W98BSoD
@W98BSoD@lemmy.dbzer0.com
- Comment on BASED? 1 day ago:
It is a mecca for meat, oversized sodas and snacks, petrol consumption, and nice toilets to shit all the garbage you’ve consumed.
I want to go to there.
- Comment on Save as PDF 1 day ago:
Then you already know this:
- Comment on Save as PDF 1 day ago:
How about notepad. Or paint.
- Comment on Hits you where it matters 1 day ago:
STT?
- Comment on Silver linings? 2 days ago:
Anally
- Comment on Hits you where it matters 2 days ago:
Who are they all period?
- Comment on The Boot 2 days ago:
Thin blue line flag in support of police
- Comment on The Boot 2 days ago:
- Comment on Did you have one? 2 days ago:
17 31707 1
- Comment on The cops pay Anon a visit 4 days ago:
Veracrypt
- Comment on Im curious what they will come up with 4 days ago:
- Comment on Follow the rules! 5 days ago:
- Comment on Follow the rules! 5 days ago:
It stands for, it stands for commitment. It stands for audacity. It stands for courage in the face of-
- Comment on Norway anon pirates 1 week ago:
Only 20TB?
- Comment on Come on, I left Napster running and my mom got Choco Tacos. 1 week ago:
- Comment on Would the United States actually risk a Tiananmen Square incident? 1 week ago:
- Comment on [deleted] 1 week ago:
Original post
- Comment on Linux just works until it doesn't 1 week ago:
Libertarian police
I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.
“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”
“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”
“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”
The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”
“Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”
“Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.”
He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.”
“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.”
I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside.
“Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t.
“Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up.
“Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?”
It didn’t seem like they did.
“Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.”
Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing.
I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it.
“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.
Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him.
“Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen.
I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!”
He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.
“All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.”
“Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy.
“Because I was afraid.”
“Afraid?”
“Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.”
I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head.
“Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”
He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me.
- Comment on Imaging sending AI Memes 2 weeks ago:
Hey, you’re not /u/ShittyMorph
- Comment on Imaging sending AI Memes 2 weeks ago:
Great game. Have they hit the achievements before the bell rings? Very tough to do.
- Comment on LETS GO GAMBLING!!!! 🤩🌟😋 2 weeks ago:
- Comment on This is really touching. Your eyes will moisten 2 weeks ago:
Sworn to the Seymour plotline.
- Comment on World's first MAGA 2 weeks ago:
- Comment on Few understand what this actually means 2 weeks ago:
- Comment on Exploding 🌳🌲🌴🌳🌲🌴🌳🌲🌴🌳 2 weeks ago:
Ahh yes. File Transfer Protocol.
- Comment on Exploding 🌳🌲🌴🌳🌲🌴🌳🌲🌴🌳 2 weeks ago:
Chinook is a helicopter and a Clipper is a basketball player.
🌈 The more you know 🌈
- Comment on They only come out at night 2 weeks ago:
Wands and wings. Floaty crowns and things.
- Comment on it's right there 😖 2 weeks ago:
- Comment on Interesting 3 weeks ago:
When a moth thinks about traveling vertically upwards, a LADDER is just the last thing he would think of!!
- Comment on Interesting 3 weeks ago:
