RBWells
@RBWells@lemmy.world
- Comment on Is it unusual if I am a woman but I do not smell "fishy" down there? 10 hours ago:
The fuck? Fishy smell is an infection, not a healthy vagina. You are usual, no worries.
- Comment on Why does everyone put celery in soup stock? 10 hours ago:
I think you are an outlier in your palate for celery. Could you have an allergy or something? I like it fine, it tastes good and adds a really nice flavor to stock for soup. If you don’t like that flavor just leave it out when you make it, the rest of us might think your dish is missing something but who cares, if the something it’s missing is something you don’t like?
My penultimate child loves “cooked salted celery” as she puts it - she will rescue it from the stock pot, and likes stir fry of just celery and beef.
- Comment on Longing, Rusted, Seventeen, Daybreak, Furnace, Nine, Benign, Homecoming, One, Boxcar 11 hours ago:
Ours is corre, corre, policia!
- Comment on why the heck do cockroaches fly 3 days ago:
Oh God they’ve weaponized them. Why am I consigned to this timeline?
- Comment on why the heck do cockroaches fly 3 days ago:
The insect apocalypse is by far the most ominous sign in my lifetime, but if I never again see a mating swarm of palmetto bugs, a cloud of them flying, it will be too soon.
Once we were at a Mexican restaurant and in the booth behind us were some students from somewhere else. They were talking about the palmetto bugs and one said, well at least they don’t fly. And I turned around and said, “oh no, I regret I have some very bad news for you.”
Those fuckers don’t even run or fly away, they come AT you. My mom said they like to try to squeeze into small spaces, don’t like being out in the open and see you as a safe place not a threat. I have a fear of them that is way beyond reason.
- Comment on Anon is smart or dumb 1 week ago:
Better to get pretty yourself I think? I feel like the bar for good looking straight guy is not even that high, you could be in the top half just by getting in shape, haircut and wearing clean clothes that fit.
- Comment on How do you sleep at night? Please respond with a number 1 week ago:
Seems bad for circulation too.
- Comment on How do you sleep at night? Please respond with a number 1 week ago:
- Occasionally 9. I can’t imagine sleeping in a bra, that seems dreadfully uncomfortable.
- Comment on Trump wants the NFL to change its name so that soccer is the only sport called football: ‘We have to come up with another name for the NFL stuff’ 1 week ago:
Aqui en Español, es la piña, no es la anana.
- Comment on Trump wants the NFL to change its name so that soccer is the only sport called football: ‘We have to come up with another name for the NFL stuff’ 1 week ago:
I don’t disagree, it needs a different name, has not much to do with feet, but really? A trophy is enough of a bribe for him to upset his base of NFL fans? Can someone bribe him to get us on Metric system?
- Comment on Who shops at small businesses? 1 week ago:
Exactly like you - restaurants and grocery I can do local small business. Also services, haircut and such, I don’t use chain places. And I try to pay very local people for anything we get done to the house, the pets, the yard.
But the “corner convenience store” that has the household stuff is Walgreens, there isn’t a local equivalent nearby and yes buying stuff 'on the ground ’ sometimes costs so very much more than ordering online.
- Comment on Is there an optimal home/apartment size that most people would be happy with? 2 weeks ago:
When we had 6 kids living with us, 2500 sq feet felt luxurious. Two kids in each bedroom upstairs, and we had a bedroom downstairs, there were 6 bathrooms in that house (5 full one just a toilet and sink) and it did feel big.
When we had 4 kids in a 1300 sq foot house, it was plenty enough room but there was only one bathroom and that made it more difficult.
We had 2 in a 1300 with 2 bathrooms AND a garage for storage and workout room, that worked fine, but the bedrooms were big and living room tiny, that is not ideal, it needed to be arranged differently.
Now we have 2 kids in an 1800 sq feet house and I would say this is ideal, it’s arranged so the kids have their own living room/gaming room outside of their small bedrooms, and we have a bedroom on the other side of the house where the kitchen and main living room are. Also a great big back deck that can be accessed from our bedroom and that main living room, which adds enough capacity we can have big parties. 2.5 bathrooms, 3.5 would be better. When these last 2 kids move out it will STILL be ideal, an office, a guest room or workout room, a den, we could even move the TV out of the living room then if we wanted.
So I think how it’s arranged makes a difference but family of 4 in 1800sq ft feels like we have a big house to me.
