Submitted 5 days ago by PugJesus@lemmy.world to greentext@sh.itjust.works
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/36779b57-f39d-4df1-affe-57621d55ab72.png
I think it’s valid either way. “I’m not attracted to men, thus I’m straight” is as valid as “tried it, didn’t like it, thus I’m straight”
And works the other way around too, I imagine many people who define themselves gay have had romantic or sexual experiences with the opposite sex, but didn’t like it.
Agreed. I’ve kissed two boys as like dares but didn’t like it and I can acknowledge a guy is hot without being turned on by them so I think I’m comfortably on the straight side of the spectrum.
I’ve read all of the comments, at this point, and absolutely no one is actually replying to the question OOP posed. It’s impossible to get a straight answer out of any of you.
Glad I slogged through that until I got to the pun. Nice work!
Gay people often have straight sex when they are unsure about their sexuality. As society becomes less homophobic I’d expect more straight guys to experiment with other guys.
If a man does anything that’s not approved by the strict regulation of the council of his male friends then they are gay. Its simple, there is no need to over complicate it by introducing sex.
My friends said it’s only gay if our balls touch.
That is the standard definition.
A man is also gay (and has a small penis) if he rejects the advances of a femcel. At least according to femcels.
Men are also gay for going down on women, for some reason.
How you know this is legit: if he’d been talking about any dating app other than grindr step 6 would look like 'wait 6 weeks to get a match, get ghosted, get depressed, go to bed mumbling about ‘who needs sex anyway?’.
Well said, guys are eternally ghosted.
I’m a guy, and it hasn’t been my experience. Not particularly attractive either. But I also match with a very little amount of people.
Logical enough. I did nearly the same thing.
Hooked up with a couple. Was more attracted to the girlfriend even though boyfriend was more enthusiastic and attentive in bed.
I’m lesbian.
Friend of mine (m) and his then gf had a threesome with a woman and both him and his gf realised they were gay during that threesome.
sounds like the hook for a movie
As someone who has done a similar experiment (though only making out) I feel like this guy is gayer than myself because I don’t think I could stay turned on or motivated enough to fuck a dude effectively, even a very fem one.
That being said I feel like gay is supposed to mean “attracted to other men” not “not-overtly-repulsed by sex with another man”
There are asexual people who can and do still have sex because they aren’t sex repulsed. Those people are still asexuals, just like asexuals who are sex repulsed are asexuals.
It’s less about what you do and more about why you’re doing it that makes it gay. Are you attracted to other men? No? Then I guess it’s not necessarily gay.
Gay sex isn’t gay? The boys group chat was right all along??
I meant masturbation for men means touching male genitalia. You’re not bothered by that.
I had a few fat experiences as a teenager. I had fun, but I never dreamed of it, unlike with girls. Even a whiff of some girly sweat mixed with like the intoxicating smell of some girls hair could make me want off to them for days.
But the gay experiences were more like “I wonder what a blowjob feels like”. Zero sexual innuendo or romance or lust or infatuation or anything.
Just two friends getting each other off for a novel experience.
Wasn’t really my thing. But I’m fairly confident I’m more confident I’m not gay than most guys, having explored that aspect and found it to really not be my thing.
Did the same with most drugs as well. Tried em all in my youth, but now I only use weed and alcohol.
I mean, you did a gay thing, but only to try it. I smoked pot a few times, didn’t care for it. Don’t smoke pot and haven’t in years and years. I am not a pothead.
How many marijuanas did you smoke those few times? You might die one day.
All of them.
You are addicted to the pot now
Totally a pothead. /s
Now you need to try bottoming to see if you don’t like that.
Its the only way to be sure!
If a man had sex with a woman, then proceeded to have copious amounts of sex with other men and never with a woman again, would you call him straight?
Is call him straight away.
An actual LOL from me, thanks.
Tee-hee.
Id ask him.
Depends, is he in jail?
I mean, if you aren’t certain you’re really straight or gay, then why not try it? Just be honest about it.
If we’ve learned anything about human sexuality, it’s that it isn’t just a small collection of holes to peg into (heh). It’s not even a slider between to extremes, really, but that’s close enough for most things.
Some folks are juuuust far enough away from one end of the slider or the other that there may be situations or specific people where they aren’t exclusively hetero or homo. But, it’s also not something they’d ever know for sure without a chance to try it.
Hell, ngl, there were a few years there that I wondered.
You grow up back in the eighties, and you get fed this backside narrative that if you’re straight, the gay stuff is just disgusting, and you’ll hate even the idea of it, much less seeing it
Well, not me. I had gay friends as far back as jr high. And they were way cooler than the usual assholes.
Get into high school, and know a guy that can get fake IDs. I’m a big, hairy bastard by the time I can drive, so me and my gay bros (including a lesbian, but she was totally a bro in any realistic sense of that term) went to the city to a gay club to see a drag show. Which, a few years later, I ended up working as a bouncer there, but that’s off topic.
So, I’m seeing dudes making out, there’s a threesome going on in the bathroom at one point, there was a back hall where dudes would suck each other off, and I took a peek out of curiosity and got offered head.
But, wait, I’m not disgusted by any of it. I’m supposed to be; if you’re straight, it just bothers you.
Obviously, that’s bullshit, but I didn’t know that.
But, I did know that I never encountered anyone that offered to do anything with me that I wanted to do anything with. Never ran into a dude I was at all attracted to.
