It's actually that simple.

Comments

• disconnectikacio@lemmy.world ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

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  • Doomsider@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Twist: Its the same guy after tanning, weight loss, roids, and plastic surgery.

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  • ddplf@szmer.info ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Must be fun being an incel slopper on lemmy, isn’t it?

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  • EvasiveSpecies@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    That is… how consent works.

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• rekabis@lemmy.ca ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Even a “yes” can, and frequently is, converted into a “no” retroactively, sometimes well after the act. It all comes down to feelings before facts and how she personally prefers to interpret the event regardless of the passage of time.

  And unless the entire action is videotaped and notarized, as a man you are defined as being in the wrong 100% of the time.

  Plus, as a man you are also faced with epic levels of societal hypocrisy that you have no ability to counteract, regardless of how things actually went.

  The only rational risk-assessment analysis for any man in the lower-90% is to consider ALL responses a “no”, and to just walk away.

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  • Doomsider@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Yeah going to have to call bullshit here. First of all a retroactive no is not something that is a chargeable offense. Most SA goes unreported and only a small fraction of what is reported is ever investigated and even a smaller amount is ever successfully prosecuted.

    She said he said is usually ignored by the police so it never reaches anywhere close to what you seem concerned about. Not only is this backed up by statistical evidence, as a social worker and a person whose had the privilege to talk to many women about this I can attest that only a couple out of hundreds ever got any justice.

    The whole lives ruined thing is a misnomer that is born out with tons of men in power who never get in trouble. You hear about a few cases of men being held accountable and somehow extrapolate that into a common occurrence. It isn’t.

    You can even look to POTUS who is an epic rapist still walking free after thousands of SAs in his lifetime. The Metoo movement turned out to be a sad joke with only a small handful of men in power successfully prosecuted. The backlash against the Metoo movement has been epic though with police, prosecutors, and judges all ensuring that justice will never be served.

    If you don’t feel that any women would ever consent to have sex with you without changing her mind later, you are welcome to that opinion. Considering your mindset I would actually agree with you here as consent is less about yes and more about caring for another person.

    On the other hand, if you get to know someone and build trust over time and they like you in that way things will happen naturally. I am hoping that you experience this if you are open to it. As you said it, it really is that simple.

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    • rekabis@lemmy.ca ⁨8⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

      tons of men in power who never get in trouble.

      Here, people, is an absolutely exquisite example of the Apex Fallacy in action: using the 1% to 0.1% of men that fit the conditions and applying that case to the other 99% who don’t have these characteristics and could never achieve the same prosecutorial immunity.

      For the vast majority of men, even the insinuation of sexual malfeasance is enough to destroy careers and marriages.

      Hell, even good samaritans lose everything, and they did absolutely nothing wrong.

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• JATtho@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  You all disgust me.

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  • Noodle07@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Yes

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• EditsHisComments@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  …wait a minute

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  • MeatPilot@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Time to crack open a cold one.

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    • swagmoney@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

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    • Mac@mander.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      A little piece of heaven, you might call it.

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  • Archangel1313@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    No, no. This is accurate.

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  • SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    No, I don’t think I will

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• bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  I’ve posted this comic a frightening amount in the last few weeks.

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  • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Well, that’s one way to stop someone from jumping.

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  • Hacksaw@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Sexy losers is GREAT! What a deep cut.

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• vegafjord@slrpnk.net ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  dead = no

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  • absentbird@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Good catch, wtf

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    • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Thay’s the joke folks.

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  • LadyButterfly@reddthat.com ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Came here to say this

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• PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

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  • Agent641@lemmy.world ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    = No

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• imetators@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

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  • biggerbogboy@sh.itjust.works ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Image

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    • Raiderkev@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Bro, u ain’t got no clothes

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  • W98BSoD@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    P. Sherman 42 Wallaby Way Sydney

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    • dethedrus@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      ¡Escapé!

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  • lugal@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    That’s what a room without an elephant looks like according to AI

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    • solidheron@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      You will be the bearer of the new royal elephant

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  • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Hi!

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• gmtom@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  I might get hate for this, but you can still consent when you’re drunk, so long as you’re not like barely conscious drunk or you’re not being manipulated coerced by someone.

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  • humorlessrepost@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Yeah, as an alcoholic, I don’t think every sexual encounter I’ve had in the past decade or more was mutual rape.

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    • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      If both are drunk, neither can rape and it is kind of seen like animals fucking naturaly. You both wake up as non-animals and are horrified by the ugly person on the other side that you fucked.

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• Maxxus@sh.itjust.works ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  I’m going to scroll through this whole comment section and not see a single Sexy Losers reference, aren’t I?

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• WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Tf you mean yes?

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• Agent641@lemmy.world ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Is this about website cookies?

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• Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  If a woman isn’t insatiable for me I’m not interested

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  • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Sounds like you just don’t know how to satisfy 🤷‍♀️

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    • Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      It’s a lot less effort to satisfy someone who wishes to be satisfied.

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  • snowydroopz@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    This man fucks

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• JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  Danger: Please don’t give anyone the idea that the only way for men to get lucky with a woman is via murder.

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  • hypnicjerk@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    murder?? what kind of sick predator do you take me for?

    i’m a scavenger thank you

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    • xavier666@lemmy.umucat.day ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Ah, I see you’re a man of culture as well

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    • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Yeah I got a shovel thank you

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• garth@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  An audible sigh followed by “Fine” or “Sure” = Yes

  But the lack of enthusiasm really kills the mood.

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  • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    If you’re at that point, often, repeatedly… unless you’re with an Ace, your relationship is either over or wholly performative.

    Probably best that you realize that.

    IMO, consenting but unenthusiastic sex is worse than none, you should both have more respect for yourselves and either talk out what’s really bothering one or both of you, or just admit that you don’t even like each other.

