blarghly
@blarghly@lemmy.world
- Comment on ultra high iq 3 hours ago:
And yet, their comment was on point. Maybe its like w double negative
- Comment on She's a keeper 7 hours ago:
Also the reason for the rock star phenomenon.
A girl sees a guy with a girlfriend. Girl’s monkeybrain says “she thinks he’s a good bet, so he’s already been vetted, and he’s probably a good bet.”
Now a girl sees a guy at a party with two girls flirting with him. Now two other girls think he’s a good bet. He must be a good bet.
Now scale up. One guy is on stage playing the guitar. 3000 women are screaming that they love him. Our girls monkeybrain: “literally thousands of other girls are debasing themselves to be with him - he is the most desireable guy in the world. Quick, scream, get his attention! He’s your perfect soul mate, just make him notice you!”
- Comment on Cheat Codes Activated 10 hours ago:
Actual heels would be feminine. The concept of high heels is feminine coded. The strut you do when wearing heels is feminine coded.
I once bought a pair of steel toe redwing logging boots for a job I had. They had stupid high heels - like, I must have got a 4" boost. Which I found really annoying, since Im already 6’4". But I can almost guarentee the guy who sold them to me bought them just for that feature, as he was probably a 5’4" blue collar dude with a big truck.
Guys have no real qualms about using fashion to make themselves taller. Heel lifts are a thing. You can probably add 3" to your height without anyone noticing with a 1" platform and a 2" lift or whatever.
What they have a problem with is doing things that are feminine. Which - and it is weird I have to point this out - makes sense because they do not identify as feminine. Every time this topic comes up in left/liberal space, there’s a barrage of comments about how “men are dumb and insecure, why dont they just dress up like pretty girls - wouldn’t that be fun?” Which is so weird coming from a place that constantly talks about affirming peoples’ genders.
Like, imagine you are talking to your friend who is a trans woman. Would you tell them “ugh, but you’d look so handsome in a suit with a short haircut. You have such a nice jawline - you should highlight it by growing out a beard!” Wouldnt that be really fucking weird? Wouldnt it make literally no sense at all, given this individual’s chosen gender identity? Wouldn’t it be considered quite rude and offensive to try to pressure someone into fitting your preference for their gender expression, rather than their own?
Anyway, off topic. The point is, men have all sorts of options at their disposal, but most of these things are designed not to be noticed. The masculine role is to look good, but not flashy. To be put together, but not look like you tried to hard or care too much about your appearance. This is because what men are supposed to bring to the table are skills, resources, and personality. An overemphasis on appearance on the part of a man is seen as trying to get ahead or gain status through superfluous means - advancing without contributing to the group or gaining the friendship and approval of those around them. And this is seen as in poor taste, and is frowned upon. So as a man, if you want to enhance your appearance, you should only do it just enough that it can’t be noticed - or just enough that you look a bit more stylish or put together than the other men around you.
- Comment on Cheat Codes Activated 10 hours ago:
Women in heels, wearing makeup, having a skincare routine, picking clothes that flatter their figure, getting their hair done: they’re having fun and expressing themselves!
Men wearing shoe lifts, getting hair plugs: what insecure losers.
- Comment on mentoring 1 day ago:
Yeah, I feel like people think I’m, like, defending rightwing manosphere content creators, lol.
I’m saying that what these young men want is a given. So people who dont suck need to accept that and give them viable alternatives, rather than telling them that they are wrong for wanting what they want and chastising them for it.
- Comment on What is piefed? 1 day ago:
Time for another fork… sigh…
- Comment on mentoring 1 day ago:
lol
- Comment on Is there any social media without memes and US politics? 1 day ago:
No. If you dont like memes and US politics… good! You simply get on social media, only follow people you know in real life, and then only use it on desktop where there are browser extensions to block “suggested” content or ads.
Get on each platform maybe once per day max. If you see something new that a friend has posted, leave a comment to tell them how great they are. Once per week or so, make your own post about neat things you are doing. Then, go outside.
- Comment on mentoring 1 day ago:
Idk, I guess you werent a punk kid growing up in the burbs.