So, I really did wonder if maybe I wasn’t straight, just really picky or something. Never tried anything, though there was one person I thought maaaaybe it would work out. Back then, you had what were called cross dressers, as opposed to actual drag queens. They’d “serve real fish”. And one of those gals was 100% a smoke show. But, by then, I was working there, and wouldn’t have done anything if she offered.
So, time passed and I figured out that being disgusted by what other people do isn’t something you’re born with. It’s learned, more or less. Which meant that it was a good thing I’d never tried it, I guess.
But, if someone wants to figure that kind of thing out by doing it? Rock on, as long as you aren’t being underhanded about it. You know, don’t make promises, don’t lie, be up front about what your goal is.
I’m not gay but Ryan Reynolds is Ryan Reynolds.
This is logical and healthy imo. To be straight does not have to mean absolutely hating any sort of gay sex, just not being into it. I think that society makes as believe that straight means the absolute opposite of gay, when really all sexual preferences are one big spectrum and you can be a straight man who is willing to try gay things but not enjoying them.
is good logic
An ex (casual) once told me about her ex that “He needed to suck enough dicks to realize that it wasn’t for him.” A little on the crass side, maybe, but she wasn’t judging him for it and it’s perfectly valid. We’ve only got one life to live and not experimenting with one’s sexuality, if so inclined, is kinda silly.
I am straight, so i’d have to first have sex with a woman to figure out if i dont like it, THEN try with a dude to see if thats better.
Stinky? Try again with a good bottom who does their prep work first.
Idk, even good prep can end up with some smell, it is what it is. But let’s be real, all sexual acts can have smells, we are smelly creatures.
Oral can definitely be a bit stinky, but that is just human nature.
It could be man smell and not ass smell
True. I like a moderately musky guy, so that one didn’t occur to me.
fake and gay
fake: op is gay gay: op is gay
Fake: op never has sex
Gay: op is justifying a gay sex fantasy as “but I’m actually straight tho”
Although… having a disappointing hookup with some rando doesn’t sound not gay.
If you think butt stuff is kinda stinky you should try an Essex lady.
Shit smells like a harbor at low tide.
try an Essex lady
What’s this?
A lady from the English county of Essex.
Absolutely yes IMO. Straight is not the same as never experimenting. A test run makes sense if you aren’t sure. He fucked and found out quite literally.
If he kept his boot bands on then he’s still straight
No, this isn’t logical at all. Even queer people have unsatisfying hookups for various reasons.
Being queer isn’t just about enjoying a certain type of sex, it’s about being attracted to a certain type of person. If you’re questioning being straight, presumably it’s because you think some men are kind of attractive. Find a man like that, meet up with him, and see how things go.
Picking a guy on grindr and only describing him as “kinda feminine” isn’t how you get to enjoyable sex. Where is the initial attraction that you’d feel if you’re into men? The buildup of sexual tension that you’d feel if you’re compatible? The discovery of how different types of sex acts feel? You need to go through these steps to actually find pleasure. I’m surprised that so many comments on this post don’t seem to understand this.
Counter argument:
There are two vegetables, broccoli and carrots.
Some people have only eaten carrots and proclaimed themselves as carrot lovers.
Some people have only eaten broccoli and are broccoli lovers.
Some people have tried both and like both or like one or the other.
At least we can all agree topping means you are way gayyer than bottoming
I don’t agree with this at all. I mean I could stick my dick in a woman’s bottom, but I could’nt get a woman to fuck me up my bottom with her dick.
I believe the adage “business in the front, party in the back” applies here. For me the gayness is far more in what a man would do with his own reproductive organ, rather than what another dick happens to be up to.
Pegging of course is totally a normal and common thing in hetero relationships and nobody says that is gay as her flushed bosom is pressed sweatily up against your back, perhaps the most feminine act a woman can perform for her male lover.
Receptive anal intercourse from a guy is only maybe twice as gay as having a man massage aching shoulders, as one’s own reproductive organ isn’t (necessarily) involved. Fucking another dude in the ass is orders of magnitude gayyer, and entirely unlike anal sex where a woman is the receptive partner.
In this novella-length treatise based on the lived experience of hundreds of thousands of survey respondents I will
I would argue your sexuality isn’t necessarily something you already were when you were born and you have to figure out, i would say words like gay and straight are words to describe other what you desire and what you don’t desire. If you’re curious and haven’t decided which words fit, just take more time and try more things. On the other hand, if you now figured something out you can now have words to describe what you do and do not want in life.
The twist: OP was ace the whole time.
I support your journey wherever it takes you.
That’s the spirit.
kwomp2@sh.itjust.works 5 days ago
Image
Fetus@lemmy.world 5 days ago
You need to top and bottom at least once for a valid opinion.
_druid@sh.itjust.works 5 days ago
Right, what if that prostate massage has your legs all shakey?
untorquer@lemmy.world 4 days ago
You need to do it regularly for several months at least to really understand the culture and determine if it’s right for you.
Slab_Bulkhead@lemmy.world 5 days ago
-Command "(gc above image text) -replace ‘broccoli’, ‘murder’
Mnemnosyne@sh.itjust.works 4 days ago
I mean, it’s still accurate as to whether you like performing murder. You might not like murder as an idea or as a thing that people do, but until you try a murder, you don’t know whether you will enjoy the act of murdering.