Halp my pp is haunted.
Demon slayer
Submitted 4 days ago by stumu415@lemmy.zip to [deleted]
https://lemmy.zip/pictrs/image/e03d2e7f-902b-42da-95fe-d3e0e158a8ba.avif
Comments
TheEighthDoctor@lemmy.zip 3 days ago
Who the fuck was the snitch!
RagingRobot@lemmy.world 3 days ago
No one said she was in any kind of trouble for it. I think this is just marketing
w3ird_sloth@lemmy.world 3 days ago
My wife, unfortunately.
Noite_Etion@lemmy.world 4 days ago
tetris11@feddit.uk 4 days ago
What’s fellti?
Lumidaub@feddit.org 4 days ago
That’s a grown-up thing, you’ll learn soon enough.
Noite_Etion@lemmy.world 4 days ago
It’s supposed to read fellatio, but whoever captioned this tried to censor it, was just the only option I found in my 30 second search for this image.
AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 3 days ago
I think it’s a kind of pasta
Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 days ago
Probably some Italian sauce or something. /j
Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 4 days ago
And where would one find this repugnant den of heretical iniquity? So one can avoid it, of course.
smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 3 days ago
Post nut
claritysanctity.adam_y@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Big fan of your work here. Well done.
aeronmelon@lemmy.world 4 days ago
A photo of the church is more than enough for geoguessers to figure it out.
toofpic@lemmy.world 4 days ago
And said geoguessers are already in heaven
jaybone@lemmy.zip 3 days ago
Preface: I’m not good at this.
That doesn’t look like most church style architecture in most of the US, unless it’s in the North East / New England maybe? It almost looks more European. Also a female pastor wearing a collar like that seems unusual for the US. (Maybe Episcopalians do this? Not sure.) maybe these pics don’t even go together. I might guess that shockingly this whole story is fake.
EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com 3 days ago
Hey, try not to slay any demons on the way through the parking lot!
Disgruntledbeaver2@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
37?!
hypeerror@sh.itjust.works 2 days ago
In a row?!
clucose@lemmy.ml 3 days ago
She practiced, did she get better?
M0oP0o@mander.xyz 3 days ago
I don’t know, how good could she have been at it to be found out? Like if this was voluntary why would anyone give up free secret oral sex? If it was not voluntary then… Church things.
DragonOracleIX@lemmy.ml 3 days ago
Could also be one of the guys ratting her out after feeling guilty about going through with it.
wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 3 days ago
Um hi I have a demon
KneeTitts@lemmy.world 3 days ago
My friend Jim… he also has a, demon, in him. ya.
OleFoFa@lemmy.world 3 days ago
To whom ut may concern: my two demons are starting to bicker amongst themselves and they are no longer welcome. Any aid in having them displaced is welcome.
AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 4 days ago
That’s just the next thing you do when praying the gay away doesn’t work.
mechoman444@lemmy.world 2 days ago
As an atheist I’ve suddenly realized that there is a demon living in my penis.
Send help. Specifically this pastor.
pulsey@feddit.org 2 days ago
No worries, the pope is on the way.
Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf 3 days ago
Demons hate this little trick.
Snapz@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Demons hate this little
trickprick.
huey_m@reddthat.com 3 days ago
There, you see? The Catholic Church was simply about saving the children.
TheStaffmaster@lemmy.world 3 days ago
EVERY SPERM IS SAAACRED, EVERY SPERM IS GREAAAAAAT!!!
ieGod@lemmy.zip 3 days ago
Close, but the catholics are misogynist enough that women cannot be pastors.
SethTaylor@lemmy.world 3 days ago
🎶 There’s a devil in my dick And some demons in my semen 🎶
ramius345@sh.itjust.works 3 days ago
youtu.be/tX23qUNslJA great song.
slingstone@lemmy.world 3 days ago
I’m hearing this to the tune of “Keep Your Hands to Yourself” by the Georgia Satellites.
solidheron@sh.itjust.works 3 days ago
We have female pastors now?
rotkehle@feddit.org 3 days ago
I had a female pastor in my church almost 30 years ago. so yes we have female pastors for a while now.
solidheron@sh.itjust.works 3 days ago
Well shiiiiiiiiiit, id assume feminism would make leaps and bounds to gain gender integration in these old institutions
bennypr0fane@discuss.tchncs.de 4 days ago
I’m sure you have to be a bespoke faithful to receive that service
lightnsfw@reddthat.com 4 days ago
If I knew there were bjs to be had I’d have been willing to give church a shot. The few times I went there it was just a crabby old man reading his storybook to everyone.
ChanchoManco@lemmy.zip 3 days ago
If you give the church a chance it’s a lot less likely to get a bj from a hot priestess than ending up giving the bj to the old crabby man.
1984@lemmy.today 3 days ago
When googling on this, I find more people. Here is a old man who believed the same:
AEsheron@lemmy.world 3 days ago
OP is edited, it’s the same story.
Aralakh@lemmy.ca 2 days ago
The pastor himself renounced the Presbytery on 25 January a day before a church trial was due to start and moved to a gated retirement community in the nearby town of Lakewood.
I really hope he actually faced consequences
therewolftherecastle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 days ago
The power of Christ compelled her to swallow hog.
some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 3 days ago
Remember how Jesus pulled out a demon (or demons) named Legion? They’re in me and I desperately need this woman’s help. Please. I’m suffering.
TheStaffmaster@lemmy.world 3 days ago
I have a gluttony demon. This may require repeat appointment-Er, I mean “anointments”
hardcoreufo@lemmy.world 3 days ago
But which church? There are so many disgusting demon sucking pastors.
Tiral@lemmy.world 3 days ago
999 out of 1,000 you don’t want.
Avicenna@programming.dev 3 days ago
I am pretty sure there are porn movies with this exact theme
BenLeMan@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Yes, Semen Demons Part 1-19. It’s so good to see the congregation come together.
Fair warning: these are real tearjerkers, so keep tissues handy.
🤜💦 🥲
Jaeger86@lemmy.world 4 days ago
Pretty sure I’ve seen that plot somewhere
IAMgROOT@lemmy.wtf 4 days ago
hey, protestantism, hows it going?
😦
prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 days ago
Oh no, sex!!! Well I never!
IAMgROOT@lemmy.wtf 3 days ago
the sin of Lust, in this case via sexual intercourse before marriage, corrupts our soul and our very nature and destroys our relationship with Christ and our fellows
Zephyr@sh.itjust.works 4 days ago
Hallelujah
dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 3 days ago
So you should all know that I founding a new church!
The Church of the Clean Bill of Health!
Got a clean bill of health? You’re welcome at my church!
BlackLaZoR@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Should’ve advertised it as an exorcism.
MrChewy@lemmy.world 3 days ago
We were lied to by ID Software on how an expert demon slayer looks like!! I’d ask for my money back, but I don’t think they’d accept a pregnancy test that I play Doom on back…
omodasonya3@lemmy.zip 2 days ago
darkdemize@sh.itjust.works 4 days ago
Image