Whoever came up with this has probably always used ‘optics first, actual results last’ in their shitty career so far.
Return to office propaganda floating around LinkedIn
Submitted 3 days ago by FenrirIII@lemmy.world to workreform@lemmy.world
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/6a7c55a9-2255-453a-a19b-cf36cfff101a.jpeg
Comments
Boozilla@sh.itjust.works 3 days ago
very_well_lost@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Considering this was made with AI, yes, absolutely
takeda@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 days ago
Fitting. LLM feels like working with that coworker that his core skills are actually convincing everyone (especially management) that he provides value, when in reality he drags everyone’s performance down.
InFerNo@lemmy.ml 3 days ago
Fake it til you make it
SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social 2 days ago
Fake it till others believe your bullshit.
soratoyuki@piefed.zip 3 days ago
Not having a conversation with my supervisor for months at a time is literally the dream.
GroundedGator@lemmy.world 1 day ago
If I didn’t have to explain the same exact shit I did last week in the 4th different way and have you still not understand, BUT still want to…
I appreciate that you want to understand, but I recognize you won’t and that is okay. You don’t need to know the details to take credit for the work. Your insistence to understand is wasting all of our time and most of my productivity.
DJKJuicy@sh.itjust.works 3 days ago
The secret to this is not believing in the promotion fairy.
If you want a promotion, apply for it at another company. If you get it, awesome, if you don’t, try at a 3rd company.
At my current job, the agreement is I do the job you hired me for, and you give me the money and benefits we agreed upon.
HubertManne@piefed.social 2 days ago
oh I believe in the promotion fairy. Just not the raise fairy.
Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 days ago
More responsibility, same salary…
Vanth@reddthat.com 3 days ago
Promoted twice since I last saw my boss in person. I asked him if would see any issue himself or for the company if I relocated myself back across the country closer to family; he was confused as to why I even asked.
He’s not even a particularly good boss in most ways, but tons of people want to work for him because he stays the fuck out of their way.
hayvan@piefed.world 3 days ago
he stays the fuck out of their way.
That’s like, 70% of good management.
vrek@programming.dev 3 days ago
What’s that old quote from some famous guy “I just surrounded myself with people who were smart and interested in the company success then got out of there way”… It was something like that
Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 3 days ago
Another 20% is keeping everyone else out of the way too.
Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 2 days ago
Another 25 is keeping other people out of your way also. The last 5? Going to bat for you when needed.
mabeledo@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Love it when they state so clearly that promotions are a byproduct of office politics, not actual work performance.
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 2 days ago
This isn’t exactly news.
But it also misses what a “promotion” means in theory (more autonomy and control, resources to pursue projects, underlings) versus what it means in practice (a token title change and a small raise with a ton of extra responsibility in an underperforming section of the firm).
So much of how you make progress in a business is to turn lemons into lemonade and sell that lemonade to your bosses.
nulluser@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Year 1: “incredibly productive”
Year 5: “not about the work”
I love how they freely admit that it has nothing to do with being good at your job and everything to do with schmoozing.
NekoKoneko@lemmy.world 3 days ago
All I see reading this is that managers and CEOs have never reached the object permanence phase of brain development, and need to be constantly visually reminded their employees exist or they’ll never promote them regardless of the work they do.
But then, I guess no manager of a multi-office company has had a team member in another location prior to COVID, so how could they possibly have planned for what to do in that situation.
shads@lemy.lol 2 days ago
My first thought was, how do you work at a company with literal toddlers at management level and above and expect it to end well? I just started at a job where my boss is planning on slowing down and stepping back. A key part of getting the job was a willingness to work independently and with little to no direct supervision.
But then my boss is in touch with his business and aware of what’s happening without having to actively spy on us. Also finding he loathes progress reports for the sake of progress reports. I’m still adjusting to no longer being actively micromanaged but it’s clear that I need to check in when something is too much for me or when it’s finished, anything else is wasting time.
angband@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Ding ding ding ding
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 days ago
Well ok then, in their own words, managers are incompotent morons who lack object permanence and have no idea how to gauge the usefulness or productivity or worth of any employee… without being able to invade their personal space and randomly question them.
Replace them with LLMs, LLMs would do a better job, these people don’t deserve to be paid anything.
