GreenBeanMachine

@GreenBeanMachine@lemmy.world

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨It's all SO simple!⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I keep telling my burger “no”, but it won’t respond, so I keep biting it until it will.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Pornography depicting sexual relationships between step-relatives set to be banned⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  “Playing GTA will make you kill hookers and steal cars! Just like watching porn will make you commit incest and pedophilia!”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨big facts⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  No, no, no, no. You obviously have to sacrifice a goat by dropping it into a volcano and make sure to drink the piss while the goat is still falling.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Game over⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  That’s where food comes from - trees, bushes, grasses, dirt.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Feel sorry for the guy that has to sit next to him. You can see how uncomfortable he is.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Simple analogy⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  The answers are yes and no.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Twitch: "Hey, come back! This commercial break can't play while you're away."⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  for a better experience

  LOL, fuck your brainwashing.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[Video] Australian police seizes “Wanted - Netanyahu" sign saying it is antisemitic⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  If I wanted to speak to you I would.

  Well, HE’S SPEAKING TO YOU! What a fucking power tripping cunt. You are paid by the public and you are here to serve the public, why can’t you answer a simple question? Is it because you know what you’re doing ia wrong?

  ACAB.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Interesting question. For me it would be a dead grandfather⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Just the two of us? Trump, and I would bring a gun.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Did I discover a fake conspiracy theory?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  So a sex offender for life for getting slightly mad when someone jumps in front of your car almost making you a murderer.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Beast Mode⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  That’s what I imagine serial killers look like when they’re murdering someone.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨straight down to business pls⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Tests usually have more than one variable. Attractiveness is a key variable in sexism.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨straight down to business pls⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Reverse the genders.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Without hierarchies/authority figures, the bootlickers would be totally lost. 🤠⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Daddy issues

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨If someone tells you that communism has led to famines in the USSR and China, that it doesn't have any incentives and that anyone who supports it use products of capitalism, how do you counter this?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I nod my head in agreement.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨WMD⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  In south America. The slipper needs to be replaced with a belt for other parts of the world.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Is £70 becoming harder to justify? The rise of cheaper blockbuster games⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I can’t remember the last time I bought a game more expensive than $20. If you price it higher, I will just pirate it.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨pro tip⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  For some reason I never find animal violence jokes funny. Human violence on the other hand is all good. Humans are garbage

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Why is #FFFFFF white, but mixing red green and blue paint is black?⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  One adds colours the other subtracts them.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Shit, I'd pay $9⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  My phone has this cool feature where a bot can answer the call and you can see a live transcript, with options to choose answers for “ask why they are calling”, “tell them to call back later”, etc. I use it all the time.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Britain’s High Court says government acted illegally in outlawing protest group Palestine Action⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Except it’s the same government, not the previous one that banned it.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Britain’s High Court says government acted illegally in outlawing protest group Palestine Action⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  When I do something illegal, I get punished. So does that mean the people who banned the group, are going to be punished, right? Right?!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨There are no accidents⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I don’t think i have ever farted accidentally. How old are you? I know it happens with age, we all saw Trump shit himself.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  The problem is that a lot of women are really terrible at giving the right signals, and men are really bad at reading them.

  And because men are the ones that pursue women traditionally, what do you expect them to do?

  If they think there’s even a small chance, they will make the move, because they know if they don’t, even if that woman likes them, she will never ever make the first move.

  The problem is the traditional approach to romance and the fact that women rarely pursue the men they like.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨i'm a hardliner⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  You plug ethernet into your phone?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Performance enhancement⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Hyaluronic acid is one of the most common ingredients in moisturizers, capable of holding up to 1,000 times its weight in water.

  First time hearing about it being injected into pps.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anyone has videos of JD Vance getting booed? I can’t find proper booing videos, but those supposedly exist⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Everyone links this video, but I hear no boos there, other than commentators saying that.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I am looking for a Linux OS⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  The beauty of asking a linux advice from linux nerds is that you will get as many different advice as there are comments and then will have to do your own research anyway.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨A tape measure is not accurate around curves⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I knew I was measuring it wrong the whole time. Clearly you need to start measuring from inside the balls.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Almost a quarter of soup on sale in UK supermarkets has too much salt, study finds⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Isn’t this the case for pretty much all ready-made meals?