ITT: people taking a shitpost from 4chan seriously.
Deserved? Poll inside
Submitted 3 weeks ago by TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone to [deleted]
https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/pictrs/image/334af10b-adee-4660-830c-1d130993df01.webp
Comments
PlaidBaron@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
themeatbridge@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
You can discuss the events of a story, and the relative morality and social etiquette of the characters in it, even if the whole thing is entirely fiction. Functionally, it makes no difference if it really happened or it didn’t. Sometimes that matters, but here is doesn’t. You don’t know these people, you’ll never meet these people, and there’s no real-world effect of discussing this story (except maybe someone learns not to touch somebody else’s food?).
Fuck it, you could be a bot programmed to complain about people taking shitposts seriously. I could be an AI created to respond to your prompts to try to convince you not to complain about fabricated stories. This entire interaction could be four bots engaged in a learning exercise in a simulated online forum. Or maybe it was all a dream the whole time.
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
PlaidBaron@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Now thats a good shitpost comment. You get it.
Gold_E_Lox@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
wow! congratulations! you figured out social media is pretty much useless and entertainment is pointless! this guy is smart because he thinks is a worthless endeavour, and i was really starting to base my whole morality system on this shitpost, thanks for steering me in the right direction! :D
TrickDacy@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Fuck 4chan
DrDystopia@lemy.lol 3 weeks ago
Poll: VPN user voting is not allowed.
Ok bye.
TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
Yeah I thought I disabled that, but apparently not. Silly that that seems to be the default
DrDystopia@lemy.lol 3 weeks ago
Enter my answer “I deserve to be able to opt out of taking this poll” for me pls.
uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
This sounds like the kind of flirting I’d expect after seeing '80s and '90s teen angst movies. In retrospect screenwriters just don’t understand how humans interact, or rather they just don’t care and go for madcap antics instead.
I’m way neurodivergent, and was completely unaware of human interaction, so I was looking at Pretty in Pink and St. Elmo’s Fire (etc. etc.) trying to decipher how all that works.
I became sexually active at 26 after folks from the kink community noticed my nerdy vibe, and they schooled me in some basic human interaction. (Note that I matrix-dodged a barrage of incel-to-fascist pipeline bullets thanks to some amazing strokes of fortune.)
After the fact, in recollection, I realized then that a lot of women in my young adult life were signalling me and I never knew.
I also realized my aunt was totally hitting on me when I was sixteen. That’s all sorts of awkward to reconcile.
vivalapivo@lemmy.today 3 weeks ago
Note that I matrix-dodged a barrage of incel-to-fascist pipeline bullets
Here goes my hero
bathing_in_bismuth@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST
Bane_Killgrind@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
I’m glad they got strokes too
AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 3 weeks ago
“I became sexually active at 26 after folks from the kink community noticed my nerdy vibe, and they schooled me in some basic human interaction.”
Solidarity fist bump. My own experience was somewhat different, but there is the common ground of learning communication skills on a lag, and learning from a niche community of lovely weirdos
uniquethrowagay@feddit.org 3 weeks ago
That’s exactly my experience, minus the creepy aunt and the kink community. My girlfriend is the exact same and I still don’t know how we managed a first kiss. I wouldn’t miss it for the world now, though.
Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Anyone who sticks their hands in my food uninvited is not someone I would like a relationship with.
Respect boundaries.
Numuruzero@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
It’s not weird to touch other people’s food everyone does it just for fun. Go to your neighbor’s house and touch their food and you can laugh together.
IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
ngl, I usually touch my own food, not sure how to eat it otherwise
Zron@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I simply unhinge my jaw and let it slide down my throats.
toynbee@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Well, given your username, I’m no longer sure whether I should allow my guts and food to interact.
I’m also curious whether you made a typo and were too stubborn to correct it, whether it was intentional, or whether I’m imagining the whole thing.
Honestly, I have so few people in my life that finding out one (or more) were a figment of imagination is a genuine phobia of mine. I’ve freaked out my wife by debating that there’s no way I can be certain she’s real. (Though the evidence does support it.)
iAvicenna@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Girl tries flirting by biting lip
<thinking…>
I use arch btw
FrederikNJS@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
Upper lip or lower lip?
iAvicenna@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Does the distro depend on it
Agent641@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Her own, or his?
Vanilla_PuddinFudge@infosec.pub 2 weeks ago
you ever moderated an online forum, big guy? Yeah, I bet you have.
MintyAnt@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
But do you actually use arch?
iAvicenna@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
no :( ubuntu or fedora. I am not worthy leaves in shame
socsa@piefed.social 3 weeks ago
Sploosh
SweetPomegranate@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I’m not sure if the guy was trying to protect his virginity, or if he was genuinely bothered by the damn bitch constantly touching his food. I’d be annoyed too if someone kept sticking their hand in my food every single day.
gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 3 weeks ago
I’d be annoyed too if someone kept sticking their hand in my food every single day.
i’d say it depends on how hot they are, honestly
petrol_sniff_king@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
Yeah, I met a girl who was 40 once who stuck her fingers in my soup and that was not hot at all because she didn’t say anything about that being in kelvin which really ruined my too-hot-and-spicy ramen but it ended up working out because I actually wanted just-warm-and-spicy ramen anyway.
SweetPomegranate@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
You mean how hot is the food right?
marighost@piefed.social 3 weeks ago
Instead, he smashes my burger to bits without even looking away from his coffee, just stares at me
Without looking away from his coffee
Just stares at mehow he do that
TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
She forgot to mention his lazy eye
themeatbridge@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
She was lounging in his coffee cup like it was a hot tub.
