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*laughs nervously*

⁨956⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨Anonymous_Leaker@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/6a8716dd-2d72-443e-8561-a16a08e170e3.jpeg

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Comments

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  • Lexam@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    You already have a toilet subscription, it’s called your water bill.

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    • Gladaed@feddit.org ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Also, rent.

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    • markz@suppo.fi ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      You don’t see the potential. Imagine what we can achieve once every toilet is connected to the cloud!

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      • SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        Wut? you guys don’t use Copilot to shit yet? Are you stupid?

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      • BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        Without AI flush your pipes will break bro

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      • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        We could optimize performance so that every flush is catered to your needs!

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      • RogueBanana@piefed.zip ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        Sorry to share the bad news

        https://gadgetsandwearables.com/2025/10/30/kohler-dekoda/

        The device Kohler Dekoda is priced at $599 on the company’s website. In addition to the one-off hardware cost, there is a subscription required for the companion Kohler Health app: the single‑user plan is US $6.99 per month, or US $70 per year.

        Just a random website from search results.

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      • Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        Competitive shitting. Had this idea 5 years ago when we were debating toilet upgrades for some reason.

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    • CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      But what about second subscription. Don’t you care about the share holders?

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      • L7HM77@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        I already have second subscription, it’s the sewer bill. Should I consider getting third subscription?

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    • Thorry@feddit.org ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      I also pay specific sewage tax, which is legally required for anyone with a sewage connection to their home. And for people who don’t, they probably have some kind of septic system where they pay for the materials and personnel to upkeep that.

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      • Lexam@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        We have a sewer bill and it’s higher than the water bill.

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    • elephantium@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      That was my thought when I saw this post

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    • flop_leash_973@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Bathroom water handling fee.

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  • BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    2048 and this guy has running water? Fake news!

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  • Lay@piefed.social ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Why on earth is there a gemini watermark on this?

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    • ayyy@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Because it’s slop.

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      • Bongles@lemmy.zip ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        What do you expect a person to go into their own bathroom (of which everyone has) and fake fail to open the toilet (that we all have) with the camera (that we all have on our phones)?!

        Unreasonable!

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  • froh42@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    The door refused to open. It said, “Five cents, please.”
    He searched his pockets. No more coins; nothing. “I’ll pay you tomorrow,” he told the door. Again he tried the knob. Again it remained locked tight. “What I pay you,” he informed it, “is in the nature of a gratuity; I don’t have to pay you.”
    “I think otherwise,” the door said. “Look in the purchase contract you signed when you bought this conapt.”
    In his desk drawer he found the contract; since signing it he had found it necessary to refer to the document many times. Sure enough; payment to his door for opening and shutting constituted a mandatory fee. Not a tip.
    “You discover I’m right,” the door said. It sounded smug.
    From the drawer beside the sink Joe Chip got a stainless steel knife; with it he began systematically to unscrew the bolt assembly of his apt’s money-gulping door.
    “I’ll sue you,” the door said as the first screw fell out.
    Joe Chip said, “I’ve never been sued by a door. But I guess I can live through it.

    Philip K. Dick, Ubik

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  • Lupus108@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    You want people shitting in the streets? Because that’s how you get people shitting in the streets.

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    • CADmonkey@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Mailing turds to ToiletTech’s CEO

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    • defrostedLasagna4921@piefed.zip ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      The woods as well. You know, where it’s meant to go.

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      • teslekova@sh.itjust.works ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        We’re not all bears. We’ll, I am, but my hips don’t let me squat so good anymore.

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  • vivalapivo@lemmy.today ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Wait till these children learn that their toilet is subscription model indeed

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    • IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Utility bills are already a thing

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  • stickyprimer@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Have you ever seen the play Urinetown?

    This is the plot. Literally.

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  • wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Sink is right there, what’s the problem?

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    • Anonymous_Leaker@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Monster diarrhea.

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      • SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        Even better, goes down with way less stirring.

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    • Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Sink subscription.

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    • yermaw@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      You sprung for the platinum deluxe tier?

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  • cyberpunk007@lemmy.ca ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Thanks for giving them an idea

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    • Anonymous_Leaker@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      oopsie poopsie…

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    • IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Utility bills are already a thing

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      • cyberpunk007@lemmy.ca ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        I wouldn’t consider a toiled a utility service that is delivered to your home, and sewage utility bills are not a thing anywhere I’m aware of.

