riskable
@riskable@programming.dev
Father, Hacker (Information Security Professional), Open Source Software Developer, Inventor, and 3D printing enthusiast
- Comment on Not to get into a debate. If God is so omnipotent and above humans why does he or she have emotions? Like smiting or being upset or wrath? 3 weeks ago:
Boredom is an emotion. As is hunger.
- Comment on 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 3 weeks ago:
So that’s why I occasionally dozed off in there, despite taking ADHD medication and having plenty of sleep!
Also, it explains the microphone I found in my alarm clock years later.
Note: I really did find a microphone in my alarm clock years later! It had its own battery and was not spliced into the incoming power, which was, well… Amateurish!
Somewhere, out there, is hundreds of hours of audio recordings of me snoring. Or perhaps, the only remaining evidence of my superpower.
- Comment on 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 3 weeks ago:
I have ADHD, which means I have to go to a psychiatrist every three months to refill my prescription. It’s silly, really but required by law.
Before he died suddenly of an aneurysm, my former psychiatrist was fascinated with me. He said it was because I’m always so jovial… Which I understand now is something of an oddity at a psychiatrist’s office 🤣
Anyway, because if this, he would often give me tests and puzzles to develop “a baseline”. Apparently so he wouldn’t lose his own mind from the more extreme patients he often dealt with 😁
I signed his forms (it was all above board) and he’d test my reaction time, run me through various questionaires about my thoughts, and time how long it would take me to solve simple puzzles. Only challenging one was one of those “fold the boxes in your mind” tests which I assume I aced (that’s my jam!)
I didn’t mind at all! It was actually quite fun working with his staff and psychiatrists in training who were the ones who were always there, recording the results. I would make jokes like, “I’ve been practicing my jumping!” Then pretend to be disappointed that they were only going to ask me questions and not test my jumping ability.
I was the lab rat. Probably the control lab rat but it was still fun and interesting. The best perk was that when I walked into his office, the receptionist would notice me and send me right to the back. No matter how many people were sitting there, waiting.
There were snacks, but only for children ☹️
Now that I think about it, the various tests and questions could’ve been a ruse! They were actually testing my willpower, sitting next to bowls of mini packages of M&Ms and Reese’s the entire time! 🤔
Now I’m imagining his notes:
“Subject 294 still hasn’t taken or attempted to steal any candy. Despite timing his appointment precisely around lunch time and keeping him here for an extra half an hour. He’s still laughing and joking with the staff. I may have to order an ice cream machine.”
- Comment on I am against rape or rapists or any such type of action or person. But my mom who has a daughter. Keeps questioning why these women wait so long before coming out with it? 3 weeks ago:
Don’t forget this far-too-common reason:
- The person that raped you is a police officer.
It takes, “fear of reprisal” to a whole new level.
- Comment on Hacker group threatens to release Grand Theft Auto VI data in Rockstar Games attack 3 weeks ago:
Grand Theft Data
- Comment on ‘They want to keep denying us our rights’: workers in Vermont’s $5.4bn dairy industry fight for basic labor protections 3 weeks ago:
Good for them! Milk that job for all its worth!
- Comment on Just try to show them that you care 3 weeks ago:
For crying out loud!
- Comment on Lmao 3 weeks ago:
Jokes on us: Because of the gravity issue, alien life on such planets jumps right to stargate technology.
“They spent almost a thousand years fooling around with rockets!”
- Comment on Some things were better in the good old days 4 weeks ago:
Ah, the good old days when your “dumb” refrigerator would kill children playing hide and seek because the latch wouldn’t open from the inside. When it was lined with asbestos because that’s literally the best insulation that exists excepting aerogel. When the mercury thermostat would fail—leaking mercury on to your food (and aerosolizing some which would be breathed in as soon as you opened it)—and it would freeze everything inside, complete with an interior wall of snow that could take days to defrost. It used old school freon, destroying the ozone layer. Or before then, fun highly toxic gasses like methyl chloride!
Those were the days! When a breeze through the house on a day with wonderful weather could blow out the pilot light in your oven, slowly leaking gas into your house, exploding and destroying the entire home late at night while everyone is asleep.
Then the wonders of electricity came along to produce ovens that were hooked up to 220V lines without a grounding wire, and wiring that would slowly fail over time, eventually making contact with the metal frame, electrocuting anyone who touched the device—or anyone that touched the person touching it.
Ovens were built different “back in the day”! They didn’t have anti-tip brackets, resulting in loads of children sitting on the oven door, spilling boiling liquids down upon them.
The best were those old washing machines, though! You could lift up the lid and look inside to see your laundry spinning at high speeds! Just don’t reach your hand in, or you could find out what the term “degloving” means.
Ah yes, the good old days of appliances.
- Comment on Never doubt the commitment of horse-girl fans: Umamusume cosplayers are having actual races at tracks around the world 4 weeks ago:
Oh please. There’s nothing wrong with a bunch of girls horsing around.
- Comment on Can people tell sex of a dog just by looking at the dog? 5 weeks ago:
would it be awkward for one of them to misgender the other’s dog?
Story time!
I was on my way into PetSmart to pick up my dogs from a routine vet appointment when I saw a man standing on the sidewalk right in front of where I parked. He had a dog with him of a breed I’d never seen before (probably a mix of many). This dog looked super neat with a mostly white head with a cool black stripe over one eye.
“She’s a pretty dog!”
Him, looking actually angry: “He’s a male.” (Or something like that)
I then looked up at him and noticed he was wearing a MAGA cap. I didn’t notice before because his dog was so striking.
Without skipping a beat, I replied…
“It sucks being misgendered, don’t it?”
