blarghly

@blarghly@lemmy.world

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Invisible Social Hierarchies - Dominance Vs Prestiger⁩ ⁨⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩:

  Sweet, I look forward to it!

  My personal take is that any kind of theory in self improvement is a lot more useful when you have an example to go along with it. It’s like… if you are programming against a proprietary software, and find a new function you want to call, the documentation can tell you the idea behind it, but how you actually use it becomes a lot more clear when you can look at some example code.

  Also, I watched a few more of your videos. Good stuff!

  I notice you said you have a difficult time maintaining an exercise habit - I have a lot of thoughts here, but the main one is that the biggest issue most people have with maintaining an exercise habit comes from the vast body of fitness culture that has been pervasive for the last half century: in order to get in shape, you must beat yourself up in the gym for hours and hours. It’s about discipline and hard work and blood, sweat, and tears. Waking up at 3am because you’re a fucking Alphalete (an actual, literal activewear brand)! RAAAAAAWR!!!

  Instead, my experience is kind of the exact opposite. I went from living a sedentary lifestyle to exercising regularly simply by having fun. I was in school at the time, and I started by going backpacking in the mountains sometimes on the weekends, playing ultimate frisbee during my lunch break, and joining the swimming team. Overall, I think this strategy is far more effective and sustainable for the average person who is starting from scratch than doing the typically recommended “fitness” things like couch to 5k programs or lifting weights. The three important components are (1) make it fun, (2) make it social, and (3) make it regularly scheduled. Some ideas for things to do are pickup team sports like ultimate frisbee or soccer (most cities have groups that regularly play in the parks), independent sports where people get together to train like running or cycling clubs, athletic arts like acroyoga, lyra, or unicycling, independent but social sports like bouldering in the climbing gym or skating at the skate park, or group training classes like for martial arts or spin cycling. And coming full circle back to the “working out in the gym” motif - this is why CrossFit has been so successful over the years. You show up at a designated time and place to see the same friendly faces, and then complete a series of novel challenges together. The fact that CrossFit regularly turns unathletic people into ripped monsters has far less to do with their specific training methodology, and far more to do with the fact that they cultivate a welcoming communtity with engaging workouts so that people keep showing up and trying hard. It is hard to keep an exercise habit when you think “ugh, its wednesday, I told myself I was going to go to the florescently lit gym and ride the exercise bike while watching TV like that one episode of Black Mirror”. It is easy when you think “thank god it is Wednesday so I can look forward to having fun with my friends after work!”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The cashier said "hello" instead of "hi" 😳⁩ ⁨⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩:

  But you are also human, which means you might also fail yourself. Best to be on the safe side and build a resiliant social support system as well as a resiliant self

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The cashier said "hello" instead of "hi" 😳⁩ ⁨⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩:

  I certainly agree with you there. I think this is a big part of why young men are increasingly moving to right wing spaces. If you look at right wing messaging towards young men, a lot of it centers around their romantic lives. Why? Because that is their pain point. And the right gives them an achievable, believable path to get what they want: get jacked, get rich, be a leader, talk to a lot of women but ignore negative responses. Then add in some casual misogyny to stroke their bruised egos.

  The left’s advice for men’s romantic woes, on the other hand, couldnt be less appealing. Don’t do X. Don’t do Y. This is easy, what’s wrong with you? If you don’t have a satisfying romantic life, you must be a misogynistic piece of shit. If women aren’t interested in you, then just accept it.

  The effect is that the left tends to only attract the most depressed, self hating, and socially anxious men, while the remainder either check out politically or move to the right.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The cashier said "hello" instead of "hi" 😳⁩ ⁨⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩:

  As someone who actually climbs mountains, I can tell you that it can actually be quite complicated depending on the mountain, lol.

  But anyway - climbing a mountain is impressive, if I do say so myself!

  On the whole, I agree and disagree. I think that in general you should focus on doing things that would impress you. Like, I like climbing mountains, and so I set climbing goals for myself that I find impressive. And then girls with similar values to myself - adventurous, athletic, pragmatic, open minded women - are attracted to me because I am doing things they also find impressive. On the other hand, women who, say, really like going to the club and working corporate office jobs and starting families in white picket fence homes tend to be less impressed. But this works out for me because I will enjoy my time with the former far more than the latter, while someone with different values from me may enjoy the latter more than the former.

  So I’m a big fan of being the best version of you that you can be.

  But on the other hand, I think we should be quite frank about the fact that there are some things that guys can do that are generally attractive. Trying to improve these things, especially in a place like Lemmy, is often construed as misguided or shallow or fake - but I think this is mostly because Lemmy is a crab bucket for lonely men, and even if you improve at these things solely for the purpose of getting more bjs, your life will be better for it in the long run

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The cashier said "hello" instead of "hi" 😳⁩ ⁨⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩:

  How to impress a girl: do something impressive.

