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What's your test for people?

⁨793⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨LadyButterfly@piefed.blahaj.zone⁩ to ⁨memes@sopuli.xyz⁩

https://piefed.cdn.blahaj.zone/posts/yD/BE/yDBE5A6TDfISNF2.jpg

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Comments

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  • kittenzrulz123@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

    My test is the classic shopping cart test, for those who don’t know its a test based on if someone returns a shopping cart. Its a societal benefit that is not aknowlaged and requires minimal effort. You wont be punished if you dont return it yet you’re being an asshole.

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  • MostRegularPeople@lemmy.world ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    When I was a server I hated when people stacked their own plates. First off, I found it performative. Secondly it messed with my system. Thirdly it usually produced a 20lb pile of dishes covered in queso, half eaten burritos, and guacamole that was impossible to carry.

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    • mojofrododojo@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      bussed tables for years; what are you doing clearing tables as a server?

      I liked it when people stacked their shit up, it shaves a few seconds off me doing it before I dumped it in a tub.

      As far as food issues - well yeah if they’re some kids acting like cretins pouring shit all over that’s a problem but what’s that got fuck all to do with the stack?

      I find your hate performative to be honest.

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    • volvoxvsmarla@sopuli.xyz ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Yeah man. I don’t stack anything, not because I don’t want to help, but I don’t want to mess with your system. Waiting isn’t as easy as it seems and I absolutely have no idea how to do it, so I don’t want to interfere. I prefer to sit awkwardly and pretend that me leaning back as much as I can to make more space is equally helpful.

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    • cows_are_underrated@feddit.org ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Okay, fair enough. How about putting eventual food, that has not been eaten, on the top plate (and in general making sure the plate is not completely dirty)

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    • marzhall@lemmy.world ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Huh, me mum was a waitress at one point and taught me to stack for politeness, I didn’t realize it was a preference thing. Now I’m not sure what to do.

      I’ll still keep ordering the queso though, that shit’s delicious.

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    • tetris11@feddit.uk ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      This. Heard the same from a waiter friend a while back. Since then, I do nutsack

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      • MostRegularPeople@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Nutsack is preferable.

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  • HollowNaught@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Haha, no

    Sincerely, a waiter

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  • Don_alForno@feddit.org ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Waiters have told me to please not stack the dishes because it messes with their carrying technique.

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    • thevoidzero@lemmy.world ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Yes. If you do it incorrectly then there’s food on the bottom of the plates now and they can’t shuffle it to their preference anymore.

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  • corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    As a former waiter, I have a counterpoint:

    • I can’t carry that wobbly precarious mess you’ve made, and it’s easier to disassemble and reassemble it because I know how to do this.

    Thus, you’ve created work for me.

    Thankfully I haven’t been a waiter in - oh look! - 30 years.

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    • idiomaddict@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Plus if you hand me a messy stack, I now have to leave the table with it. If I can arrange food waste and cutlery on my own, I can carry way more

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    • SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      But I put the cutlery up top, so it’s not wobbly at all.

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      • HollowNaught@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Yes, but most waiters won’t even put the cutlery on top of the stack. They’ll usually have the main stack on their forearm, while having a separate plate held in their hand. This single plate has all the cutlery, and it’s pinned down by their fingers

        By putting all the cutlery on top, it’s much more likely for them to fall when walking around

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      • yermaw@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Wait do people really just stack them with all the cutlery scattered throughout the tower?

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    • kadaverin0@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      I’m a former chef, so I’ve seen what happens when these best intentions go poorly.

      Stack neatly and in manageable heights. If you leave utensils and food between the plates: you’re not helping. Scrape remnants on to one plate and leave it at the top of the stack with the utensils.

      Also, tip well. At least until we get the radical changes in labor law that would prevent these ratfucking cokehead “Chef”-Owners from paying the dirt wages that makes people live and die by their tips.

