RBWells

@RBWells@lemmy.world

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The thing about the 80s is that all these people were under 18.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩:

  What’s funny to me is that I looked 20ish when I was about 12 (didn’t even have my period yet), like got mistaken for a teacher in 7th grade, but looked about 20 when I was 20 as well. It slowed way down. And now people seem to think I don’t look as old as I am (I think I do, by definition) so it wasn’t acceleration, we are part of the group aging more slowly.

  High school kids now are like when I went. Some look like they should be in elementary school, some look like they are full adult. More of them are fat, but otherwise it’s very similar.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨People who live in hot climates, how do you deal with the heat?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Where I live (West Central Florida) we get (weather -wise) a winter and a summer, summer is longer and hot and wet.

  The hot I grew up in, so am adapted I suppose, didn’t have air conditioning till I was 23. So I can be still in the shade and pretty comfortable. If I have to exercise or work in the yard I do it in the morning, early, because afternoon is the rainy time, and if it doesn’t rain it is too hot to be safe. All swim lessons and summer weddings are in the morning, nobody tries to schedule outdoor stuff in the afternoons if they live here. Stupid government refused to give workers heat protection protection. Kids have to do heat safety training for sports in school, learn what heat exhaustion looks like and how to hydrate safely.

  I LOVE our rainy summers though. It is beautiful in its own way, the morning getting hotter then the storms, all the lightning and rain to cool it off, then the most beautiful heat lightning in the nights, whole sky flashing far away, and the bolts as well.

  And I guess I’d ask how do people survive in places where it freezes for months on end? You can’t grow anything in the winter, and don’t the pipes freeze and burst? Is it bad for the roads and bridges? Do the homeless freeze to death? The squirrels? What about reptiles, snakes and lizards?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨May not be the right place but here it goes. One of my brothers passes or get extremely tired if he sees porn. Even a sex scene in a movie he has to go lay down. Is there something wrong with him?⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  GP

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon goes on a first date⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  For me it’s more that I wouldn’t want a guy who spent all the free hours we have just sitting in front of a screen. I love me some animation of all sorts, also into comics, and would like a guy into games meaning like a few hours a week, it’s very cool if we don’t like all the same things. But- I watch maybe 3 hours of TV a week total, and only gaming is Pokemon Go while taking a walk. Would just want someone with some more active habits, if everything they liked involved sitting in a dark room that’s not going to be a good match. One thing I like about my husband is that he works out every day, walks the dogs, is active physically.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I am unobservant⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  A lot. 4 that I had plus 5 I married into, some of those 5 my husband had adopted, some he’d spawned. Some were already grown when we got together though, so we didn’t have them all in the house (or car) at once.

  It’s nice now they are grown because the kids have a good network of siblings and boyfriend/girlfriends, they hang out together and get along, help each other.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I am unobservant⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  It’s so funny, my kids split out exactly half and half, one half of them I could have driven to Miami before they realized we weren’t headed to school, and the other half, if I took a different route would scream “you are going the wrong way!”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How rare is it for people to live without anger?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  As I get older, I am angry less often, you gain perspective with time, but have never been quick to anger - it takes awhile for me to get mad, it’s not a reflex. Like you, anxiety is closer to the surface for me. I don’t think most people are usually mad, because I know a couple of them and it’s notable and unusual.

  I don’t think anyone is never angry, it’s appropriate sometimes.

  The news cycle feeds on outrage, and news is not an accurate representation of the world even when it’s true and accurate news, because normal life isn’t news and doesn’t get reported on much.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨On Lemmy is it safe to create a community on a smaller scale when there are other communities already available of the same topic?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I don’t think that happens but it wouldn’t harm you. You could ask the mods of your server, though, right? It’s not a stupid question at all.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨On Lemmy is it safe to create a community on a smaller scale when there are other communities already available of the same topic?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I don’t personally think splitting a small audience makes sense, but if there is some reason you don’t like the existing group, that is different. Not sure why it would be unsafe, what are your concerns?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Is it wrong to not have a disabled child solely to avoid forcing the child to suffer their whole life?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  You write so well, hope you can find your way to a better time, and NOBODY is obligated to have children, full stop. No matter why they don’t want them. Not even the person who might birth the person who saves the world. Nobody. You don’t need an “acceptable” reason or to explain yourself to anyone. It’s your life.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Is it wrong to not have a disabled child solely to avoid forcing the child to suffer their whole life?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I don’t think it’s immoral, and I also don’t think it’s immoral to have the child. It’s more complicated than “disability” or “ability”, if you can handle the job and give that kid the best life they could have had, short or long, love them and see it through, that is not immoral. If you know you cannot, and it would wreck your life or be very detrimental to your already born kids, it’s certainly not immoral to abort the fetus and focus on what you can do.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How to wake up during nightmares?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Yeah, I think you are on the right track with sleep apnea then. Which can be life threatening, so not shocking your mind might be alarmed. This might be a question for a doctor.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How to wake up during nightmares?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  You know you are in a nightmare, as in you become lucid? I would thank my nightmare for letting me know I am dreaming. Not try to wake up. Try to make friends with it, to defuse the terror. That knowledge that it’s a dream is valuable. Have done this several times myself, but my nightmares aren’t necessarily about terrifying situations, it’s more like the fear comes first then my mind sort of builds around it. So everyday things can be terrifying in nightmares but in regular dreams I could be in objectively terrifying situations and not care, and particularly in lucid dreams that is true.

