When the Christian friend convinces you into religion, but it turns out God hates belief in false gods more than non-belief (you picked the wrong religion).
Nice Going Buddy
Submitted 3 weeks ago by OriginEnergySux@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/d3b3b060-7f06-4305-a10f-b5ed2f01af6d.jpeg
Comments
red_tomato@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
you picked the wrong religion
There is no way that most people didn’t pick the correct religion. Even if all Christians were “correct” enough to get to heaven regardless of denomination, that still leaves 71%+ of the world who aren’t Christians, and that is best case scenario as Christians are the largest religious group by population in the world currently. And even within the Christian community, there are plenty of in-groups and out-groups that consider one another to be cultish and blasphemy. No matter what you are betting, your chances aren’t great and the majority of the world is still “wrong” and will face whatever consequences come with that fact.
Personally, I’m happy to just not believe than to force myself to conform to some oppressive dogma, dump my time and money into a church, and live with shame just to hedge my bets for what would still be bad odds anyway.
zloubida@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
It always impresses me how Christianity = evangelicalism in the mind of most Lemmynauts. Outside evangelicalism (and even partly within evangelicalism), going to hell or heaven as nothing to do with being theologically correct or not. I mean, even the Catholic church, which is both by far the biggest one and absolutely not one of the most open ones states that with an absolute clarity.
Grail@multiverse.soulism.net 3 weeks ago
I prefer the simple answer proposed by the Death of the Discworld: everyone is getting exactly what they think is coming to them. The final justice is that of your own conscience.
So pick a religion that aligns with your personal values and you’ll be alright.
HostilePasta@lemmy.ml 3 weeks ago
I’m not sure I’ll ever get over how arrogant and simple-minded Pascal’s Wager is. The whole premise is either Christianity or nothing; it doesn’t account for any other religion. I just find it hilarious.
Nalivai@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
There is only one guy who guessed correct religion after particularly vivid mushroom trip, but he’s still in hell because he started doing correct things for the wrong motivation.
catsarebadpeople@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Turns out it was the Mormons who were right. Yes, they’re the only ones in heaven. Sorry everyone else!
0x0@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
Someone elsewhere said if you need religion to be a good person you’re just a bad person on a leash.
SnarkoPolo@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
That is Christian doctrine. “The sinful nature of man.” IOW in the evangelical world view, we all need that leash or we’d all be, well, like American evangelicals.
Jyek@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
I’d rather them be a bad person on a leash than a bad person off the leash
heartSagan5@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
Sure, but they also are trying to force you on the same leash so… 🤷♂️
Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
On the one hand, I agree. But on the other hand, that leash has led to pretty bad places many times over the centuries. I’ve come to believe that there’s some truth to the “humans are kinda shit” premise of Christianity, just that sometimes it redirects that shittiness and other times it directs it (or individuals do in its name, since Christianity itself isn’t an entity).
I have no idea if humanity would be better off with or without religion. I don’t need it personally but others having it might make everyone’s lives better simply because they don’t think they can get away with some things so don’t try them.
snausagesinablanket@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Imagine a club where you can rape and pillage your entire life, ask for forgiveness on your dying breath and your in.
III@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Imagine a club where everyone is okay with that scenario. Imagine these same people think this is normal.
peacepath@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
The one-true-and-perfectly-good has tried to genocide all form of life by drawning them under rain (fishes got very affraid)… but so yes, you won’t get in his club without at least trying to be a bit as him…
ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Notably, you’re not asking for forgiveness from your victims. So you get to rape and murder them, never apologize, and they still get to say “Welp. It’s been forgiven!”
homosapien@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
repenting involves hating and turning away from your sin
lowleveldata@programming.dev 3 weeks ago
well I don’t think that person care about being in or out anyway
Frettchen@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
When your friend convinced you to go to church and get molested and there is no God
Pikachu
diaphragmwp@discuss.tchncs.de 3 weeks ago
Can’t do that face if you don’t have a face
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Love how this is getting downvoted. Like there isn’t a rich and storied history of Satanic Panic in this country or an active community of Epstein-brained conservatives who are doing blood libel on anyone who fails the Paper Bag Test.
SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
Religion makes predators
homosapien@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
whotookkarl@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
Doesn’t matter because that’s the western Orthodox baptist second reformed heaven and you were a heathen western Orthodox baptist first reformed
TransNeko@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Nazis, Israeli abominations, and christian pedophiles go to heaven… why the fuck would I want to go to heaven and be stuck with them for eternity?
MyVeryRealName@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Did you personally go to heaven and verify?
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 3 weeks ago
Fairly sure some people did go to Heaven.
It was nothing but empty, no gods, only suns everywhere.
Disappointing.
TransNeko@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Heaven was invented by Rapists, Pedophiles, fascists, and other wicked creeps in order to control the masses.
So fuck off religious pedo supporter.
ceenote@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Just pull the ole’, “Look! A distraction!” and disappear into the billions-strong crowd stuck in the same boat.