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    • taiyang@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      My wife used to wait tables and we generally eat or box everything, so I’m pretty confident she’s right to pre-bus (and even wipe the table a little while waiting for check).

      My only personal analogy is bagging groceries; self service shows how typical people have no idea, while an experienced bagger does. I saw a guy literally put eggs in the bottom of their bag. I can’t imagine how terrible their pre-bussing must be.

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      • brbposting@sh.itjust.works ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        sheepishly telling the cashier thanks cuz my bag Tetris is no good

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    • marduk@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Yeah, I originally thought I was being nice until I heard this exact sentiment from another server. I try not to make a ridiculous mess and tip at least 20% for good service

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    • Psythik@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Well luckily for you I have restaurant industry experience, so I already know how to stack them the right way.

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    • LadyButterfly@piefed.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Yep instead I pass things out of reach, look the waiter in the eyes, comment on how hard they’re working and chat to them. Just treat them like they’re human

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    • jqubed@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      I almost never had a table stack their stuff the way I wanted. Just make sure your spot is tidy, easy to grab, and there are no surprises like silverware or a tiny dish wrapped inside a napkin. Definitely don’t stick a paper napkin inside your cup that still has a drink in it. By the time it gets back to the dish station it will have turned into a paste someone has to dig out and will be cursing you!

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    • Landless2029@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      I always prebus. If i don’t know how to stack funny dishes then I leave them in small piles by type with cuttery on the top of what makes sense.

      Takes less than 5 seconds for a stack / pickup with a nod to the busser.

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  • Cataphract@lemmy.ml ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Just wanted to put in a counter for what a lot of people are saying in here, if you’re looking for a “perfect-clone friend” right out the gate then prepared to be lonely as your tests fail… not because they’re horrible people, but because they’re a different person with different experiences.

    The person litters (like @tiramichu@sh.itjust.works suggested)? Probably see’s their entire family litter constantly and never gets comments or maybe even once got reprimanded for saying not to litter to an elder. Just ask them not to when they’re in your vehicle, take into account their reaction and maybe have a conversation about it? (personal experience, just let me friend know it was lame and he stopped doing it. But now his vehicle is a roaming trashcan so I guess take what you can get)

    You can be friends with people who are different or were raised differently than you, it’s actually super beneficial! Now if it’s a constant argument or it’s turned into a negative experience every time and communication isn’t working… it might be useful to move on for everyone’s sake at that point.

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  • LoafedBurrito@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    What do you do with your shopping cart when you are done? Do you just leave it to fend for itself in the sea of the parking lot? Or do you do the right thing and bring it back inside or to the cart corral.

    The REAL REAL sign though? When someone brings a cart from the parking lot into the store to shop with, ultra move.

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    • Entertainmeonly@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I like to stay in the chaotic neutral category. I get my cart from the parking lot, but return it exactly where i found it. Even if it was in the middle of the lot. 😝

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    • Applejuicy@feddit.nl ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      This has to be in the top 5 most US things.

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  • But_my_mom_says_im_cool@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    My mom was a cleaning lady and I worked in hospital housekeeping for a while. I always wipe down my table and tidy the plates etc. my kids have picked it up just from watching and they always clean their mess when we go out, can’t get them to clean up at home though

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  • usernamefactory@lemmy.ca ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    You’d fail my test if I learn you have tests for people.

    Maybe it’s just a matter of phrasing, but the idea that I could be kind to our server all night, tip well, generally hit it out of the park, but be disproportionately judged for failing to do this one small thing because it’s your personal test? Sets my social anxiety off enough that if I knew that were on your mind I’d probably just say we’re not compatible.

    Obviously, keep an eye out for shitty people, and don’t put up with bad behaviour, but also judge people as people, wholistically.

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    • tiramichu@sh.itjust.works ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      It says the word ‘test’ in the post title, but if it helps I don’t think you need to take it so literally.

      This isn’t “setting up” specific situations for people, but more like how people respond in normal everyday situations which you might consider to be either red flag or green flag behaviour.

