Omg that’s horrible…
Where can one find one?
Apple that makes eunuchs
Submitted 2 weeks ago by cm0002@mander.xyz to memes@sopuli.xyz
https://lemmy.ml/pictrs/image/1972f07b-d993-487c-b60a-80d5a4c4c250.jpeg
Comments
Beth@piefed.social 2 weeks ago
Can it do tops too?
moosetwin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
Does it do weddings as well?
EggInDisguise@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 weeks ago
Damn, I just want my balls off. I wanna keep my dick.
What if I just have a nibble?
tetris11@feddit.uk 2 weeks ago
I remember Snow White a little differently from this
ironycanal@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
You know all those stories were sanitized.
yermaw@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
I’m not sure you really want that. As a horny teen I wanked myself dry a few times and it is painful.
EggInDisguise@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 weeks ago
No, I’m positive I want that.
I think as a teen we all went a little too hard with our equipment once or twice lmao
Redjard@reddthat.com 2 weeks ago
Balls only make sperm, the fluid is the prostate(?) or smthn, it comes from inside the body.
expr@piefed.social 2 weeks ago
I’ve never heard someone say that before. Why would you want one but not the other, if you don’t mind my asking?
svcg@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 weeks ago
Hello! I’m not the person you asked but I figured I’d throw in my experience.
In my case, if I could snap my fingers and instantly change my penis to a vulva, I would. But I had a haemorroid surgery many years ago, and the month or so afterwards was one of the worst times of my life, so I would prefer it if no surgeon ever went anywhere near my lower trunk ever again.
But everyone’s experience is different. Some women just like to fuck, and of the trans women who do, some don’t feel the need to replace the factory installed equipment for doing so.
Bluewing@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Well, you could still pee standing up.
grrgyle@slrpnk.net 2 weeks ago
Yeah like is there an artificial flavour I can try? Also someone attached to the birth kit
SethTaylor@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Trans lifehack?
CheerfulPassionFruit@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Was about to ask where to find some, asking for a friend of course
HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
But it would make you a nullo?
rockSlayer@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 weeks ago
Free orchidectomy and penectomy? Where are these apples found? Asking for a friend
Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
free castration
psx_crab@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
Shouldn’t it be called Instant Trans Apple?
mech@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
This implies trans women are just men without genitals.
iocase@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
This implies the speed running community doesn’t exist
qarbone@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
No it doesn’t? The apple doesn’t check if you’re a man before de-dickandballs-ing you. It’ll uproot the twig and berries whether you’re cis, trans, or intersex.
Lumisal@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Your comment implies women that are trans and get surgery aren’t trans, just men without genitals.
sunsofold@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
I imagine it’d be more like the kind of removal one gets from other natural causes, like frostbite or a bloodclot. I.e. painful and necrotic
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
you left out snake and pumabite
ironycanal@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
If, hypothetically, some sort of person who didn’t have a dick and balls were to eat it?
qarbone@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
It’s expunging 15g of crotchmeat no matter what you do or don’t have, so buckle up.
Jax@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
So, for reference, studies like the sources for this article suggest the average human penis weighs between 70-100 grams.
So you’d be growing a micropenis at 15g. Not quite the effusive expulsion you were imagining.
ironycanal@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
Oh. So if someone had a
Wait. Penises get erect by engorging with fluid. Do you lose a smaller percentage if you have an erect vs flaccid penis while eating one?
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
you get all the dicksandballses that have fallen off since the last dickandballsless person to eat one
ironycanal@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
So this is just a snack for all trans people?
SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
No, thanks. I hate sweet apples. Give them to us sour and crunchy.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
king_comrade@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
What’s apple’s, precious?
atomicorange@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
No negatives you say?
Jo4ted@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
Any other transfems want to join me in going on an adventure to find these?
Kolanaki@pawb.social 2 weeks ago
My sister would love these.
bacon_pdp@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
How could one fund an orchard to provide these for free to transfem women?
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
An apple a day keeps the doctor away…because now the doctor is too depressed to go to work and be a doctor…
ironycanal@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
No, she’s fine.
Chef@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Wow, I’d love to try…
holdup
thethunderwolf@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
🥚
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
“i’ll try anything once” oh shit
Draegur@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
I want that apple even more now.
bold_omi@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
It does not, in fact, do that.
KingPorkChop@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
Speak for yourself - he says in a comically high voice.
bold_omi@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
Eunuchs do not have particularly high voices if made eunuchs as adults. One does not undergo a reverse puberty if the gonads are removed.
diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Wait wait wait hold up
altphoto@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
If mine fell off, I would make a device to keep it alive so I could play with it when ever I wanted to. Plus now that’s detached you could toss it around, let her borrow it for a few nights or let her use it in the shower. Lots of good things could be coming from this. We just don’t see it because we haven’t been in this position before.
karlhungus@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
JamesBoeing737MAX@sopuli.xyz 2 weeks ago
Wow, almost forgot about this one.
altphoto@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
Hilarious!
Gonzako@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
WifiDICK
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
it didn’t say they died. it just say they fall off.
tgirlschierke@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 weeks ago
where could one acquire such an apple, hypothetically?
RBWells@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Www.applerankings.com
androidul@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
it’s black because it grew from an oil spill
ChairmanMeow@programming.dev 2 weeks ago
For those curious, this apple does exist (though it’s more of a very dark purple) and it grows at high altitude in Tibet. The altitude gave it its colour.
unemployedclaquer@sopuli.xyz 2 weeks ago
And its effect on one’s delicate bits?
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
dammit i live near apple country (it’s why i smoke with apple half the time. applewood is cheap as hell out in placerville) and i have a goal of eating every varietal of apple. just that’s it. every varietal of apple. why the hell not when you live near apple country, right? you mean i have to fly to tibet to eat this?
muusemuuse@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
I feel like going full Snow White with and offering Trump an Apple.
Then again, he doesn’t eat food that was, you know, grown, so….
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
sold!
we’re forcefemming the
whiteblackdiamondhouse~uberfreeza@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I want to use this meme to draw attention to the fact that many fruits have a lot of varieties. Usually, people know this because of wines and grapes, since concord, pinot noir/grigio, chardonnay, nebbiolo are all different kinds of grapes and are vastly different. The same is true with apples too, but most people are familiar with the few they can pick at orchards. If there was an apple that could do what’s described in the meme, I wouldn’t be particularly surprised.
webp@mander.xyz 2 weeks ago
Oh my god, it’s from the garden of eden myth
Formfiller@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Can we ship some of these to Peter Thiel’s dialogue meeting
aeronmelon@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
[several transfems are typing…]
kittenzrulz123@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
Mm…mmmrrroow 🥺