  Best of luck to you, may you have calm and restful sleep.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Would you do Onlyfans if needed the money?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Selling yourself is not an easy job. If you can, then sure, go for it. But for each person making thousands there are thousands of people making pennies.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨what exercises work for you to avoid back pain?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Yoga in general and deadlifts are what I do. Back extension in both directions laying on your belly on a bench is good for strengthening it safely, start with small range of motion and extend it as you can.

  Remember a few things - we spend more time bent forward than back, so make sure to strengthen the back in the arched direction as well. The whole body is connected so develop it in a balanced way. And move in every direction (intentionally). That last one is what yoga is so good for.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon's PC works⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I showed this to my penultimate daughter, who coopted my (literal 2014) Dell PC, the only thing I’d ever done to it was add memory, it is a beast still. Said “look, your 4chan twin” and she cracked up. But if she does not steal it when she moves out I will probably be able to get ten more years out of it.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What's the deal with male loneliness?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I do think the loneliness epidemic affects men more than women, and would argue it’s sexism harming men. On average, women are more likely to reach out, talk to people and family will check in on them if they are alone. Like, my husband (who is more outgoing than me and better at keeping up with friends) will call his mom or go up to see her, but leaves his dad alone unless he literally asks for something. Because men are taught it’s shameful to not be self sufficient, but women are taught to look for help if we need it.

  Obviously this is not a straight gender split but on average it still plays out that way.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I never realized this⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Yeah, my mom said she didn’t care about taking my dad’s last name, that it didn’t matter since, in her words “women don’t have last names anyway” they are just a way of tracing men’s family lines.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon visits America⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  There are other places to eat, though? Why travel and get fast food? Get something local - anything that is a nationwide chain is nonsense, the US is too big to have one cuisine.

  Here, get a Cuban sandwich, black beans, and fried plantains. You will still have enough for two meals, they aren’t wrong about the portions, but at least it will be good.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Nom nom⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I got a zero on a math test in second grade because I said “the bigger number is on the bigger side” instead of “the crocodile wants to eat the bigger number”, fuck you 2nd grade math teacher who made me hate math by being the thought police.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I will spend Christmas alone⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Well wishing you happy Christmas anyway, Friendless, and if what you want for Christmas is a friend I hope you find one this year!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Are there people without handedness?⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I mean, depending on the task, I have felt this. There are sometimes things I can’t figure out which hand to use because both feel wrong. Not often. Guitar feels like that for me.

  I also read that as we get older, we become less “handed” and it’s not because we become ambidextrous just less dextrous overall, the dominant hand loses dexterity.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I'm pretty sure all of us have given up on any boomer giving us anything anyway⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  What a benevolent view of rich people. Not sure I share it. Some subset of them probably fit this mold but plenty got rich wrecking the environment, deferring and externalizing costs that ought to have been borne by the business. Not leaving a better world for others to enjoy. So they extracted wealth from society and instead of that $ going towards mitigation of those damages they pass it to their kids and leave the cleanup for the rest of us.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I'm pretty sure all of us have given up on any boomer giving us anything anyway⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I still don’t get it. So, he benefits from society, then the ethical thing to do is to set up his own family not the society he benefits from?

  To a wife of that time, I understand - that is someone who did unpaid labor for decades so that he could have a career. So that money, yes she helped earn it.

  I dunno, something about the whole system offends me. Taking more than you need, then directing the excess to your own kids. If literally every family could do it, sure. But how it works now just attenuates inequality.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I'm pretty sure all of us have given up on any boomer giving us anything anyway⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I wholeheartedly agree with that - what we need is not a system of generational wealth being passed down particular families, but an economic system that spreads it out better.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon is SpongeBob⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Yeah but I think “marriage” like that was a lot different from what we consider it to be now. More of a way to link families, not love matches or even “teams” on their own. Like it wasn’t for them, they were resources parents traded around in marriages and also fosterings, right?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon is SpongeBob⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I used to think the women of the past were all married young or spinsters, from reading little house on the prairie and other books. But looked up my ancestors on that Mormon website and was surprised to find that most were 28, 29. Even going pretty far back. This was mostly the US (and this area before unification) and southern Europe though, don’t know that it can be extrapolated. I just didn’t expect it.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I'm pretty sure all of us have given up on any boomer giving us anything anyway⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Yeah but how did they get it, and who will get it when they die? It’s like a feedback loop.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I'm pretty sure all of us have given up on any boomer giving us anything anyway⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  My mom just wanted to make enough to spend it over her lifetime, and that seems fair to me. She got nothing from her parents and had to support her own mom in her old age, and didn’t want to cost us anything.

  I would argue that inheritance is a huge driver of inequality. I have gotten small amounts from the estate of my dad’s parents (my dad died when I was 16) and a childless relative and even those amounts jumped us ahead some, I can imagine what some huge amount unearned would do - but it’s just that. Unearned.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How would you describe a power-lifter-type physique specifically?⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Fit and padded. I think if you call it a powerlifter build that’s a good description in itself.