And y’know what? He’s absolutely great at them, and I deeply appreciate him.
Pride month
Submitted 2 months ago by Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net to [deleted]
https://slrpnk.net/pictrs/image/4abaac28-1b59-40a6-abad-bf9aaf96cfc9.jpeg
Comments
popekingjoe@lemmy.world 2 months ago
SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 2 months ago
Wait, we must have the same dude?
popekingjoe@lemmy.world 2 months ago
pooberbee@lemmy.ml 2 months ago
False
WhoIzDisIz@lemmy.today 2 months ago
-tto?
Yeah, kind of weird to have an LGBTQ+ pride post forget the T.
Broadfern@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Yeah I was about to say trans folks exist lmao
hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 months ago
Okay but then you still have same sex person jacking you off, that’s hella gay
ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Got 'em.
drmoose@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Nah my hand just identifies as a women during it 🫡
TotallyWorthLife@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Uhh no, I’m just jerking a tgirl off and getting jerked by a tgirl.
Not my gf, but eh, still good.
OwOarchist@pawb.social 2 months ago
What if I’m nonbinary, tho?
Gormadt@slrpnk.net 2 months ago
There’s wood in them their hands!
vodka@feddit.org 2 months ago
What if your hand isn’t?
groet@feddit.org 2 months ago
I feel like hands are either left or right and that this binary attribute is assigned by their position on the body and not by their choice.
But then again the same was said about gender …
resipsaloquitur@lemmy.cafe 2 months ago
Inside you are two wolves.
Both of them are gay.
MiddleAgesModem@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Wrong. My hand doubles as Jennifer Lopez. She likes tacos and burritos.
bigkahuna1986@lemmy.ml 2 months ago
Ben Affleck has entered the chat.
Etterra@discuss.online 2 months ago
Thank you off-brand skeletor!
Asfalttikyntaja@sopuli.xyz 2 months ago
And I must admit I love that dude.
MrChewy@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Dude, you’re supposed to hate yourself, you’re the same gender as yourself, so loving that person is gay!
lyralycan@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Awfully cisnormative for a Pride post
Bakkoda@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I’ve been handling dick for 30+ years. Id give a great handjob.
SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 2 months ago
Wait I think you have to renew your licence
LemmyFeed@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 months ago
Promise?
ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Maybe. But it’s going to be a different angle, so it might mess up your muscle memory.
WhoIzDisIz@lemmy.today 2 months ago
Well, damnit — I couldn’t get any other guy to do it for me!
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I used to work for a very shitty hotel. Like, heroin and hookers kind of hotel.
One summer we somehow became the official hotel of something called CLAW. I have no idea what it stands for, but the basic idea is that it’s a gay guys in leather convention.
Anyways, I’m a straight male. I have no issues with these guys, but I wouldn’t join in. As I’m working the front counter, this guy comes up and tries to flirt with me. I politely decline. Then he goes off to our dining room area.
Another guy walks up to check in. As I’m doing my job, the first guy comes back, walks up to the guy checking in, and says “Heeeey, I’m Tom. Are you single?” to which the second guy says “No, but I’m free to play”. Tom then gives him a room key, and says “Well I’m room 329. Feel free to bring as many as your friends as you like”.
To this day I am dumbfounded by that interaction. To any gay dudes reading this, I want you to know flirting with women and sealing the deal is NOWHERE NEAR that easy! I was impressed, and a bit jealous.
Tom walked up to this guy, and with 1 sentence and 1 question organized an orgy in which he was not at all responsible for setting up. He’s just offering a room. You bring the dudes.
This means Tom doesn’t have to vet people. He doesn’t need to make sure everyone is comfortable with each other. He just told the second guy to bring all his friends, and he reaps all the rewards of orgy host!
To put that in perspective, I’m 42, and never even had a threesome with 2 women. Because its such a hassle getting all the details just right. Meanwhile Tom’s over here like “ALL of your friends please!”
He went from “Hi my name is Tom” to “Lets pack my room with dudes” with only one sentence, and one question. Even the Germans aren’t THAT efficient!
So for you to say that you can’t get any other guys to give you a handjob…brother, you’re just not trying! Have you tried opening with “Hello”? Apperently that leads to orgies.
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 2 months ago
It’s because you can basically murder and eat more-less any woman, and she can’t do anything about it, so she is rolling the dice.
Men meanwhile, a lot harder.
Also, less fucks given about it.
Dogiedog64@lemmy.world 2 months ago
If you wouldn’t let the homies perk you off, are you even friends?
Zombie@feddit.uk 2 months ago
God damn DLSS 5 upscales removing artistic intent! There’s supposed to be no meat on Skeletor’s bones!
Themosthighstrange@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Inverse if you are a girl, everytime you masterbate you’re getting fingered by a girl
janus2@lemmy.zip 2 months ago
me, a lesbian: awwwww yeah finally gettin some from a girl 😎
ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 2 months ago
This sounds like something a christian fundamentalist would say, to stop the youth from masturbating.
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 2 months ago
Yeah, but he’s sooo good at it.
Leviathan@lemmy.world 2 months ago
He knows what he’s doing and I love him.
ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 months ago
He’s easy and available, though I honestly wish I could find someone who suits me better.
reader@lemmy.zip 2 months ago
who is this woman?