I don’t know if he was a bigoted, anti-trans asshole but he was wearing the uniform.
The look on his face was… Dumbfounded. Honest, I was hoping for shock and horror but it was good enough 👍
- Comment on Give the people what they really need 5 weeks ago:
Isn’t that just… Vinegar?
- Comment on Wrong answers only - what is this? 5 weeks ago:
Yeah!!! Damned fine use of that wall space and a great demonstration of your hard-won mad skillz 👍
- Comment on Wrong answers only - what is this? 5 weeks ago:
Like someone else stated, it was an EPIC pussy magnet that demonstrated your car audio prowess. Only a special few knew the secrets…
Photo of an RJ-9 to dual 1.8mm jack adapter
Photo of a car cassette audio aux adapter featuring a 1.8mm plug
- Comment on Wrong answers only - what is this? 5 weeks ago:
I recently stayed at a rental property that had this (actual photo):
Photo of a NuTone Intercom with a built-in CD player and FM tuner
I tried to get it working but none of the remote panels worked. They were all disconnected somehow (owner probably cut the wires to prevent shenanigans by guests cranking the volume then leaving it like that). The CD player worked (central panel only) but oddly, it couldn’t pick up any FM stations. It would tune to them (“scan” feature worked) but they only ever produced static. I suspect the capacitors used in the amplification circuit dried out or something got corroded after being in a “regular ocean salt spray” area (it was on a beach) for such a long time 🤷
- Comment on Wrong answers only - what is this? 5 weeks ago:
Wow! This brings back memories… It was a Soul Crusher: A primitive technology used to commune with the dead over long distances. I’ll explain…
These devices used the “Afterlife Toll” (AT) command set, invented by someone named “Hayes” which I believe was just a nickname or mistranslation of Hades. With the correct invocation, you could whisper into the great beyond. Here’s an example:
ATDT 6665551234Translated: “Afterlife Toll, Death Touch <helliphone number>”. After this invocation, the user would hear the pleasant sound of souls being crushed in order to make the afterlife connection.
Of course—due to the popularity of such devices—crushing souls over long distances could get expensive so a number of Incorporeal Service Providers (ISP) sprang up to make it cheaper and easier than ever to crush souls from anywhere.
Cool fact: This is where the term, “soul crushing machines” comes from! These days, soul crushing is fully automated and far beyond the measure of Beings Per Seance (BPS). Nearly every computer is shipped with an ethernet connection and practically everyone is walking around with devices that can commune over WIFI (Wailing Incorporeal Fidelity).
In fact, our Incorporeal Technology (IT) is so advanced, you can have a soul crushing experience from anywhere in the world at all hours of the day, every day!
- Comment on SUPERGIRL | Official Trailer 5 weeks ago:
Hollywood really is out of ideas.
Give more interesting writers and scripts a chance, losers!
No wonder no one wants to go to the movies anymore.
- Comment on Avoid back issues. Use your arms when lifting things 1 month ago:
These dudes could do pushups without using their arms.
- Comment on A Republican Farmer Relies on Immigrant Work. He Sees His Party Erasing It. 1 month ago:
“Come on! I know I joined the immigrant-hating party but I didn’t think they were going to hurt my form of immigrant exploitation! Indentured servants and slaves, people! Not deportation!”
- Comment on What is the probability that the atoms that I am made of once formed someone's penis? 1 month ago:
Well, if you were a pussy you wouldn’t have asked this question 👍
- Comment on 😐?? 1 month ago:
It will break down into mostly carbon dioxide and water after a 20-200 years depending on how much UV light hits it (and friction). There won’t be anything for worms to eat!
- Comment on 😐?? 1 month ago:
It was a joke! Dry humor.
- Comment on Me emitting 20KG of CO2 by using Google search to spellcheck individual words 1 month ago:
The core of the earth is very warm already though.
- Comment on 😐?? 1 month ago:
The second question is silly: “what makes a towel dirt?” Worms, of course!
For the towel to become dirt, you need a nice composting environment and 2+ years. It’ll go best if you turn it from time to time.
The final step is for the worms to eat the leftovers. Then the towel has officially become dirt that’s indistinguishable from the other dirt that surrounds it 👍
- Comment on Microslop stuffs AI photo restyling powers into OneDrive 1 month ago:
So your image file of grandma—the last one of her smiling before she died—will be given the cartoon treatment just before OneDrive spams an ad for itself, saying you’re out of space and deletes the file.
- Comment on where? 1 month ago:
Beware horse girls! It’s a trap!
- Comment on Greek Court Bans Kosher and Halal Slaughter 1 month ago:
Me: “Religions often require pointless cruelty and suffering!”
Catholics: “Yes.” (Shrugs)
Me: “I was talking about kosher and halal practices… requiring that animals not be anaesthetized before being slaughtered.”
Catholics, grimacing: “Oh! Right! Yeah…”
- Comment on What??? Nativity scene with a crucifix in the background? 1 month ago:
Have to hang em out to dry after surgery.
- Comment on Why is Windows still bloated 1 month ago:
MacOS wasn’t rewritten, it was ported. It’s now bigger than before.
Whoah there! Mac OS was entirely rewritten from scratch (based upon some combination of FreeBSD and NextSTEP) when Steve Jobs rejoined Apple. Or are we pretending the eternal shame of Mac OS 7 never happened?
- Comment on What??? Nativity scene with a crucifix in the background? 1 month ago:
To be fair, lots of people were crucified at the time. Many with the same name as Jesus and many for the same crimes!
In this case, though… It was merely the pubic execution of a leprechaun.