I think its both, which is usually the case.
- Comment on mentoring 1 day ago:
I mean, the problem here is that - wholesome as Gary is, young men don’t want “wholesome”.
I know that when I was a young man, I wanted to get the fuck out of my home town, have crazy adventures, improve the world on my own terms, and fuck every attractive women that came within 1000m of me (For the record, not much jas changed…).
And Gary is a nice guy with an unattractive wife, a steady job, and two kids. He spends his free time at the bar or mowing the lawn, getting fatter by the year. He likes to talk about the vacation he took to an all inclusive resort with his family a few years ago as if it was the great adventure of his life. Gary doesn’t have the most amazing life, but he has enough, and he’s happy.
And my response to Gary as a young man would have been to appreciate his encouragement, and take his advice with a smile, and then ignore all of it because fuck that nonsense, I am getting the fuck out of this shithole. I am not going to end up like Gary! I am not going to settle for a life of bullshit mediocrity, drinking myself to an early grave while every dream I ever had whithers on the vine. And I am absofuckingloutly not going to follow in his footsteps. Come hell or high water, I will die before I end up with such a piss poor excuse for a life!!!
Point being - if you want young men to take your advice rather than the advice of toxic influencers, you need to validate their desires and ambitions, rather than dismissing them and telling them to want something else. “Oh, you have goal X? Well that’s wrong - you should have goal Y, and here is how I got there” is not an effective way to offer advice to anyone
- Comment on Why do females got to be so hard to talk or flirt with? 1 day ago:
I’d like to gently push back on a few of these points.
To your second point, money. Being rich is hot. Like, it doesnt make you a good person, and it is far less effective than having a good personality. But if OP wants to spin his wheels, there are worse ways he could do it. Being rich and jacked is a bit of a crutch - but hey, crutches work! That’s why people use them!
To your third - yes, he shouldnt go about looking for minute flaws and declare all women to be not good enough for him. But at the same time, he shouldnt drop all standards just to have someone to date, which is often how this advice comes off. Not every woman has an hourglass figure - is OP okay with dating a women who doesnt have such a figure, or is it a requirement for their attraction? Either answer is fine, but OP should be encouraged to date people he actually finds attractive.
To your forth - sometimes quirks are super annoying. If someone has a bad reaction to your quirks… good! That means you arent compatible, and the two of you should move on. OP shouldnt hide their annoyance at peoples quirks they find genuinely irritating. Thats just a setup for frustration and resentment down the line.
To your fifth and sixth - no notes. Big fan of mental health and friendship.
And seventh - why not expect sex early? Plenty of people are more than happy to jump in the sack on a first date. If thats what OP wants, he should go for it. As you said, sexual compatibility is important. If he wants sex early in a potential relationship, he should feel comfortable making this desire clear to potential partners. Then he can find partners who want something similar, and avoid wasting his and others time on dates that dont meet this expectation.
- Comment on You wanted the secret to getting rich? Here it is 2 days ago:
You seem to be acting intentionally dense to avoid changing your mind, so I’m going to stop responding.
- Comment on The next time you hear someone say they're just vibing in life without a job, just look at this image. 2 days ago:
I really doubt you’ll be impressed. Those foods are made for children, who have bland pallettes and like sugar. And adults who never advanced past this stage.
You can get good food in America. But it won’t be a twinkie.
- Comment on The next time you hear someone say they're just vibing in life without a job, just look at this image. 2 days ago:
You are extrapolating a lot from your own experience. I can confirm from my own upbringing that my family always had junk food or soda in the house - eating it was a daily occurance, and it was re-added to the grocery list each time we ran out with little thought given to the potential health impacts. And we only took home leftovers if it was, like, a really big meal.
Sure, not all Americans are like this. I’m not like this, and none of my friends are. But I am aware that I very much live in a bubble.
- Comment on The next time you hear someone say they're just vibing in life without a job, just look at this image. 2 days ago:
Iirc, there is a vibe in India that Hitler was a great leader who should be emulated. Kind if how someone might look to Alexander the Great for leadership tips or something.
