Halp my pp is haunted.
Demon slayer
Submitted 2 months ago by stumu415@lemmy.zip to [deleted]
https://lemmy.zip/pictrs/image/e03d2e7f-902b-42da-95fe-d3e0e158a8ba.avif
Comments
TheEighthDoctor@lemmy.zip 2 months ago
Who the fuck was the snitch!
RagingRobot@lemmy.world 2 months ago
No one said she was in any kind of trouble for it. I think this is just marketing
w3ird_sloth@lemmy.world 2 months ago
My wife, unfortunately.
Noite_Etion@lemmy.world 2 months ago
tetris11@feddit.uk 2 months ago
What’s fellti?
Lumidaub@feddit.org 2 months ago
That’s a grown-up thing, you’ll learn soon enough.
Noite_Etion@lemmy.world 2 months ago
It’s supposed to read fellatio, but whoever captioned this tried to censor it, was just the only option I found in my 30 second search for this image.
AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I think it’s a kind of pasta
Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 months ago
Probably some Italian sauce or something. /j
Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 2 months ago
And where would one find this repugnant den of heretical iniquity? So one can avoid it, of course.
smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Post nut
claritysanctity.aeronmelon@lemmy.world 2 months ago
A photo of the church is more than enough for geoguessers to figure it out.
toofpic@lemmy.world 2 months ago
And said geoguessers are already in heaven
jaybone@lemmy.zip 2 months ago
Preface: I’m not good at this.
That doesn’t look like most church style architecture in most of the US, unless it’s in the North East / New England maybe? It almost looks more European. Also a female pastor wearing a collar like that seems unusual for the US. (Maybe Episcopalians do this? Not sure.) maybe these pics don’t even go together. I might guess that shockingly this whole story is fake.
EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com 2 months ago
Hey, try not to slay any demons on the way through the parking lot!
hypeerror@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
In a row?!
Disgruntledbeaver2@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
37?!
clucose@lemmy.ml 2 months ago
She practiced, did she get better?
M0oP0o@mander.xyz 2 months ago
I don’t know, how good could she have been at it to be found out? Like if this was voluntary why would anyone give up free secret oral sex? If it was not voluntary then… Church things.
DragonOracleIX@lemmy.ml 2 months ago
Could also be one of the guys ratting her out after feeling guilty about going through with it.
wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 2 months ago
Um hi I have a demon
KneeTitts@lemmy.world 2 months ago
My friend Jim… he also has a, demon, in him. ya.
OleFoFa@lemmy.world 2 months ago
To whom ut may concern: my two demons are starting to bicker amongst themselves and they are no longer welcome. Any aid in having them displaced is welcome.
AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 2 months ago
That’s just the next thing you do when praying the gay away doesn’t work.
huey_m@reddthat.com 2 months ago
There, you see? The Catholic Church was simply about saving the children.
TheStaffmaster@lemmy.world 2 months ago
EVERY SPERM IS SAAACRED, EVERY SPERM IS GREAAAAAAT!!!
ieGod@lemmy.zip 2 months ago
Close, but the catholics are misogynist enough that women cannot be pastors.
SethTaylor@lemmy.world 2 months ago
🎶 There’s a devil in my dick And some demons in my semen 🎶
ramius345@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
youtu.be/tX23qUNslJA great song.
slingstone@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I’m hearing this to the tune of “Keep Your Hands to Yourself” by the Georgia Satellites.
bennypr0fane@discuss.tchncs.de 2 months ago
I’m sure you have to be a bespoke faithful to receive that service
lightnsfw@reddthat.com 2 months ago
If I knew there were bjs to be had I’d have been willing to give church a shot. The few times I went there it was just a crabby old man reading his storybook to everyone.
ChanchoManco@lemmy.zip 2 months ago
If you give the church a chance it’s a lot less likely to get a bj from a hot priestess than ending up giving the bj to the old crabby man.
Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf 2 months ago
Demons hate this little trick.
Snapz@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Demons hate this little
trickprick.
mechoman444@lemmy.world 2 months ago
As an atheist I’ve suddenly realized that there is a demon living in my penis.
Send help. Specifically this pastor.
pulsey@feddit.org 2 months ago
No worries, the pope is on the way.
Jaeger86@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Pretty sure I’ve seen that plot somewhere
IAMgROOT@lemmy.wtf 2 months ago
hey, protestantism, hows it going?
😦
prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 months ago
Oh no, sex!!! Well I never!
IAMgROOT@lemmy.wtf 2 months ago
the sin of Lust, in this case via sexual intercourse before marriage, corrupts our soul and our very nature and destroys our relationship with Christ and our fellows
Zephyr@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Hallelujah
1984@lemmy.today 2 months ago
When googling on this, I find more people. Here is a old man who believed the same:
AEsheron@lemmy.world 2 months ago
OP is edited, it’s the same story.
Aralakh@lemmy.ca 2 months ago
The pastor himself renounced the Presbytery on 25 January a day before a church trial was due to start and moved to a gated retirement community in the nearby town of Lakewood.
I really hope he actually faced consequences
therewolftherecastle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 months ago
The power of Christ compelled her to swallow hog.
TheStaffmaster@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I have a gluttony demon. This may require repeat appointment-Er, I mean “anointments”
hardcoreufo@lemmy.world 2 months ago
But which church? There are so many disgusting demon sucking pastors.
Tiral@lemmy.world 2 months ago
999 out of 1,000 you don’t want.
Avicenna@programming.dev 2 months ago
I am pretty sure there are porn movies with this exact theme
BenLeMan@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Yes, Semen Demons Part 1-19. It’s so good to see the congregation come together.
Fair warning: these are real tearjerkers, so keep tissues handy.
🤜💦 🥲
dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 2 months ago
So you should all know that I founding a new church!
The Church of the Clean Bill of Health!
Got a clean bill of health? You’re welcome at my church!
solidheron@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
We have female pastors now?
rotkehle@feddit.org 2 months ago
I had a female pastor in my church almost 30 years ago. so yes we have female pastors for a while now.
solidheron@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Well shiiiiiiiiiit, id assume feminism would make leaps and bounds to gain gender integration in these old institutions
some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 2 months ago
Remember how Jesus pulled out a demon (or demons) named Legion? They’re in me and I desperately need this woman’s help. Please. I’m suffering.
BlackLaZoR@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Should’ve advertised it as an exorcism.
KingPorkChop@lemmy.ca 2 months ago
I’m pretty sure I have demon in me. Where do I apply?
ironycanal@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 months ago
Depends. How many piercings?
KingPorkChop@lemmy.ca 2 months ago
Less than 20
DandomRude@lemmy.world 2 months ago
The body of Christ, given for you. Take and eat.
darkdemize@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Image