Flower@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Budget Xena?
okwhateverdude@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Cosplay Xena. Those digs don’t really look cheap
Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 2 months ago
He’s ugly but he’s cheap.
frog_brawler@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Somehow, this image took like 45 seconds to load. I wasn’t particularly aggressive about seeing what it was, and it’s past 10:00pm so, I figured… “meh, let it just spin…”
Eventually it loaded, and I immediately agreed.
“OF COURSE THIS IS TRUE AS I AM A DUDE!”
I don’t really feel bad about anything. I mean, If I weren’t a dude, I’d also exclaim, “Of course this is true!”
I’ve come to realize that literacy is decreasing over time.
I no longer articulate.
Good luck - let’s see where this shit goes.
ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Hope you got some much-needed sleep! ❤️
adaveinthelife@lemmy.ca 2 months ago
Vast majority of hentai is drawn by men.
Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 2 months ago
What? I thought it was mostly christian women?
HeHoXa@lemmy.zip 2 months ago
Let’s start a hentai series under the pseudonym “Moms for Liberty”
ColdWater@lemmy.ca 2 months ago
adaveinthelife@lemmy.ca 2 months ago
Also sometimes, children.
ceenote@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Well, yeah, but he knows exactly what I like.
MacaqueAndCheese@lemmy.ca 2 months ago
My favorite thing about the dude who jacks new off is that he’s me
davidagain@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Then there’s the wonder of quirky left hand who is very very aware of there being a penis of an interesting shape in there, and numb slept-on arm with the handjob that feels like it’s from someone else.
stepan@lemmy.cafe 2 months ago
why would i otherwise?
kayohtie@pawb.social 2 months ago
Oh good, a trans erasure post in pride month, excellent.
Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 2 months ago
Maybe I’m dense, but what does this post have to do with trans people, or (I presume) minimizing their issues?
Honestly, fill me in here
jve@lemmy.world 2 months ago
If a trans girl is jerking off, she’s getting jerked off by a woman.
azvasKvklenko@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Uhm yes, that’s intentional
NahMarcas@lemmy.ml 2 months ago
He knows me better
Grail@multiverse.soulism.net 2 months ago
I’m not! I’m nonbinary!
OldQWERTYbastard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 months ago
Fine. I fucked up and married an asexual woman because she was the first person to ever show me genuine affection and I royally fucked up.
Sucks to be me! No kids, at least.
Carnelian@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I also don’t have sex with this guy’s wife
tanisnikana@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I’m asexual and I deserve love too! I married another asexual lady and it’s great. Neither of us have to do things we don’t want to.
RickyRigatoni@piefed.zip 2 months ago
Not even taxes?
mrmisses@lemmy.world 2 months ago
If it helps I didn’t marry an asexual woman and I still get none.
Sucks to be me, plus a kid!
REDACTED@infosec.pub 2 months ago
Are you selling?
avidamoeba@lemmy.ca 2 months ago
Wait, how do you know she’s not asexual?
Minnels@lemmy.zip 2 months ago
Well… You are not alone in this.
Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 2 months ago
What is wrong with genuine affection? The least of us are that lucky. Sex you can have with everyone and get it everywhere. You can even buy it, if you want. But love and affection is a rare commodity you can’t enforce or buy or…
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 2 months ago
Depends if she let’s him get it elsewhere? You are stuck in a dilemma of being involuntary celibate for life, in return for love.
So oof.
lightnsfw@reddthat.com 2 months ago
False
REDACTED@infosec.pub 2 months ago
Think about it tho
DanceMomsSavedMe@lemmy.zip 2 months ago
Your username is amazing btw
SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 2 months ago
Do asexual people not even want you try it?
stray@pawb.social 2 months ago
It depends on the person. Some asexual people can be quite sexually active because they don’t mind or enjoy helping with their partner’s sexual needs even though they’re not directly interested.
tanisnikana@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I don’t want to try it. Don’t even want to hear about it. Don’t even have functioning genitals on account of being intersex. I thought I was horny once, but that was just when Rush Limbaugh died.
Some people tell me, “well, you haven’t had the right dick or pussy yet!” And I always reply, “and you haven’t had the right arsenic yet, keep trying different kinds.”
Turns out that the wizard powers for being a forty year old virgin only apply if one ever had the option or desire to lose the virginity in the first place.
smh@slrpnk.net 2 months ago
ooh, ooh! Ace here. I went through a period where sex was my special interest. I went deep down the research rabbit hole, learned all about sex toys and methods and safer sex techniques. Had willing partners.
At the end of the day, sex is boring and no one is hot/of an attracting gender. I guess it’s like if you were a super straight man and everyone else was men? I don’t know.
Now I’m into knitting and kumihimo.
Shellofbiomatter@lemmus.org 2 months ago
How many times can you do that?
Yeah sure, few times to find out what the fuzz is about and then move on. Do you have any idea how many times people have sex in a relationship, a lot more than just a few times.
Just for clarification, I’m not ace or at least haven’t accepted it and just have difficulties with libido and remembering that I’m supposed to have sex.
Waterpumpee@lemmus.org 2 months ago
Dont worry, as parents you wouldn’t (want) to see action either. You get up, handle your offspring, go to work, gethome to just handle the offspring again. Depending if they had mid-day sleep you may be allowed to do chores starting 19-23pm. Actually working is more relaxing than being 100% of the time on adrenaline because your toddler tries to hurt themselves all the time. You just lack energy for romance. Trying for a second is a chore.
drmoose@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Any upsides?