- Comment on You wanted the secret to getting rich? Here it is 2 days ago:
You’ve started with the premise that making money is evil, and are working backward from there.
“Oh no, you invested in index funds!!!” - yeah, so does everybody via their 401k or pension.
“Oh no, the work you did had any negative impact at all!!!” - thats basically every job. Communist agitators pollute the environment by driving cars to protests, and vegans kill field mice in their fields of soybeans. There are plenty of ways to make money that make the world better on net.
- Comment on Anon has learned enough 2 days ago:
I mean, we should really be asking why they didnt just take latin as one of their classes
- Comment on Admit it. WE all do this 3 days ago:
I’m just asking because I know literally nothing about you and I’m not interesting enough to come up with an original question.
- Comment on I turned 30 yesterday but I look 18. Nobody believes me when I tell them my age. What do I do? Do I date a 20 year old guy or a 35 year old guy who looks twice my age? 3 days ago:
correct
- Comment on I'm doing my part 3 days ago:
You know that was a joke, right?
- Comment on I'm doing my part 3 days ago:
We have courts instead of mob justice in civilized societies for good reasons. One of those reasons is that mobs rarely follow due process. Once you create a class of people it is okay to enact mob violence against, all you need to do is start rumors to take out the anyone you don’t like. People of particular political persuasions. People of particular sexualities. People of particular races. “Oh Jim? Yeah, I heard he’s a pedo - lets run him out of town! (plus then he wont be able to open that donut shop that would have competed with mine…)”
- Comment on struggling 4 days ago:
OP: “Look at this dumb kid, thinking 6th grade is hard”
Literally Everyone: “The 6th grade stugle is real.”
- Comment on struggling 4 days ago:
strugglin’ strugglin’ struggle- strugglin’ strugglin’ struggle- strugglin’ strugglin’ struggle- strugglin’ strugglin’ struggle-
ev’ry day I’m strugglin’ ev’ry day I’m strugglin’ ev’ry day I’m strugglin’ ev- ev’ry day I’m strugglin’
- Comment on [deleted] 4 days ago:
Essentially, no.
Basically every job in gaming is going to be a shit job. Because everyone likes gaming, so there is a massive applicant pool, so companies can pay you terribly and treat you terribly. There are a tiny, tuny handful of actually good jobs in gaming - top level streamer, game storyboarding, pro gamer - that actually pay at least somewhat decently and have their enjoyable moments. But to get these jobs, you’ll truly need to be the best of the best. You cannot be “casual” - you must be beyond excellent, and charismatic, and lucky. And then you will always be stressed that someone will dethrone you as top dog.
The best way to turn a gaming hobby into a job is to start modding games. This itself wont really make you money either, but it is a good way to learn software. Then you can get a software job.
- Comment on That sounds like a fun thing to do 5 days ago:
Not everyone has to get paid for everything. Volunteering is a thing.
- Comment on Is Mexican food uniquely good with alcohol or have I just been conditioned? 5 days ago:
Do you just mean lagers?
- Comment on Is Mexican food uniquely good with alcohol or have I just been conditioned? 5 days ago:
They are not traditional. Iirc, they were invented during prohibition in the US.
- Comment on What is the difference between a platonic and a romantic relationship? 6 days ago:
Basically the view I have. What do you call a romantic partner you don’t have sex with? A friend.
If there’s no sex or sexual tension, there is no romance.
- Comment on Anon is rude at work 6 days ago:
If you dislike so many people you work with and feel like you are “stuck in a room” at you job, why don’t you get a different job, where you like your coworkers and enjoy what you do?
- Comment on Anon is rude at work 6 days ago:
I mean, that’s called having “work friends”. You hang out at work, maybe grab a beer together sometimes, help each other out professionally, but they typically don’t enter into the rest of your life. This is extremely common.
Also, it really isn’t hard to be a manager to your friends if both people have any level of emotional intelligence. A good manager’s job is to support their subordinates, enable their growth, and shelter them from belligerent demands of uninformed clients or higher-ups.