  How to get compliments as a guy: do something that is compliment-worthy.

  How to get called hot as a guy: be hot

  It’s not complicated. It’s a shit ton of work, but it’s not complicated.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The cashier said "hello" instead of "hi" 😳⁩ ⁨⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩:

  Please provide an example of an average guy trying to strike up a respectful conversation with a random girl and going to jail for it. Literally any example. Just one.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨AI girlfriends VS Egirls⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩:

  And what about pineapples, huh? Not from a pine tree, not an apple! What the fuck society, are you high?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨AI girlfriends VS Egirls⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩:

  Why? E girls provide a service that is rare and valuable, and the people who pay them clearly prefer to pay them for this service rather than not recieving the service. So do you think the E girls should be made to provide their services for free, or do you want to deprive the people who pay them of assuaging their loneliness even a little?

  Sure, you could say something about how if society were structured differently, no one would be lonely and everything would be sunshine and unicorn farts. But neither the E girls nor their customers can have any real impact on the whole shape of society.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Invisible Social Hierarchies - Dominance Vs Prestiger⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Good vid. Would like to see more. Also, I feel like the video format would be improved with personal anecdotes from your own life - after all, why would I trust you to improve my life, if you haven’t had the experience of improving your own?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨take their money and arrest those responsible⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  This is a political non-starter, and you’ve pretty much gotten to the point all the people criticising this post are trying to make. Almost no one is willing to make a significant sacrifice in their lifestyle for the sake of the climate, which is why memes like the above exist. They create a make-believe fairytale land where we just have to beat the big bad, and we can all live happily ever after.

  But imagine what would happen in any democratically elected nation if a politician actually started making everyones lives worse. Sure, some would keep a stiff upper lip and bear it - but the vast majority would put them out on their ass asap in favor of the first person who said they would make things better.

  That’s why literally every climate proposal includes policies to improve things for the average person. Carbon dividends or UBI or trains or street trees or green jobs, etc. You have to be realistic about politics as much as you are realistic about carbon economics.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨take their money and arrest those responsible⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  The products you buy were made in factories powered by fossil fuels, shipped across oceans in fossil fuel powered ships, and arrive at the shop in fossil fuel powered trucks. The food you eat is fertilized with fossil fuels, and the industrial growing, processing, and packaging process puts carbon into the atmosphere. The streets you walk on are made from concrete, which releases carbon into the atmosphere from the chemical process used to synthesize it. And even if you live some magical life where you can avoid personally paying the cost of all of these things, the same is not true of everyone else, who needs to drive cars to work on asphalt highways, heat their homes with wood/propane/ng stoves, eats industrially produced food, and have all this economic activity protected via a fossil fuel powered military. And an increased price of carbon means that their lives cost more, which means they need higher wages, which means everything they produce that you might buy also gets more expensive.

  I don’t disagree with you that gas prices should be higher. In fact, I think the only way to get from here to there is to appropriately price carbon. But to act like there is no potential for hardship among average people - that there arent legitimate challenges to weening off the carbon-heavy economy we are used to - is disingenuous at best

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨take their money and arrest those responsible⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I don’t think anyone disagrees with this. But the above meme always irks me, because it implies that if only those mean ol’ corporations would just stop it, all us good people could stop climate change and get back to driving our F150s in peace.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨take their money and arrest those responsible⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I still feel like these numbers are not appropriately representative… iirc, the vast majority of world oil supplies come from nationalized oil companies, which keep the lions share of the profits of oil production as a source of national revenue. So assuming I havent been misled, my best guess is that the private firms are contracted for extraction and refinement, and so the total carbon footprint gets lumped together under them, rather than being split between the national governments who contract them

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  What about Islam?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon is a tired bissexual⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  But I also have to acknowledge that simply the fact that a man won’t rule out men as sexual partners, regardless of if he even realizes that desire, makes him undateable for a lot of women, which i can only see as bigotry - maybe those women see other men as something they can’t compete with, and that is a completely made up thing.

  I mean, I don’t believe that this doesn’t exist. But also, I think you are still failing to consider that most peoples sexual/relationship preferences are not logically derived, but are instead driven by very deep psychological drives that the individual has little if any control over.

  Also, I’m not trying to insult you here, but I feel like you should take a step back and consider something else, which is that you yourself may be falling into a very common thought pattern of men who do not feel sufficiently desired by women. The great abundance of slash fiction should be evidence enough that many women find men who sleep with other men attractive. Why not just date those women? Or to put it another way - if you had 8 different women blowing up your phone to suck your bi dick, would you really be all that concerned with the women who weren’t interested in you?

