RBWells
@RBWells@lemmy.world
- Comment on As adults, do you still watch kids’ cartoons, either old or new? 3 days ago:
I watch plenty of animated stuff but not specifically kids stuff. Movies I would, shows not so much.
Books, though? Some of the best written and most interesting books I’ve read as an adult were labeled as YA books.
- Comment on When you are not employed but need to go to a workshop/conference/public events that require you to lost out your company and title, what do you put on without sounding awkward? 5 days ago:
I have an address modifier for my physical home address (a description to help delivery people find it) and always just use that when there is a ‘company’ field on anything not related to my job. So basically, I make something up, say my home is my business.
But I like the idea of “Independent” a lot. I’m sure they aren’t trying to keep you out, just trying to help you network.
- Comment on I guess I won't see a concert tonight. 1 week ago:
Yep. Here the tickets for the smaller venues are often still Ticketmaster. I don’t do arena or stadium shows, ever. They have their fingers in everything.
Occasionally the tickets are sold through Eventbrite or the very small local ticketing alternative, and there are a couple who handle their own box office but more often than you think, it’s fucking Ticketmaster.
- Comment on Where are you supposed to put your eyes when you're not using them? 1 week ago:
Stare directly at the people who are treating you like a freak for staring out the window.
Gazing out the window and zoning out are absolutely normal human behaviors.
- Comment on Is it true that asshole bad boys are generally more likable than other guys? 1 week ago:
Absolutely not. Arrogant and asshole would disqualify him from being hot, even if in shape and good looking. And obviously he wouldn’t be likeable.
I think people misunderstand the “confidence is sexy”. It’s not arrogance or cockiness, more like the sort of self-confidence that makes you feel the person accepts themselves and you. The people who are easy to talk to and who listen. That kind of just being at ease with the world, that most of us struggle with. That is the sexy confidence.
- Comment on Does anybody actually work from 09:00 to 17:00 1 week ago:
I have not found one. If I come in at 9, leave at 18, or 18:30, if I come in at 8, same. So I come in at 9.
But in general here it’s a 9 hour day with an hour break for lunch, that makes the 8 hour workday.
- Comment on Anon watches redditors talk about bodycount 1 week ago:
Ouch. That is so fucked up. I am older and have been structurally tight (skin too tight at opening) sex hurts when it goes on too long. The “husband stitch” is abusive. And doctors do it because they do episiotomy, which is also awful because that cut doesn’t heal as well as a repaired natural tear and you might not tear at all.
Complimentary tightening surgery my ass. That doesn’t help mothers at all.
Rehab with kegels does help and obviously if you tear, a repair. The midwife recommended working up to fisting before having a baby and man I wish I had taken that advice.
But being tight right at the opening of the vagina just hurts, there is no advantage to it.
- Comment on Why are dads like this? 1 week ago:
I am a mom, but used to sometimes carry my oldest by her feet, in one hand, squirming like a fish, when she had a fit somewhere out in the world when she was toddler age. The change of perspective seemed to help. That kid also ended up being an acrobat.
My brother always held babies so awkwardly, even his own, it was funny.
- Comment on Is it weird that I cringe whenever someone calls my name and I avoid using peoples names when talking to them? 2 weeks ago:
Here, kids usually call the parents Ms. Firstname. On sir/ma’am, I did tell my kids to use that with servers, cashiers, housekeepers.
- Comment on Finally, we have the blueprints! 2 weeks ago:
Something for everyone!
- Comment on Aaaaaaaaaa 4 weeks ago:
I was quite surprised, when buying seeds for my garden (I need heat tolerant varieties of everything) that some of the ones that were heat tolerant were also cold tolerant, either old varieties or sturdy hybrids.
Green Magic Broccoli is awesome, and there are lettuces like that. And while our unusual double tap freeze this year wiped out most of my garden, the fennel, which is heat tolerant in my experience, just did not freeze. All those little hairy leaves were completely undamaged. I did not expect that!
