Submitted 2 weeks ago by TheBat@lemmy.world to greentext@sh.itjust.works
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/07c3922c-eef1-4b9a-9153-98b748b73f8c.jpeg
be me, formerly professional-level troll on WoW forums
my golden days are long gone, sadly
lightbulb.wav
what if I used all my experience and mastery to earn a living?
gonna open a therapist office
MFW I’m the worst therapist in the world and morons come and pay me to ask them why they are still virgins at 28
they always go home sobbing
[Insert some pepe]
Therapists with specialties seem to dislike it when their client doesn’t fall under that umbrella. I had a therapist whose specialty was child sexual abuse. I told her I didn’t experience any and she defensively snapped “Are you sure? Maybe you don’t remember it!”. I did not stick with her for long.
when all you have is a hammer everything looks like a nail and stuff
are you sure it’s that you just weren’t a hot enough kid?
how does it feel to know your parents/relatives didn’t find you sexually attractive enough to abuse you?
To be fair, black-hole-ing a traumatic memory absolutely happens to people. That said, that reaction is absolutely not how to go about resurfacing that kind of thing. If anything it needs to be handled with way more care than self-reported trauma.
Are you sure? Cause mostly I hear the idea of repressed memories being bullshit.
See the Satanic Panic where a bunch of people suddenly “remembered” being forced to do Satanic Rituals at daycare
Nope. This was mostly a psychological fad in the 1980s that led to many ruined lives from false accusations. Even the Wikipedia page starts off by saying the phenomenon has been largely discredited. Many people still believe in it but the vast majority of cases of “repressed memory” cannot be independently proven outside of the patient and therapist and in many cases are actually contradicted by externally verifiable facts.
I swear some therapists exist just to teach you to stick up for yourself by being lousy at their jobs.
What do you even supposed to say to that.
I’m pretty sure it never happened but I guess I could have have forgotten, I guess, if you want.
I think I can see what went wrong here. The therapist is probably trying to disrupt their internal narrative but hasn’t established the baseline trust. Confrontation can be important in therapy. Sometimes, people can get the idea that their agency doesn’t matter, that they are just the sort of person who doesn’t get to (lose weight/have sex/get that job/etc.) and part of a therapist’s job can be to get the patient to break down that belief by questioning it, but if they haven’t established the necessary trust with the patient, it just comes across like a trollish comment on the internet, a random attack from a stranger who might not only not be doing it for your best interest but even to be hurtful for their own amusement.
it just comes across like a trollish comment on the internet, a random attack from a stranger who might not only not be doing it for your best interest but even to be hurtful for their own amusement.
And Only time and repetition will be able to tell if it’s in good faith or bad faith.
i wish a lady would interrupt my narrative with her baseline trust.
*thrust
This is the only sensible response I can see in the whole comments section. Lot of replies from people who think a therapist’s job is to cheer you up with a wholesome pep talk and send you on your way.
Sometimes a pep talk is what you need. Sometimes it’s a harsh reality check. The quality of a therapist is partly determined by their ability to know when one or the other is needed.
The problem is that it’s bad fiction.
it’s green text; it’s more made up than an r/aita and r/tifu post combined.
Greentext means it was written by an ignorant person, not necessarily that it is false.
Yeah the “you didn’t really try” can be super dismissive from a stranger. Or it can be a positive message like “you are stronger than you think” coming from a friend. But I don’t think even coming a friend you’d get that, when you are down the hole.
Yeah, and I think the better way of phrasing such a thing is “you’re defeating yourself before putting in a good external effort.”
I remember being young, a virgin, and struggling to get laid. And yeah I really thought I was trying, but it was more like I was trying to try. I wasn’t chatting people up, I wasn’t going out, I wasn’t socializing much at all, and when someone literally fell into my lap hitting on me I pushed her away. I was dealing with my own mental issues and while I wanted to get into a relationship or even just laid, those issues stood firmly between me and actually trying. Hell, it had turned out I had been hot the whole time.