  I feel like what is really going on is that you aren’t getting the female attention you want, so you are boiling it down to whatever your biggest insecurity is (you are bi) and then concluding that women are bad people (they are bigots). But we can easily swap in something else: I don’t get the female attention I want because I’m short and women are shallow. I don’t get the female attention I want because I’m poor and women are gold diggers. I don’t get the female attention I want because I’m Indian and women are racist. Etc. And these guys do have a legitimate complaint of unfairness. They do get less attention from women than they would otherwise if they were tall, rich, and white. But it is sort of like complaining that a bird shit on your shirt - yeah it sucks. But it is no one’s fault, and the only thing to do is accept it and start dealing with it.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon is a tired bissexual⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  What makes a social construct any less real or any more mutible than physiology?

  Again, the gay community has been arguing for a while now that gender itself is a social construct. Suppose we have a nice lesbian couple. Then one day, one if the women says to the other “it has taken me a long time to realize this, but I’m actually a man. I’m going to start boxing, shooting guns, focusing on earning lots of money, and rebuilding a Trans Am.” If his (formerly her) partner hears this and loses attraction to him - not through any rational mechanism nor potential change in body shape or dress, but simply because she is turned off by the cultural construct of masculinity - then does that make her attraction discriminatory?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon is a tired bissexual⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  It isn’t a stigma. It’s a preference. Sure, some women might not want to date a bi guy because “what will my friends think?” or something. But many will just find the idea of a man wanting to sleep with other men unattractive for literally any reason or lack of reason and that’s fine. Everyone is entitled to their own sexual preferences and, importantly, you aren’t going to talk them out of it. Peoples sexual preferences are about as under their control as their intuition that poop smells bad and flowers smell good. It’s really weird when gay people don’t get this, because they’ve been fighting for the past several decades to get the straights to realize that they aren’t choosing to be gay.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨she’s really honest indeed💖⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I shave for other people. If no one was gonna suck my dick, then I would never shave - why go to the trouble, after all? But most people don’t like hair getting stuck in their throat, so I shave. Because I care about my partners’ experience.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The Tesseract Question⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  lol. You found the joke

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How to summon a group of gym bros (100% working tutorial 2026)⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Hard disagree. The main character of the comic is taking an active interest in improving himself through living a healthy lifestyle. In his interactions with others, he behaves in a friendly and genuine way. In the panel you are describing, he is essentially striking a flirtatious - but masculine - pose and attempting to make eye contact… which is the default way that women will typically try to indicate openness to potential suitors. The location appears to be a public park, which is a very normal place to interact with strangers.

  Really, saying it is the wrong place at the wrong time is an interesting thing to say, because what is the right place and time? You say this like there is some sort of set of rules, like those Victorian books of aristocratic manners, about when it is and is not appropriate to interact with someone. If you have such a book for the modern era, I would love to read it… but I have seen neither hide nor hair. Instead, it seems like the “appropriate” time and place is a mythical moving target. Even if you specifically have some sort of idea of places you personally think are appropriate - wait ten minutes and someone will come along to contradict you. Gym? No. Class? No. The park? No. The club? No. Coffee shop? No. Dance class? What you’re not here purely for the sake of learning a beautiful art form? Ew, no. In my view, the only places really “appropriate” for meeting women are:

  1. Explicit “singles” events - where the women present will consist almost entirely of women looking for committed, long term relationships.
  2. Dating apps, which everyone hates.
  3. Completely accidental interactions.

  In all these situations, men are heavily disadvantaged in achiving their goals of finding partners to have sex with, since the first two will always have an extreme disparity between men and women with the same goals, and the latter is, by definition, impossible to make happen or seek out.

  I propose a different idea. Any reasonable, sex positive person will tell you - sex is no big deal. It is just like anything else. Okay, then let’s treat it like anything else. Suppose you like metal music, or playing tennis, or building neat bicycles. When is it appropriate to say hello to someone with this context? Like, suppose you are hanging out in the park, and see someone walking by carrying a tennis racket. It’s reasonable to walk up to them and say “Hey! I see you play tennis! Me to!” And then maybe you can talk some more, and actually both of you are looking for tennis partners, and you have a lot of fun together. Or maybe you are sitting outside a cafe, and someone rolls up on their pennyfarthing. It wouldnt be out of turn for you to say “Wow, that’s a sick pennyfarthing!” We can even see an example of this in the very comic above, where guys come over and talk to our bro-hero in the park about lifting.