Demdaru@lemmy.world 2 days ago
There was an experiment where they simulated LLM performing various company roles. The higher you put it, the more effective it was… xD
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 days ago
LLMs are great at being generalists.
They’d be better CEOs and VPs than most CEOs and VPs.
They read reports that more competent specialists make, and talk with other high level people who do the same.
AKA, they summarize complex data into a narrative and chat.
LLMs probably cost less than CEOs and VPs do.
So why are we trying to jam LLMs in to do the much more complicated jobs they are not so great at doing?
Oh, right, its because the owner class are delusional narcissistic sociopaths who just to feel appreciated and superior to others… and none of this is about making a better run company.
Its about enforcing a social caste system.
Godric@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Well ok then, in their own words, managers are incompotent morons who lack object permanence and have no idea how to gauge the usefulness or productivity or worth of any employee… without being able to invade their personal space and randomly question them.
Uhhhh… yeah? Have you never had a job before? XD
Half this thread is delusional raging against uncomfortable truths. Just because you dislike the reality before you isn’t a reason to pretend it doesn’t exist.!
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 days ago
… Your comment doesn’t make any sense.
You act as if its very obvious that managers are btoadly like this. Yes, ok, we agree on that.
But, if you think these are real behaviors from many managers… then raging against them is not delusional.
Also… as opposed to only raging… I proposed a practical plan of action… replace these idiot managers with LLMs. This is essentially the opposite of pretending the problem does not exist.
Are you perhaps suffering from heat exhaustion, or are you normally this stupid?
stumu415@lemmy.zip 2 days ago
LinkedIn is such wanker filled trash
KingPorkChop@lemmy.ca 2 days ago
Year 3: From your home office, you spearhead multiple high level projects which triple the billable hours of your department. You are not in the office enough to lick the asshole of your manager so Bob the intern gets the promotion. Bob will be paid entry level salary and really knows how to get the tongue deep in that brown hole.
Year 4: Enough is enough. You quit that stupid job and secure a job with a company that values performance based promotions and raises. No one knows anything about your projects and when you leave they whither on the vine.
Year 5: You run into Bob at the pub. He says management converted the office to AI and everyone got fired.
Year 6: You chuckle when you drive by that company you used to work for and find the building is now for lease and the company is in bankruptcy.
sludgewife@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 days ago
nobody connects to it the four days
WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT I HATE THIS WORLD
ParlimentOfDoom@piefed.zip 2 days ago
It’s trying to claim that the reason they got the promotion was they were physically in the building more than others. Because being seen is more important than doing the job
AmyAye@nord.pub 2 days ago
“You got the promotion, yet somehow your quality of life is shittier because you are spending 1/4th of your net pay on gas and eating out and child care and you had to get rid of your dog because you are not around enough to properly handle an animal, plus you have 10 hours less free time during the week because of your commute.”
M0oP0o@mander.xyz 2 days ago
And let’s be fair, no one is getting the promotion.
andyburke@fedia.io 2 days ago
Ah ... a participation trophy based business strategy.
Don't to to the office. People who think up shit like the above are there.
CaptainMan251@lemmy.world 2 days ago
If it isn’t about the work then TF is it about?
I go to work for MONEY. You pay to make you MONEY. For me to make you money, you need me to WORK
It is about the work.
Now pay me more
_stranger_@lemmy.world 2 days ago
It’s about an AI generated sense of accomplishment.
StupidBrotherInLaw@lemmy.world 2 days ago
It’s not wrong, but what it describes is ethically wrong in my opinion. Raises and promotions are less about work performance and more about performative theatre. Being chummy with management is often a better predictor of upward career trajectory.
Pyr_Pressure@lemmy.ca 2 days ago
Upper management isn’t only about the work.
Yeah you can do the work, but also probably the person in the office can also do the work.
If the person in the office is the one interacting with the upper management more and the work is being done equally well between them and some unknown person that works remotely why would they hire the person you do not know?
The management position / next level probably entails more people skills and dealing with people so someone you have hardly ever spoken to might not have those skills but the person in the office they know can at least deal with people well.
trem@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 days ago
With the comic style plagiarized here, I fully expected throwing a baby to be one of the steps…
Duke_Nukem_1990@feddit.org 2 days ago
Year 3: I get a new job that values my output instead of my physical location.
