I do love posts like this. Like, yes, point how just how flippin ridiculous the argument sounds when you flip it around…as if it didn’t sound ridiculous enough as-is. Love it 😆
I only date virgins
Submitted 2 weeks ago by CultLeader4Hire@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/03e6196c-9acc-401e-bb80-d93f8a3989e8.jpeg
Comments
Dzheyk@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Warl0k3@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
OHHH… Fucking hell, this was so close to what I’ve seen that I assumed this was completely sincere. Masterful satire.
starik@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
Yes, it’s a satire of the incel “roastie” BS.
NannerBanner@literature.cafe 2 weeks ago
I’m pretty sure that most guys would be happy to have this particular bit of wisdom be believed. >.>
Dzheyk@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Most guys need to get used to disappointment lol
Soulg@ani.social 2 weeks ago
Yeah this is what children believe when they have no experience with vaginas, it almost makes sense when you know that little about them lol
speckofrust@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
Seems to me like a critique in reverse about sex in regards to women’s anatomy. I like it.
bampop@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Call me old fashioned but I like a woman who doesn’t cut off the penises of her partners and turn them into sausages
FistingEnthusiast@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Coward
KeenFlame@feddit.nu 2 weeks ago
Because it’s reality that women prefer large penis, of
NannerBanner@literature.cafe 2 weeks ago
Eh. I think, like the statement about men preferring certain things, that it’s a stated preference more than an actual one. I have a friend with a slightly larger penis, about 7", and his wife has told me it’s too big. And that’s just seven inches. Apparently certain positions are too much and slightly painful.
The size queens you see in porn are the standouts, just like the men that all have 8"+ penises.
TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
Who is this dude?
Rusty@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
Iwan Rheon playing Ramsey Bolton in the show Game of Thrones.
BigBrownDog@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Yeah, that’s why I have a micro penis. All the sex I’ve had.
Prolly
SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
The virgin penis is still full of cum that has built up in it over the years. That’s why it’s so big. Do you really want to have to face 5 year old cum
Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
The old “saving up for marriage”
SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 weeks ago
I imagine it probably turns to curd or cheese, and then polymerizes and you can shoot bullets like the worst revision batman.
SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
it probably turns to curd or cheese
Ah, that’s what that is. I think mine is leaking
LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Is dick polymer biodegradable? If so, maybe we can tackle the whole microplastic issue as well!
Mongostein@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
No no, that’s the microplastics that make you shoot airsoft pellets
RogueBanana@piefed.zip 2 weeks ago
What’s the expiration period on that?
NannerBanner@literature.cafe 2 weeks ago
Most seem to go around 70-80.
imadethis@fedinsfw.app 2 weeks ago
Clearly that’s why you need someone into oral. They’ll suck all the blood back into your penis to reinflate it. In fact, I’m going to start using that pickup line on all the guys. I bet my numbers start jumping!
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
KuroiKaze@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
There is no greater blessing under heaven than receiving enthusiastic oral
imadethis@fedinsfw.app 2 weeks ago
Do you want to be blessed?
Gonzako@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Hey! Your username is “Imadethis” what do you make?
imadethis@fedinsfw.app 2 weeks ago
A lemmy account. Now it’s a piefed account.
OriginEnergySux@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I hate it. No chick wants to date me due to my small and thin penis that has been worn down to a tiny stump from all the sexual partners ive had. They tell me its like throwing a sausage down a hallway 😭
SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Guess I fucked thousands and thousands of women in my sleep.
RogueBanana@piefed.zip 2 weeks ago
Damn my right hand must be too strong
EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com 2 weeks ago
A key that that is too worn down to open a lock is a shitty key.
Bluewing@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I’ve been married for many, many years, (the same woman too). And I can testify that there is a certain truth here.
BigBananaDealer@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
its gonna turn into a competition of who has the most shriveled penis
FosterMolasses@leminal.space 2 weeks ago
Username checks out
SethTaylor@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I am so sick and tired of saying this: it returns back to its normal size after intercourse!
JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
Not if her partner is black. I’ve heard there’s no going back once it’s had that.
calcopiritus@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
The one on the right looks bigger though, it’s just zoomed out.
saltesc@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I should put some coal up there.
thisbenzingring@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
up where?!
that’s where I PEE!
sundray@lemmus.org 2 weeks ago
Not right now, you don’t!
mattyroses@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
Fuck the p away . . . fuck the p away
JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
PEACHES!! 🍑
Ugh@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
She’s still at it, kicking ass, and releasing new music, too. She still rocks. I loves me the teaches of Peaches! 🍑
belunos@lemmus.org 2 weeks ago
Jokes on you, my cock was small before I even had sex
BumbleBTuna@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
The ladies call me needle dick. Because I thrust like a sewing machine.
elbiter@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Yeah, porn actors are living proof of that theory…
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.cafe 2 weeks ago
Level up your oral skills.
fartographer@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Those penises look like they’ll be delicious after I hit them with me searzall
webp@mander.xyz 2 weeks ago
Gay sex, the virgin’s loophole
jobbies@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
I’m as girthy like an eggplant CHECKMATE!!
Pirtatogna@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Haven’t noticed shrinkage but the wear and tear definitely is there.
daggermoon@piefed.world 2 weeks ago
I’m a virgin with a small dick. Sometimes it’s big but not very often. Maybe it’s stress or anxiety idk.
sundray@lemmus.org 2 weeks ago
That first penis looks extremely tight.
mfed1122@discuss.tchncs.de 2 weeks ago
Problem with this is the kind of guy this is intended to diss would totally endorse logic that says virgins have bigger dicks
visnudeva@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
Is this a Christian chastity trick ?
chatokun@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
It’s an uno reverse on a common incel/misogynistic myth about Vaginas.
