Soup

@Soup@lemmy.world

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Win win⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I mean, I would hope insurance doesn’t need to pay me. That imply I’ve involved in an accident or had my stuff stolen. Even a not for profit insurance company would operate like that. I can afford $100/mo but I cannot afford to replace not only my car but the car or property of whatever I may be found at fault for hitting(and if I get hit, can that person afford to pay me?). If I got into an accident, especially if I were younger, how would I replace my $5,000 car and the $70k BMW I just hit? What if my kid set my house on fire or what if fire leapt from my neighbour’s house to mine?

  That said, it’s absolutely true that system is bloated to an absolutely disgusting level and its shocking lack of regulation for, as you say, being legally required is pitiful. It deplorable that people need to fight to get payouts sometimes and how the US uses it for healthcare is just hellish. It’s also true that the capitalist/libertarian ideal of insurance only really works if people are paid adequately but both those systems do fuck all, on purpose, to keep people’s financial security safe.

  In Québec, liability is paid for by the province so our car insurance is a lot cheaper and regular insurance only needs to cover the physical property, so that’s nice. It’s still got it’s problems I’m sure, but it’s a step in the right direction.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon touches grass⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Halloween party sounds like a time haha

  I hear ya on the suddenly being grumpy thing. When it happens to me I’ve started going “sorry, I’m just a little turned around by [thing]”. I remember one time almost exactly a year ago at my friends’ place where I was feeling kinda weird so I went and did the dishes. One of my friends broke off and came over like “hey! Guests don’t do dishes!”(he wanted to be a good host and was worried that I had felt obligated to help). I told him that really I just needed a quiet moment and to feel useful more than anything and it was all chill. The more I’ve gotten used to just saying I’m off balance/feeling funky/a bit ramped up/whatever else the more I’ve been able to feel safe closer to the edge of those feelings. Hell, there are times with the right people where I even feel ok if I need to be in the “danger zone” because there will be a safety line. If your friends don’t let you take a break then that’s on them, not you.

  Any kinda note works! Mine was just in the notes app on my phone but whatever lets you most easily start writing is the way to go. Could be that app function, could be a scheduled time or allowing yourself to enter stuff as the day goes on, a mix, whatever. Also Logseq looks cool, I may have to grab that and try it out!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Remember the good old days?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  What are you talking about? Of course we do, all the time.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon touches grass⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Well, firstly, big hug my dude. And thanks for being vulnerable with me here, I appreciate it and you’re sounding just fine!

  I get what you mean. You get so used to doing it that you basically no longer have evidence for things being ok when you don’t. I kept a note going every day for a whole year writing down stuff that happened; It was like a journal but focused on working on this stuff and I was so surprised to find how much I was expecting to write “and then it all fell apart” but finding that when it came time to write it down I just couldn’t actually come up with examples. I’m not saying you have to journal, but food for thought.

  It’s also important to not worry about needing to expose deeper thoughts right out the gate. I’m very much the kind of person who just goes pedal to the metal but when I think about what I like to see in my friends it’s mostly that what they do share is honest and not that they need to share a lot. Like, you don’t necessarily need to tell me about your philosophy of life within the first five minutes but if you think bugs are cool or have a strong opinion about olives frickin’ send it, my guy. And hey, if you’re nailing it 95% of the time those are excellent numbers with so much wiggle room! You can be waaaaaaay weirder with numbers like that, and it shows me that you have a strong ability to read the room and measure your response to things.

  You obviously care a lot about people and wanting to respect them so here’s something I heard about a year ago that kinda stuck with me for a similar reason: ‘When we decide for other people what they think of us, deciding for them that they think we’re weird and don’t like us, we’re being pretty unfair to them and not just ourselves.’ If they really do feel that way then ok, but we have to let them tell us that, ya know?

  Also thanks for letting me ramble. I tend to get excited when I seem to be helping in some way so I’m trying to keep it together but may go off a little.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon touches grass⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Hell yea dude, I so 100% understand that.

  When I found that I was being judgemental and closed(and a bit of a stick in the mud, if I’m honest) I just tried to practice doing more “yes, and” stuff. It may be different for you but for me I realized that a lot of what was holding me back was plain old insecurity. I was simply afraid of being vulnerable to that level and so terrified of the chance someone would try to use any error I might make against me that I would get defensive when someone felt at least safe enough to try to give some feedback.

  Being authentic is hard at first because it requires being vulnerable and, friend, I so get why that’s easier said than done. I’d worry less about being something so set-in-stone like a himbo and more about remembering that you’re allowed to be more than a mold filler. Like when you see a character who’s normally a little silly step aside with another and drop some calm wisdom and you go “oh, this person is more than their trope” or when the normally crazy barbarian type character shows softness when it’s needed. It’s situational, ya know? It’s not masking to turn down one knob and turn up the other when it’s appropriate.

  The best part is that even if you strike out making friends or whatever you can at least say that you were a good, authentic person during it all. No one can ever take that away from you but you, and you control you.

  —

  It’ll be hard at first, to take what may feel like such a big risk, but I believe in ya and I can tell you genuinely care so you’ll get it for sure. Start small and build up and you’ll get there sooner than you think :)

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon touches grass⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  The first day at the gym is the hardest, but without any other context I will take your word for it. For most people, though, that is the way.

