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The second matchup of the tournament

⁨612⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨gmtom@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/60190d43-7796-45e9-8430-b684a01a1249.png

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Comments

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  • 1995ToyotaCorolla@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    I’d pick wolf. They generally leave you alone and don’t want anything to do with you. I don’t know shit about gorillas

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    • IndiBrony@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      Gorillas will tear off your face and testicles AFAIK. Just imagine the depraved shit a human would do to you assuming they could get away with it without repercussion.

      They wouldn’t hesitate to fuck you up.

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      • BakerBagel@midwest.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

        Gorillas are WAY more chill than chimpanzees. Just dint make eye contact and be respectful to the gorilla and it will leave you alone. They know that they are capable of fucking you up, and they know you know.

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    • RecluseRamble@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      Especially since it’s a single wolf. I don’t think I’d choose a pack over the others.

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    • Atin@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      Also, wolves are crap at climbing trees.

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  • Kolanaki@yiffit.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    I choose the wolf. I already have 2 inside me, they’ll just see me as another member of the pack.

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    • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      sounds kinda gay ngl

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    • Noodle07@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      AROOOOO

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      • cmbabul@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

        Nixon?

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    • milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      Depends if you’ve been feeding them well.

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    • FlyingSquid@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      Three Wolf Interior Moon?

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      • Kolanaki@yiffit.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

        I definitely would like more 3 wolf moon shirts to show oj the outside what’s going on inside.

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    • Honytawk@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      That third one is also gay

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  • Allonzee@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    Does this forest get smaller over the course of the night like a hunger games arena?

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    • FlihpFlorp@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      Animal royale

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      • GluWu@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

        We should do the opposite of Noah’s arc where we put 2 of every animal, including humans, in the Houston Astrodome and have them fight to the death until one emerges.

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    • skeezix@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      He didnt say forest. He said Forrest, as in Gump. Maybe Forrest gets smaller as he gets old.

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    • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      so is this like a storm in a battle royale where once it collapse i win? Except instead of winning, i’m no longer lost?

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  • frickineh@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    Gorilla? I feel like being super submissive and not making eye contact would probably keep it from tearing off my arms to use as drumsticks? I’m not a gorilla expert though, so anyone who knows more can feel free to tell me. Although I guess with a wolf, you could just climb a tree and be ok, depending on how long you have to stay. Either, I guess. I’m pretty convinced that I’ll die trying to pet a wild animal when the moron part of my brain tells me it’s friend-shaped, anyway, so whatever.

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    • FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      You’re not completely wrong, but if safety is your concern then you should really be operating under the assumption that the animal will attack you. In that case you’ve chosen a 200 kg gorilla who can climb over a 40 kg wolf who can’t. Bears are actually the heavier of the three depending on race and gender, and some of them can climb while others cannot.

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      • KISSmyOSFeddit@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

        Grizzlies can’t climb but if they want to get to you, they’ll just dig out the tree you’re on.

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  • Blackmist@feddit.uk ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    Wolf attacks on humans are rare but common enough to have their own Wikipedia page, but there’s no record of wild gorillas killing anyone.

    Which means they’re either super chill, or really fucking sneaky about it.

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    • Sylvartas@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      IIRC gorillas are indeed pretty chill if you respect their territorial instincts, as opposed to, say, a chimp that might try to kill you more or less on a whim

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      • sparkle@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

        i find it funny how the animals more related to humans are the more ruthlessly violent ones. apparently bonobos are much more violent than chimps, and orangutans are less violent than gorillas

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    • johannesvanderwhales@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      Wolves are also a lot more common, though.

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      • EdibleFriend@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

        Thanks Obama.

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    • Maggoty@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      Or they happen in Africa so we don’t usually hear about them.

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    • CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      I like big apes.

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  • Etterra@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    Wolf. Wolves are naturally shy of humans, and while gorillas are also, gorillas are also much bigger and stronger. If one decides it’s mad at you it will pull your limbs off. Or worse. A wolf will try to rip you apart and tear your throat out if it’s mad at you, but since it’s in a different weight class you might actually stand a chance if you curl up in the fetal position or whack it in the face with a rock.

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    • 100_kg_90_de_belin@feddit.it ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      If Trading Places taught us anything, a gorilla may also fall in love with you

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  • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    I’m going Wolf personally. I might have a chance with a wolf, gorillas are stupid strong. No thanks.

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    • Honytawk@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      Also, you can just climb a tree, it is a forest after all

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      • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

        Yeah. Wolves suck at climbing trees.

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  • ArmokGoB@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    A single wolf is just a big dog. A gorilla can pick you up and tear you in half.

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    • bitwaba@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      A big dog is fucking scary if it’s not trained, and doesn’t want snuggles.