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      • usernamefactory@lemmy.ca ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Yeah, what you’re saying makes sense. I like “bad personality indicator” as an alternative, since it conveys to me it’s one of many indicators you might process, maybe not even consciously. I’ve just had rather negative experiences being “tested” and hearing that world applied to any kind of casual social interaction gets my hackles all the way up.

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  • ulterno@programming.dev ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    If it’s a self service place, I tend to look around if there is a place to keep the dishes (kinda like SubWay has).
    Otherwise, I don’t stack. Waiters can have different ways of taking the dishes and those ways are usually based on all the dishes being random-access. I’d rather do nothing, than stack it the wrong way.

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  • BanMe@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    It’s fun to have a friend who’s been a waiter for 30 years, he just openly narrates the service and how good/bad they’re doing (usually “look at how hard they have to scramble because you assholes came in late”)

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    • doingthestuff@lemy.lol ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      If they’re accepting new tables, you’re not late. They can change the time they stop taking tables.

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      • BanMe@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        We have a group that can be a dozen people easily, but sometimes it’s like a clown car of people wandering in after we sit down, so they have to drag more tables and more tables in, reorder the tickets, etc. Last time 16.

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  • Godort@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    If you leave your cart in a parking space, you’re sub-human

    You’re passible if you take it to the corral

    But a truly good human will stack the carts into proper rows if the carts are loose in the corral

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    • salacious_coaster@infosec.pub ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      I firmly believe in the validity of the Shopping Cart Test. On a related and depressing note, my little city is overrun with errant shopping carts.

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      • Zikeji@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        I have a clip from my dashcam floating around somewhere of me stopping, jumping out of my car, then hauling ass to catch someone’s runaway cart moments before it hit a parked car. Honestly one of my proudest moments.

        On the opposite end, I once left a cart (on a curb) and it haunted me. To be fair, it was absolutely storming outside and I was chilled to the bone and just wanted to warm up…

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      • explodicle@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
        1. I used to work at a supermarket and preferred returning carts to other tasks, and got paid hourly. When someone returns the cart, they’re doing that hourly work for the store owner for free. Since time is rival, you could be more effective with your altruism than helping store owners.
        2. You’re depressed because there’s so much homelessness, right?
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    • brygphilomena@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      I do have some caveats for this. As my parents both park in handicap, we’ve noticed that the cart corrals are super far from the handicap spots and I won’t blame someone who already has trouble walking half way down the parking aisle to a corral.

      I do tend to take the random carts from the parking lot in to use for shopping when I see them though. No reason to take one of the ones already brought back.

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    • potoo22@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Apparently I’m a truly good human because my organizational autism trait gets triggered. I’m not even annoyed fixing them. It’s just satisfying to see them in order.

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    • BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      The exception is the handicapped area. When I drive my 80 something mother, we park in a handicapped spot, and I get out and grab the nearest cart for her. She uses that like a walker to get to the store. When we get back to the car, and she gets in, I leave the cart near the handicapped spots for the next person. I have often seen others do the same thing.

      We parked the other day, and there were no carts nearby, so I went and got one for her. She could have made it into the store with just her cane, but she would have been slower, and not as confident.

      So leave a cart or two in the handicapped zone. The handicapped folks have already worked out their own system that the normies don’t know about or understand. It’s a Geezer Thing.

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  • Couldbealeotard@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    This comment section is a nice mix of “I’m a waiter, please don’t do this, you’re making my job harder” and “I always do this to make the waiters’ lives easier”

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    • TeddE@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Checking in at 23 hours - I count one comment to this effect, but even there the caveat is ‘but only if you do it wrong’

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      • HollowNaught@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        As a waiter, I’ve never had a customer stack their plates correctly for me

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  • danhab99@programming.dev ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    The definition of bigotry is someone who’s behavior is a function of what they know about you. If people change their behavior to treat me better or worse because they learn (for example) that I’m gay then I don’t want them at all.

