Not wanting to be a stay-at-home dad feels like such a boomer mentality. Like, seriously, what father is so disengaged from their kids that they wouldn’t want to spend more time with them, given the option? Being a stay-at-home parent is a lot of work, no one’s contesting that, but there’s no contesting that it’s more satisfying work than working for some megacorp’s bottom line.
Just say the word
Submitted 6 hours ago by ickplant@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/03c22f5c-e81f-4efc-a130-4f486d9120d6.jpeg
Comments
KoboldCoterie@pawb.social 6 hours ago
ickplant@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
what father is so disengaged from their kids that they wouldn’t want to spend more time with them, given the option?
Boomers, you said it yourself. Being a stay at home dad was unheard of and seen as emasculating. So silly.
KoboldCoterie@pawb.social 6 hours ago
Yeah, it has the same energy as the endless jokes about men hating their wives.
owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca 5 hours ago
To be fair, some people aren’t great at being a homemaker–it’s a particular passion and skill set and it’s not for everyone. But blindly drawing that distinction on gender lines is definitely a boomer thing.
Had an older guy at work who had four kids, and when it came up in conversation, he proudly noted that he had never changed a diaper. Told him that I’d be mortified to admit I was such a useless dad.
surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
I wasn’t great at it, until I learned how to do it. It’s not hard. YouTube helps.
doctordevice@lemmy.ca 3 hours ago
I’m sitting here cuddling with my infant son and I never want to go back to work. I’ll have to (so will my wife), and I hate that for both of us. But I definitely don’t want to.
Botzo@lemmy.world 2 hours ago
I can empathize. I went back to work a month ago now. It was/is hard to be unavailable.
Luckily, I work from home in a fairly independent role and my wife is still on leave, so we’re still largely co-parenting. We could afford to have me stay at home, but we’re saying that the extra I make above the truly wild cost of daycare will go to his education, financial security, and cultural enrichment.
We’re also telling ourselves that daycare will be a positive/important social experience for him because we have a small friend group locally and family is halfway across the US.
Eq0@literature.cafe 3 hours ago
Counterpoint: I took some months off work when my first one was born. And I hated it. I felt that all my value was as “baby-sustaining-machine”, the highest mental skill requested any given day was loading a laundry load and it was very socially isolating (not many people available during working hours for socializing). At the same time, it was stressful being constantly the only one in charge. I was relieved to drop them at daycare and get back to work.
Now that they are of early school age, I enjoy spending time with them, but I also find it taxing. I know I wouldn’t be a good parent if I were to do it 24/7. But I am glad to spend every non-school moments together.
KoboldCoterie@pawb.social 3 hours ago
I am firmly of the opinion that babies suck, but kids - once they reach the age that they can engage with you at some minimal level - are great, and the older they get, the more fun they are.
trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world 5 hours ago
Tbh, I don’t want to be any kind of dad.
SanctimoniousApe@lemmings.world 5 hours ago
Daddy! At long last, I’ve finally found you!!
yakko@feddit.uk 5 hours ago
That’s a core experience of being a dad. Kids are a pain in the fucking arse sometimes.
Dozzi92@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
Yeah, I turn down invitations to go out after my nighttime board meetings if it means I get home in time to put my kids to bed. I take them to school in the morning and pick them up just about every day. Sometimes they get on every single one of my nerves, but I love being home with them, playing with them, making dinners that they complain about and it makes my blood boil. It’s all part of the package. The whole idea of the silent workaholic dad is just crazy to me. I want to be the one who takes them to the park.
socsa@piefed.social 3 hours ago
I mean I hate kids but I like money. $12M is honestly about $11.7M past that inflection point though.
SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 5 hours ago
I literally dream of this.
PlaidBaron@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
I have a hard time with this. I’m a teacher, love my job, and genuinely think its important. But I hate that I have to spend so much time away from my kids and even when Im home I end up spending hours planning, grading, etc.
Just kinda sucks.