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  • PattyMcB@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    So do the tears. …wait

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    • UniversalBasicJustice@quokk.au ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Their tears or mine?

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    • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      The shampoo promised tho

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  • Agent641@lemmy.world ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I like it when she rolls her eyes

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• absentbird@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Vague = no

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• FiniteBanjo@feddit.online ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Technically, humans are animals so this basically rules out everything except corpses and sentient plants, fungi, and inanimate objects.

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  • platypode@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Where my shroom coomers at

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    • FiniteBanjo@feddit.online ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      pisE7xbAryTjleA.jpg

      ~Cecilia Granata

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    • basxto@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Image

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• janewaydidnothingwrong@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  I feel like you’re allowed to hesistate and still say a “yes” yes, especially since the “threatened and then said yes” is separate on this. It can be complicated and thought over first, no?

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  • ricecake@sh.itjust.works ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    They would have done better to make it more about talking someone into it or pestering them than about “hesitation”. Maybe “reluctant” would have been better.
    Sometimes people need to do a little internal status check. “I had a headache all day, am I not feeling it or would it be a fun alternative to ibuprofen?”

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  • Zexks@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    No

    lemmy.world/comment/23825694

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• OwOarchist@pawb.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Eh … I’m on the fence about “hesitated yes”.

  If we’re to reducto ad absurdum it, exactly how much hesitation turns a yes to a no? In fractions of a second, please.

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  • Siethron@lemmy.world ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    There are also a multitude of reasons to hesitate that aren’t “I want to say no but am afraid of saying it”. Such as stunned silence because he or she couldn’t believe someone so awesome wanted to have sex with them. Or confusion because it was loud and they misheard the word ‘sex’ as ‘sax’ and was wondering where they could possibly get one of those at this hour.

    Also, auditory processing disorder. Give them a god damn minute.

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  • roux2scour@jlai.lu ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Id say hesitating yes require a proper confirmation. If the person doesn’t look sure to you, ask them ?

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  • captainlezbian@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Yeah I’ve been sexually violated in ways like posts like this are usually about (coerced and pressured past my "no"s into situations I didn’t want) and while I respect the effort, I feel like they’re often in a weird position of overzealous and only really applicable in hookup type situations, they also often ignore more manipulative styles of pressuring a yes.

    Hesitation is fine, but it may be good practice to double check if the following yes isn’t enthusiastic. The yes is often less important than the enthusiasm in early stages. I’ve had wonderful nights of tongue wrestling where we never asked, we flirted until it was clearly mutual, and in one case we were hesitating at first because we were both not super comfortable with the age gap (we talked about it after). And we were both drunk, because there’s a difference between consensual actions while in an altered state and taking advantage of a drunk person, and that difference largely comes down to enthusiasm and being in a similar state. If I’m one beer in and generally feeling fine I ought to turn down a shitfaced woman who’s hitting on me hard, but if I’m right there with her that’s fine.

    And in long term relationship6s I think the need for enthusiasm reduces. Sometimes you put out when you aren’t really in tar5he mood because you love your partner and value the intimacy. That’s not being sexually violated unless you were pressured or coerced.

    Consent is a discussion that requires genuine nuance, and checklists will always come off as far more clunky than most people’s lived experiences with it.

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  • terranoid@lemmy.cafe ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    I just had a US lawmaker whisper yes into my ear but they expect bribes for anything and everything. Do I have consent?

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• GimmeUrBelt@lemmy.today ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Aight, I know this comment is gonna bite me later, but I gotta speak my piece. I’m playing devil’s advocate here. Beastiality, zoophilia, whatever you wanna call it… It isn’t always a case of raping the animal. What is consent? It is ultimately an extremely arbitrary idea that humans fling around. For human-on-human interactions, obviously society has cemented it as something with clear-cut lines and rules. But, that’s pretty much where it ends for us. Consent from animals is not something we ever seriously consider in any way.

  Think about it. Did domesticated species, which we have dominated for our benefit, consent? Do dogs consent to anything we put them through as our pets? Do cats? Birds? Bugs?! The answer is no. We cannot communicate with other animals. So we forgo consent when it comes to the animals we interact with. Even when it comes to things that really has no direct benefit to the animal.

  All I’m saying is, rape is rape, for sure. But when it comes to inter-species erotica, as a man once called it, it can’t all be rape. Because animals rely on instinct more than anything, especially when it comes to sex. I guarantee a horse will show you when it doesn’t appreciate it being touched in the no-no spot.

  Okey doke. Bring on the rain. 🙂‍↕️

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• Omega_Jimes@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  Ok but she’s not going to say no because of the implication.

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• DarkCloud@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Pfft, a simple “Yes” is not exactly enthusiastic consent.

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• OriginEnergySux@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  Yeah i have some questions about the animal one…

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• kn33@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Okay, but the line about “bribed” doesn’t sit right with me. We doing SWERF stuff now?

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• RickyRigatoni@piefed.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  What about dead animal?

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• Adulated_Aspersion@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Dead?

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• HrabiaVulpes@europe.pub ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Okay, I’m gonna bite this bait - isn’t consent something decided later? Nobody can prove they said “yes or no” later after all so usually it’s based on who we decide to trust.

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• Tiral@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  I’d have to disagree with this. My wife has definitely banged me when I was asleep and or drunk. She didn’t ask, but it was yes from me if she did.

  I don’t think you should use a generic chart as a guide, it isn’t always that simple, because people aren’t that simple. It’s also not very helpful, people who have morals already know this. The other people know this, they just don’t give a shit, it isn’t they don’t understand. There’s a big difference.

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• solidheron@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  So when I’m dead I’m consenting to have my likeness used

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