Dude should not have listened to pickup artists.
Anon finds his people
Submitted 21 hours ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to greentext@sh.itjust.works
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/835d2be8-a2c4-41f9-b7ed-ae1f8174ee0d.png
Comments
Cruxifux@feddit.nl 20 hours ago
blarghly@lemmy.world 19 hours ago
Yes.
But also, would the result have been different?
Cruxifux@feddit.nl 18 hours ago
Impossible to know just from this post. But it certainly lowered his chances exponentially.
FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 17 hours ago
Which part of this has anything to do with pickup artists
Cruxifux@feddit.nl 17 hours ago
…the part where he fucking says he started watching pick up artist shit?
MrLLM@ani.social 20 hours ago
Fake: anon took care of themselves
Gay: everyone knows that girl stands for Guy In Real Life™️
degen@midwest.social 4 hours ago
Is it bad that part of me misses Ray William Johnson?
ICastFist@programming.dev 13 hours ago
Gay: anon is on grindr, but didn’t reveal it
rumschlumpel@feddit.org 12 hours ago
Now I wonder how many bi guys who are getting it on on Grindr would still consider themselves incels. I bet the number isn’t zero.
phoenixz@lemmy.ca 10 hours ago
got rejected once, now I’m an incel!
Yeah, with that attitude you sure are. It’s called dating, and you just try again until you find that awesome person
NikkiDimes@lemmy.world 7 hours ago
Well, if he’s doing pick up artist shit (pua), he’s definitely an incel.
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 3 hours ago
Failing romantically is painful and difficult. Especially when you’re younger and your emotions are still new and raw, it’s easy to fixated on a single person, to obsess and stew and cultivate insecurity and paranoia.
One of the big secrets to dating is not to do it alone. Throw parties, join clubs, mix with people your age. The apps are a trap. You’ll have far more luck dragging a friend or two with you to the gym and meeting people who work out at the same time. Or doing Rec League volleyball or basketball or running club or whatever. Or volunteering or going to church or literally leaving the house for any reason and hanging out with other people.
Why do you think so many 20-somethings spend every night out at The Club? It’s not for the smell.
Flickerby@lemmy.zip 13 hours ago
His problem started at the pick up artists videos. Women are just people. Just talk to them like people. So long as you have good hygiene and you can carry a conversation you’re 90% above most other men. All of these problems start with these stupid people treating each gender like they’re some entirely different species born on a different planet. People are just people.
blarghly@lemmy.world 7 hours ago
Women are just people. Just talk to them like people.
All of these problems start with these stupid people treating each gender like they’re some entirely different species born on a different planet. People are just people.
The problem is, as a straight guy, my personal lived experience is that if an attractive women walked up to me in the Wendy’s and said “Hey, you’re hot, I’m horny. Wanna fuck in the bathroom right now?”, my response would be “Yes. Let me wash my hands first. Or not. Maybe you’re into fry grease.”
And yet, this has never happened to me. And every peice of cultural conditioning I have, from tv shows in my youth to jokes my friends tell to corporate HR policies tell me that this would be an inappropriate thing to do, were the sexes reversed.
So I consider - perhaps I am a sexual deviant. But this argument falls flat on its face, as again, pretty much every peice of cultural conditioning I have indicates that this is a fairly normal way to feel as a sexually mature male human. But then, maybe this is propaganda created by the patriarchy to reinforce gender stereotypes and, I dunno… oppress women somehow? But there is plenty of evidence that this is a fairly common position for male humans to have, as evidenced by women recieving unsolicited dick pics, the preponderance of porn on the internet directed at men, or the very existance of pickup artists at all. But still, this all exists within heteronormative bounds, so maybe it is still propaganda by the capitalists or something. But the biggest nail in the coffin here is Grindr. Take a look at pretty much any gay man’s Grindr. Open the app, see the first profile that comes up. What do you see? A pic of some guy’s asshole. Bio: “Wanna fuck my ass? I’m down rn. Send me a message.” This is a common, expected, and accepted experience on Grindr. Apparently, when given the option, two gay dudes will be fucking in the Wendy’s bathroom as a first date no problem. And I can therefore conclude that I am not significantly outside the norm for male sexuality. It is possible that there are less horny men out there, and they may even be the majority. But I have at the very least established that my sexuality is common enough such that it is non-negligible.
I can thus conclude that, to some extent, my sexuality and that of the modal woman differ, and I cannot rely on my own lived experience as a good proxy. I must therefore treat the mind of the modal woman as a black box, and with some combination of evidence, solve for X. Really, as a straight male, the fact that the modal woman has different desires than me should be patently obvious, since I find penises to be gross (except mine, which is great!), while I am explicitly looking for a person who thinks penises are hot.
