KingPorkChop

@KingPorkChop@lemmy.ca

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Rich people don't understand us at all.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  No whey.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Rich people don't understand us at all.⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  HA!

  If I had a robot that was supposed to be AI, but actually run remotely from India, handjob mode would be the least of their concerns.

  I’d put a strap-on on it, dress it up like a farmer, I’d dress like a can of tuna fish, I’d cover myself in cottage cheese and roll on the ground in convulsions screaming “FUCK ME WILBER! FUCK YOUR TUNA CAN! FUCK IT GOOD”…

  …and that would just be Monday.

  Those poor drivers would have PTSD when I’m done with them.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Rich people don't understand us at all.⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Scenario 1:

  • 2 bedroom apartment. $2000 a month.
  • I pay $1000 a month.
  • Roommate pays $1000 a month.
  • Split utilities between us both.

  Scenario 2:

  • 2 bedroom apartment. $2000 a month.
  • I pay $2000 a month.
  • I buy bed making robot. $15,000-20,000
  • I pay bed making robot subscription. $500+ a month.
  • I pay for all utilities

  I can see how Scenario 2 will be much better for me. Sign me up.

  Side note: That fucking robot better have a handjob mode.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Return to office propaganda floating around LinkedIn⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Year 3: From your home office, you spearhead multiple high level projects which triple the billable hours of your department. You are not in the office enough to lick the asshole of your manager so Bob the intern gets the promotion. Bob will be paid entry level salary and really knows how to get the tongue deep in that brown hole.

  Year 4: Enough is enough. You quit that stupid job and secure a job with a company that values performance based promotions and raises. No one knows anything about your projects and when you leave they whither on the vine.

  Year 5: You run into Bob at the pub. He says management converted the office to AI and everyone got fired.

  Year 6: You chuckle when you drive by that company you used to work for and find the building is now for lease and the company is in bankruptcy.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I agree with don⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Grandpappy always said, if a lady doesn’t appreciate a good wafflestomp, then she isn’t worth keeping.

  He also insisted Jesus told him aspirin and bacon fat enemas were the cure for cancer, so take his advice at your own peril.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I agree with don⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  I’m pretty sure she won’t like you shitting in the yard with the dogs.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I agree with don⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  You do know they make big dick toilets, right? Lots of room for dangle.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I agree with don⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  After moving into my own house as a teen, I always sit at home. I’m the dude who has to clean the washroom.

  At a public place with a urinal, I’ll stand. I always feel weird sitting on it.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨idiot you tuber leaving his 50 cal on the ground pointed at the picnic table⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  100% that old people should have to take more frequent driver assessment tests. Maybe one at 65 years old. One at 69, one at 73, then every year or two after. You could probably create a simple driving simulator that tests sign reading ability and reaction times.

  I’ve known some older people in their mid 80s with perfectly fine reactive times and mental ability, but I’ve also known some in their mid 60s who probably should have surrendered their license when they hit 60.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨idiot you tuber leaving his 50 cal on the ground pointed at the picnic table⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  The oil is so he can fuck his gun, right?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨idiot you tuber leaving his 50 cal on the ground pointed at the picnic table⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Americans allowing almost everyone handgun ownership is the stupidest thing ever.

  I don’t trust 3/4 of the population with a car let alone a handgun.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Interesting bathroom design⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  I bought a house that the previous owners had installed a lower level washroom, sink, and shower. Shit went in a tank, pump moved it up about 12 feet to city sewage.

  I’m sure it was fine but I never used the toilet because I didn’t want to deal with it failing. We did use the shower and sink though.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Demon slayer⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Less than 20

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Demon slayer⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  I’m pretty sure I have demon in me. Where do I apply?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Femality is stored in the nipples⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Maybe the vast majority of prude Jesus Americans. In more advanced societies and cities it’s a different story.

  For instance, it’s perfectly legal for females to walk around topless in Vancouver BC. Seattle and Vancouver both have public beaches where clothing is optional. The only people that care are religious weirdos.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Men against bush⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Same. Shaved or well trimmed avoids a mouthful of pubes.

  Feel free to grow it into a 1970s afro, but I’m not putting my face down there and weed wacking your untamed garden to the promised land.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Femality is stored in the nipples⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Reminds me of the trans woman that took her top off at the White House under Biden and MAGA lost their minds.

  They don’t recognize her gender as a woman so those should just be man boobs and not a big deal, but they lost their fucking shit.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Apple that makes eunuchs⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Speak for yourself - he says in a comically high voice.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨📡📡📡⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  I don’t want either. For me, superhero stuff is tried and boring. How about some new ideas?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down

  Of the big lake they call Gitche Gumee…

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨⁩ ⁨⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  I think its called a gaggle of decimals.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon tries to understand credit scores⁩ ⁨⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  How do Americans tolerate this?

  Brainwashing. Americans don’t realize they live in a Dystopian shithole where, since the 80s, the rules are made by the rich to keep the common person down.

  We’re coming to the end game of this now.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Age check⁩ ⁨⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  I hope Trump is the last Boomer President.

  It’s like the boomers last gasp to really fuck EVERYTHING up once and for all.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Microsoft's latest Windows 11 24H2 update breaks SSDs/HDDs, may corrupt data⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago⁩:

  But it gives the religious cult a chance to knock on your door and ask if you’ve heard of their lord and saviour, Linus.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Debatable⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago⁩:

  He’s actually doing some really new and interesting things. Probably none of it is going to catch on as a look, but it’s unique.

  Also, a lot of the cuts look interesting because of how he shaves it. A week or two after the cut and it will lose the effect - another reason why none of these will trend.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨It would get old fast⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago⁩:

  I’m fine with this considering my house is not in the picture.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨heaven⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago⁩:

  …and eating lobster

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨heaven⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago⁩:

  some form of providence intervened

  Providence?!?! Rhode Island ?!?!?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨heaven⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago⁩:

  Not excited about getting my impacted wisdom teeth back. I’m starting to think God’s a bit of a dick.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The next time you hear someone say they're just vibing in life without a job, just look at this image.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago⁩:

  “I don’t want to work. I want to live in the woods and grow my own food and get back to nature.” - City Hippie