superduperpirate
@superduperpirate@lemmy.world
- Comment on I hate it there 3 days ago:
My employer has a subscription to LinkedIn Learning, otherwise I would’ve disabled my account.
- Comment on What is your favorite movie? 1 week ago:
The Big Lebowski
- Comment on I used to really like that one 1 week ago:
After looking it up:
- Russell Brand got charged today in London
- Diddy (forgot he was even in this) got September 2024 in New York
- Comment on Anon calls in for financial advice 3 weeks ago:
Financial advisor Dave Ramsey Snow
His advice on living within your means usually includes gratuitous torture porn. Yet he always forgets plot armor won’t protect you from financial mistakes.
- Comment on Sounds logical to me 4 weeks ago:
If he kept his boot bands on then he’s still straight
- Comment on Anon's coworker is a femcel 1 month ago:
it’s a run-of-the-mill stinky person, plain and simple…
Bingo. Some people are just stinky jerks who care nothing for cleanliness or hygiene.
- Comment on Anon envies the boomers 1 month ago:
4 out of 5 doctors prefer Lucky Strike cigarettes
- Comment on When your mom thinks you're gay because you're 14 and haven't been in a relationship [Day 80] 1 month ago:
There was a related movie called The Disaster Artist about The Room, made by one of the Francos. I’ve seen that, but not The Room. Still strikes me as pretty fucking weird though.
- Comment on Anon discovers real life 1 month ago:
Fuck Colin Robinson.
Hang out with Guillermo instead.
- Comment on Its so joever 1 month ago:
Sounds like a line from a deleted scene from In Bruges
- Comment on Americans are weird. 2 months ago:
Erm, that looks like a mirror reflecting the ceiling fan, not a framed picture of a ceiling fan.
- Comment on What is a metaphor you like in your language? 2 months ago:
Referencing an unpopular future possibility - “that’ll go over like a turd in a punch bowl”
Describing something you don’t miss - “I miss that like I’d miss a case of the clap”
Rain coming in at a weird angle - “this rain is like a cow pissing on a flat rock”
When someone says they wish some specific thing would happen - “wish in one, shit in the other, see which one fills up first”
When you’re unenthusiastic about something - “I’d rather shit in my hands and clap”
- Comment on My dream job and no college degree required 2 months ago:
Lol, that’s an old HEB name tag. Stores used to have names, titles, & photos of store leadership by the customer service desk.
- Comment on David Bowie has been dead for almost a decade. 2 months ago:
I loved the picture of him and Tilda Swinton doing drag impersonations of each other
- Comment on Not even once! 2 months ago:
Doesn’t really bother me. I’m not the sort that likes to post, but I will comment periodically. All this does is give me more stuff to look at.
- Comment on Anon signs up for a 5k 2 months ago:
That’s a fair assumption to make. So our totally real OPs wife now has to make 80 fucks at minimum instead of 64
- Comment on Anon signs up for a 5k 2 months ago:
Because I’m procrastinating at work:
How many sessions of coitus might it take to accumulate 5 km of cock thrusts?
Estimates:
- average erect length: 13 cm (from Perplexity.ai)
- average number of thrusts in coitus: 300 (ibid)
Calculations
- thrust distance per coitus session: 13 cm x 300 thrusts x 2 (accounting for insertion & removal) = 78 m
- coitus sessions to accumulate 5 km of thrusts: 5 km / 78 m = 64.1 -> 64 sessions of coitus
So OP’s wife would have to fuck 64 times to accumulate 5 km of cock. Even with amazing refractory periods, that’s still a minimum of 32 guys running a train on her.
- Comment on Anon signs up for a 5k 2 months ago:
I hope you didn’t have a kid or shared property with the ex
- Comment on Anon introduces himself 2 months ago:
Yep, it happened in 8th grade so people called him Spanky through the end of high school.
- Comment on Anon introduces himself 2 months ago:
I knew a kid who was caught beating his meat on a school trip, and was thereafter known as Spanky.
- Comment on What movies have you watched this week? 2 months ago:
A Real Pain - I didn’t enjoy it. Neither of the main characters was particularly likable. I got exhausted just watching Benji and I can’t imagine having to deal with him in person.
- Comment on Anti-Masturbation Cross 2 months ago:
Change the colors a bit and this could be some bondage restraints
- Comment on Good morning two years ago it snowed a lot in the Maritimes. 2 months ago:
Reminds me of being out in the desert and seeing a sandstorm rolling in
- Comment on Good morning two years ago it snowed a lot in the Maritimes. 2 months ago:
That’s nuts!
- Comment on Good morning two years ago it snowed a lot in the Maritimes. 2 months ago:
Add up all the snow I’ve ever personally seen in my 40+ years and it still wouldn’t be as much snow as this.
- Comment on I am unobservant 2 months ago:
Relevant music video
- Comment on Anon makes a troubling connection 3 months ago:
Wasn’t that on an episode of Jackass?
- Comment on In fact he is still the president. 3 months ago:
More plausible than him being in the North American Marlon Brando Look Alikes.
- Comment on Beautiful stories like this just make you smile 3 months ago:
If you marry a barracks rat, don’t be surprised if she hooks up with Jody while you’re downrange.
- Comment on I'm just a 20 year old guy, AMA 3 months ago:
Is a hot dog a sandwich?