RBWells
@RBWells@lemmy.world
- Comment on If you’re a tall and skinny woman, do sized up hold ups and pantyhose look good on you? 2 days ago:
I was quite skinny but 5’9" and not so leggy. If they are thigh highs I’d buy your regular size and just let them end a little lower, that looks good. 35" hips on 6’ sounds like you may want to exercise though?
I know that’s not what you are asking! But I bulked and went from 32-30-33 to 38-31-42, and my legs went from 18" to 23". So more conventionally ‘pretty’ proportions and people still seem to think I am lean and slender.
- Comment on Why people's smiles turn upside down with age? 2 days ago:
Oh the chubby cheeks to jowls slide is real, and I think that’s part of it. Also lower teeth showing more than upper.
- Comment on no title 3 days ago:
No car picture? There is always a picture of the guy sitting in his car. Always.
- Comment on Are mood problems a “turn off” for people even when they’re hard to manage? 4 days ago:
Yes. Especially if you are not even working on it and just say “that’s how I am”, because it implies a complete disregard for how your actions (actions, not feelings) affect other people.
It’s exhausting to be around someone who is always angry. That doesn’t mean there is nobody who would “like you for you” but it will limit your potential pool of friends a lot, yes.
- Comment on Is it possible to get/train a carrier pigeon today? 5 days ago:
I was walking in the neighborhood recently and passed a guy putting a pigeon in a high up box in his yard. It was such a an odd thing that I wasn’t sure what was going on, and mentioned to my daughter that I thought this guy was keeping pigeons, and she said “because you saw him KEEPING PIGEONS?” Which I guess is fair, it just was so weird I wasn’t sure!
I don’t know if he uses them to send messages, but some people certainly have them at least as pets.
- Comment on Anon discovers a new diet 1 week ago:
This is absolutely a real thing. I had a calorific breakfast sandwich for breakfast this morning, a diet coke for lunch, it’s been 8 hours, not close to hungry yet. My kids think it’s odd, that I should be hungry at lunch regardless but I think that’s the way appetite is supposed to work, they just haven’t quite stopped growing yet.
That’s why people will see a skinny person eating a whole pizza and think “WTF”? They don’t see that the person is then full until next day lunchtime or whatever.
My husband says if you push past that and eat (he bulked once) that your appetite adjusts and you get bigger and hungrier. But bodies generally want to sort of stay the size they are, so don’t signal “eat, dammit!” if you have funded it enough to maintain.
- Comment on Ringing the devil's doorbell 1 week ago:
If she doesn’t know how to please herself, you are gonna have a hard time figuring it out. Plus if you get to 25 or however old and haven’t, do you even have a sex drive? This is the worst marriage advice I’ve ever heard.
- Comment on If I’m mostly attracted to men, is it «wrong» to consider myself pan? 1 week ago:
You can identify however you want and I think pansexual is correct because you are attracted to the person not their gender, you just lean straight.
- Comment on if you wear pantyhose, doesn't it hurt your belly? where do I buy low rise pantyhose? 1 week ago:
Hmm, I don’t wear pantyhose but as a tall-ish woman with a long rise (distance between crotch and waist) I do sometimes have problems with allegedly high waisted garments that are too small in the waist because they are trying to close around my hipbones. That is wildly uncomfortable, yes. But if they are really so high waisted that they reach my natural waist, they are so comfortable.
So I think your pantyhose are just too small in some dimension, maybe try a bigger size or see if you can find some that are labeled “tall”.
- Comment on [deleted] 1 week ago:
Here is a list of the top 5 most litigious countries by capita:
- Germany: 123.2/1,000 2. Sweden: 111.2/1,000 3. Israel: 96.8/1,000 4. Austria: 95.9/1,000 5. U.S.: 74.5/1,000. The Top 10 also includes the UK (64.4); Denmark (62.5); Hungary (52.4); Portugal (40.7); and France (40.3).
- Comment on Be honest. Your first thought was would this be an advantage or disadvantage during masturbation 1 week ago:
One handed touch typing. Piano playing. Palming a basketball. Horror movie actor. So much non masturbation potential.
- Comment on I'm suppose to believe I now live in a world where a Democrats can become president agoant and put George Soros at the head of DOGE? 1 week ago:
Yeah. I am old so have watched this game a long time.