When you actually try, what goes wrong ?
Context and tone is so important in therapy. I had trouble with a new counselor because she was far more challenging than my last one, who was more about building my confidence. She kept pushing, lightly, until I defended myself — saying that suffering isn’t a competition and how I feel is valid — when I realized she was trying to get me to own my emotions when I was almost disassociating. She’s better than I realized.
Nothing makes someone feel safe and heard like a therapist completely unable to comprehend that something considered socially embarrassing is possible. If you have a friend like this, heathygamergg on YouTube is making some amazing dating videos and thinks helping someone date is something simple every therapist should be able to do. Maybe not quickly but as he put it, a 5 year goal so you aren’t as desperate
You also have to take into account that is a very high possibility that what this guy is doing is being creepy and a “nice guy”, and whether intentionally or not is pushing anybody who might be potentially interested in him away.
I’ve seen it with one of my idiot friends. He’s perfectly nice normal person and you can have sensible conversations with them but whenever it comes to hitting on girls he goes all pick up artist on them. Of course if there’s one group of people who can’t hit on girls it’s people who watch pickup videos on YouTube.
Literal definition of “incel”.
Such a shame it got commandeered, even if it was inevitable from the start
Well, the term got created by people who were using it to describe themselves as if it were a disability and they needed some kind of special treatment to solve their “problem”. Naturally this also had an overlap with the then-trending “Pick-Up Artist” community right from the start. Or incel forums which were an insane crab bucket of woman-hating basement dwellers. I don’t even mean like just rude to women, I mean hate and fear.
Needless to say being associated with this group in any way was embarrassing and it quickly became the butt of jokes. It quickly became an insult, though I don’t think it’s exactly fair to apply to people who just are virgins rather than self - described incels who are a member of that community.
That’s totally how therapy works.
Every profession has people in it who’re bad at their jobs.
I would have assumed they were religious before asexual. I’ve known many people who were virgins until they married in their late 20s or early 30s.
I fucked so many good christian girls (and boys) up the ass in high school.
They all got married as virgins too.
I’m so sorry to bring that reddit bs over, but you do have a fitting username
Therapist are like toothpaste. You keep trying another one until you find one that you like.
I like my toothpaste like I like my therapists, twice a day and in my mouth.
It took me half a decade to find my first therapist (that would be covered by insurance and accepts new patients (the German health system is fucked)). But I do believe I got quite lucky.
You should see the finnish system… there is no therapist on sight to point of being illegal by basic constitutional rights, and still nobody bats an eye nor do you get any treatment that helps.
therapist is offering to suck his dick and he’s just not getting it
That’s the gay part. Fake: man goes to therapy. Gottem.
So green text got a shitty therapist and needs to get a new one. Pretty normal, really.
had a therapist try to get me to realize Jesus is the answer to all of life’s problems. At the time I had been going to a christian church all my life. like yeah, OK Debbie, I like Jesus too, but praying it’s making me have less OCD behaviors I want need to start coping with or breaking so it stops ruining my life.
Funny, religion exacerbated my lifelong depression and associated mental health issues so badly that I almost self destructed (in several ways) in high school.
Between the lines, I think OP’s therapist might think they’re cute.
That is definitely one of the worst ways to hit on someone. “How are you still single” is not the compliment you might think it is.
Oh for sure. Not saying the therapist was being smart. Just maybe perhaps not intentionally a prick.
Fake: Anon’s therapist thinks they’re cute
Gay: The therapist is a guy
I’m also thinking that
So OP, tell me how are you try? Did you go outside and meet people? Or maybe do you speak and try to arrange in person meetings with people you know online? Nothing? What you say “trying” what exactly that mean?
I mean, as someone who used to be in a similar sort of position:
I’m far past that stage in my life now. But the problem most of these guys have isn’t that they are unwilling to put in effort, so much as it is that they have it in their heads that all the forms of effort that would actually be effective are, in one way or another, morally wrong.