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  • Kaligalis@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    The subscriptions which are actually still hard to avoid are: for a lot of people rent, for Muricans healthcare, power, water, trash, Internet. Parents get a few more and personal liability insurance is also a good idea (but also relatively cheap for most people). The other subscriptions are luxury and easy to just not have.

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    • YawningNostalgia@thelemmy.club ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Even your house is a subscription in the US. My mom has to pay over $10,000 yearly in property taxes of her house that’s been paid off for over a decade. If she dies (she’s healthy so not soon, but as a hypothetical) I inherit a house I can’t afford the maintenance and taxes on. What are the luxuries? Netflix? That’s passé. We can all cancel Prime, that’s not the point.
      Any new tech is a subscription unless you do all you can to research it and make sure it only connects to your network.

      There is very little that people want and is easy to not have, unless you want to live a very bare-bones life. Cue Karl Marx quote about going to the pub.

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      • teslekova@sh.itjust.works ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        That’s an interesting situation, isn’t it? You own a house, but because you need to generate income to keep it, you have to either become a landlord and live somewhere else - perhaps using part of your income to pay the mortgage on another house - or sell it and draw down your new wealth by paying rent.

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  • altphoto@lemmy.today ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    I recommend bi-metal hole saws all day long!

    Image

    Why would you bother with a jigsaw or a router when you can get the confort of a well rounded hole!

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  • danc4498@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Can’t believe we’ve been shitting for free all this time.

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    • jaybone@lemmy.zip ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Check out moneybags over here with his free shit.

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    • IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Utility bills are already a thing

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  • Slovene85@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    It’s ok, just download the app and watch 15 ads for one flush.

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  • SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    I shit in Pirate Bay. Check and mate.

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  • justme@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    just poop your pants and you might become the new leader

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  • this@sh.itjust.works ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Time to get shwifty.

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  • Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Ima a poop in the sink.

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    • Anonymous_Leaker@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      No other choice.

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      • forbiddencherry@lemmy.today ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        🛁🧇🦶

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    • Sir_Premiumhengst@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Assuming you’re subscribed

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  • CyberTheProtogen@lemmy.zip ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Yeah no shit breaking things and hacking things might become some of the most useful skills in the future

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  • DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    The lit won’t lock. It just won’t flush.

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    • LordOfLocksley@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      You can flush a toilet without a working mechanism. Just get a big bucket of water and dump it down the toilet, and that does the same as flushing.

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      • ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        The algorithm knows this and calculates exactly how much you’re willing to pay for the convenience of a button. As soon as you get a date, they know and you get a notification: “you wouldn’t want to explain the bucket to her*, would you?”

        * insert appropriate pronoun here

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  • cecinestpasunecommunication@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Or San Francisco a decade ago.

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  • uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    San Francisco since the 21st century has had four or five public restrooms that are automated and self cleaning, and free! Why? Because even then poop from the homeless and impoverished was a problem.

    Not allowing people to use your business restroom is just a good way to end up with occasionally cleaning up poop on your grounds, and your back alleys perpetually smelling like urine. In the meantime, if you do let people use your restroom for free, they’re more inclined to return to your establishment to patronize it.

    Small businesses in the US like restaurants and cafes will lock their bathrooms anyway more out of habitual miserliness: Laws in the US immensely favor large chains and franchises, so small business owners and managers get used to doing everything they can to raise revenues and lower costs (including stealing tips and underpaying staff) so the petit bourgeoisie for a while seemed crueler than big corporations. (As workplace regulation violations are not being investigated, big businesses are catching up, as per Amazon and Facebook). In 2026, small resellers rarely open their restrooms up to the public, and some restaurants and cafes don’t feature restrooms at all.

    And so major cities all have poop problems, either managed by municipal cleaners or by ordinance requiring property owners keep their grounds clean.

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  • kreskin@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Just shit in the shower. We all do it, right.

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    • FreddiesLantern@leminal.space ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Wafflestompers unite!

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  • nosuchanon@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Image

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  • Prior_Industry@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Tesla Hyperpoop

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    • Hawk@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      HyperPoop you say?

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  • mrfriki@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    2048 you say? That’s being optimistic!

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  • garbage_world@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Toilets have been a subscribtion since always

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  • Kaput@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Juste saw a propane bbq requesting for an update in thé store…

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  • RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    The bathroom said, “Fifty cents, please. Before turning on the water.”

    Ubik, P K Dick

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  • daggermoon@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Wouldn’t stop me.

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