- Comment on She only wanted the ring bros 5 weeks ago:
I dunno, my ex was ok with the kids, and I was able to sleep & nurse at the same time (small boobs) but breastfeeding knocked my libido down to less than zero. Usually I run pretty hot, but while nursing it was like I couldn’t care at all about sex, it felt like a chore, and when we did, I had both fear (because childbirth) and had to work just to get to a baseline level of desire at all. I always figured it was a natural birth control thing, nature helping so kids don’t come too close together.
- Comment on I am against rape or rapists or any such type of action or person. But my mom who has a daughter. Keeps questioning why these women wait so long before coming out with it? 5 weeks ago:
I am sorry to say I think all women have experience with this. For me, I mostly just was not as traumatized as I’d expect someone to be, it would be more traumatic to bring it up, so I just moved on. Only if someone asks do I disclose it. If it was someone who later became powerful I might feel different though, right? Might feel like if he did that to me, he doubtless hurt others, and it might possibly do some good.
- Comment on Is putting black beans in my chili a bad idea? 5 weeks ago:
I don’t use either of those, generally. Pintos make the best chili, for veg or beef chili.
But if making a chili with chicken, black beans are the best.
You won’t wreck it, it’s chili. Taste and adjust till you like it.
How long have you had these beans, that they are expiring? Don’t they last for years?
- Comment on Winning life 101 1 month ago:
I used to hate wasps till I saw them pollinating my flowers. They have always been pretty chill around here, except for the yellow jacket ones.
- Comment on Some neighbors have no chill 1 month ago:
It’s funny I was just talking to my oldest, who said “I never feel more like a middle aged Karen than when I have to call the non emergency police line about something going on” and I said “I don’t know how I didn’t manage to raise you with a healthy fear of the police. I have called them once only.”
I remember what I called them about, too. The police helicopter was circling and circling and the baby (same one who is the woman in the comment above) kept crying because she couldn’t sleep, I called 911, asked for the non emergency #, called and asked what the heck was going on, told them if they were chasing someone they had lost them. They put me on hold then came back and said it was training! I told them it had been hours and my kid couldn’t sleep. It did end soon after (probably nothing to do with my call) and hopefully at least let them know it was problematic.
- Comment on Anon's parents are fighting 1 month ago:
Yeah 2 of ours plus the girlfriend of one of my daughters live with us. The couple both have pretty good jobs and are saving up to get a place in the summer, then we will be down to one, the last in a very long line of children. I’m not in a hurry, my mom kicked me out at 17 and it really set me back in life. Have been through this several times with mine, they do leave when they want to, and eventually they want to. Having time to work & not pay rent helps with getting started on adult life.
- Comment on Is it normal to "like" or at least not care seeing people suffer? 1 month ago:
No, not normal. If you enjoy it, something is wrong. If you just aren’t upset by it, but care, you might make a good emergency room doctor.
How do you feel if it’s someone you care about, or yourself?
- Comment on One new message! 1 month ago:
I wouldn’t give mine away, and enjoyed parenting more than any other job, but swear to God with every one of them I said that a parent should be provided with about 5 tranquilizer darts for each child when they are born, for the handful of situations that put you in danger of doing something you will regret. With each one, for me there were about 5 times I wished I could just toss a dart and pow! Kid falls down asleep.
- Comment on Do office going men still wear suits in the US? 1 month ago:
Not where I live. “Nice” in our office for men is a button-up tucked into actual pants, and good shoes. Maybe a sweater or blazer if it’s cold (not often here) Just looking put together. Some guys wear that everyday, others are more casual.
Women gave up formal office wear completely because that involves heels and pantyhose. For “Nice” we have a similar outfit as the guys, or a dress or skirt & top combo. Some women dress like that everyday in our office but just like with the men, most of us do not. I wear jeans and a good T-shirt or button-up or a light sweater.
- Comment on Why do some people with college degrees and an education, still act so fucking stupid? 1 month ago:
My mom worked as a university professor, then advisor, and what she said about college was “it just shows a prospective employer that you can follow rules and commit to doing something for a few years and follow through on it. That’s why they want the degree. Also cuts down on applicants, fewer to sort through.”
