Smeagol666

@Smeagol666@crazypeople.online

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The script is mysterious and important.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  All the way, my brother! Fuck Will Smith and his whole fucking family.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨No lowballs, please. I know what I have.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Comes with a green lid that’s two sizes too small. In an alternate dimension, there’s a smaller green bowl with an over-sized yellow lid.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Scientist gives himself brain damage by testing secret audio weapon on himself in attempt to disprove 'Havana Syndrome'⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  “Oh, he wasn’t eating his own shit, so it’s not an exact match.”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The meaning of life?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  At least it will give your children or siblings something to fight over when you die.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Rage for the machine?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Tim Pool and Mothercuckers.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Fail as you try to act sophisticated⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Rimmer, you silly fucker.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Thanks 🙏🏻⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  I don’t know nothing about nothing.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨It’s a beautiful morning!⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  I know, right? Nothing like a huge dump of adrenaline caused by the unmitigated rage you get from seeing the huge pile of shit left by the previous shift. Better than caffeine to wake you up.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Everybody: If There Was a Meme Museum, What Meme(s) Would You Put In It? (down below)⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Success Kid, Disaster Girl and Grumpy Cat. Same rules apply as AFV: kids and pets win every time.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I just went to the doctor's office and my copay is up $5 compared to last year⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  My gf’s copays were $20 last year, they’re $55 now. fuck United Health. we need more Luigis.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨really makes you think⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Maybe that’s why they used to call it “hydrophobia”.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨really makes you think⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  I moved from Nebraska to North Carolina 20 years ago and still haven’t adjusted to the nasty taste of chlorinated water. I guess it’s better than getting cholera or e. coli.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Do you have to deal with this during your morning commute?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Having been a 2nd and 3rd shifter most of my adult life, I miss going shopping in the middle of the night when hardly anyone was there.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon finds his people⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  I think Bill Burr said that if you’re not a rapist, then you’re an incel. If you ask for sex, and she says no, and you go jerk off instead of taking it by force, you are then, in fact involuntarily celibate.

  P.S.:I’m still kinda pissed at him for taking the Saudi gig.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨My most controversial opinion⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  I finally tried it once a few years ago, and it was good, but if I’m buying, it’s gotta be pepperoni, shrooms and green pepper.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Sensory issues⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Yeah, fuck that. I tear out tags, or cut them off. Some t-shirts actually come tag-less or put the tag at the bottom.

  The older I get (I’m 54) I find the less tolerance I have for bullshit.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Definitely spongeworthy⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  I love a good Clerks reference, here’s some Lemmy Silver {S}.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨3-bean soup⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  I came here for this.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨And what car did you learn in?⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  My first car was a '73 VW Super Beetle.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Experts disagree⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Santa is the most communist of communists; giving gifts to all children just for being “good”.

  This is how I started questioning the existence of Santa, even kids I knew were little bastards got all the good gifts.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Check yourself before you rex yourself⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  When they make the movie The Time Traveler’s Dino, will it be animated or CGI?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨5 tomatoes⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  I remember reading this quote a few years ago (probably Reddit), but I don’t remember if attribution was given. Kudos to you CAVOK.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨does the new employee eventually stop being the one given the most tasks?⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  One place I worked at was my 3rd or 4th print shop. Years ago, to save money on production costs, we would have to “gum the plates”. This involved cleaning and then “gumming” sets of used plates so they could be reused later. Once while at the plated gumming station I was gumming a set of six plates we had used to print a 6-color job. I was a helper on the six-color, but two color presses only had one man crews. One guy pipes up and tells me: “Hey, new guys have to gum all our plates.”

  “Yeah? Bite me!”

  “No, really!” this dickhead said.

  “No, really!” I answered while grabbing my crotch in the universal gesture of disrespect.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Also Dear Leader doesn’t poop, and hit 18 holes-in-one, again just yesterday…

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Name this minivan⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Gatormobile. I can easily imagine the owner supplementing his income by poaching alligators in Florida or Louisiana.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨My favorite board game!⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  My dipfuck younger brother once stuck some chicken wire in an outlet, and scared the shit out of himself. I had acquired the chicken wire in order to make a turtle trap, that ended up working too well.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Water Boil Advisory⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  If you live near Pawtucket,

  Do not drink from the communal bucket.

  The local water stinks,

  So I only drinks,

  Bottled water or vodka, so fuck it.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨PS5 may get more price increases in the US, analyst warns⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  They can keep the fucking thing with all of these dogshit “AAA” games that come out half baked and/or dark pattern tricks to try and fuck you out of even more money. I’m glad I never bothered with Diablo 4 or POE 2.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Bring out the trumpets and pour out the beer⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  We need more Louis Gs.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Why are they even doing this, the grass wasn't even that tall⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  I feel you brother. Nobody respects the idea that night shifters need sleep too. I met my gf over 20 years ago. We worked together on night shift, so she understood the trials and tribulations of night shift workers. She became disabled soon after, and no longer worked. About 10 years ago I was asleep, and was awakened by BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM, in the kitchen. I get up to see what the fuck was going on. She’s standing at the counter trying to open a jar of pickles by smacking the lid on said counter. I must have cussed her out for five straight minutes. “Did you really need some fucking pickles that goddam bad?” and "goddammit woman, you know better, " were among the choice phrases I had for her.