…she even…she even opened
dating
Submitted 17 hours ago by SSUPII@sopuli.xyz to [deleted]
https://sopuli.xyz/pictrs/image/ec5cb7bd-8362-42af-9f12-baa5e7161cb0.webp
Comments
Xenny@lemmy.world 1 hour ago
Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de 59 minutes ago
It is bumble. She has to start.
Manticore@lemmy.nz 5 hours ago
Tbf she made zero effort to converse with OOP either
diffaldo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 hours ago
tyyy
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 4 hours ago
Perfect match!
robocall@lemmy.world 5 hours ago
That guy is a keeper! Lock him down and he’ll be loyal for life! He doesn’t even know how to talk to other women!!
DylanMc6@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 hours ago
To whoever said that (or anyone who DON’T talk to people when trying to date): have you tried improv? Improv comedy would help you talk to people better, and would probably give you the confidence and courage
echodot@feddit.uk 2 hours ago
So if a person struggles with confidence your solution is for them to stand upon stage? There seems to be an important first step that seems to have been skipped.
petrol_sniff_king@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 hours ago
Improv doesn’t have to be on a stage.
To practice improv is just to practice social skills. And, I don’t know how else to say this, a lack of social skill is the fundamental root problem here. Anyone who lacks confidence in this way is going to have to learn them one way or another.
A real first step might be learning to be brave and charging through one’s anxiety to get to the improv center, but they have to go. Whether it’s improv or something else, they have to go.
Jerkface@lemmy.world 2 hours ago
You find a class or a club, not an open mic.
DylanMc6@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 hour ago
I suggest reading the link about improv
mushroomman_toad@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 hours ago
The apps are literally designed to keep you single
LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works 15 hours ago
While yes, that is the case, I cannot help but feel it’s not the app’s fault this time
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
The Algorithm used to match people isn’t designed to encourage healthy and normal conversations. It’s designed to encourage people to spend more time on the apps (and, eventually, more money).
peopleproblems@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
I used to think this. Then I went on some dates, I made connections, etc.
But only once I started paying. The apps are built to maximize profit.
Hinge > Boo > Tinder > Bumble.
Electricd@lemmybefree.net 2 hours ago
Most apps are owned by like 2 companies really
unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de 16 hours ago
Even funnier with the timestamps
mushroomman_toad@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 hours ago
9/11 of a conversation
GreenBeanMachine@lemmy.world 15 hours ago
She clearly doesn’t know how to talk to men either.
monkeyslikebananas2@lemmy.world 15 hours ago
YoU hAvE tO rEaD bEtWeEn tHe LiNeS Or sOmE sHiT - her probably
Sternout@feddit.org 15 hours ago
It’s literally a first contact. These apps are exhausting and texting requires effort from both parties.
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
Had a couple of friends who went on vacation to Europe - Spain and France, specifically - and had totally different experiences on the dating apps. Men were open and friendly, knew how to hold up a conversation (in non-native languages!), showed politeness, responded quickly, made first contact easy and low-anxiety, looked good, smelled nice, knew how to dance, charmed the panties right off them both, and then kept in contact afterwards. Like, even after they flew back home, these guys were still saying “Hey, what’s up, here’s something cool happening in my neighborhood can’t wait to see you again”.
Just a radically different experience than the American dating scene. One friend straight up swore off American men entirely. She’s booking a flight back to France for a three month go - working remote, learning the language, the whole thing - because of how blown away by the healthier and happier social conditions over there.
echodot@feddit.uk 2 hours ago
Yeah but that’s not dating that’s a hookup. Completely different ball game. Much easier to maintain a facade for a couple of days when both parties know that there is no potential for relationship.
Actual dating requires you to maintain for the long haul.
zalgotext@sh.itjust.works 5 hours ago
Imagine making a radical life change based on a dating app hookup
Teppichbrand@feddit.org 2 hours ago
Once you go France
others don’t stand a chance
surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
Tourist hunters. They know the game. They aren’t the norm.
LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works 2 hours ago
It’s a two way street. Some people need to go to some completely different place to relax enough, and some other people bet on tourists being relaxed enough.
I even remember that kind of effect from school, during school time I would always get into fights with kids that I was happily hanging around with in the holidays.
spionspion@lemmy.ml 1 hour ago
Prepare for a changed experience. europe is hating the USA and US americans more and more every day. I get the ick when i hear americans on the street. Gtfo and kill trump.
halfsalesman@piefed.social 16 hours ago
The issue isn’t talking to women. The issue is talking to people you are attracted to.
I’m bi but I’m not attracted everyone. And I can tell you it takes a lot more from me to talk to someone I’m attracted to and I don’t think I could easily just be normal friends with someone I badly want to fuck and just have normal conversations with them.
SillyDude@lemmy.zip 14 hours ago
You may entice a woman with a piece of cheese. If she accepts you may then ask her to wed you.
captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 4 hours ago
Entice? I thought it was fascinate.
UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 2 hours ago
svcg@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 hours ago
Cheddar? I hardly know her!
neukenindekeuken@sh.itjust.works 12 hours ago
What kind of cheese are women in my area attracted to?
UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 1 hour ago
Dubliner Irish cheese
CatZoomies@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
Kraft singles in your area, I imagine.
peopleproblems@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
Gouda is a safe bet.
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 12 hours ago
It’s sad things like this that make me think, it’s too bad church is all fucked up with religion. Because “Entire families, plus any single individuals, get washed and dressed up, then join under the stained-glass windows to sit and stand and sing and go through the motions, while all the eligible sweeties pretend they’re not checking out all the other eligible sweeties, and have a whole hour to think of something to say to them over the coffee and cookies afterwards. Repeat weekly” is pretty much how a lot of people found partners for generations. Especially those whose families couldn’t afford ballrooms and country clubs.
EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com 3 hours ago
I’d probably be open to the concept of a secular church. Not for dating, but just for platonic socialization and community.
echodot@feddit.uk 2 hours ago
There are of course things like hobby clubs you can join but you have to get lucky with those. There risk that you will just be distracted and end up with an expensive hobby.
Formfiller@lemmy.world 12 hours ago
Women are people so you talk to them how you would talk to another person
boonhet@sopuli.xyz 2 hours ago
Talking to women and talking to women you want to date are slightly different things tbh. The latter doesn’t necessarily come naturally for all.
And online, it gets even harder oftentimes. Creating a captivating conversation out of an empty bio, two generic photos and a name? That’s still damn difficult for me and I’ve been on tinder for like 4 years out of the last 8. Obviously it’s easier if the conversational partner throws you a bone. OOP didn’t exactly have a great opener to begin with and then was given a “tyyy”. Try riffing on that. Good luck. I can see why OOP gave up on the conversation.
Online “dating” sucks. I’m sure women have their own reasons why it sucks (safety in particular), but for men it sucks because generally speaking, you’re expected to prove yourself as an interesting conversational partner within 2-3 messages. Even on Bumble it’s the same, as seen in the screenshot. Women have to write first there, but usually it’s just “hi” or an emoji.
So I also don’t know how to talk to women. I have female friends. I’m not an incel, I’ve had a couple of long-term relationships and some, eh, situationships I guess? Even some with people I met on dating apps. Meet me in person? We’re staying awake talking until 5 AM. Actually give me something to riff about in your bio or at least reply to me with more than one word? We’re at the very least going to have a fun conversation, maybe meet in real life. But give me an empty bio and one word replies? I’m sorry, but I just don’t know how to talk to you.
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 4 hours ago
I did, end result was someone actually contacts me for a date, but I just…don’t feel anything, so I just end up talking to hear her life story, and nothing actually happens.
I will be single for life 🥲
But that’s ok! I don’t want to drag anyone into a relationship with a miserable person who does not want to live anyway (hence, relationships are last place).
Formfiller@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
I’m feeling like a lot of people relate to this these days unfortunately
Fredthefishlord@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 hours ago
Ok but like. Dating and flirting talk is different from normal talk. More giggly, more vibes. Some people can’t do that for shit
Formfiller@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
There’s a lot of women who can’t do that either. It’s not a movie and a lot of us have the same executive functioning disorders that make this confusing. I think people need to find someone who connects with them so pretending to be someone else is a bad strategy
peopleproblems@lemmy.world 12 hours ago
That’s almost impossible to do over text.
Almost.
So I talk to them how I talk to my friends with a lot more enthusiastism.
That ends up be just turning into an essay writer and I have overwhelmed at 6 in the past year.
So maybe not normal talk either.
nialv7@lemmy.world 12 hours ago
I don’t know how to talk to another person either.
UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 3 hours ago
Dont worry, here on the internet everyone is a dog using the humans internet whole they are gone to work.
Yall are dogs to, right?
Formfiller@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
That’s fair
TheRealKuni@piefed.social 16 hours ago
Women are literally just people. Talk to them like you talk to other people.
UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 1 hour ago
One dick pic coming up. Works on grindr. Dont worry, I always ask first.
FartMaster69@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 hours ago
That’s the problem
ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world 16 hours ago
But are they men? Have you seen gay dudes flirting? It ain’t the same. Sure, they’re people, what else would we all be? But they’re distinctively different from men.
TheRealKuni@piefed.social 12 hours ago
they’re distinctively different from men.
They’re really not. Every person is different from every other person, but a woman is still just a person. And most people aren’t comfortable being treated like they’re different.
Be friendly and most people will also be friendly.
0ops@piefed.zip 14 hours ago
Okay great, good stuff… Any tips for talking to other people?
TheRealKuni@piefed.social 12 hours ago
Practice. Conversation is a skill like any other, you won’t be good at it until you work at it.
TheBat@lemmy.world 5 hours ago
Yeah but I’m not looking to impress most people unlike my crushes
toxicbubble@lemmy.world 15 hours ago
bumble was designed so women could message first.
the messages: “hey”
UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 1 hour ago
bumble was designed so women could message first.
Not anymore if what I’ve read is correct.
smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 12 hours ago
PSA: “tyyy” - thanks, ya yella yutz.
Such language. Tsk.
sundray@lemmus.org 15 hours ago
Dating concerns of the modern era: “Now, how do I make it clear I’m not a murderer without looking like a murderer 🤔 .”
Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 15 hours ago
Pose with a bloody Axe in front of a Maserati or so. Does wonders 😁
Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 15 hours ago
I feel so sorry for generations having to use those stinky fucking pieces of shit predatory apps, designed to keep the majority of men single AND paying.
Also the method of “dating” there sucks so much, unless you’re just there for a quick fuck.
Not saying it was easier back then without those apps. Probably wasn’t.
realitaetsverlust@piefed.zip 16 hours ago
The next generation of young men is going to be a split of lonely, sad boys and andrew tate wannabes lmao.
UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 1 hour ago
You think the Andrew Tate men arent lonely and sad?
kora@sh.itjust.works 15 hours ago
Certified !me_irl@lemmy.world hood classic
chunes@lemmy.world 2 hours ago
The fundamental issue here is that they call this dating when it’s something else entirely. They should have made a new name for it when it became like sifting through resumes.
Karjalan@lemmy.world 2 hours ago
I don’t think anyone calls this dating? It’s the filter to figure out if you want to date
boonhet@sopuli.xyz 2 hours ago
But I agree that it’s more of a way to meet people to date, not actual dating