  Now, maybe Mr. Pennyfarthing is having a bad day. Maybe he runs the national association of neat bicycles, and your bike is just so under his standard that he is already bored of talking to you. Or maybe he is an alcoholic who lost his job and his pennyfarthing is the only means of transportation that he has and he is so fucking tired of people commenting on it, FUCK! And so maybe when we try to strike up a conversation, he won’t be interested, or might be grumpy, or might even go off on us, saying we are assholes for bringing it up. But that doesn’t make us assholes - after all, we were just trying to strike up a friendly, fun conversation.

  Similarly, if a girl walks over to the cafe rocking a bodacious ass in skintight booty shorts, it is perfectly reasonable to say “wow, you look like you have an interest in being a sexy human - me too!” (in so many words, lol). And maybe she’ll feel anxious, or pissed off. And maybe she’ll run away sobbing, crying “I didn’t ask for this luscious badonk, it’s a curse!!” But much like Mr Pennyfarthing, that is her problem, and none of this means that we are bad people.

  Which kind of brings me to the last point I wanted to make, which is your use of the word “creep”. It seems like your justification for this is that he is staring at women - but there is no indication that he is staring at women at all. In fact, the joke of the comic implies, to me at least, that literally as soon as he shows up at the park he is inundated with guys wanting to talk about lifting.

  But suppose he was staring. Let’s consider his actions and intentions. We see no evidence of ill will towards women - in fact, he has gone to great efforts to make himself more appealing to them. And without some sort of malintent, such staring should be considered, at worst, a social faux pas. After all - we look at things we are interested in, and at people we would like to speak to. But sometimes we don’t initiate because we are shy or anxious. And if bro is not even aware that it is a social faux pas, he can hardly be blamed for doing it.

  But working backward through the line of reasoning in your comment, we see - he seems creepy because he is staring, and because he seems creepy, he must be a creep, and because he is a creep, talking to women can’t possibly help him. To me, this chain of logic seems to be making a lot of logical leaps that aren’t justified, and instead I think it is something of a post-hoc rationalization which essentially boils down to slut shaming.

  Men who want to have sex with women are bad - which is why we know this man is bad, and everything he does is bad. Any effective strategy he might adopt to gain a more enjoyable and fulfilling sex life, like working out to have a hot body, noticing potential sexual partners, or interacting with those potential sexual partners, are therefore also bad. But since polite society is nominally sex positive, calling him a slut would be in bad taste - and so instead he is called a creep, under cover of “protecting women” - ironically, shaming him for doing the very things that most women would find attractive: being hot, being socially confident, taking initiative. And the overall social effect is a net negative: since trying to be an attractive and sexually successful man is liable to get you labelled a creep - a term that implies not a lack of attainable skill, but a fundamental moral failing - the men who are most likely to take effective steps towards being appealing to women are men who don’t care about being good people.

  Thank you for coming to my TED Talk

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Can anyone confirm?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  My criteria wasnt about appeal, but influence. Dallas and Houston are the biggest hubs of cowboy culture, which is probably the most iconic American look recognized around the world. These cities define the way other US cities are built, leading the way in car centric design. And the oil industry is responsible for every war we’ve been in for the last 30 years.

  Atlanta, in addition to having a large population, is a huge center for music, food, and civil rights, and plays an outsized role in national politics as turnout there can sway presidential elections and congressional balance.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Can anyone confirm?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Not a large enough population. Maybe Seattle

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Can anyone confirm?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Denver is my city, but I don’t think it qualifies.

  I think Denver has a lot of great qualities - it is the home of outdoor/mountain life in the US, has the fittest population of any major city, is one of the biggest hubs of craft beer and cannabis, and is a significant player in tech, aerospace, and finance. Considering “Denver” to be the whole Front Range and I70 corridor, we are also a major military hub, the home of the olympics training center, and a hub for advanced computer chip design. We have a significant EDM music scene, the world famous Red Rocks amphitheatre, and world famous skiing at Aspen and Vail.

  However, I can’t imagine putting Denver on the list at #4 for major American cities - the biggest factor simply being population. NYC metro has a population of 24 million. SF: 9 million; Houston: 8 million; Atlanta: 7 million. Denver has 3 million.

  That might be forgiveable if it were more influential in culture, politics, or economics - but it isn’t. The political and economic power of Houston-Dallas have been the driving force in all the wars we’ve been in for the past 30 years: oil. Denver’s biggest political claim to fame is making weed legal. Our urbanist movement seems to have stalled out, and as many of my friends have commented - the city itself is fairly ugly in most places. And Denver fails to have any kind of unique and distinctive cuisine, instead, having a food scene that is, in the estimation of everyone who has visited, quite bad.