BitchPeas@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Nah. First thing God does is install little RFID chips into the soul.
Tiral@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Did people before Christianity just evaporate then?
Sibshops@feddit.cl 3 weeks ago
The old Pascal’s Wager. That’s why I believe in every religion and none at the same time. I have to cover my bases.
chuckleslord@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
My variant is “any god who requires me to suck his cock to get to the good place is a giant dick, undeserving of praise nor respect. Any god I’d bother to worship wouldn’t care if I did or not”
restingOface@quokk.au 3 weeks ago
EditsHisComments@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
The “I’m a Pantheist” approach
chuckleslord@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Sikh already got this one on lock.
BarbecueCowboy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
Pascal’s Roulette Wheel.
explodicle@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Explodicle’s Basilisk just wants you to fail to stop him. You’re doing great!
gdog05@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Sure, blame the atheism and conveniently forget about all the butt stuff.
thermal_shock@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Poophole loophole
gdog05@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I think if you’re assigned male at birth, you’ve only got the poophole.
FreddiesLantern@leminal.space 2 weeks ago
Pheh, who needs heaven anyway, just install linux onto the afterlife.
MrChewy@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Can heaven run doom tho?
ContriteErudite@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
It doesn’t run it bare metal, but does offload it to a remote sandbox.
untropvertimide@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 weeks ago
Putting aside the doom recompilation meme, I find this idea conceptually funny.
SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
SEE??? PROOF.
CHECKMATE, ATHEISTS
radiouser@crazypeople.online 2 weeks ago
“God forgives all” I ain’t sweating.
III@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Have you tried blaspheming against the holy spirit, that fake piece of shit?.. Let’s see God forgive that.
MehBlah@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Correct because it doesn’t exist.
Objection@lemmy.ml 3 weeks ago
Jokes on you, my plan all along was to tempt you away from God to secure a better position in Hell, as is the secret motivation of all atheists. Muahahaha!
Axolotl_cpp@feddit.it 2 weeks ago
The odds of gettin the right religion kif any god exist at all) is so fricking low that i may aswell live how i want instead of following a religion;
Heck, i’d like to be religious but every religion seem to be quite shitty, the only ones who basically convinced me are Wiccas, which i may join in the near future
vane@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Well, nobody can go to heaven because the gates are closed.
ollie@pawb.social 3 weeks ago
this is exactly my little nagging worry…
chunes@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
imagine being stuck in a place with ONLY people of one religion. it would be hell
Diddlydee@feddit.uk 3 weeks ago
Eternity of anything would be boring. You’d become the paragon of apathy.
Homo_Erectus@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
“Drake… Where are our names in the Book of Life ?”
myyass@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
It’s like a checkered screen going black. Sorry for the spoiler.
carrylex@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Don’t worry hell is also a nice place. They have Luau’s there
Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
maybe they were “convinced from” a false religion, eh?
MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
The medieval-values heaven or the ancient-values heaven?
Slayan@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
Thats one way to make sure i’m always there for our dnd sesh
rustyfish@piefed.world 3 weeks ago
You should see it this way: Look at our world. Look at the bad things. Look at the horrific things. God lets all those things happen AND he wants his dick sucked as if he doing jack shit is a good thing.
Go to hell. Be a rebel. Be proud of it.
Warl0k3@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
You don’t understand, all that suffering and all those dead babies are part of His plaaaaaaan. How can you even have morals without believing in god, please excuse the piles of dead babies.
frog@feddit.uk 3 weeks ago
Dead babies?
“God works in mysterious ways.”
“Trust God’s plan.”
“Everything happens for a reason.”
“You have to have faith.”
“We should pray.”
“He is testing our faith, like the book of Job.”
These are the bullshit answers they give us because they don’t really have an answer.
And when something good happens what do they say?
“God is good!”
“Praise the Lord!”
Look, believe in God all you want but when someone pisses on you, don’t call it rain.
Have a meaningful conversation of how an all powerful, good God can allow so much suffering. Either he isn’t good or he isn’t powerful.
deacon@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
ineffable innit?
Drewmeister@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
God has some of the worst fucking representatives. I don’t want to be in a heaven with those assholes
gibmiser@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Yeah, God is kinda an asshole, and if hes not, and hes worried about our opinions of him he really needs to work on his messaging and explaining why stuff has to be so shitty. Being God and all I imagine that isn’t beyond his abilities…
You know, assuming he existed…
usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca 3 weeks ago
The real problem is God doesn’t believe in me
zedgeist@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I kinda want a t-shirt with that on it. I wonder how many pity speeches it would get for me from Christians…
Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
The worst people in this world don’t think about these things. They are the ones in “heaven”.
If that’s the company in heaven, it sounds fucking awful.
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Old Satanists jumping in the New Satanists say this while giving them swirlies.
I would simply break the Cycle of Samsara and rejoin the Cosmic Singularity by freeing myself from materialistic desire.
catsarebadpeople@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Damn I can’t believe the guy you’re responding to us trying to get everyone to fuck their sister. Lol, what?