RBWells
@RBWells@lemmy.world
- Comment on What is your age range for dating? 🤔 😮 9 hours ago:
In theory maybe 10 years in either direction (I’m old) but in practice I’ve only had long term relationships with guys within a couple years of my age.
Lovers between times, for whatever reason I always ended up with younger guys, that seemed to be the people into me, but still never more than 10 years difference.
When I was your age? One or two years at most. Absolutely not anyone much older or younger, no.
- Comment on Why do some people hate drinking water? 2 days ago:
I don’t understand this either, but if you don’t like plain water, there are ways to make it taste different. Squeezed lemon in water is delicious, fizzy water is nice, there’s always Crystal Light, lol.
I love so many drinks but if I could only have one, iced water is it. It’s the best drink of all and goes with every food.
- Comment on what would it take for you to take back a partner who cheated on you ? 3 days ago:
The circumstances.
If it wasn’t a situation where it was a recurring character trait thing, but one time, unusual circumstances, quickly disclosed, STD tested before we did it again, and if we’d been together a long time first.
Now, having said that - I don’t think infidelity comes out of nowhere, if it’s not a person who just always will cheat, there are usually problems leading to it. So it’s unlikely to work out. But I might be willing to see if it could.
- Comment on *pat pat pat* 3 days ago:
Carlos for scale.
- Comment on [deleted] 3 days ago:
I don’t think you are crazy for not wanting to drive, but don’t think it’s a good idea to quit because of the accident, either. Your dad is right, everyone does get on an accident eventually. I had a very bad one that totalled my car (someone ran a stop sign) and the trauma made me a bad driver for awhile, so watch out for that. But getting back behind the wheel, overcoming your fear and becoming a competent and comfortable driver is a life skill that will help you, even if you decide that you don’t want to have a car. The life skill of getting back in the saddle after a fall (metaphorically speaking) is an even more important life skill. But driving in particular really is helpful - I mostly bike now, but being able to drive well comes in handy at least weekly.
- Comment on What are some good places/activities where a middle-aged man can new make friends? 4 days ago:
You are in Dallas? The main redeeming quality of Texas is the music. I wholeheartedly agree with this suggestion.
Also going out to the same places at the same time can pay off, you will make acquaintances and some may become friends. I see a group of old guys at the cafe I go to for coffee, pretty sure they are only friends because they go get breakfast at the Cuban place and ended up talking and sitting together.
I will say though, almost all my friends I met as adult came from work or from them going out with someone in my family. The medium level friends you are probably looking for. Do you not have work?
- Comment on Anon's split personality 1 week ago:
I think you mean her vulva. It’s fine, good even, to wash the outside bits (though every time you pee seems hella excessive, like OCD levels of excessive) the vagina is the inside part.
- Comment on Anon considers LASIK 1 week ago:
Welcome to the USA.
She is planning to retire in a couple of years. Both of them say this is their last job.
- Comment on Anon considers LASIK 1 week ago:
Yeah it was unsettling.
My hope lies with science. Two women at my work had to have cornea replacement and both of them don’t need glasses at all anymore - one is 65 and one is 70.
And oh yes I was profoundly nearsighted and hard contacts gave me superhuman vision. They are the best correction by far. But I am really hoping that good artificial corneas are available soon.
- Comment on Anon considers LASIK 1 week ago:
Yeah it was unsettling.
My hope lies with science. Two women at my work had to have cornea replacement and both of them don’t need glasses at all anymore - one is 65 and one is 70.
And oh yes I was profoundly nearsighted and hard contacts gave me superhuman vision. They are the best correction by far. But I am really hoping that good artificial corneas are available soon.
- Comment on Anon considers LASIK 1 week ago:
I was a very early adopter, as soon as lasik came out I got it, the radial-k that preceded it couldn’t handle my prescription. It’s regressed over the intervening 30 years, but even now I wear thin light glasses and can at least sort of see without them.
You know what sold me on this, even though the vision isn’t as good as I could get with hard contacts? My mom had to go back to glasses after wearing contacts for years because the contacts wore away her corneas! At least the glasses I have to wear at this age are only like a -2 prescription, that’s much more comfortable than what they would have been.
- Comment on Why do some people say "I wouldn't want a government to dictate what I eat"? This would mean they'd be against food safety regulations, would it not? 2 weeks ago:
I think it’s more like government can ban what can be sold as food and make advice. They can’t really stop you from drinking bleach or eating the grass in your yard or whatever. They can only prevent you from feeding it to someone else or selling it as food.
Meat isn’t a food that could be banned in the same way as, say, Red Dye #4 or force-hydrogenated fats or high fructose corn syrup. They could make farmers cull whole herds of cows if mad cow broke out i guess, but there are wild hogs, backyard chickens and goats, it’s just not a controllable food.
- Comment on want to be a woman 2 weeks ago:
I have a trans son, and this is on the list of side effects if they use T, the loss of female sexual response. Though it’s my understanding that testosterone drives libido in women too, I guess it’s a dosage thing.
To be honest, mine vary in intensity but yeah the most intense are sort of like going crazy for a short while, can’t form words.
- Comment on Why do people care so much that their friend or family member’s partner is attractive and not just loving? 2 weeks ago:
Ah, I see, you want to be the pretty one in the relationship ;)
Your dad needs to get over it, I can’t imagine saying anything like that to any of my kids.
- Comment on [deleted] 2 weeks ago:
I would personally be squicked out by that age gap because she’s young enough to be your kid. But I’m not you or her, it’s not my business, right? If your daughter thinks she’ll be good for you, the reverse matchmaking is funny, why not at least meet and see how you feel?