  For me, I’m pretty ADHD with definitely some other shit mixed in and I’ve just come to accept that many people are not worth it. That said, so many people are and it just takes finding them. I was lucky to not get traumatized into masking as a child, though, and while it makes working with emotionally bankrupt engineers tricky I can at least survive out in the world in the context of making friends.

  I’m curious what a “personality gym” would do for you, as you brought it up. At some point you’d be aiming to take those skills outside, right, so would it be in preparation for the going out and talking to people part? Or would you like to have a personality in isolation and at that point why the gym?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Fossils on Fossils⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Weird to leave at animals like crows with that last one.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon touches grass⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  There is, it’s going outside and talking to people. Also therapy.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Murica⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I’m specifically saying that quoted bit in regards to the fact that general maintenance is not complex or locked down. It wasn’t even the next sentence, it was the same sentence. No one except for enthusiasts are reprogramming their ECUs and after that there really isn’t much else getting in the way. If you put it all back how you found it the car has no clue. There’s almost nothing I can think of that’s actually locked out and when I ask for examples I don’t actually get anything back.

  People just aren’t tinkerers as much these days and it’s not even really 100% their fault. They don’t have the money to buy tools/soace and DIY has actually gotten more expensive in many cases. People also don’t have the money to fix fuck-ups and lean towards caution, and they’re constantly told that these things are way harder than they are(like you’re doing here, actually), often by their parents who have enough money to just pay mechanics or plumbers or whoever. That said, people are starting to do more of that stuff again as paying for labour starts to get too much for our shitty salaries and outweighs the risk factor. Whenever I help a friend with cars, woodworking, luthiering, or literally anything I always get them to do it while I supervise so they can build confidence.

  The biggest barrier to car repair is shit like the Germans having zero clue how to do their jobs and now you need a whole bunch of expensive specialty tools. Hell, doing the brakes on my friend’s BMW needed a 16mm wrench when nearly all packs of wrenches go straight from 15mm to 17mm. VWs are horrendous even with the right tools. Audi has “the service position” which is basically just removing the whole front of the car.

  But for the most part brakes, oil, sparkplugs and wires, headlights, taillights, and changing wheels with the seasons are all easy. You can also do all the suspension work yourself with little more than a sturdy vice and maybe some spring compressors(if you’re clever you may not even need that and can still do it safely). Tie-rods are simple enough, though you need to buy or rent the tool for it. You can even replace broken fuel injectors without much issue. Serpentine belts are mostly accessible, especially if you have a Subaru, too.

  TL;DR: You don’t know what you’re talking about. “Lockouts” only exist in highly niche cases and none of them have to do with basic maintenance.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Murica⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Certainly depends on the car. Also they aren’t so much full-fledged “computers” in that sense as electronics with simple relays and formulas to do stuff like make ABS work, supply the correct fuel/air mixture, or turn your automatic headlights on. Most anything the average person will be doing with their vehicle on a regular basis is completely outside of the electronics.

  As far as having a right to work on your vehicle that you own goes, yes that’s absolutely a problem that you would be locked out of those systems but you probably won’t be anywhere near them, either. As far as bike vs car maintenance goes it doesn’t matter how easy or open the car is, shit’s still difficult for many people, time consuming, and incredibly expensive.

  Note: I’m pushing back right now on that one point because the idea that modern cars somehow know everything you do is complete horseshit made up by people who are afraid of technology and act like you need a computer science degree to unplug a sensor and plug a new one back in.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Murica⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  What car is it, though?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Murica⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I’m sorry I don’t follow what you’re saying with the transmission thing. Like, I do, but I don’t know what car you have or if that’s stock or anything but if you’re talking specifically some kind of highly specialized transmission then ok, but you led with saying that it’s every part in the car.

  Ultimately, there’s just no possible way for a car to actually know 99% of what you’re gunna do to it even if they tried without astronomically expensive sensors and RFID chips and a whole lot of other stuff. The only thing that can really confuse them is doing stuff like completely removing the air filter so there’s too much air(which actually hurts performance most of the time anyway) or changing the timing to where it’d be running like garbage anyway. But oh boy can you still fuck up a lot of stuff without the car having a single clue that it’s about to fuckin’ die. Hell, you could set the toe angle to 10deg and put the wrong brake pads in backwards and it wouldn’t even notice.

  Fun note: On a 2018 Jetta I had to make spacers for the rear brake caliper because we tried FOUR calipers and they were all wrong, ending up with something that was the right diameter but the wrong offset. The weekend was over and we just had to get it done, but it still works fine years later. Never buy a VW, they are just dogshit and a massive pain in the ass.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Murica⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I have a BRZ, extra difficult, and it honestly was so easy. I did it in 45min and I was just chilling the whole time, I really don’t understand what the big deal is. I didn’t do any of the engine lifting crap or anything, just moved the battery/fusebox out of the way.