So, from someone on the inside, she didn’t think the main reason was education, in terms of specific jobs. I know in accounting I don’t use so much of what I learned and that’s a pretty specific degree. Anyone with a mind for numbers & systems could be trained on the job to do what I do.
- Comment on It hurts. 1 month ago:
But are none of the streets long enough to end up with a 1867, or whatever?
- Comment on It hurts. 1 month ago:
I am not good with left and right, mostly orient myself in the world using north, south, east, west and it is oddly disorienting to be on the diagonal road, my mind keeps wanting to think of it as a north-south road. Until I can FEEL it I keep saying it. The corners of the house are the compass points. My work office right now also is set diagonally like that!
- Comment on It hurts. 1 month ago:
May I ask a question about German addresses? Here, they go up and up as you move out from the center of town - we have a zero/zero, so to speak, at one corner, and if you live at 100 N, you are one block north of center. So if you are 100 blocks north of center you live at 10000. I lived at 1500 E on 15th St I’d be 15 blocks away in two directions from that central point.
Our German addresses are always like 6, never a big number. How?
- Comment on It hurts. 1 month ago:
Our house is on a slanty road and I’ve never lived on one before, my mind rejects it. The CORNERS of the house point in cardinal directions. It’s because we are near a river, some of the streets in my neighborhood follow its course, which right here runs southwest.
I just have to stop and think every time. Because I have only stayed on N-S or E-W roads my mind thinks our walls ought to be along those lines. I have to point at the corner and say NORTH out loud more often than you’d think.
- Comment on Nutritional Hexes 1 month ago:
Oh how I hate the whole idea of detox and clean as it relates to nutrition. I worked at a health food store when I was young and while there was good nutritious food there, plenty of good people, the whole idea of ‘clean’ comes from a very dark place. I remember the raw foods guys and the idea of breathetarians. Like the less physical and embodied you were, the better person you were, enlightened. The idea of the physical world being unclean and something you should try to be free of, I hate it.
It really is more of a religious idea than anything to do with physical health. I think you have to enjoy being embodied, love the physical plane of existence, to have a healthy body. Not perfect.
- Comment on How do left-leaning—or not even left-leaning, but pro-choice, pro-life people who don’t care about fornication—who are also Catholics and Christians justify their religion? 2 months ago:
Not religious but my mom was Methodist and open-minded. Basically she said the Bible was a document from a different time, and the most important commandments were to love your neighbor and take care of the least of us.
The behavioral rules she just thought relics of an earlier time, said many had been solved with science (ok to eat pork, be gay, whatever).
My grandma was Catholic and she just basically wasn’t evangelical, right? So sure, maybe we were going to hell but that was between us & God, nothing to do with us. On homosexuality she (like others I’ve talked to) said, yeah of course gay people were made that way by God, that was their cross to bear, they had to be celibate. “So do nuns and monks and priests, some people are not supposed to have sex, it’s always been that way.”
- Comment on Is school cafeteria food in America trash? 2 months ago:
- Comment on Would you ever call your son a disappointment? 2 months ago:
What the actual fuck? NO. Kids who are little are little kids, they are all potential, you can be somewhat disappointed in their behavior occasionally but not them. Grown kids are grownups with their own lives, they can disappoint themselves I guess but not me, and if they somehow managed it I still would not say that, they don’t exist to satisfy me, that’s not the point of having kids. Had kids to have a family and to grow some independent adults so they could have lives of their own.
- Comment on With regards to cutlery, do you prefer a spoon or a fork for eating cake? 2 months ago:
A dainty little fork, for most cakes. I make easy cakes not fancy cakes though. Ricotta cake, yogurt cake, pineapple upside down cake. Not so fluffy, more springy. Sort of a cornbread recipe, modified to make different cakes. So often it’s reasonable to cut a wedge and just eat it without a utensil.