This is neither a bad or manipulative thing to do, nor an uncommon thing. In fact, it is extremely common. For example, if I have a bag of sand and want to sell it, then I will need to ask myself - what can I do to make my bag of sand appeal to people who might want to buy it? As a seller, I want to do no work and get as much money as possible, but as a buyer, they also want to do no work, but they want to pay as little money as possible. Thus, in order to sell my sand, I must expand my consciousness outside of my own personal lived experience and consider the motivations and desires of minds which are foreign to me.
Via genetics or epigenetics or hormones or culture or the convergent influences of common lived experiences, modal male and female sexualities, desires, norms, and expectations are different. This is fine. But it does create a demand for information on what the other sex desires, and how best to go about serving the two’s mutual interest. Thus, I think there is a strong case to be made for the fact that denying these differences is actively harmful. By doing so, we cede the space to people like PUAs, who are willing to acknowledge these differences, and who will then monopolize the advice market, even if their advice is terrible
rumschlumpel@feddit.org 12 hours ago
and you can carry a conversation
You realize this is a 4chan poster who says that they never actually tried to “seduce” a girl, right? No way this guy is even halfway decent at carrying a conversation with a stranger, especially if that stranger isn’t the same kind of nerd they are, and most of this kind of people stay at home anyway so you can’t meet them.
blarghly@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
On one hand, I don’t think you’re wrong. I wasn’t really discussing OOP specifically, but instead was expanding the topic of conversation into generalities. But yeah, OOP probably has some more basic issues to work through first.
On the other, it’s not like Lemmings don’t share most of the same attributes you just described. Nerds who are bad at conversations who mostly stay at home, who have a lot of bullshit opinions.
Smeagol666@crazypeople.online 11 hours ago
I think Bill Burr said that if you’re not a rapist, then you’re an incel. If you ask for sex, and she says no, and you go jerk off instead of taking it by force, you are then, in fact involuntarily celibate.
P.S.:I’m still kinda pissed at him for taking the Saudi gig.
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 3 hours ago
“Don’t feel bad about being an incel. Everyone who isn’t a literal rapist is an incel. It’s okay” is one of the more enlightenment takes.
Tuxman@sh.itjust.works 4 hours ago
Bill Burr showing that everybody has a price…
drunkpostdisaster@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
It’s hard for me to stay mad at him.
TheBat@lemmy.world 20 hours ago
Inspiring
AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 9 hours ago
That’s a good start. Now make sure to stop washing and fart/belch copiously in public to protect yourself from relapsing into the pool of eligible bachelorhood.
Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 14 hours ago
realize i’ve never actually tried to seduce a girl
Satire maybe? Women may want to be charmed, but we don’t want to be seduced, so starting right there anon’s in for a bad time.
rumschlumpel@feddit.org 12 hours ago
I wouldn’t put too much weight on word choice here. For all we know they aren’t even a native English speaker and they’re definitely socially inept, the nuance of “seducing” might not be that obvious to them.
Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
That’s a really good point
shneancy@lemmy.world 13 hours ago
experienced kinksters in the process of being seduced would be on high alert looking for any and all red flags or attempts to push their boundaries. because though seduction is hot - if a stranger does it to impress you, you should be paying close attention to what they do next
orbituary@lemmy.dbzer0.com 19 hours ago
I spit when I read the last line.
Isolde@lemmy.world 15 hours ago
I too spit at this line! Tuah tuah
sexy_peach@feddit.org 10 hours ago
well deserved for watching pick up artist shit. Imagine trying to desperately manipulate your date/aquaintances
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 3 hours ago
I mean, a lot of PUA advice is basic bitch “wash your ass”, “dress nice”, “engage in interesting conversation” tips that get glazed in new age pop psychology.
And if you go to the OG Bible of the PUAs (and get all the way to the end of the book) Neil Strauss makes all the same critiques of PUAs in the book that’s supposed to laud them.
The mistake people make is in reading the material like a How To Plumber’s Guide to fixing your dick drain instead of a life experience that informs a moment in history. You can learn from the mistakes of other people without becoming an asshole.
drunkpostdisaster@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
I think hisnheart is in the right place I mean he did work on himself. The issue is no one else is really talking to these guys.
L7HM77@sh.itjust.works 9 hours ago
Thanks for translating, I could only read “pole up ass.”
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
it’s a distinction without a difference
EldenLord@lemmy.world 7 hours ago
I‘m pretty sure Anon watches this also