Reposting my OC
How to summon a group of gym bros (100% working tutorial 2026)
Submitted 2 hours ago by Absolute_Slayer@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/756a8c68-b412-4da8-8622-76d6bd5a610c.png
Comments
PP_BOY_@lemmy.world 2 hours ago
Carnelian@lemmy.world 1 hour ago
I understand it’s a joke but I wanted to throw some other numbers out there for people to consider, since resistance training can massively improve your quality of life and it’s very common for people to believe it needs to be a full time job to see results. For disclosure, I am a trainer but don’t offer services via lemmy
But you can get head-turning, people-ask-you-questions-unprompted levels of muscular with <5 hours a week in the gym. And that’s the full time commitment for what I’d called a “serious trainee”, any more than that is mainly for people who simply love training as a form of recreation and actively want to spend more time lifting.
Most of my clients do 2.5 hours a week and still get great visual results, albeit more slowly. More importantly, you cash in on quality of life benefits with shockingly little weekly commitment. Even one session per week is enough to feel huge improvements in energy and endurance during day to day tasks, improve your metabolic health, improve your bone health, improve your mental health, as well as experience the whole cascade of improved injury outcomes (for example resistance trained individuals are less likely to fall, less likely to be injured if they do fall, and are more likely to make a full recovery if they do get injured).
It’s extremely worth starting, for all ages and genders. Again, apologies for being overly serious under a joke. I like to leave little comments like this under popular gym posts because it occasionally results in someone beginning or returning to training
Banana@sh.itjust.works 16 minutes ago
So I guess the trick is, and has always been, consistency?
surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 53 minutes ago
I know there’s probably isn’t your area of expertise, but I don’t know where else to ask.
Are there any gym memberships out there that aren’t completely sketchy and impossible to cancel?
REDACTED@infosec.pub 33 minutes ago
Resistance training is not bodybuilding. Most athletic people I’ve seen (especially runners) often look like they have no muscle
codexarcanum@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 hour ago
Wear a nice wrist watch. Not a smart watch, something classy. I have one as a gift and I get compliments from other (arguably straight) men all the time. I have never had a woman mention it (I have had women compliment my shoes, shirts, glasses, etc, so this isn’t a " zero sample size" issue either.)
bravesirrbn@lemmy.world 1 hour ago
What kind of shoes, shirts, glasses etc. do you wear? Asking for a friend
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 38 minutes ago
Crocs, tweed, wraparound bifocals.
Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca 2 hours ago
Now you just need a Harley and you will never see a woman again.
blarghly@lemmy.world 1 hour ago
Lol. Got moto as a chick magnet. Instead it just attracts middle aged men.
Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca 57 minutes ago
In leather.
Angryhumanoid@fedinsfw.app 2 hours ago
Yeah, that’s why I NEVER work out, so I won’t get distracted by other dudes when I’m trying to attract ladies! Wait, I think I see a flaw in my logic….
SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 hours ago
This also works with Beard Bros. You’ll have all the men giving you compliments and women asking you to shave it.
Banana@sh.itjust.works 10 minutes ago
See what you gotta do if you want ladies is grow a mustache. Ladies looooove a stache.
Source: am lady. Love stache.
IAMgROOT@lemmy.wtf 2 hours ago
do not stop this from letting you grow a giant white beard that reaches your knees
sorrybookbroke@sh.itjust.works 1 hour ago
The beard is for me, not them
gray@lemmy.ml 43 minutes ago
You’d think this would work out if you’re gay. But no, you just get lots of attention from straight guys…
wingnut@lemmy.zip 1 hour ago
I think its good he moved on from his expectations and enjoyed the attention he got 🙂
blarghly@lemmy.world 1 hour ago
Lol. I love this joke.
But also, I feel the need (a crime in the shitposting community, I know) to point out that, in fact, most women find muscles on men attractive, and if you are a man trying to attract women, while getting jacked isnt the end-all-be-all, you could certainly have a worse strategy. If you don’t believe me… well, go bench 225 and cut down to abs and get back to me.
If you are benching 225 and have abs already, then the problem is much simpler. The reality is, the modal woman interested in men finds stereotypically masculine things hot - being jacked, riding motorcycles, being able to fight, making lots of money, being good at sports, being a leader, etc. But all of these things are sort of like making upgrades to your car - you can do an engine swap, upgrade the suspension, replace the exhaust, add a spoiler, and put flame decals on the wheels. But your car isnt going to go anywhere if you don’t take your key and put it in the ignition. Similarly, being really hot and attractive in a bunch of different ways isn’t going to get you laid if you can’t meet a new woman and ask if she wants to bone without being weird about it.
happy_wheels@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 hours ago
So wholesome. 10/10 would spot all those Bros.
ceenote@lemmy.world 1 hour ago
Well, having friends is a green flag for dating.
THE_GR8_MIKE@lemmy.world 10 minutes ago
Same with having a nice car lol