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      • AeonFelis@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

        What kind of wolf doesn’t want snuggles?

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      • ArmokGoB@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

        Yeah, I almost got torn to shreds by a rottweiler. I’d still take the wolf over a gorilla.

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  • I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    Really missed the opportunity to have the top bracket be “Lions” and “Tigers”

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    • Drewelite@lemmynsfw.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      Lions, Tigers, and Bears, no man!

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  • Starkstruck@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    Wolf def the safest option. Most likely to leave you alone.

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    • JackbyDev@programming.dev ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      We tamed them once, we can do it again!

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      • no_comment@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

        Image

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    • KeenFlame@feddit.nu ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      Why would you want it to leave you alone?

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      • Starkstruck@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

        So it doesn’t feel threatened and try attacking me. I thought that was fairly obvious.

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  • MargotRobbie@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    RIP Harambe. 😭

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  • MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    A gorilla with a wolf tied to it’s back, riding a bear.

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    • phorq@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      Isn’t that that survivalist dude that drinks piss? Bear Grilf?

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      • MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

        It could be, he’s a master of any environment, and I couldn’t ask for a better companion to be alone with in the woods.

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    • RIPandTERROR@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      Apparently I’m trapped in Australia, which is the only plausible explanation for that type of abomination

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  • dumbass@leminal.space ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    Wolf for sure, you can bribe a wolf a lot easier than a gorilla, you move in a way that gorilla doesn’t like and you dead.

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  • casual_turtle_stew_enjoyer@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    Well Todd, it looks like Wolf might be the clear winner in today’s matchup but what I think spectators are really want to know is how the next round will fare.

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  • RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    The other side of the bracket is all the cuddly ones.

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    • gmtom@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      I considered making the other side of the bracket, but figrured the posts would get annoying fast.

      Also wolves and bears are cuddly??

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      • BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

        Also wolves and bears are cuddly??

        Absolutely, in theory.

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  • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    AROOO THE WOLF

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    • TheWorstMailman@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      HELL YEAH BRÖTHER! WOLVES WILL RESPECT YOUR PERSONAL SPACE AS LONG AS YOU RESPECT THEIRS! THEY COULD ALSO RAISE YOUR YOUNG 'UNS TO FORM ONE OF THE MOST HISTORICALLY AND CULTURALLY RELEVANT CITIES/EMPIRES IN HISTORY! AROOOOOOOOOOO(ME)

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    • gmtom@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      Image

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  • KuraiWolfGaming@pawb.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    AWOO gimme the wolf

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    • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      found the pawb social user

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  • Semi-Hemi-Demigod@kbin.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    Forrest like Gump or Forrest like Nathan Bedford?

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    • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      Like Whitaker

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      • kibiz0r@midwest.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

        😉

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  • Akasazh@feddit.nl ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    Even though it’s the most prolific killer of the animal kingdom, the winner of the competition turned out to be the mosquito.

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    • Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      My wife would probably pick the man over the mosquito. She hates those things because they always seem to seek her out.

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  • FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    Can men participate in the tourney, this time?

    Wolf. It’s a singular wolf, so it honestly cannot beat me if it tried. Even if we assume the other two are more docile, all they need to do is try and I would be dead.

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    • Shadowedcross@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

      You think you can take on a wolf? They aren’t chihuahuas you know.

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      • JackbyDev@programming.dev ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

        I know I can’t take on a gorilla. I might be able to take on a wolf lol.

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  • Vespair@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    Wolf. Not only do I think my chances are better, I’d also feel less bad about trying to fuck up a wolf if I had to

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  • Flughoernchen@feddit.de ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    The Tarzan kid part of me wants to say gorilla but the dog person in me would definitely choose the wolf. That’s a tough one.

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  • Thcdenton@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    I picked man over bear because man probably won’t eat you. But if gorilla is a choice, that wins. Gorilla is friend as long as you keep your head low and he knows he’s the boss. Also don’t suprise him.

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  • AeonFelis@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    Definitely wolf. If I get trapped with a gorilla and some shots it to save me, humanity get will get so much negative karma on top of what we are still paying from 2016 and I won’t be able to live with the guilt.

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  • samus12345@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    Run, Forrest, run!

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  • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    wolf, considering they don’t fucking exist anymore (in the US at least, also im sure they still do, just not in significant number)

    Also i don’t like gorillas, they can eat shit.

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  • Kase@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    This takes me back to “gorilla, man, gun,” which was basically the baptist youth camp version of rock, paper, scissors. (It probably exists outside of that context, that’s just where I always played it shrug)

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  • udon@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    Trick question, Wolf is a male surname.

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  • FlyingSquid@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨years⁩ ago

    Are we talking a sign language-using gorilla with a pet kitty or…?

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