Most of that makes sense but
- Consider getting better pictures for online dating account -> this would be misleading and catfishing. Your pictures should be an authentic representation of who you are.
That’s silly. It’s completely normal to try and show your best self on dating sites. Unflattering pictures usually either come off as laziness, or like you’re just so ugly that those ARE flattering pictures. So long as you aren’t using edited pictures, or pictures of someone else that’s not catfishing.
I also noticed that a number of these guys would also only persue women who were on the high end of physical attractiveness (or with very particular features) but had nothing in common with them. By strictly limiting acceptable potential partners by upholding strict physical standards, by prioritizing “hot girls” over “nice girls” or even “interested girls” they missed a lot of human connections. Including fun sex.
she
There’s the problem, right there. Women marinate in so much attention they just cannot understand how men can want relationships and sex, yet not be able to get it. Their brains melt down when you demonstrate how fundamentally different the male experience is.
Men: if you want true understanding, you have a much better chance of achieving that with a male therapist.
While your underlying point isn’t a bad one, you’ve done a remarkably poor job of expressing it.
And I am astounded at the levels of cultivated ignorance needed to not have the point leap out and bodily slap people across the face.
The problem here might be taking greentext screenshots as facts.
Those aren’t the facts I go after. You should examine the stats that come out of things like dating apps and papers published by actual sociologists examining intergender relationships. It’s absolutely wild how it runs completely counter to what most women say.
OP needs a new therapist using a different therapy style. Keep trying folks. (I have my favorites, but so does everyone.)
Fake- anon talks to another person Gay- anon goes to therapy
Yeah even I’m a beautiful girl and I was just laying here an hour ago thinking how much I want to have sex right now but the problem is when there’s nobody around to have sex with. That’s the problem.
so you’re asexual?
I want to have sex, I just haven’t
So, quick note, you can be asexual as in have no attraction to anyone and still be into sex. “I just haven’t found the right person yet!” can be it and you don’t understand the difference for decades.
Fake: Anon would read David Smail’s How To Survive Without Psychotherapy before going to therapy
Straight: She then “suggest” hypnosis for his not getting laid, then over many sessions with post-hypnotic suggestions, turns him into a mindless obidient drone towards every women he meets, even when inconvenient.
skill issue huh, shame
Fake and straight, obviously.
The therapist smelled red pill ideology and chose to turn away the client rather than suffer someone who consistently undoes their work by going back to the manosphere.
I’m with the therapist. You couldn’t possibly have wanted sex for that long and not gotten laid. It’s just sex.
lol I mean it’s kinda easy just go to someone in a bar, crack a few jokes get their number and you’re good to go after a while it’s not rocket science boys
rockerface@lemmy.cafe 2 weeks ago
This is obviously fake and gay™, but PSA: if something similar happens to you IRL, it’s not therapy being useless, it’s therapist being an asshole and genuinely harmful to their patients.
Rooskie91@discuss.online 2 weeks ago
Yeah OP should say “1 therapist is useless”.
zaphod@sopuli.xyz 2 weeks ago
The problem is you don’t know if your therapist might be an asshole before speaking to them.
k0e3@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
You just look for a new one then right? I dunno how it works in other places around the world but we don’t have to sign up for an annual contract or anything here in Japan.
snowdriftissue@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Yeah this sounds pretty believable to me there’s a lot of shitty therapists
Wander@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Not sure if it’s the case here but I seen a thread at some point where tonnes of men were staying they had a bad time with a female therapist and had a much better time after changing to a man.
Maybe this is just one of those examples.
Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
I wonder if a lot of women just don’t understand men all that well?
rockerface@lemmy.cafe 2 weeks ago
From my experience, being an asshole does not correlate to gender
chunes@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
It’s fair to expect every therapist to be better than this.