- Comment on Amazing. 2 weeks ago:
They do not do deposit returns here anymore, but even so, most neighborhoods I’ve lived, people come look through the recycling for aluminum cans to scrap. So I would set them on the side in a tote instead, it was always such old people, moving slowly down the road with a rolling cart. This neighborhood is apparently too bougie for that, even though as far as I can tell we still are never more than 2 blocks from at least one homeless person.
- Comment on Anon measures up 2 weeks ago:
Yeah. I actually do like big, occasionally. But also I like everyday sex, and with big guys you need some time between to heal & recover. This is NOT an advantage. Guys seem to think bigger is better, full stop. That’s just not true.
- Comment on Anon measures up 2 weeks ago:
Is that not an ideal size for most? It seems so. Don’t think anyone should say they are packing “only 5.5”, that’s at least average, maybe more. Preferences vary of course, but this seems a crowdpleaser size.
- Comment on I'm gay and I dunno what it means 3 weeks ago:
That is so normal. Come visit !curlyhair@lemmy.world
I have curly at at the crown, wavy at the sides, near straight at the nape. It all looks like loose curls if I style it.
Still would take this over straight hair any day.
- Comment on how did you and your partner change after having a baby? 3 weeks ago:
I run pretty hot usually, good sex drive, but nursing absolutely dampened that down to below zero. Plus sex is frightening after birth. Plus having kids hanging on you all the time can certainly make you long for some space with nobody touching you, and a guy asking for sex on top of that can feel like an obligation. Again - I am saying this as someone who literally has sex every day most of the time, and pregnancy made sex feel even better. Nursing killed my sex drive. YES it passes, assuming your kids are healthy, they are easier over time, and eventually even somewhat helpful. Once that babyhood was over, I’d say they were stressful in the way a second job is - it’s just more of everything.
Overall I would say kids were good for the relationship, we stayed together and happier because of them. My ex was helpful as a dad, wanted kids, as I did. Kids are hands down the best work I’ve done in my life, nothing else comes close. But it is stressful as fuck, yes. Especially at the start.
- Comment on [deleted] 3 weeks ago:
Obese is just a medical term. BMI is a height to weight ratio so it’s accurate in that way. It does miss as a measure of over-fat vs. overweight, but more often in the other direction (fat people with normal BMI) but it can err in the other direction sometimes, sure.
The easiest and most accurate way to tell if you are over-fat is waist to height ratio. Your waist circumference should be less than half your height. So if you are 180cm, waist needs to be less than 90cm. This is the only stat that’s been a reliable predictor for health problems from too much fat (because it’s the torso fat that’s more problematic health-wise)
The other thing to remember is that the risk curve for underweight is steep but for overweight it’s shallow - a couple extra kg has almost no extra health risk.
- Comment on I'm gay and I dunno what it means 3 weeks ago:
I think partly this is because flattening the hair at home is difficult and you don’t get great results. I actually put some effort into my natural hair (gel, scrunch, diffuse dry) to get it to look good curly, and the only other way it looks really good is professional blowout to bouncy straight not swingy straight.
Or maybe it’s because wavy hair rocks! I do think curly and wavy, kinky, any hair with texture is livelier than the smooth and straight hair. Like, curly hair is individual and straight hair is standardized.
- Comment on I'm gay and I dunno what it means 3 weeks ago:
Honestly it just looks like before sex hair and after sex hair. Or someone with straight hair immediately after curling it vs. 5 minutes later. So if he cheats on the somewhat touseled hair person with the I Just Did My Hair person, he’ll just end up with a somewhat touseled hair person again. Maybe even if he goes to coffee with the picture #2, when she leaves she will have the hair in the first image.
- Comment on You just want a break sometimes 4 weeks ago:
My job is ok, but I swear every day I wake up glad I don’t have to go to school. At least work pays me, and the people I work with are great. But even when we were desperately poor I still liked it better than childhood. Even an illusion of choice (as hexesofvexes puts it) is preferable to the tight constraints of childhood. Even when I had nothing but what fit in my purse, no home, no money that felt better, sort of free; now with a house and family I feel like we have luxury, kids, dogs, cats, garden. Lifestyle. All of adulthood, even the sucky parts, feel like my life to live, childhood did not.
- Comment on [deleted] 4 weeks ago:
I grew up with the kids of the original set of Cuban refugees and thought it was because they were the rich people fleeing Castro. So they were already aligned with the right here,they like the idea of being on the upper side of a class divide.
The newer ones may just be anti -abortion, there are a lot of those “single issue voters” everywhere not just here.
- Comment on Paneraverse 4 weeks ago:
Nah, it’s the fates. One to spin, one to measure, one to cut.
- Comment on Pedestrians Walking on Right or Left? 4 weeks ago:
Walk against the traffic, bike with the traffic.
- Comment on [deleted] 4 weeks ago:
I am a parent of adults and really just want them to meet their own standards for themselves. My mom was the same. Sure I’d like grandkids, but not to the point I would ask! Their lives are for them to live.
If you are asking about little kids, it’s because they are exhausting. We went out to get tacos and there was the cutest little boy running around yelling “va! va!”. How delightful for us but I’m sure his mom was tired of it, it was 8pm. I am sure she would be happy if he would just st sit down and eat now.
- Comment on [deleted] 4 weeks ago:
Not if you already know how to drive, no. My kid who was motivated to use my car learned easily, and I learned it in a day when the rest of the people I was with were too drunk to drive.
But learning to drive in a new country? And manual at the same time? That seems more difficult. Can you practice here first? Does anyone you know drive stick?
- Comment on You just want a break sometimes 4 weeks ago:
I will take being an adult with responsibility over being a child any day. All I remember is ennui and a trapped feeling. School sucked so bad, and no control over your own life. I want to know what sort of idyllic childhood the people who write this stuff had? I wasn’t abused or anything, it just sucks being a kid.