Feathercrown@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
She is his coffee
usernamefactory@lemmy.ca 3 weeks ago
Is this that feminist riddle again?
merc@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
“Touching his food” can run the gamut between:
Take one of his potato chips and eat it
to
Stick my thumb in his soup
If a friend or family member took one of my potato chips and ate it, I’d probably be fine with it. At worst I’d be a little annoyed. If an acquaintance or cow-orker did that it would be a little more strange, but not the end of the world. But, the other end of the spectrum is much weirder.
Grabbing a potato chip, if done carefully, will mean not touching anything else. Any dirt or germs on the toucher’s hands aren’t going to get spread around the rest of the food, but touching a liquid or something with sauce on it is different. IMO, touching someone’s pasta is definitely on the germ-spreading end of the scale.
TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
I can’t respond to your other comment bc snooggums is banned from my instance
It’s one of those things that works in movies because it’s something you can get away with if you’re incredibly attractive. There’s a whole stock images category involving girls licking their fingers, mostly in a seductive style. But, in the real world, it’s something you do with your husband or long-term partner, not a random cow-orker.
I think this is what people aren’t understanding. Someone who does this repeatedly surely must have learned that it’s okay/works from a history of doing it, so they’re probably very attractive. I’m pretty confident that most normies would react much more playfully/positively than the responses in the comments here if an incredibly attractive person did this to them
michaelmrose@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Attractiveness is both subjective and situational and people are often terrible at judging their subjective attractiveness to particular others.
There are also lots of reasons not to want to be persued starting with being in a relationship
Also peoples attitude towards germs and hygiene varies wildly.
The greatest sin of this comment is to suppose that because someone does something it makes sense even in their own subjective context. People are both weird and stupid.
WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
I disagree, you don’t scratch your own butthole with your tongue unless you’re a cat.
ConstantPain@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
That’s a copypasta reference of another post from the guy’s perspective.
From his perspective, she is just a weird coworker who likes to touch his food, and he gets tired of telling her off.
TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 weeks ago
liar
Zuriz@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
In the description sh.itjust.works/post/42168198
troyunrau@lemmy.ca 3 weeks ago
This is not flirting. It is socially maladjusted behaviour. Just because it has worked before doesn’t mean it is a good idea.
Pickup artists do all kinds of stupid shit that works that isn’t socially acceptable either.
mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
grue@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Fake: you said yourself that you made it with photoshop
Gay: “Femanons?” Female 4chan users? I don’t think they exist.
realitista@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I didn’t have to go past femanon to know that this was fake.
TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
The correct response is obviously to demand to lick her finger to get your sauce back
90s_hacker@reddthat.com 3 weeks ago
How are we so sure bro wasn’t just flirting back?
nightwatch_admin@feddit.nl 3 weeks ago
Because he was smashing the burger, not femanon.
jia_tan@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
I use Debian fyi
Deathray5@lemmynsfw.com 3 weeks ago
Fake: well obviously
Gay: almost certainly written by a guy
ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 3 weeks ago
Only on Lemmy, is one of the options “I use Arch”.
gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 3 weeks ago
flirting? at the workplace? at this time and age?
have you all not heard about the drama that is going to happen these days because of “sexual harassment”?
ikidd@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
That’s illegal
abbadon420@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
tungsten5@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
My brother did this to me once. Not because I was trying to fuck by touching his food, he did it just to fuck with me.
Hey Tungsten5, watch this
Punches the fuck out of my macdons burger, flattening it
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
you don’t fuck with moms spaghetti.
MehBlah@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
More fake crap.
TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
no this is real
MehBlah@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
It just needs to be better lies is all I’m sayin.
kat_angstrom@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Why would anyone lie on the internet?
MehBlah@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Boobies?
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
A story that practically glows in the dark with “That Happened” particles.
Definitely a real event that really happened and not some sort of weird incel power fantasy. Only thing missing was a bit at the end where everyone clapped.
Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
OP has said they made it in Photoshop, Sherlock.
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
This is about this
You don’t need photoshop to make a shitpost on 4chan.
MITM0@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Deserved, you don’t mess with people’s food PERIOD
DrunkAnRoot@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
[deleted]TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
ty for your service
RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
ty for your service
DmMacniel@feddit.org 3 weeks ago
Image
seriously who touches others food to flirt?!
spankmonkey@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Flirty people in movies.
Real people in relationships.
Weirdos who deserve to have their reheated fast food burger smashed.
merc@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
It’s one of those things that works in movies because it’s something you can get away with if you’re incredibly attractive. There’s a whole stock images category involving girls licking their fingers, mostly in a seductive style. But, in the real world, it’s something you do with your husband or long-term partner, not a random cow-orker.
garbagebagel@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
LOL my partner is a germaphobe and would be very upset if I touched his food. I’ll cook it, sure, but I sure as fuck wouldn’t poke his food with my bare hands randomly at dinner.
Soup@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
It wasn’t flirting, but this ADHD positive girl I was crushing on(and was crushing on me) once absentmindedly stuck the tip of her finger in a full glass of water in front of her to ask whose it was and I had to desperately fight falling in love right then and there.
Now, that was an accident born of silly brain vs purposefully fucking with someone’s food so I understand the difference, but I really like my story so…
adhocfungus@midwest.social 3 weeks ago
I’m going to start doing this now. Total power move.
gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 3 weeks ago
but why?
whimsy@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
Fake and gay
SweetPomegranate@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I could hear this image.
spankmonkey@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
“In front of my salad!?”
lime@feddit.nu 3 weeks ago
i only hear the asmr version