  The three major cultural forces in Denver are Mexican, Midwestern Nice, and Mountain Yuppie. All of these together tend to create culture that is diven and hard-working, but that also has other priorities (like family, work-life balance, and time in the mountains). But this also creates a culture that has less emphasis on relaxation, creativity, and social openness. I’ve often said that the reason Denver punches under its weight on food and night life is because the typical demographic you would see hitting bars and restaurants on a Friday night - young professionals with disposable income - are going to bed early to go hiking Saturday morning. And these cultural priorities (along with the general auto-dependence of the city) combine to create a city that is not particularly welcoming to visitors and newcomers, and which mostly keeps to itself on the national and international stage. And at least politically, I think this has worked out well for us as (Imo) we typically have extremely sensible legislation governing the city and state (compared to other cities and states I hear about, at least).

  While I would love to see Denver grow into one of the great cities in north america, at present I see it as more of a character actor - a city that is known and relevant because of a certain aspect of itself, but which is not a major player. Thus, it finds itself in the company of cities like Portland, New Orleans, Austin, Orlando, Las Vegas, or Detroit - cities that a foreigner has a 50/50 shot of knowing about because of a distinctive characteristic they have.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The Tesseract Question⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I think the developer makes some excellent points, but I don’t know if I support them because, since they moved the github repo, I don’t know if I’m on the blocklist or not

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Can anyone confirm?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Correct. The cities in rotation are Dallas (the capital of oil), Houston (the other capital of oil), Atlanta (the capital of black people), Miami (the capital of Latino people), SF (the capital of rich people), and DC (the capital).

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How to summon a group of gym bros (100% working tutorial 2026)⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I mean, the limitation of calisthenics isnt the back, but the legs. Not to say there arent good leg exercises, but the legs are so strong that you have to get pretty creative pretty quickly if you want to keep progressing them.

  The other thing I want to note is that a lot of people gravitate towards calisthenics because you can do it at home, and they feel uncomfortable in a gym, so they decide to try calisthenics rather than face their gym anxiety. And while this can work for some people, for most it will hamstring their progress since exercising alone at home is almost custom-designed to kill motivation and habit formation, and thus will stop people from staying consistent and getting the results they want. In addition, calisthenics progressions are often pretty big leaps, and it can be frustrating to be able to rep out 20 on one exercise, and then be shut down by the progression.

  If you think that calisthenics is cool, or you dont have the money for a gym membership or equipment, or if there are no gyms around you, then go for it! But I would suggest you do your workouts somewhere other than at home (like at a local park) and that you try your best to meet up with others with a similar interest, as these are the things that will make the habit stick.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How to summon a group of gym bros (100% working tutorial 2026)⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  This is true, but you failed to mention that resistance bands are the least satisfying form of resistance

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How to summon a group of gym bros (100% working tutorial 2026)⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Chill, I’m just repeating a common joke in the moto community

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How to summon a group of gym bros (100% working tutorial 2026)⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Joint health, bone density, and strength/muscle mass are things you will miss out on if, say, you just play ultimate frisbee. But getting stronger doesnt have to be 3 sets of 8 on bench. You can get essentially the same health benefits by engaging in sports that train strength, like martial arts, acrobatics, or rock climbing. That said, many people who do any kind of physical activity aggressively typically find that they enjoy lifting at some point in their athletic careers, as lifting itself can improve athletic performance and ward off sports injuries, due to the controlled and progressive nature of gym work, as compared to the more chaotic nature of real-world activities.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How to summon a group of gym bros (100% working tutorial 2026)⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Find a locally owned gym. Ask what their policy is on day passes, month to month, contracts, etc. The cost will be a bit higher than Planet Fitness, but they probably won’t screw you, and the community tends to be way better.

  Also, if you want to get fit, I highly recommend finding a gym that is either “fun” or offers classes. Rock climbing, gymnastics/acrobatics, martial arts, etc tend to be more fun and engaging than showing up 3 days a week to do 3 sets of 8, and if your goal is to just generally get fit and healthy. For that matter, there are also often groups meeting up all over cities for free or cheap to run, cycle, walk, boat, play sports, etc. And if you’re really dedicated to some kind of lifting, having a time and place to show up, where you know you will see friendly faces trying hard together is far more likely to keep you consistent. This is why crossfitters are often ripped, despite crossfit being a dumb training philosophy - it got the fundamentals right: get people to show up consistently and try hard by making a welcoming community that gathers at a regular time and place. Often powerlifting, oly lifting, kettlebell, strongman, and off-brand/crossfit-style gyms will offer regular classes where people train together for this very reason.