Halp my pp is haunted.
Demon slayer
Submitted 3 weeks ago by stumu415@lemmy.zip to [deleted]
https://lemmy.zip/pictrs/image/e03d2e7f-902b-42da-95fe-d3e0e158a8ba.avif
Comments
TheEighthDoctor@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
Who the fuck was the snitch!
RagingRobot@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
No one said she was in any kind of trouble for it. I think this is just marketing
w3ird_sloth@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
My wife, unfortunately.
Noite_Etion@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
tetris11@feddit.uk 3 weeks ago
What’s fellti?
Lumidaub@feddit.org 3 weeks ago
That’s a grown-up thing, you’ll learn soon enough.
Noite_Etion@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
It’s supposed to read fellatio, but whoever captioned this tried to censor it, was just the only option I found in my 30 second search for this image.
AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I think it’s a kind of pasta
Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
Probably some Italian sauce or something. /j
Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
And where would one find this repugnant den of heretical iniquity? So one can avoid it, of course.
smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Post nut
claritysanctity.adam_y@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Big fan of your work here. Well done.
aeronmelon@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
A photo of the church is more than enough for geoguessers to figure it out.
toofpic@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
And said geoguessers are already in heaven
jaybone@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
Preface: I’m not good at this.
That doesn’t look like most church style architecture in most of the US, unless it’s in the North East / New England maybe? It almost looks more European. Also a female pastor wearing a collar like that seems unusual for the US. (Maybe Episcopalians do this? Not sure.) maybe these pics don’t even go together. I might guess that shockingly this whole story is fake.
EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com 3 weeks ago
Hey, try not to slay any demons on the way through the parking lot!
hypeerror@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
In a row?!
Disgruntledbeaver2@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
37?!
clucose@lemmy.ml 3 weeks ago
She practiced, did she get better?
M0oP0o@mander.xyz 3 weeks ago
I don’t know, how good could she have been at it to be found out? Like if this was voluntary why would anyone give up free secret oral sex? If it was not voluntary then… Church things.
DragonOracleIX@lemmy.ml 3 weeks ago
Could also be one of the guys ratting her out after feeling guilty about going through with it.
wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 3 weeks ago
Um hi I have a demon
KneeTitts@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
My friend Jim… he also has a, demon, in him. ya.
OleFoFa@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
To whom ut may concern: my two demons are starting to bicker amongst themselves and they are no longer welcome. Any aid in having them displaced is welcome.
AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 3 weeks ago
That’s just the next thing you do when praying the gay away doesn’t work.
huey_m@reddthat.com 3 weeks ago
There, you see? The Catholic Church was simply about saving the children.
TheStaffmaster@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
EVERY SPERM IS SAAACRED, EVERY SPERM IS GREAAAAAAT!!!
ieGod@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
Close, but the catholics are misogynist enough that women cannot be pastors.
SethTaylor@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
🎶 There’s a devil in my dick And some demons in my semen 🎶
ramius345@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
youtu.be/tX23qUNslJA great song.
slingstone@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I’m hearing this to the tune of “Keep Your Hands to Yourself” by the Georgia Satellites.
bennypr0fane@discuss.tchncs.de 3 weeks ago
I’m sure you have to be a bespoke faithful to receive that service
lightnsfw@reddthat.com 3 weeks ago
If I knew there were bjs to be had I’d have been willing to give church a shot. The few times I went there it was just a crabby old man reading his storybook to everyone.
ChanchoManco@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
If you give the church a chance it’s a lot less likely to get a bj from a hot priestess than ending up giving the bj to the old crabby man.
Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf 3 weeks ago
Demons hate this little trick.
Snapz@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Demons hate this little
trickprick.
mechoman444@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
As an atheist I’ve suddenly realized that there is a demon living in my penis.
Send help. Specifically this pastor.
pulsey@feddit.org 3 weeks ago
No worries, the pope is on the way.
Jaeger86@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Pretty sure I’ve seen that plot somewhere
IAMgROOT@lemmy.wtf 3 weeks ago
hey, protestantism, hows it going?
😦
prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
Oh no, sex!!! Well I never!
IAMgROOT@lemmy.wtf 3 weeks ago
the sin of Lust, in this case via sexual intercourse before marriage, corrupts our soul and our very nature and destroys our relationship with Christ and our fellows
Zephyr@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Hallelujah
1984@lemmy.today 3 weeks ago
When googling on this, I find more people. Here is a old man who believed the same:
AEsheron@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
OP is edited, it’s the same story.
Aralakh@lemmy.ca 3 weeks ago
The pastor himself renounced the Presbytery on 25 January a day before a church trial was due to start and moved to a gated retirement community in the nearby town of Lakewood.
I really hope he actually faced consequences
therewolftherecastle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
The power of Christ compelled her to swallow hog.
TheStaffmaster@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I have a gluttony demon. This may require repeat appointment-Er, I mean “anointments”
hardcoreufo@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
But which church? There are so many disgusting demon sucking pastors.
Tiral@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
999 out of 1,000 you don’t want.
Avicenna@programming.dev 3 weeks ago
I am pretty sure there are porn movies with this exact theme
BenLeMan@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Yes, Semen Demons Part 1-19. It’s so good to see the congregation come together.
Fair warning: these are real tearjerkers, so keep tissues handy.
🤜💦 🥲
dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 3 weeks ago
So you should all know that I founding a new church!
The Church of the Clean Bill of Health!
Got a clean bill of health? You’re welcome at my church!
solidheron@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
We have female pastors now?
rotkehle@feddit.org 3 weeks ago
I had a female pastor in my church almost 30 years ago. so yes we have female pastors for a while now.
solidheron@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Well shiiiiiiiiiit, id assume feminism would make leaps and bounds to gain gender integration in these old institutions
some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 3 weeks ago
Remember how Jesus pulled out a demon (or demons) named Legion? They’re in me and I desperately need this woman’s help. Please. I’m suffering.
BlackLaZoR@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Should’ve advertised it as an exorcism.
KingPorkChop@lemmy.ca 3 weeks ago
I’m pretty sure I have demon in me. Where do I apply?
ironycanal@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
Depends. How many piercings?
KingPorkChop@lemmy.ca 3 weeks ago
Less than 20
DandomRude@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
The body of Christ, given for you. Take and eat.
darkdemize@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Image