on reddit, I can’t tell you how many times I heard the same advice. “Don’t approach people in person, nobody wants to be bothered. Just use the apps where you know they want to be approached.”
That with the systematic minimization of the shittiness of the apps, and the victim blaming “just work on yourself bro, you must be a shit person if you can’t find a partner, so you’d find a partner if you could just stop being a shit person.”
Looking back, I wonder how much of that was astroturfing by the Match Group marketing department…
Banana@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
This makes total sense!
I met my husband on Tinder in 2014, 3 years before consolidation in 2017. When I was using it it was only a joint venture with Match Group
I also had some success before 2014 on okcupid (initially owned by IAC which used to contain Match Group and has since separated from match group but Match group kept OkCupid) and POF (sold in 2015 to Match Group)
Makes sense to me why I had a way different experience on dating websites back when I was single compared to my single friends now.
ramble81@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
Feeld is there too. Their matching and like system is very much weighted towards paying not-cheap monthly prices.
87Six@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
Fun fact: you can probably guess the ethnicity of Spencer Rascoff, the CEO of Match Group.