  For the record, I’m 6’-5” and have large hands, I’m not built for tight spaces or low engine bays.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Murica⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Trick is to buy a Subaru. Everything is just nice and simple, and there’s lots of space to do everything. I’ve only owned them but I’ve helped family and friends with all kinds of other makes and it sucked.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Murica⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Yea that’s nearly 100% untrue, though. TPMS sensors can be a little weird but no one is changing tires themselves, only whole wheels for summer/winter.

  Brakes, sparkplugs, tierods, suspension, all oils, many sound systems and/or parts thereof, filters, batteries, and even a whole headlight assembly are all things you don’t need to tell the car about. I put a backup camera in my car and it just figured it out all on it’s own since there was technically an option for it, and I wasn’t even using an OEM camera. And the car usually doesn’t even know what’s wrong but if there IS a code you can just use an OBD2 reader, they aren’t exactly expensive and they’re super easy to use.

  You either have no idea what you’re talking about or are a mechanic that I’m glad I’m not taking my vehicle to. My 2015 BRZ that has literally none of that, not even TPMS sensors(I know 2015 is not that new anymore but people have been saying this shit for decades). This is exactly why I show people how it works, so that they can understand that it’s not that hard or complicated.

  P.S.: if it’s a German vehicle just shoot yourself, it’ll be a much less painful experience than realizing that a bunch of high-paid engineers with great reputations among the laypeople are really just the dumbest motherfuckers on the planet. Also less physically painful, too. You can still do the work, they just put everything in terrible places and use bolts that have needlessly unique and more fragile heads. Fuck you, VW, you idiots.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Murica⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Exactly!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Murica⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Don’t forget that maintenance is super cheap AND most people, with only the most basic tools, can do the work in their living room or even just on a sidewalk. And if I don’t get it right and the brakes don’t work perfectly I probably won’t fuckin’ die.

  Hi, car owner here. I do all the work myself and it requires a fair bit of knowledge, expensive tools, space, and a childhood where I was never told I couldn’t do that work if I was thoughtful about it. That’s a high fuckin’ bar and requires a whole lot of privilege-oh there it is, too many people with privilege like to shit on those without and most of North America has dogshit for public transit or bike infrastructure and the “freedom of movement” with a car is all there but heavily artificial. Thanks auto industry and their lobbyists.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Pete Hegseth Fires Adm. Lisa Franchetti, Navy’s Top Officer⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  For sure, I’m just saying that her being a woman was, surprisingly, not seemingly the important part. No, the important part was that she might not be morally corrupt enough for them.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Pete Hegseth Fires Adm. Lisa Franchetti, Navy’s Top Officer⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Man, the article is way worse than that. I’m not saying it wasn’t part of it, but they seem to be purging all kinds of top officials in the military. I suppose they’re trying to find people willing to attack us up her in Canada because I’m sure that the people they fired would sooner turn on their president than attack a country that was an ally.

  If Fox News even lied about the democrats doing this the right would lose their fucking minds but the GOP is actively and proudly doing it and there’s next to nothing except the occasional cry of regret because they somehow didn’t see coming the planet sized asteroid that was 40’ away.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Gotta dig this hole for myself somewhere.⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Are you…threatening us? “Let us in or we’ll force our way in anyway”?

  Good lord, go fuck yourself.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Meta approves plan for bigger executives bonuses following 5% layoffs⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Intel CEO is leading that company as it just falls further and further behind. They laid off a bunch of people and got rid of a lot but they still gave him a $6mil bonus.

  We don’t even really get bonuses when we do super well but these fuckwits will get millions of dollars while their choices actively destroy the company they’re supposed to working for.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Gotta dig this hole for myself somewhere.⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Americans trying to move to Canada. No fucking thank you.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Would you consider me a “dry texter”?⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Do you have to ask? Why do you have zero desire to share anything with your friends? Dry isn’t the word I’d use, but “bothered” sure is. You text like you want them to piss off and you want them to know it without saying it.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Trump’s Funding Freezes Bruise a Core Constituency: Farmers⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Fucking yikes.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Trump’s Funding Freezes Bruise a Core Constituency: Farmers⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Yea but the armed people screaming about fighting tyranny are nearly all worthless cowards.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Erasure⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Oh, who did they erase?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Erasure⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  “She should smile more” but for using what it at least not Twitter.

  Oh my god shut the fuck up.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Erasure⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Erasure of DEI programs? DEI doesn’t erase I just wanna make sure I’m understanding you properly.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨DOGE begins purge of FEMA by firing officials in charge of finances⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  abcnews.go.com/…/fema-halting-payments-migrant-ho…

  Here’s a link stating that:

  • Musk has not shown evidence of this.
  • The money is not from the disaster relief fund.
  • The “luxury hotel” part is worded to drive hate when in reality average costs that the organization pays, by deals where it does not need pay full rates, is $152/night.
  • The costs include other things like security, and only $19mil was related to direct payments to hotels.
  • If you see anywhere Musk’s Tweet where he emphasizes “LAST WEEK” please bear in mind that the action of getting reimbursed happened then but the money covers Nov. 2023 to Oct. 2024.

  The nuanced truth is, of course, of a different sort than the over-simplification.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨At this rate, why not.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Would 1,620 of those bombs work instead?