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    • tooclose104@lemmy.ca ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      No it’s not.

      From the Oxford dictionary:

      obstinate or unreasonable attachment to a belief, opinion, or faction, in particular prejudice against a person or people on the basis of their membership of a particular group.

      From the Collins dictionary:

      Bigotry is the possession or expression of strong, unreasonable prejudices or opinions.

      From vocabulary.com:

      A bigot is someone who doesn’t tolerate people of different backgrounds or opinions. Someone who tells a racist joke might be labeled a bigot. A bigot can also be someone who refuses to accept other ideas, as in politics.

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    • AnanasMarko@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Ok… so someone finds out you’re gay. Figures to themselves you’re probably having it hard, with all the LGBTQ+ hate thats going around, and are making sure to treat you nicer because of it -> bigots.

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      • faythofdragons@slrpnk.net ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Not the guy you’re responding to, but…

        maybe let some things slide that would irk them otherwise

        As a non-straight person, I don’t want yesmen either. If I’m being an idiot, I want my friends to tell me nicely that I’m doing the stupid, I don’t want them to ignore it because “oh she’s gay, I don’t want to hurt her feelings”.

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      • danhab99@programming.dev ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        and are making sure to treat you nicer because of it

        That’s a bad thing

        If I could trust that this is the reason behind a person’s behavior then we wouldn’t be having this conversation. But there are so many potentially malicious reasons to be extra sugary sweet to someone different. Plus it’s infantalizing to be “treated nicer” like I’m not a kid. I don’t want everyone to change their tone I just want to participate and have fun. If political issues were bothering me then I’d go to a political group that centers my lgbt-ness, that’s my choice

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  • 2Geechi@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    My dad gets legitimately angry when I do this. Boomers are a different breed

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    • shalafi@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      I don’t think it’s an age thing, more of an empathy test. I’ve been a dishwasher, maybe that’s why I tidy up.

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      • BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        I’ve owned a restaurant, and once you’ve done that, you’ve been the dishwasher, janitor, toilet plunger, punching bag, robbery victim, etc.

        After all that, you tend to lose that sense that some jobs are below you. You just see it as work that has to be done, and you’re standing there, so it might as well be you, so get it done.

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    • gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      My dad gets legitimately angry when I do this

      I think it has to do with “putting the waiters out of their job”. Like, when you do a part of the job for them consistently, the restaurant manager will eventually notice that and realize they can do with a little bit less staff. So they hire fewer waiters, which means potential waiters face a tougher job market.

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    • Goodmorningsunshine@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Yeah, my boomer uncle told me it was low class after he watched me do it. When I was a waitress at the time. Fuck him and that mentality - I do it to this day and make into 6 figures

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      • brbposting@sh.itjust.works ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Impressive. Employ a buncha seasoned techniques ‘n’ tactics during service? Influence by Dr. Cialdini had some, (including one that was essentially dishonest), but one more normal one like this:

        One of the best demonstrations of the Principle of Reciprocity comes from a series of studies conducted in restaurants. So the last time you visited a restaurant, there’s a good chance that the waiter or waitress will have given you a gift. Probably about the same time that they bring your bill. A liqueur, perhaps, or a fortune cookie, or perhaps a simple mint. — So here’s the question. Does the giving of a mint have any influence over how much tip you’re going to leave them? Most people will say no. But that mint can make a surprising difference. In the study, giving diners a single mint at the end of their meal typically increased tips by around 3%. — Interestingly, if the gift is doubled and two mints are provided, tips don’t double. They quadruple—a 14% increase in tips. But perhaps most interesting of all is the fact that if the waiter provides one mint, starts to walk away from the table, but pauses, turns back and says, “For you nice people, here’s an extra mint,” tips go through the roof. A 23% increase, influenced not by what was given, but how it was given. — So the key to using the Principle of Reciprocity is to be the first to give and to ensure that what you give is personalized and unexpected.