Year 4: I still laugh about the morons in managment.
solidus@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Got it. Show up to work so you can kiss your bosses ass often and in person so that they give you a promotion solely based on your in person ass licking.
Sounds to me like a broken system that promotes based on the wrong metrics…
solidheron@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
Only way your gonna get anywhere is if you eat ass
Reddfugee42@lemmy.world 2 days ago
I’m fully remote but I still have meetings and chat with my coworkers and boss all the time. I guess I’m doing it wrong 😅
jagermo@feddit.org 2 days ago
Yes, but did you get “The Promotion” or just a raise??!??
belunos@lemmus.org 3 days ago
I’ve been wfh for like a year now and just got promoted to cloud engineer. I’m good, thanks
morto@piefed.social 3 days ago
No, you shouldn’t feel good. Just think about the promotionest promotional promotion you would get promoted into if you you showed up in person! Someone out there got it instead!
/s just in case
riskable@programming.dev 3 days ago
So… You still working on rain or have you been promoted to snow?
Wait: You’re not one of those sleet people, are you?
fluffykittycat@slrpnk.net 2 days ago
How’s cloud engineer? I’m going into IT and I wanna know more about diffrent paths
duckwingthegoose@lemmy.world 2 days ago
I’ve been work from home for 10 years now and ive gotten numerous promotions. I do travel a good bit (once every other month) where I get face to face time with coworkers, but that certainly hasn’t always been the case. I guess what I’m trying to say is that info graphic is absolutely bullshit.
sunsofold@lemmy.zip 3 days ago
It’s real, but it frames it as though it’s the employees fault for not doing self-promotion rather than the manager’s fault for not keeping track of all the team members it’s his job to support.
VoodooAardvark@lemmy.zip 2 days ago
100% shitty management - remote workers force managers to do more than just float around an office having hallway conversations.
explodicle@sh.itjust.works 2 days ago
They don’t show the alternative where he spent the commuting time applying for jobs.
Squizzy@lemmy.world 3 days ago
I am on year four on fully remote. I got a promotion. Its remote.
jaschen@lemmy.world 2 days ago
I quit 2 jobs that had a RTO. One was Salesforce when they acquired Slack. The other was another software company that I still have an NDA with.
I’m never going back into the office. I rather make less money.
What’s interesting is that I’m actually making more money doing remote because I don’t need to commute or pay for lunches or happy hours anymore. Actual time spent at work calculated, I’m making 40% more $.
LibertyLizard@slrpnk.net 3 days ago
Do companies even still promote people? I’ve never seen major raises without having to switch jobs anywhere I’ve worked.
lemmyng@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Because those employers are hoarding the money that would go towards a raise, only shoveling it into the maws of their CEOs and shareholders.
CileTheSane@lemmy.ca 2 days ago
Year 1: incredibly productive
So if productivity is up why are we going up hybrid in the first place?
mechoman444@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Everything in that meme is categorically untrue and complete nonsense.
TemplaerDude@sh.itjust.works 2 days ago
Jesus Christ, capitalists are fucking unhinged with their bullshit.
ceenote@lemmy.world 3 days ago
I like the admission that promotions have nothing to do with fitness or performance.
cattywampas@lemmy.world 3 days ago
I’ll probably get downvoted, and your mileage may vary, but it’s possible that being visible and in-person with your coworkers increases your chances of getting a raise or promotion.
In a perfect world it wouldn’t make a difference if your performance is good in a remote position, but humans are not perfectly logical and rational creatures. There’s going to be bias and emotion involved when it comes to giving promotions.
DeLancre@piefed.social 3 days ago
but it’s possible that being visible and in-person with your coworkers increases your chances of getting a raise or promotion.
On my current job for about 2 years, I had 2 promotions. Both times I had to literally go to my boss and tell “for current payrate and for current set of responsibilities, you can go fuck yourself, I’m out”. Only after that I got promoted. Doubt it will work third time, so I actively look for new job.
Point is - no one in our company gets promotions, no matter if you literally suck CEO dry (CEO is a “she”, so that would be at least funny to watch) or if you freelancer that no one seen in office even once (me).
and your mileage may vary
Maybe I’m in this category tho, but feels like it’s global problem, judging by comments.
HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 2 days ago
I find it works better for staff to come in if they are still learning on a task. I am far more likely to get people to ask me and each other questions in person than over email and instant message.
I’ve literally given a job to two people, broken out the components on who would do what, told them to coordinate with each other, them found out later they never reached out to each other once. Then I had to get involved in redoing the task.
harmbugler@piefed.social 2 days ago
Yeah, I’d forgotten this aspect. I’ve been mostly fully remote for six years. Whenever I very occasionally work in the office, being knowledgeable on many of the things we work on, I get bombarded with questions all day.
vrek@programming.dev 3 days ago
One thing I noticed when people would call into a meeting and other people were in a room for same meeting, the computer screen was always shared so any data or presentation was shown to the call-in people but then someone in room would ask a question and the presenter would draw a diagram or a drawing on the white board and the call in person completely missed it.
Like a presenter would report data and say something like “the measurements of dimension 0.45 +/- 0.005 are trending upwards close to the control limit” and then someone in room asks “what is that dimension for”. The presenter would then go to the white board and draw a diagram. You might say can’t you just pull up the drawing on the computer and the answer in yes except for where 2 parts interact. You could pull up both drawings and kinda move mouse around like see this feature, then switch to second drawing, move mouse around second feature and be like feature one snaps into feature 2. Or draw a simple diagram in 30 seconds.
Protoknuckles@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Why wouldn’t there be a camera on the white board? Poor tech implementation.
Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 3 days ago
Or… You can use one of the many tools that meeting software providers that lets you draw on your shared screen. I’m pretty sure Teams solved this problem in at least 2022, possibly before.
farmgineer@nord.pub 2 days ago
Yeah, I’ve been remote for most of the last 20 years. Some people seem to lack object permanence and organization skills and completely forget that their remote coworkers/subordinates exist.
0ndead@infosec.pub 3 days ago
lol what a load of bullshit
zzffyfajzkzhnsweqm@sh.itjust.works 3 days ago
Happened to me… Except that before last step I quit.
Big_Boss_77@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Left a job of 10 years, project lead senior senior engineer, because fuckers FAFO’d an RTO. Of a team of 5, I was one they expected to stay because I was “close to the office”. I was the first one to find a new, full time remote job.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Mac@mander.xyz 2 days ago
AI bullshit!
SorryQuick@lemmy.ca 2 days ago
How is that bullshit? People do like to give promotions to other people they like, sometimes irrelevant of talent. Look at literally all non-democratic governments.
And it’s no secret random conversations not about work happen a lot more in person. These are the kind of conversations that make friendships, not the 1 on 1 with your manager on teams.
This is why most sane companies don’t force you to do 4 days but instead make it so that if you only have to do 2 days at the office, they’re the same 2 days of the week for everyone to avoid the situation in this post.
CileTheSane@lemmy.ca 2 days ago
So incompetent management promoting the people who suck up to them (their “friends”) rather than based on results and how well people are competing their tasks.
Sounds like a shit company/manager to work for. Better off finding another job.
Also, people tend to get promoted faster by switching employers. Don’t fall for the lie of “company loyalty”.
stickyprimer@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I’m sure there is a little truth to it sometimes but one big thing this ignores is that many of us have always had remote coworkers because our employer has multiple offices in different cities, countries, and continents around the world. I’m not worried about someone who’s in the office with my boss passing me by because that’s a tiny minority of everyone we work with anyway.
Interestingly, this is also why WFH has held up at the company where I work. Even when you go in to the office, you spend half the day on zoom. Our company has consolidated floors, closed whole offices and entire campuses to reduce the amount of real estate it pays to maintain. There’s a lot of savings in it for them. And our CEO has said that he likes how remote work makes it trivial to get the entire leadership team together for a conversation because they aren’t all flying around the world constantly, inaccessible for days at a time because they’re traveling. They do make in person visits, but don’t live on planes like they used to. They also did the math and they exceeded their 10 year goal for climate reduction overnight just by going to remote.
There are so many benefits for the company as well as the employees that I’m really confused why some companies go all RTO. Probably they just don’t have good systems in place to know who’s doing their job. We do.