Horses ARE Forever

Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨indigent_itinerant@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/ee87fbe8-510d-4f90-a2f1-b8dca3fc113c.jpeg

And yet, unhitched from the menial task of transportation, the average horse today enjoys a far better quality of life than the average pre-car horse. Why? Horse girls. You see, now that the market demand for horses is no longer based on actual horsepower, horses can render the service of “just being themselves” for those who appreciate that most (in much more forgiving circumstances). In this way, horses truly are forever… and the real losers really are mankind. And its machines. In this essay, I will

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kabi@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
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- lugal@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
  I once thought I saw a real horse. Turned out it was just a unicorn that lost its horn
  
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  - i_dont_want_to@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
    I hear age can make you less horny.
    
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- Lommy@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
  Like can you even imagine?
  
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  - kibiz0r@midwest.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
    It’s kinda weird that between unicorns, centaurs, giraffes, and horses, horses are the only made-up ones. Like come on, it’s a centaur with a dumb face, but instead of a chest and arms it’s just more neck?
    
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- ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
  Yeah, living with !horseblindness@lemmy.world is really tough…
  
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hark@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
It doesn’t make sense to use automobiles. Imagine having to build out paved roads everywhere and also set up stations along these roads to refuel. Just completely impractical.

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- JustAnotherKay@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
  Right? It would be so much cheaper if we just used to the reinforcing steel to create thin tracks which we could put much more thermally efficient and eco-friendly wheels onto. In turn, we could carry exceptionally large loads of cargo or people over vast distances for a mere fraction of the cost (monetary) and a fraction of the cost (to the world) by creating long, highly aerodynamic vehicles capable of moving at ridiculously high speeds that would be uncontrollable for the average joe on the road.
  
  Wait, haven’t I heard of something like this before?
  
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  - kibiz0r@midwest.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
    But people want the freedom that comes with having a horse. Maybe if we could put horses on the tracks and hook them up to each other.
    
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- interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
  You can’t negociate unprepared natural terrain at 120kph in any kind of machine or animal
  
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  - WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
    What about a salt flat?
    
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  - hark@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
    What about a flying machine?
    
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Xanthrax@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
Image

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- petrol_sniff_king@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
  God, this image is cool. Very NaissancE, if you’ve ever played that.
  
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  - Xanthrax@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
    Is that the anime lady with the robots?
    
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- morrowind@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
  The streets weren’t a lot better when they were horse focused
  
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  - ECB@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
    The physical design was somewhat similar but if you look at old footage from cities you’ll see that walking on the street was completely normal.
    
    There didn’t yet exist this idea that we have to leave 80% of the street exclusively for cars.
    
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Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
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- baatliwala@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
  That’s rape horse from Berserk
  
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  - Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
    I didn’t clock it at first but yes exactly
    
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  - Thcdenton@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
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  - jaybone@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
    Would you like to making colt BERSERKER
    
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  - umbrella@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
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Doomsider@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
Equestrians are now free from menial labor and can focus on their Only Horse accounts.

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- Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
  Did you have to säy this shit
  
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Snowclone@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
Fun fact, there are more domesticated horses now then there were at the hight of horses being used as transportation. I found this out when a reporter asked Jay Leno, an avid classic car collector, if he was upset about the CA law that makes only EVs legal to sell as new cars in CA by a certain date. He said he totally approved of the measure, and that there was nothing to worry about for classic car collectors, and citing horse ownership rates.

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- interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
  Hey I’ve been searching for solid stats about this. Are you sure? Because there used to be a lot of hotses!
  
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  - BorgDrone@lemmy.one ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
    There are also a shitload more humans now. Even if number of horses per capita is lower, the fact that there are more people may compensate for that.
    
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- MDCCCLV@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
  Yeah, but there are a lot of neglected emaciated horses from people that shouldn’t have horses.
  
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- EmoDuck@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
  You sure about that? I found this graph [Source] for population of farm based horses.
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  They only look at US based horses, but according to World Population Review the US are the top owners of horses, having 18% of them
  
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RedEyeFlightControl@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
Cars are just a scam made up by Big Horse to sell more horsepower without actually selling any horses

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frightful_hobgoblin@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
Fuck your Subaru I’ve a horse outside

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- SeeMarkFly@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
  Who cares what time it is, I have a Rolex.
  
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  - mutual_ayed@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
    Nobody drives in NYC there’s too much traffic
    
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Shardikprime@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
Hello, I am an internal combustion car. I can’t go very fast unless the road is all paved, or very far unless you spend billions bringing fuel from thousand of kilometers to feed me. And if you drive me, people will think you’re NOT gay!

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- i_dont_want_to@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
  
  if you drive me, people will think you’re NOT gay!
  
