smh

@smh@slrpnk.net

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Kitty looking thicc⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I, at least, wear my compression capris (a subset of yoga pants, I think) for a medical reason (abdominal compression improves bloodflow more than compression socks, in POTS patients). They also make my butt look great, but I wouldn’t squeeze into them every day if they didn’t reduce my standing heart rate significantly.

  I’m not aware of a similar medical reason for wearing a pushup bra.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Too Little Too Late 🕛⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  My brother got a Sega Genesis, PS, PS2, N64, Dreamcast, XBox, and XBox360. I got an apple iie and a Gameboy color.

  He sold his systems as soon as a new one came out. Mine mysteriously disappeared while I was away at college. I’m totally not bitter.

  Anyways, neither one of us having kids.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Valid point⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Exactly. I didn’t know how to make it work but I had a rough idea how it worked.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Valid point⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I left my wallet on my work desk and a youngling helped walk me through using my phone to pay for my drive-through coffee order. I felt so cool and high tech.

  Of course, when we got to “turn on NFC” the youngling asked what NFC was. I think I told him it was like Bluetooth and let the phone talk to the card reader.

  My older “forgot my wallet” technique was to make an online order for pick up and enter my organically memorized credit card information into the online form.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Valid point⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I might drive my car, I might drive my partner’s, I might drive my coworker’s car. I might collapse on the street and someone needs to figure out who I am from what I’m carrying. The license/id stays with me, not the vehicle.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The end of civilization costs $5⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I keep a couple jugs around for in case we lose power. We’re on well water and without power we don’t have tap water.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Last time I was the pickup person for a surgery, the surgery went well and fast, then the first recovery room (the one where I wasn’t allowed to visit) took 4 hours. Poor friend was just so slow to get his mental faculties back after anesthesia. I blame his redheaded genes.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨This is why we have two-factor authentication.⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Ah, you’re only like 5 years younger than me. I work in a college library and the young adults keep making me feel my millenial age, so maybe I over-explained.

  Were you on dial-up, too? That dialtone just announced to everyone you were getting online, no way to hide.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨This is why we have two-factor authentication.⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Nah, it was an application on family computer. You know, the computer in the corner of the dining room where your parents and baby brother could read over your shoulder. (I had my own computer in my room, but it didn’t even have a network card or modem.)

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Genius⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  TBF, anyone can wear any gender of pants.

  Spoken like someone that doesn’t have an aggressive hip-to-waist ratio.

  Anyways, I wear scrubs. They’re the cargo pants of the professional world. My 6" ereader fits in one of the pockets. Highly recommend.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨This is why we have two-factor authentication.⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  It’s more like Google chat or your contacts list of folks you SMS with. People you probably know from high school and nowadays you’d text, but AOL Instant Messager was free, used a device with a full keyboard, and didn’t require a cell phone which you didn’t have because it was 2001.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Genius⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  TBF, maybe they wear women’s pants. A pack of gum wouldn’t fit in those pockets.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Genius⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I have a strap attached to my popsocket. It’s nice to be certain you won’t drop the thing while walking around.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  With the retroactive salary increase my union just got me, I could buy several gaming systems. [meme of dude tapping his head]

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The agenda⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  When you sort your Skittles, do you then eat all of the same color first, or do you eat them evenly so that all colors run out at about the same time?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Rate my grandma's setup⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  9.5/10. I don’t see a knee speed controller.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Shot in the dark: is this about getting the white stallion in red dead redemption?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨It's not that bad quit whining⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Article from 2014 says it was a factory accident to an 18 year old worker. CW: pictures of his hands post-repair but still bloody. nydailynews.com/…/chinese-worker-gets-pincers-for…

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Pride month⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  ooh, ooh! Ace here. I went through a period where sex was my special interest. I went deep down the research rabbit hole, learned all about sex toys and methods and safer sex techniques. Had willing partners.

  At the end of the day, sex is boring and no one is hot/of an attracting gender. I guess it’s like if you were a super straight man and everyone else was men? I don’t know.

  Now I’m into knitting and kumihimo.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Stay hydrated, folks⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  /me laughs in POTS. I had four 30 oz tumblers of electrolyte water before noon today. (0.94 gallons aka 3.5 liters) And yes, I pee constantly.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Say hi to Flocky!⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  A meter is about a yard.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Where are we heading?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Yes, and then the good stuff is more likely to survive through the ages and be shown off. I think that’s what parent poster meant.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon is a paramedic⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  tbh, I doubt any of that would get through and it would just prolong an unhealthy relationship.

  It’s best to cut ties and move on if possible.

  Source: my mom sucks and nothing is ever her fault. The exception to the rule was when she got wicked drunk at my dad’s memorial service and kept shouting that she’d killed him. She only stopped once a couple people stepped in to try and reassure her that she hadn’t, which brought the focus back on her. (Spoiler alert: she did. Without her actions he’d still be alive.)

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Oh you're gonna be a horny bard again thing campaign? Here's your dice.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  I’m not sure there’s enough space in the dice bubble for the die to roll well.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨what’s your best “nitric acid acts upon trousers” moment?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Did you know an American 10¢ coin is the perfect size to drop behind a plug-in night light, such that it gets stuck between the power plug prongs? You can then unplug the night light and the dime drops to the floor, with two impressive marks taken out of it.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Is it weird that I cringe whenever someone calls my name and I avoid using peoples names when talking to them?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  I’m face blind and your methods of telling people apart sound very similar to mine. I don’t use odor but I do use gait. I also often just assume that I know someone if they act like they know me, and I play along until I figure out who they are.

  I also didn’t like hearing my name much until I changed it. Now I’m happier to hear it, and even diminutive forms of it.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Modern lies⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  We’ve got hard water and I’m trying to get my partner to try a chelating (mineral-removing) shampoo on his long, curly hair. His poor scalp is so itchy and I think it’s the hard water.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Modern lies⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Depends on if you have hard water or not. I tried it with wicked hard water and it just never washed out, my hair ling felt so gross and greasy. (it was mid move and my regular shampoo was already packed :( )

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Modern lies⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  I like Lush’s cinnamon one.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Love when emoticons get translated to emojis, I love the modern internet⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  d: