Need a AI update
Submitted 5 days ago by VetOfTheSeas@discuss.online to [deleted]
https://discuss.online/pictrs/image/75d0e35d-918b-46b3-b9f0-35b989a7cf73.png
Comments
VoteNixon2016@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 days ago
PrimeMinisterKeyes@leminal.space 5 days ago
I’m getting flashbacks to the knife dildo from the movie "Seven."
probably NSFW
Waraugh@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 days ago
This link is showing me how to increase the power of a small engine in a go cart. I’m still gonna watch it but it’s not what I was expecting.
aeronmelon@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Etterra@discuss.online 5 days ago
I don’t care if it’s sharp enough to kill a god, it’s still not worth it if it needs WiFi access.
Holytimes@sh.itjust.works 4 days ago
I unno killing a god is historically pretty damn expensive. Wifi access is a lot cheaper then your soul, first born, village or eternal damnation.
liuther9@lemmy.world 4 days ago
You also get this cool knife merge with your arm
JcbAzPx@lemmy.world 4 days ago
You’d think so…
infinitesunrise@slrpnk.net 5 days ago
What the hell are you people doing buying this crap in the first place?
Zink@programming.dev 5 days ago
I’m convinced that much of, if not most of, society sees technology in our personal lives as a way to (ideally) not have to learn anything or put in one bit of extra effort.
I’ve been getting my hands dirty and doing more things myself over the past few years, and ya know sometimes the journey is more impactful on you as a person than the destination is. Learning things and interacting with the world around you is good.
ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de 5 days ago
This knife is expensive, but actually pretty badass. It’s an ultrasonic frequency knife and the only non commercial use chefs knife I know of that does it and works. It cuts with no effort, but really the biggest perk is that absolute fuck all will even try and stick to the side of the blade. Still to richy rich for the benefits, but it is cool tech.
Donebrach@lemmy.world 4 days ago
If you think this is cool then let me tell you I have a device cool your room by nasa science 90 degrees 6 seconds. This item is so powerful it can’t even be spelled in stores tried 9 times and realtors refused sell it. This knife is so cool it won’t even overheat the meat in cutting and will help your grandma and dad when they are cooking the food without any problem
VitoRobles@lemmy.today 5 days ago
You have non-smart knives that don’t have a usb3 port for updates?
yermaw@sh.itjust.works 5 days ago
franklinovitch@lemmy.world 4 days ago
Internet of shit.
minkymunkey_7_7@lemmy.world 4 days ago
Consumers of shit who keep buying it.
imetators@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 days ago
450euro for a ultrasonic vibrating knife.
echodot@feddit.uk 4 days ago
They used to be one in the hotel that I worked at and it definitely didn’t have an app or internet connection you just pressed the button and it did its thing. What’s the firmware for?
Sabata11792@ani.social 4 days ago
Got to tell the advertising firm and the government how you cut your bread.
Pacattack57@lemmy.world 4 days ago
Hello I’m a software engineer for this knife! Kitchenaid’s newest model, the Ultrasonic Edge™! It is forged with self-healing nano-steel from Japan, the blade can automatically correct small edge imperfections over time, keeping it razor sharp longer than a traditional knife. The button on the handle cycles through several prep modes to assist in slicing and dicing. My favorite is heated mode which heats the blade to 28 C to assist in slicing frozen meats and vegetables. The knife occasionally receives software updates through its charging block, adding new cutting profiles and improving its internal motion sensors that track hand positioning and cutting rhythm. Tiny embedded LEDs along the spine glow softly to indicate blade temperature, battery life, or sanitation status after UV self-cleaning cycles. If you don’t have access to internet we can send you a usb device to install the software updates remotely. If you have any questions feel free to ask!
ikidd@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 days ago
God, I hope this is satire.
_stranger_@lemmy.world 4 days ago
crusty@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 days ago
Isn’t this the Seattle Ultrasonics C-200? Is it related to KitchenAid in any way?
BilSabab@lemmy.world 4 days ago
i’m so behind times… why would anyone need firmware for a knife though? like for real - what do you accomplish with it?
modus@lemmy.world 4 days ago
Keeps it ultra sharp with blade angles calculated by the latest AI-generated honing algorithms.
Also, fuck your privacy. Let us in your home.
PennyRoyal@sh.itjust.works 5 days ago
I thought it had peaked when I had to put a hacked firmware onto my soldering iron
pennomi@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Huh, my soldering iron doesn’t even have an on switch, just “plugged in” or “not plugged in”. I’m not saying everything needs to be that simple but we sure do overcomplicate things in our devices.
billwashere@lemmy.world 4 days ago
Seems like it was just a few days ago I post an internet story about an over engineered toaster….
AeonFelis@lemmy.world 5 days ago
I’m sorry, but when AI eventually gain sentience and turns over humanity - do we really want the knives on its side?
pancakes@sh.itjust.works 4 days ago
That’s why I’ve been rizzing up my knife for years now
AppleTea@lemmy.zip 5 days ago
I know this is a joke, but why should the machines for doing sums also just happen to reproduce the same phenomenon that happens in a living growing meat brain?
Tigeroovy@lemmy.ca 4 days ago
I just don’t understand why anyone would buy something like this. I bought a few of those smart speakers, really only so I can voice control my hue lights and listen to music on them sometimes, but a knife? What the fuck usage does it add?
Trebuchet@europe.pub 5 days ago
Disappointing that Quinn is still on x
Malyca@lemmy.zip 5 days ago
That’s the funniest one yet.
mavu@discuss.tchncs.de 5 days ago
Are these people aware that the only thing they mock/joke about are themselves for buying such crap?
dan69@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Does that automatically sharpen the knife too??
JuliaSuraez@lemmy.world 4 days ago
Finally, a knife that needs Wi-Fi before it can cut tomatoes.
vegafjord@slrpnk.net 4 days ago
fucking bloat :exclamationmark:
synapse1278@lemmy.world 5 days ago
I’ve seen this knife on YouTube. It vibrate at ultrasound frequency that makes it sharper than the blade really is and the ingredients don’t stick to it, or so they claim. If it really does perform as demonstrated, it’s pretty cool, but still overpriced.
Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 5 days ago
If all it does is vibrate why does it need a firmware update?
Fetus@lemmy.world 5 days ago
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disorderly@lemmy.world 5 days ago
The incredibly silly true answer is that the software industry’s love for “deploy early, deploy often” has led to all embedded devices shipping with over-the-air (OTA) update support even when it barely makes sense. The earliest units of a given product run will ship with a minimally viable product build that has lots of bugs, but solid OTA.
Fun anecdote: I had a TV backlight die after about 3 years, and the root cause was a shitty embedded app that incorrectly regulated the voltage for the LED strips.
Brkdncr@lemmy.world 5 days ago
How would it vibrate without wpa3 support?
mycodesucks@lemmy.world 5 days ago
It doesn’t…
But the kind of people who are impressed by a vibrating knife are also likely to be impressed by the ability to update firmware. They don’t know what firmware DOES, they just know it’s modern.
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KraeuterRoy@feddit.org 5 days ago
Don’t you think it would vastly improve your stabbing experience if the knife could vibrate the Halloween theme while you’re at it?
IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 5 days ago
maybe scientists discovered new frequencies?
Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 5 days ago
To show you ads, of course. Duh.
Tetragrade@leminal.space 5 days ago
data gathering
SchmidtGenetics@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Different frequency and patters provide different results.
msage@programming.dev 4 days ago
To fix all the RCE bugs, of course!
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 5 days ago
they updated it so it also vibrates in rgb
jaybone@lemmy.zip 5 days ago
That’s what she said.
HikingVet@lemmy.ca 5 days ago
Motor with an eccentric shaft?
synapse1278@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Found it: seattleultrasonics.com/…/c-200-ultrasonic-8-chefs…
452€ 🫠
OwOarchist@pawb.social 5 days ago
Noodle-armed motherfuckers could only manage 30 lbs of force with their arms?
Paddzr@lemmy.world 5 days ago
JapAnESe sTEeL!!1°!
Then demo cuts the most basic shit any other half decent knife would have no issues with.
Sludge@sh.itjust.works 5 days ago
And the wireless charger is sold separately!
baggachipz@sh.itjust.works 5 days ago
Well, up to 50% less effort for that low price? Sign me the fuck up!
NottaLottaOcelot@lemmy.ca 5 days ago
So you’re saying it’s ideal for murder because it brings home less damning evidence?
merc@sh.itjust.works 5 days ago
“Hmm, the stab wounds show that this guy was stabbed by an ultrasonic vibrating knife!”