- Comment on I'm suppose to believe I now live in a world where a Democrats can become president agoant and put George Soros at the head of DOGE? 1 week ago:
Well, not the DOGE part. But yeah, I think that a dem sweep in the midterms is possible. And that a Democrat could win, assuming there is an election. The people who staff the polling places are community members, and you can still run for local office if you want to, and try to make your way up.
- Comment on Can I lose a beer belly working out one day a week? 1 week ago:
Is there any chance that you have dysmorphia, not a gut? 130 at 5’7" for a guy sounds pretty thin, even if out of shape, and the description of your diet sounds like you are certainly eating to maintain only 130, not a metabolism thing. Husband is 5’9 and said he was skinny at 145, I am same height and was skinny at 125, like really very slender. So we are close to your height and think you probably want more lean mass not less fat.
I do stand by the previous advice, something vigorous in the morning and heavy weights as often as possible. There are a couple of things you have to prioritize so they will happen. Exercise is one of them. Besides the 5am runs, I have done 9pm gym sessions, 5:30 am jazzercise, find the time and don’t let go of it. Once it’s a habit you will feel better on a workout day than an off day.
But you may have to eat more, not less, and lift to get the result you want.
- Comment on Can I lose a beer belly working out one day a week? 2 weeks ago:
Anything helps, of course. Anything is so much better than nothing.
You are skinnyfat, yes? You don’t want to lose weight, you want to add lean mass. Weights are what do that best. Ideally you would want to lift heavy at least thrice a week if you are trying to shape up.
I can only lift once a week lately (lady, mid 50s) but do yoga 4x/week too. It’s maintaining me reasonably lean.
I have been where you are (single working parent) and what I did back then was wake up at 5am and run, because that was the only time of day nobody needed anything from me, and running is nearly free, just shoes. It sucked, but the days I ran I did feel better later on, it was worth it overall I think. If there is any way you can wake up a half hour earlier and do something vigorous, and then add weight training once a week I think you will get good improvement. Just maybe not as much mass as you ideally want.
- Comment on [deleted] 2 weeks ago:
I did this through high school by listening in class, the teachers explained the material then assigned homework, which I did not do, then tests, which I crushed with near 100% accuracy, then got a C grade in most classes because I don’t do the work, only the tests. Also tested out of the first year of college. Was just good at taking tests I guess.
In university though - I did have to study and do the homework to ace the exams. That was more specialized (accounting).
- Comment on Why do some people assume all immigrants are illegal and should "go back to where they came from"? Shouldn't that logic apply to all non-Native Americans? 2 weeks ago:
Yeah these guys are radicalized extremists.
You can’t tell if someone is “legally” in the U.S. by looking at them. You can’t tell if someone was born here by looking at them. You would think racism would be separate from the immigration panic because there is no way to tie looks to immigration status, but instead the logic is thrown out the window.
My friend told me once “when a guys life goes to shit he looks for someone to blame.”. These particular guys have blamed some nebulous idea of “illegal immigrants” instead of women, or communists or whatever.
- Comment on Why do some laws exist if everyone is expected to just break them? 2 weeks ago:
On the highways here, the original speed limit of 55 was to save our nation’s resources, not just “55 to stay alive” but also it was an efficient speed to maintain and still pretty fast.
Inside the city it works much better to make drivers feel unsafe going fast. Narrower lanes, speed bumps, roundabouts, etc.
In answer to your actual question - some laws are just old and haven’t been unwound yet and others are used as pretext for profiling, police (or,n more properly whoever is running them) like to be able to stop people for no reason but that can be seen as illegitimate, so they keep laws that everyone breaks, jaywalking, etc to have an excuse.
I don’t think there is any one law everybody breaks really but also no person who has lived perfectly law abiding life.
- Comment on Anon watches The Terminator 3 weeks ago:
- Comment on Medical Industrial Complex 3 weeks ago:
I do schedule my wellness visits when leaving my wellness visits so yes, a year in advance. Just in case, and so that I will do it. But can get in for urgent care if needed, same or next day. And stuff like prescriptions they can often do online without an appointment if it’s an ongoing one. About a month wait for non urgent specialist care, sometimes two-three (that is often because I refuse to travel to outlying areas though, so wait for a local appointment)
And I do NOT live in any sort of medical desert. Lots of doctors offices here, probably more than most similar size cities. Several hospitals, a medical college, so many doctors.
It’s not worse than I remember it being in the 90s, I remember 6 months wait for dermatologist, months for pediatric orthopedic (there is an orthopedic urgent care though, which has saved us from going to emergency at least ten times) . I remember thinking back then that people who said “but in Canada they have to wait for care” were idiots, we wait here too!
- Comment on [deleted] 3 weeks ago:
Honestly one of the things I’m grateful for, is having had both rich family and very poor family. The thing about actually rich people is they don’t care, in my experience they are pretty gracious as long as you are relaxed. Dress to the absolute minimum of what is required (I’ve gotten away with $20 dresses and good shoes and nobody batted an eye.)
If you can keep the clothes, get stuff you like, negotiate for a spa day, get your hair done, keep the style very, very simple and outshine them all! You can do it!
Or you could decline the invite, if you aren’t interested in a fancy dress ball.
- Comment on "I know the perfect place for the ESP button! Right in front of the drivers knee!" 3 weeks ago:
Slide the seat back some, dude!
- Comment on Putting the die in diet 3 weeks ago:
I used to do that but lowering them into boiling water works a lot better for me, can get ramen eggs, soft, hard boiled, the timing somehow always works out even though they can’t possibly be going in at exactly the same temperature every time. The boil and wait 10 gets them too cooked.
I do also poke a hole in the empty end of the egg, with a pin, and this makes 'em easier to peel.
- Comment on Putting the die in diet 3 weeks ago:
You have boiled it too long then. Hard boiled doesn’t need to be taken literally as boiled until tough and rubbery. I aim for just past “jammy” yolks, the white completely set, the yolk fully cooked but only just. That is done by putting them in boiling water, 9 minutes or a little less, immediately cool by draining them filling the pot with ice.
- Comment on USA Question | How much is a dozen large eggs near you? 3 weeks ago:
Still not enough that I’m willing to get chickens. And probably still not as much as the real cost including currently externalized pollution costs. About $8 for the good ones. Around $5 for the factory farmed ones, but they are often sold out, the supply right now isn’t meeting the demand.
- Comment on I am in the US and its gotten very political but as pretty much a peon do I just tune the stuff out thinking its fear mongering? Or should I closely pay attention to it? 3 weeks ago:
That is not a stupid question. It’s no good to cause yourself crippling anxiety, you are less useful to yourself and to others then. And yes the news will always be presented in a way designed to cause outrage and fear, to keep you coming back.
That is not to say there is no reason to worry. But good to put a "budget " for news consumption and work on what you can personally change, rather than worrying about all the stuff you can’t. Being happy and helpful and not a bigot is a form of resistance too, and is a general thing you can do regardless of your current event knowledge.
- Comment on [deleted] 3 weeks ago:
Ok, if this is not a BDSM arrangement, tell him to fuck off. Respect is earned, not taken. I did make my kids say Ma’am and Sir to waiters and cashiers and teachers. Not me, we are family.
If you need an adoptive online family, I’ve so many kids, what’s one more?
If it is a BDSM arrangement, wow that is hot.
- Comment on People who live in hot climates, how do you deal with the heat? 4 weeks ago:
I’m from hot and have visited cold, and there are not enough clothes in the world to keep me warm if it’s cold enough. I just don’t seem to generate enough heat to warm them. I think we are just built differently - my husband is from colder area and when he works out he has to wait to cool down before showering, I have to wrap up so I don’t cool down too fast.
- Comment on [deleted] 4 weeks ago:
Is your dad the speaker of the house Mike Johnson?
- Comment on The thing about the 80s is that all these people were under 18. 4 weeks ago:
What’s funny to me is that I looked 20ish when I was about 12 (didn’t even have my period yet), like got mistaken for a teacher in 7th grade, but looked about 20 when I was 20 as well. It slowed way down. And now people seem to think I don’t look as old as I am (I think I do, by definition) so it wasn’t acceleration, we are part of the group aging more slowly.
High school kids now are like when I went. Some look like they should be in elementary school, some look like they are full adult. More of them are fat, but otherwise it’s very similar.