- Comment on Feeding my family alone is expensive. I can't afford to feed all of y'all. 2 weeks ago:
Yeah I cook for Easter and don’t expect anybody to bring anything but it’s not as big as Thanksgiving. We had an enormous Halloween party too, but that was more drinking than eating, we just got a nice veggie platter and fried chicken and some dips & chips (sourdough crackers, tortilla crisps) but good cocktails.
I do enjoy hosting in general, it’s satisfying and a party is more fun for me when I have something to do.
- Comment on Feeding my family alone is expensive. I can't afford to feed all of y'all. 2 weeks ago:
I do host thanksgiving for more than 20 usually, we do an all-comers meal, whoever wants to come to eat can. It’s fun and I enjoy it and yep everyone brings something but even so it is expensive for certain. Legitimately thankful that we can do this for everyone. But even when I was younger people coming to Thanksgiving brought something, is that not a usual expectation if you are going to a party? At least bring wine or ice or something.
- Comment on The ancient Greeks or Chinese should have already had words for this. 3 weeks ago:
I am good at design, can visualize how something will look when it’s done but no don’t SEE in my mind like that when I imagine how things look. It’s a different sort of knowing. Cannot hold an image and rotate it in my mind and absolutely can’t read a map that isn’t facing the right way, there is a blindness.
Surely not antphasic because I do see in dreams, same as through eyes. And I do KNOW how things look when they aren’t in front of me, and can know what imaginary things might look like too, but it doesn’t at all feel like seeing it with my eyes.
Love reading. Love love love it, learned when I was very young, same age I was learning to talk, actually, like a language not a skill. And I do have an internal ear, when I remember music I hear it in my mind and it is so much like hearing it in my ears. Imagining how something looks does not feel the same as seeing it.
- Comment on Racism restaurant 3 weeks ago:
It’s a good grilled cheese cheese, and the standard cheese on Cuban Cheese Toast here. Taste slightly sharper than the yellow one. Good also for queso dip in a pinch. There is also a Swiss flavor white American cheese, that also gets used because it melts better than real Swiss. Not good.
And no they aren’t cheese, though made of mostly cheese, they are “pasteurized processed cheese food”.
- Comment on Is it gay to have pleasurable sex with your wife? 4 weeks ago:
Competence and intelligence are attractive, you aren’t elitist, that is so reasonable. Not saying there’s nothing wrong with you, I don’t know you. But wanting someone competent that you can talk to, that is a normal thing to need.
- Comment on People who don't wear earphones outside - why, and what do you do instead? 4 weeks ago:
I bike to work and walk to anything close (have electric bike so that is my 1-6 mile ride usually, and under a mile I use my feet.). A Run though, that I only do for exercise, and not if I can avoid it.
Car, I have one but my kid takes it to university so I don’t usually get to drive it. And I do prefer moving at a human pace, and not having to park the car.
- Comment on What's the name of this 80s song sang by a solo female singer? I only remember her saying "nothing really maaaa-tters" or "nothing truly maaaatt-ers". Has a vibe like I Feel For You by Chaka Kahn 4 weeks ago:
Jump for my love by the Pointer sisters? That has the super high pitched yoo oo oo at the end (that honestly kind of ruins it) and bouncy dancy lady singing song
- Comment on People who don't wear earphones outside - why, and what do you do instead? 4 weeks ago:
I like music, love music, keep it on in the house and car but do not like headphones and wouldn’t dare use them on a walk or run because I’d get run over by a car.
I like the sound of the city, the birds singing, the crows cawing, kids yelling, even the distant sirens and LOVE the distant music of parties, so much. Cars going by with music. Incidental sound is engaging IMO not boring.
- Comment on Native Americans? 4 weeks ago:
Where I grew up, the Hispanic people were the white people, everyone had Spanish background of some sort, the mayor was Hispanic, I had no idea that was any sort of a difference. Until I visited California and saw the discrimination against Mexicans, because they LOOKED native, not European. Like, my maternal grandpa was probably part Mexican but pale as fuck, my paternal grandpa allegedly French & English but short stature and tan complexion. None of this registered as any sort of difference to me.
Latin American Hispanics are at least partly indigenous to the Americas, yes. So yes you can be Hispanic and of European heritage (España) or, more commonly, Hispanic of the Americas (because of the conquistadores). I don’t think straight indigenous not Spanish speaking and from the Americas is Hispanic.