  Time for me to get a horse.
  
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MNByChoice@midwest.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
There are articles from before the automobile discussing the pollution problems with horses. Apparently horses poop, a lot.

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- thejoker954@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
  They do, but it’s an easy fix. Just need a poop bag that catches it as it falls.
  
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  - Shardikprime@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
    Imagine a human being and to shit without stopping movement at any time
    
    The mind shudders
    
    Such person would be too free from the shackles of humanity
    
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  - spankmonkey@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
    Also the infrastructure for getting rid of those bags…
    
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  - limelight79@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
    Or, do what the nearby horse farm does, just head to my neighborhood and leave the horse shit all over the trail and the road and people’s yards!
    
    Seems kind of rude to me, but what do I know.
    
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  - imnotafish@midwest.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
    [deleted]
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- bdonvr@thelemmy.club ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
  At least that’s biodegradable
  
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rational_lib@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
Horses, the original automatic braking

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- Demonmariner@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
  Self driving, too, provided you want to go where the horse wants to go.
  
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  - tetris11@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
    “Urgh, to the bar again? Highly irregular… but oh well…”
    
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  - fibojoly@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
    I keep telling my wife the auto functions in my A3 are like having a horse. Including the odd “oh I’m gonna brake for no reason because I got spooked, now”.
    I fucking love it!
    
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- beejboytyson@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
  Yup, in that they were very good and would fling ppl to thier death.
  
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vga@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
If cars are better than horses, why do horses still exist? Checkmate evolutionist

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- ignotum@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
  Just because cars evolved from horses doesn’t mean horses stop existing, only a portion of the horse population spilt off and evolved into cars
  
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BreadOven@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
Mr. Hands enters the chat…

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Shardikprime@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
Bro there is LITERALLY an anime about horse girls

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Humanity won

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- MDCCCLV@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
  Horses are only fast because of the shape of their four long legs. You can’t just give someone a carrot and long ears and expect them to be a horse. That just makes them a cat rabbit.
  
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  - Shardikprime@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
    They have god-damned tails and superhuman strength for some reason
    
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    We won, but at what cost?
    
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Shardikprime@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
You can’t even eat your car if it died or if you are hungry!

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UnrepententProcrastinator@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
When your drunk, horse drives you home.

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IDKWhatUsernametoPutHereLolol@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
Horses are superior. When your car break down, you’ll starve to death. Horses, however… 😋

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- GoodLuckToFriends@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
  have already starved to death because there’s no food available within 5 standard miles, they tripped over a curb and broke their leg, and some shady looking feller keeps hanging around in the creek back yonder that looks at them shifty…
  
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edinbruh@feddit.it ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
In Italy we eat horses, so they are also farmed for food. I bet all the horses that end up on a slice of bread or a pizza would rather have pulled a carriage. Still they are a much less popular meat, I don’t think horse farming is as bad as, say, pig farming, (for the horse I mean) because there’s much less demand. “Frayed threads” (lack of better translation) of horse are pretty good with olive oil btw.

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Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
“Horses Are Forever” is also the poorly received first draft of Sean Connery’s final Eon-produced James Bond movie.

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noxypaws@pawb.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
And they might come with their own included “truck nuts”

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- GoodLuckToFriends@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
  Horses: proving that extra power comes with reliability and handling issues since 400 CE.
  
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roguetrick@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
Can you milk your car while breeding a new one?

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- Deathray5@lemmynsfw.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
  Time to try
  
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beejboytyson@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
“Hahaha” laughs in invasive species

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whotookkarl@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
What are you going to do, just destroy an entire farrier industry? Think of the economy we can’t build roads to other cities when we need to take care of <insert things we can work on fixing today without ignoring new frontiers and technologies>.

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zarathustra0@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
Just wait a few years and it’ll come true.

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Sam_Bass@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
What’s the oldest serviceable horse breed?

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8000gnat@reddthat.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
this is almost definitely a married to the sea watermark that someone removed the watermark on. why would someone do that?

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- ameancow@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
  Because it’s pro-AI hype BS. No idea what it’s referencing here and now on lemmy where most people here are far less accepting of AI hype, but I’ve seen it used on the highly delusional Singularity subreddit. Usually followed by hundreds of comments from people making actual real-life plans for what they’re going to do when the “artificial super intelligence” makes them wealthy.
  
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Skullgrid@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
It’s missing Kelly and the statue of liberty crying (tears of joy this time)

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kruhmaster@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
Horse sellers were apparently shaking in their boots when automobiles were invented 😆

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- deegeese@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
  One car dealer still in operation today is Normandin, who started out selling horse-drawn carriages.
  
  Smart business make a pivot to new technology.
  
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Aiala@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
Buy my nfts then.

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