“Really? Those must be rare, what can they sell, maybe a dozen of those per year?”
synapse1278@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Remember that I am not a certified lawyer so you shouldn’t take my advice as face value. But, yes.
theunknownmuncher@lemmy.world 5 days ago
This is good as an accessibility device for people who have trouble doing the proper circular knife cutting motion, but if you can use the proper technique without trouble, it is not really much better or worth the cost.
WoodScientist@lemmy.world 5 days ago
I don’t see accessibility as the main benefit. I see reduced need for sharpening. Yes, you can always sharpen a knife, but it’s not as easy as people pretend. And it’s another chore you have to do.
ALoafOfBread@lemmy.ml 5 days ago
I doubt the vibrations would do anything to make it cut better, but to make thi gs not stick you could also just put little dimples on the side like tose of a santoku knife. So goofy.
NuXCOM_90Percent@lemmy.zip 5 days ago
People freak out over the dimples because it means that some day they won’t be able to sharpen the knife anymore.
Which ignores that once you are even two millimeters worn down it is probably time to get a new knife regardless due to ergonomics and the like.
And yeah. Vibrations only make sense if you are sawing through food. That is why those electric carvers are genuinely amazing and worth grabbing if you are hosting a big roasted meat party (e.g. American and probably also Canadian Thanksgiving). Non-serrated blades don’t do that. If you need to saw through your food with a chef’s knife then you should have sharpened that years ago. And if you actually CAN saw through your food with the chef’s knife, odds are the blade is so fucked up that it is not salvageable to begin with.
gens@programming.dev 5 days ago
Stuff sticks to knives because they are flat. They need to have dimples for stuff not to stick. Even with ultrasonic vibrations things will stick because things are elastic and sucktion.
I doubt this knife has the power for its vibrations to make a meaningfull difference in cutting.
That’s my opinion at least.
herrvogel@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Ultrasonic vibrations have been successfully used to make cutting tools more effective for a long time. It doesn’t make the cutting edge sharper or amplify the force, it just moves it back and forth slightly, in microscopic imitations of a cutting motion. That does work. Though at the end of the day it won’t magically make a dull knife sharp.
Ultrasonic vibrations have also been successfully used to get shit off of surfaces for a long time too. It is a common and effective method. Though it usually involves a bit more than just shaking the thing, but still…
Theoretically this knife could very well do both of those things. Probably not well enough to be worth 425 dollars, but probably entire useless either.
OwOarchist@pawb.social 5 days ago
Eh, perhaps not.
Ultrasonic vibration causes tiny cavitation bubbles to form at the interface between metal and liquid, and then those bubbles collapse a tiny second of a fraction later … quite violently. If it’s well designed, then it should clean stuff off of itself just like materials you put in an ultrasonic cleaner.
But these cavitation bubbles are strong enough to eat away at the metal itself as well. I expect this knife might not actually last very long if you use the vibration a lot.
Underwaterbob@sh.itjust.works 5 days ago
This test: www.youtube.com/shorts/PTd98UnJnnU looked fairly objective to me. It’s kinda cool, but not as impressive as most demonstrations (probably shills or “official”) make it out to be. It certainly didn’t pass through the crust of that baguette much cleaner with the vibration on.
Battle_Masker@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 days ago
oh no. OH NO!
backalleycoyote@lemmy.today 5 days ago
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I mean, the increased damage compared to a regular knife is noteworthy.
takeda@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 days ago
Still, why does it need Bluetooth and firmware? Sounds like all it needs is just a vibrating motor.
ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de 5 days ago
It does work and it is super cool from any videos or info I watched on it. Because metal is flexible, the size, length, thickness, and weight of the blade all gave to be taken into account in order to get a vibrating frequency that works. If you ever watch videos of this or ones like it (this is the only good working home use kitchen knife I know if) it’s pretty bad ass, if for nothing else than just for how anti stick it is. I’m still not willing to pay like $400 for it. I’m a big knife sharpening and cooking guy, but I don’t think I’ve paid over about $50 for any of my kitchen knives or over $230 for a pocket knife. Now if I ever wound up seeing one of the Seattle ultrasonics somewhere new or used and still looking good for under $200 I’d probably break down and buy it. Blade stick is pretty annoying when you want to cut something very consistently and not spend a bunch of time to do it.
porous_grey_matter@lemmy.ml 4 days ago
if you want to cut something very consistently and not spend much time to do it you use a mandoline