Yeah, not everyone can afford to just buy a Thai girl to take care of that.
Pride month
Submitted 15 hours ago by Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net to [deleted]
https://slrpnk.net/pictrs/image/4abaac28-1b59-40a6-abad-bf9aaf96cfc9.jpeg
Comments
Kaligalis@lemmy.world 44 minutes ago
lyralycan@sh.itjust.works 4 hours ago
Awfully cisnormative for a Pride post
popekingjoe@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
And y’know what? He’s absolutely great at them, and I deeply appreciate him.
SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 10 hours ago
Wait, we must have the same dude?
popekingjoe@lemmy.world 9 hours ago
OldQWERTYbastard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 hours ago
Fine. I fucked up and married an asexual woman because she was the first person to ever show me genuine affection and I royally fucked up.
Sucks to be me! No kids, at least.
Carnelian@lemmy.world 14 hours ago
I also don’t have sex with this guy’s wife
tanisnikana@lemmy.world 12 hours ago
I’m asexual and I deserve love too! I married another asexual lady and it’s great. Neither of us have to do things we don’t want to.
Waterpumpee@lemmus.org 4 hours ago
Dont worry, as parents you wouldn’t (want) to see action either. You get up, handle your offspring, go to work, gethome to just handle the offspring again. Depending if they had mid-day sleep you may be allowed to do chores starting 19-23pm. Actually working is more relaxing than being 100% of the time on adrenaline because your toddler tries to hurt themselves all the time. You just lack energy for romance. Trying for a second is a chore.
Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 13 hours ago
What is wrong with genuine affection? The least of us are that lucky. Sex you can have with everyone and get it everywhere. You can even buy it, if you want. But love and affection is a rare commodity you can’t enforce or buy or…
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 10 hours ago
Depends if she let’s him get it elsewhere? You are stuck in a dilemma of being involuntary celibate for life, in return for love.
So oof.
mrmisses@lemmy.world 13 hours ago
If it helps I didn’t marry an asexual woman and I still get none.
Sucks to be me, plus a kid!
avidamoeba@lemmy.ca 31 minutes ago
Wait, how do you know she’s not asexual?
Minnels@lemmy.zip 3 hours ago
Well… You are not alone in this.
DanceMomsSavedMe@lemmy.zip 14 hours ago
Your username is amazing btw
SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 9 hours ago
Do asexual people not even want you try it?
stray@pawb.social 9 hours ago
It depends on the person. Some asexual people can be quite sexually active because they don’t mind or enjoy helping with their partner’s sexual needs even though they’re not directly interested.
Shellofbiomatter@lemmus.org 6 hours ago
How many times can you do that?
Yeah sure, few times to find out what the fuzz is about and then move on. Do you have any idea how many times people have sex in a relationship, a lot more than just a few times.
Just for clarification, I’m not ace or at least haven’t accepted it and just have difficulties with libido and remembering that I’m supposed to have sex.
drmoose@lemmy.world 9 hours ago
Any upsides?
drmoose@lemmy.world 9 hours ago
Nah my hand just identifies as a women during it 🫡
scathliath@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 hours ago
Hell yeah, sister.
OwOarchist@pawb.social 8 hours ago
What if I’m nonbinary, tho?
vodka@feddit.org 3 hours ago
What if your hand isn’t?
Gormadt@slrpnk.net 5 hours ago
There’s wood in them their hands!
pooberbee@lemmy.ml 14 hours ago
False
Broadfern@lemmy.world 12 hours ago
Yeah I was about to say trans folks exist lmao
hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 hours ago
Okay but then you still have same sex person jacking you off, that’s hella gay
WhoIzDisIz@lemmy.today 14 hours ago
-tto?
Yeah, kind of weird to have an LGBTQ+ pride post forget the T.
ivanafterall@lemmy.world 14 hours ago
Got 'em.
azvasKvklenko@sh.itjust.works 5 hours ago
Uhm yes, that’s intentional
cley_faye@lemmy.world 3 hours ago
Frankly, it’s not that good. Checkmate!
Wait-
NahMarcas@lemmy.ml 5 hours ago
He knows me better
Bakkoda@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
I’ve been handling dick for 30+ years. Id give a great handjob.
ivanafterall@lemmy.world 10 minutes ago
Maybe. But it’s going to be a different angle, so it might mess up your muscle memory.
SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 9 hours ago
Wait I think you have to renew your licence
LemmyFeed@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 hours ago
Promise?
Dogiedog64@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
If you wouldn’t let the homies perk you off, are you even friends?
frog_brawler@lemmy.world 9 hours ago
Somehow, this image took like 45 seconds to load. I wasn’t particularly aggressive about seeing what it was, and it’s past 10:00pm so, I figured… “meh, let it just spin…”
Eventually it loaded, and I immediately agreed.
“OF COURSE THIS IS TRUE AS I AM A DUDE!”
I don’t really feel bad about anything. I mean, If I weren’t a dude, I’d also exclaim, “Of course this is true!”
I’ve come to realize that literacy is decreasing over time.
I no longer articulate.
Good luck - let’s see where this shit goes.
ivanafterall@lemmy.world 13 minutes ago
Hope you got some much-needed sleep! ❤️
Leviathan@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
He knows what he’s doing and I love him.
ivanafterall@lemmy.world 9 minutes ago
He’s easy and available, though I honestly wish I could find someone who suits me better.
WhoIzDisIz@lemmy.today 14 hours ago
Well, damnit — I couldn’t get any other guy to do it for me!
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 13 hours ago
I used to work for a very shitty hotel. Like, heroin and hookers kind of hotel.
One summer we somehow became the official hotel of something called CLAW. I have no idea what it stands for, but the basic idea is that it’s a gay guys in leather convention.
Anyways, I’m a straight male. I have no issues with these guys, but I wouldn’t join in. As I’m working the front counter, this guy comes up and tries to flirt with me. I politely decline. Then he goes off to our dining room area.
Another guy walks up to check in. As I’m doing my job, the first guy comes back, walks up to the guy checking in, and says “Heeeey, I’m Tom. Are you single?” to which the second guy says “No, but I’m free to play”. Tom then gives him a room key, and says “Well I’m room 329. Feel free to bring as many as your friends as you like”.
To this day I am dumbfounded by that interaction. To any gay dudes reading this, I want you to know flirting with women and sealing the deal is NOWHERE NEAR that easy! I was impressed, and a bit jealous.
Tom walked up to this guy, and with 1 sentence and 1 question organized an orgy in which he was not at all responsible for setting up. He’s just offering a room. You bring the dudes.
This means Tom doesn’t have to vet people. He doesn’t need to make sure everyone is comfortable with each other. He just told the second guy to bring all his friends, and he reaps all the rewards of orgy host!
To put that in perspective, I’m 42, and never even had a threesome with 2 women. Because its such a hassle getting all the details just right. Meanwhile Tom’s over here like “ALL of your friends please!”
He went from “Hi my name is Tom” to “Lets pack my room with dudes” with only one sentence, and one question. Even the Germans aren’t THAT efficient!
So for you to say that you can’t get any other guys to give you a handjob…brother, you’re just not trying! Have you tried opening with “Hello”? Apperently that leads to orgies.
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 10 hours ago
It’s because you can basically murder and eat more-less any woman, and she can’t do anything about it, so she is rolling the dice.
Men meanwhile, a lot harder.
Also, less fucks given about it.
Zombie@feddit.uk 13 hours ago
God damn DLSS 5 upscales removing artistic intent! There’s supposed to be no meat on Skeletor’s bones!
reader@lemmy.zip 13 hours ago
who is this woman?
Flower@sh.itjust.works 5 hours ago
Budget Xena?
okwhateverdude@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
Cosplay Xena. Those digs don’t really look cheap
adaveinthelife@lemmy.ca 13 hours ago
Vast majority of hentai is drawn by men.
Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 13 hours ago
What? I thought it was mostly christian women?
HeHoXa@lemmy.zip 12 hours ago
Let’s start a hentai series under the pseudonym “Moms for Liberty”
ColdWater@lemmy.ca 4 hours ago
adaveinthelife@lemmy.ca 4 hours ago
Also sometimes, children.
MacaqueAndCheese@lemmy.ca 11 hours ago
My favorite thing about the dude who jacks new off is that he’s me
davidagain@lemmy.world 14 hours ago
Then there’s the wonder of quirky left hand who is very very aware of there being a penis of an interesting shape in there, and numb slept-on arm with the handjob that feels like it’s from someone else.
ceenote@lemmy.world 14 hours ago
Well, yeah, but he knows exactly what I like.
stepan@lemmy.cafe 14 hours ago
why would i otherwise?
Grail@multiverse.soulism.net 13 hours ago
I’m not! I’m nonbinary!
SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 13 hours ago
Joke’s on you, I wish I were a woman
tracelr402@piefed.blahaj.zone 8 hours ago
Joke’s on you, you are a woman
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 10 hours ago
So you are being given a handjob by a woman?
i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca 14 hours ago
[deleted]Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 13 hours ago
The guy who stole my taco now deleted his comment. Made out like a banshee in the night. No taking responsibility for their own actions. Instead, he’s probably snacking on my taco! That taco was like a taco to me! AND NOW IT’S GONE!!!
i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca 12 hours ago
I MADE A SHITPOST JOKE AND THEN REALIZED I MISREAD THE MEME.
YOU CAN’T FIRE ME! I QUIT!
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 1 hour ago
Yeah, but he’s sooo good at it.