AbsolutelyClawless@piefed.social 1 hour ago
How do people feel about stay at home spouses without kids? Is that something that is generally frowned upon?
AlecSadler@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 minutes ago
People feel weird about it, but it’s perfectly fine.
My wife doesn’t work a paying job, we don’t have kids, but in almost every conversation when I’m meeting someone when they ask what my wife does and I tell them, they always follow it up with like, “Oh does she work from home?” or “Oh, does she sell stuff online?”
It often breaks their brain that she doesn’t work a paid job.
Phil_in_here@lemmy.ca 1 hour ago
Great job if you can get it!
CompactFlax@discuss.tchncs.de 4 hours ago
$12 million a year? In two years time we’re retired and the kids are set for life.
Nioxic@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 hours ago
I would
Then hire a cleaner
A chef
A gardener
A housemaid
And just chill with my kids
ickplant@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
Word. Spending time with them is the real prize.
Jumbie@lemmy.zip 5 hours ago
Just hire a nanny too and go get milk from the store.
Damned amateur.
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 5 hours ago
why would I get milk from the store when the nanny can just milk me instead?
socsa@piefed.social 3 hours ago
I would do this and develop a drinking problem.
Like, a bigger drinking problem.
JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 hours ago
Dude I’d be a stay at home dad if my wife was making 70k a year
PixelatedSaturn@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
Yeah! I’m even encouraging my wife to put herself out there more and ask for promotions.
theuniqueone@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 hours ago
No because of gender roles i will demand she quits this high paying job and stay at home and we both live off my minimum wage. /s
josephc@lemmy.ml 3 hours ago
Do I have to wear the lace all the time? I don’t look good in lace.
And honestly probably not; not because I have any objections to her being the breadwinner or have any weird ideas about who raises kids, but mostly because I’m not sure I could do it. I’d be a pretty shit father.
belastend@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 hour ago
Bro, I’d do that if my partner made one twentieth of this kinda money.
Ryanmiller70@lemmy.zip 1 hour ago
No because I don’t want to be a dad
PartyAt15thAndSummit@lemmy.zip 3 hours ago
Sussudio?
OldChicoAle@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
If I was a working parent with a stay-at-home spouse, I would felt guilty AF for not having more time for family. It would hurt to leave every single day and having to work overtime would make it all worse. I would feel that I’m abandoning my spouse to raise our human spawn alone. I would get to go to work and escape the problems of raising kids and taking care of the home. I get to hang with other adults, maintain friendships, etc.
Dozzi92@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
I’ve taken less work than I could, making less money (still fortunate to make what I make), because I get to see my kids more. Kids are also a huge pain in the ass sometimes, and so I won’t leave my wife with more of a burden than I have myself. We’re a team, and we’re a family. When they get older and more independent, maybe I’ll put the hammer down and make more money, but right now I have the perfect balance and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Unfortunately, probably gonna have to go bash Nazis eventually.
SanctimoniousApe@lemmings.world 5 hours ago
Depends. What’s she doing to make that kind of money? A divorce might be more likely. And no - this isn’t (just) about sex.
Dozzi92@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
She won the lottery and took the annuity.
jaybone@lemmy.zip 2 hours ago
The lighting in these pics is odd, like this was taken in the middle of the night, while that guy was sleep walking. Also that doesn’t look like a place you live when you make $12m a year.
Texas_Hangover@lemmy.radio 3 hours ago
I got to be a stay at home dad for a couple years. It was a wonderful experience and I miss it.
UnfortunateShort@lemmy.world 3 hours ago
I would stay at home for an okay income and kids, although, as an IT guy, I could probably still work from home part time
RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
Hell yes.
S_H_K@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 hours ago
You can totally tell from the pic he never user a vac cleaner and or cooked in his frighing life…
mp3@lemmy.ca 4 hours ago
damn right I would. Spending more time with my kids, cooking whatever I want and not having to do chores with the little amount of spare time I have after I’m done working would be great.
sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 12 minutes ago
That is not a 12-million dollar earners’ kitchen