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    • LadyButterfly@piefed.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      That’s bizarre to me.

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      • TeddE@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Too many people see life as a zero-sum game with a one-dimensional ranking. To them, success is defined as the number of people of people you’re better than. Worse, many people go by pass/fail,as in “they’re one of the good ones” (popular with bigots everywhere)

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  • jobbies@lemmy.zip ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I mean, you could stack your dishes but still be a rapist or murderer.

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  • Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    My wife and I do this, but I’ve always wondered whether I’m actually helping or just creating a different kind of inconvenience by not organizing them in a beneficial way.

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    • Goodmorningsunshine@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      It’s helpful! But don’t put trash inside the cups - this can be annoying to empty

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  • DJDarren@sopuli.xyz ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    My ex wife always refused to put her shit in the bin at McD’s on the basis that someone was paid to do it.

    No. Someone was paid to wipe the table down, not pick up your shit.

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  • gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    My test for people is dressing plainly, by which i mean, not excessively well. I wear simple and plain clothing and have a plain appearance.

    In my opinion, jewelry and cosmetics and all that are all very problematic. The whole feminism movement is largely about the fact that women don’t want to be objectified, but then they objectify themselves, i argue. By wearing makeup, you’re making yourself a “pretty thing”, one whose superficial appearance is judged, which is arguably more problematic than helpful. Like, if you’re a woman and talking to a man and you’re overly pretty, you subconsciously think that they only talk to you because you look pretty, and that makes you suspicious of them and a little bit angry, which hinders the discussion and makes honest exchange of opinions a bit more difficult. If you dress plainly, don’t wear makeup, earrings or any of that, then you can’t think that they’re only interested in your superficial appearance that they’re interested in, so that means they talk to you because of your personality, which i think puts you in a better mood and makes the talking more worth-while. It leads to higher-quality exchanges.

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  • Luvs2Spuj@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Pre bussing be bussin

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  • answersplease77@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    you want me to work for you, pay for everything, and tip you?

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  • explodicle@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    This and the shopping cart thing share the theme of consuming with less cost to the business owner, but with no actual difference (or making it worse) for the employees. Their boss will use all of their time no matter how much work they do. You aren’t saving them work; you’re saving the boss’ money.

    If you decline to go into a business near closing, then you’re my kind of people. If you tip highly you’re my kind of people. If you order clearly, concisely, and politely you’re my kind of people.

    But while you’re pushing Sisyphus’ boulder up the hill, he just has to go find another boulder.

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  • socsa@piefed.social ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    But do you even bring your glass back to the bar before you leave?

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  • brygphilomena@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    I may tidy up. But I don’t stack. I won’t even stack at my house, I hate touching the dirty bottom of a plate.

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  • doingthestuff@lemy.lol ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    My wife goes crazy with this, gets every last little thing together. I do some, but not like she does. I’m not sure they want all the straw wappers and shit on top of the pile of places anyway.

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  • MehBlah@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    My family would get upset if you did that or if the server came by and offered to take the empty plate away. Why yes one of them is named karen. How did you guess.

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  • Dyskolos@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    I thought this to be common courtesy everywhere?

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  • rbos@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    As long as you don’t overstack it. Make a tidy stack that can be carried easily with one hand securely. If you eg put utensils between plates you can cause an accident.

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  • rumba@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    My boomer mother did this. My boomer father was indifferent.

    I do this.

    For the record, the only things that get stacked are things that are perfectly stackable, I don’t put a plate on top of a half-eaten cheese steak or leave utensils in the middle.

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  • jws_shadotak@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    I usually have a pack of gum and I deliberately start a pattern on how I take pieces out. Usually it’s from left to right, emptying a full row before I move on to the next.

    My test is to offer them gum and see where they pick from. Will they recognize a pattern and continue it? Or will they be oblivious?

    Either way, it’s not a measure of good or bad. It’s just a fun lil test.

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