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
Sounds legit man.
Now let’s change topics, hornyposting is overused.
theloneyank@slrpnk.net 2 weeks ago
that explains a lot …
ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
This is basically what conversations and debates around sex sounded like before the internet … especially if you were a kid or a teenager. No one had a clue and every once in a while, some idiot with a bit of information would come forward and confidently make statements like this and we couldn’t agreed or disagree with them because no one could verify the information.
I remember one conversation when I was about eight and some older kid telling us that the number of thrusts you made when you had sex was the number of children you would have. And for the longest time I believed that.
Another one I heard as a teenager had to do with Asians … specifically Chinese women … people said that they had a vaginal canal that was like a corkscrew and it was really hard to get in there.
The dumb shit we heard and believed or semi-believed when we were growing up … which is why people like Sue Johanson on late night TV in Canada was a breath of fresh air … she had a talk show on late night TV with sex education and she talked about all the factual, scientific, medical stuff about sex and we learned lots from her. Seriously, look her up and find her videos.
youtu.be/hrtuATYF-k8
TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I think thats a uh… duck.
youcantreadthis@quokk.au 2 weeks ago
Yes. Asian women are a witches, because they float like a duck and have corkscrew vagina
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
A Peking duck?
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
No, its the other way. The duck penis is shaped like a corkscrew. But it also has a barb at the end, so when it pulls out, it rips open the female ducks genitals.
The best word to describe duck sex is…horrific. Truely the stuff of nightmares. If you’re ever in a meadow, and a giant duck penis starts chasing you? You need a gun. That would put me in therapy.
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
…soooooooo, you thought the default number of thrusts that 99% of men could accomplish was…one thrust?
And twins was when the guy made two whole thrusts?
Ok, lets forget sex, forget the internet, forget all of that. I think this is just reason we need to teach all kids critical thinking skills.
My parents got mad at me, because I asked my mom if inflation affected the tooth fairy. When she asked what I was talking about, I told her my two sisters only got 50 cents when they were kids. They’re 10 and 12 years older than me.
I was getting 1 dollar. And when I was trying to figure out why they got 50 cents, but I got a dollar, I remembered my dad always bitching about inflation. It made logical sense.
If you’re willing to accept the concept of selling your teeth to an unknown fairy, but notice a discrepency in pay, but also notice a 10 year gap, with your dad saying that inflation will kill your money over 10 years…then it’s logical to assume the tooth fairy corporation was affected by inflation,and had to start paying more for teeth, or else the kids wouldn’t sell them.
Then my sister told me it was actually the gender wage gap. And so I had to go ask my dad, at age 5, if I’m more valueable than my sisters, just because I have a penis. His response was “Yeah. Obviously.”
Mom was not happy with that reaction. You’ll not be surprised to know my mom eventually left my dad. I’m not saying it was over this incident, but this incident kind of helps paint a picture to help you understand why my mom didn’t want to be with my dad anymore.
So then I got put in catholic school, and without knowing what sex was, began to ask the church if Mary had baby Jesus, through God, so God is the father, why wasn’t Peter pissed that his wife was having a baby with another man? My friends parents split up, because she had a baby from another man. Logically I thought Peter should have been pissed, but he wasn’t. So I asked why.
I got told to go to the principals office for being disrespectful.
SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I like you
TheRealKuni@piefed.social 2 weeks ago
Joseph, not Peter.
ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
You’re debating my eight year old self here … who lived in a remote village … in the north … where we had two TV channels … one radio station … no newspapers … terrible grade school … and parents who were born in the wilderness and abused by religious nuts in a residential school … parents who never, ever absolutely ever wanted to have any acknowledgement that the world even included the idea of sex between adults
I didn’t fully understand the concept of sex until I was about 16 … and even then, it was a pretty dumb introduction and education that it took my another decade before I could appreciate it properly
CorrenteAlternata@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 weeks ago
I was just like you when I was a kid. Especially the things about religion.
There was a nun in my school to teach Catholicism (let’s not talk about why I attended because that’s another story). Everyone hated the nun because she was mean and unlikeable.
I used to go to her with a bible, with some passages underlined. I then asked some loaded questions. She would answer in a very predictable way. Then I’d say “but in this other passage it says … which is a contradiction! You don’t know very much do you?” and she always would get angry but also defeated and I loved it.
NannerBanner@literature.cafe 2 weeks ago
Story of my life. I don’t know how my mother kept me in a religious school for so long. I think it was about the time someone in my family suddenly had a debilitating illness as I entered the ‘can think about more than lunch’ stage that triggered my questions. The fact that someone can claim there is a ‘good’ god that somehow coexists with children’s hospitals is just so mind-blowing.
Dasus@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
They evidently went kinda easy on the religious teachings?
I’m not a religious man and despite monotheism as a phenomenon and think it’s bad for mankind, but even I know Mary was married to Joseph. Peter was one of Jesus’s apostles and the first pope.
EtAl@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
Sue Johanson died three years ago!? Damn. How did I miss that? She’s the one who turned me onto The Multi Orgasmic Man. Sue was one of the greatest sex educators to ever live. Listening to her show was the first time I had ever heard sex spoken about as it should be, in plain language with zero judgement. RIP Sue.
LightYagami@lemmus.org 2 weeks ago
Lol
imadethis@fedinsfw.app 2 weeks ago
I always remember the ‘asian vagina’ rumor to be that it was sideways. Even as a kid I knew that one was stupid. How the fuck was it going to fit in the same position if it was sideways?