So yes, to your question - a lot of people speak Spanish but their ancestors would have been Mayan or Zapotec, or something. Yes. Millions.
- Comment on Why do Republicans hate the poor so much? 5 weeks ago:
My ex MIL is great in a lot of ways but I think a good example of a middle income conservative person with a disdain for the poor. She personally used welfare to go to school and become a nurse but in her mind this was exceptional - welfare she thinks holds people back (just not her, somehow). She doesn’t hate the poor, she just thinks they are doing it to themselves. Because she managed to make it.
I think that’s the fundamental difference between conservative and progressive, honestly. She thinks she personally should get whatever advantage, but if someone else gets it that’s cheating, basically. Even though she was IN that situation she blames others who are.
For me (and I think most people) the life experience of being poor and homeless have me perspective and empathy for those who are in that situation now, and Is like them to get more than I did so they can get established.
- Comment on How do you beat post-work floppiness? 5 weeks ago:
I go pretty much straight from work to yoga, make supper at a civilized hour afterwards, and take Wednesdays off workouts to, as you say, flop.
Gardening I do in the morning before work.
Cooking I do because others depend on me, that’s been true for 30 years now, before that I didn’t remember to eat, just when hungry. Don’t keep junk in the house if it tempts you, make your easy stuff healthier. Hummus, boil eggs on the weekends so you have those, fruit, bagged salad greens, make it easier to eat nutritious food.
I want to say suck it up and go to the gym, you will be glad you did. 9-5 is pretty nice hours, here it’s 8-5 or 9-6. Exercise is one non-negotiable for me. I have gotten up at 5 to run when that was the only option, and have gone to the gym at 20:30 after night classes after work when that was the only option. You will feel better if you just GO and work out even if you don’t want to.
Habit>willpower. Commit to 6 weeks, and by then your schedule will probably settle out. Personally I put exercise ahead of healthy eating because I know my body.
- Comment on [deleted] 5 weeks ago:
It’s hard for everyone. 60 hours of work week sounds like you need a new job. That’s not something that can be sustained over the long haul and I don’t think it leaves you time for an affair or drinking habit. In terms of practical changes: Transition your kid to 9pm bedtime, get help with the cooking and hire someone to clean each week if you have to work that much and can’t do anything about it for now.
My husband has a busy season - during this time I do more of the household stuff because he is working 9-9 six days a week. I have a busy season too - during this time I don’t try to cook every day, husband helps out more.
But all year we get help with cleaning, every other week.
- Comment on How Old We're You when You Learned the Word, "Fascist"? 5 weeks ago:
I don’t remember but do remember my dad calling me an anarchist when I was very, very young. Like maybe 4 or 5.
- Comment on Anon likes a girl 5 weeks ago:
It’s funny though - a guy my size is still stronger than me and guys shorter than me often still outmass me and are stronger than me, it’s strange that it’s so hyperfocused on height.
Husband is my height but outweighs me by 50-60lb and can lift 2x what I can on my best day. I’m literally smaller and weaker, lol, despite being neither small nor weak.
- Comment on Anon likes a girl 5 weeks ago:
I have found lots of guys don’t want to date anyone as tall or taller than them (or one guy who fetishized it, which was so not better) it’s certainly not just women driving this preference.
But can’t say that being tall as a lady has ever really kept me from finding partners, and the short guys I know in real life also do fine, so I think this is usually more of a weak preference not a criteria.
- Comment on what is the best fruit to leave in a fridge? 5 weeks ago:
Apples stay nice in the refrigerator, figs do, berries, grapes, citrus.
But I think what you need more is a checklist? So that it doesn’t matter if your fruit this week is in the fridge or on the counter.
- Comment on Anon gets his life in order 5 weeks ago:
Yeah, no. That is not what I signed up for.
We do lift each other up, it’s not a one way thing. Can advise, and do, and he does with me too. So sure, I am willing to make suggestions and he always wants me to do stuff like style his wardrobe, do all the interior design, etc., yeah I’m down, my eye is better. He plans all the trips, his mom was a travel agent.
But would not dream of using sex as a lever, because I want sex for sex.
And I sure as fuck don’t want another kid, I want a partner.
- Comment on When kids come trick-or-treating, what happens if I choose trick? 1 month ago:
Relevant song. And a good one.