I choose the wolf. I already have 2 inside me, they’ll just see me as another member of the pack.
The second matchup of the tournament
Submitted 11 months ago by gmtom@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/60190d43-7796-45e9-8430-b684a01a1249.png
Comments
Kolanaki@yiffit.net 11 months ago
KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 months ago
sounds kinda gay ngl
milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee 11 months ago
Depends if you’ve been feeding them well.
FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Three Wolf Interior Moon?
Kolanaki@yiffit.net 11 months ago
I definitely would like more 3 wolf moon shirts to show oj the outside what’s going on inside.
Honytawk@lemmy.zip 11 months ago
That third one is also gay
Allonzee@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Does this forest get smaller over the course of the night like a hunger games arena?
FlihpFlorp@lemm.ee 11 months ago
Animal royale
GluWu@lemm.ee 11 months ago
We should do the opposite of Noah’s arc where we put 2 of every animal, including humans, in the Houston Astrodome and have them fight to the death until one emerges.
skeezix@lemmy.world 11 months ago
He didnt say forest. He said Forrest, as in Gump. Maybe Forrest gets smaller as he gets old.
KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 months ago
so is this like a storm in a battle royale where once it collapse i win? Except instead of winning, i’m no longer lost?
frickineh@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Gorilla? I feel like being super submissive and not making eye contact would probably keep it from tearing off my arms to use as drumsticks? I’m not a gorilla expert though, so anyone who knows more can feel free to tell me. Although I guess with a wolf, you could just climb a tree and be ok, depending on how long you have to stay. Either, I guess. I’m pretty convinced that I’ll die trying to pet a wild animal when the moron part of my brain tells me it’s friend-shaped, anyway, so whatever.
FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today 11 months ago
You’re not completely wrong, but if safety is your concern then you should really be operating under the assumption that the animal will attack you. In that case you’ve chosen a 200 kg gorilla who can climb over a 40 kg wolf who can’t. Bears are actually the heavier of the three depending on race and gender, and some of them can climb while others cannot.
KISSmyOSFeddit@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Grizzlies can’t climb but if they want to get to you, they’ll just dig out the tree you’re on.
Blackmist@feddit.uk 11 months ago
Wolf attacks on humans are rare but common enough to have their own Wikipedia page, but there’s no record of wild gorillas killing anyone.
Which means they’re either super chill, or really fucking sneaky about it.
Sylvartas@lemmy.world 11 months ago
IIRC gorillas are indeed pretty chill if you respect their territorial instincts, as opposed to, say, a chimp that might try to kill you more or less on a whim
sparkle@lemm.ee 11 months ago
i find it funny how the animals more related to humans are the more ruthlessly violent ones. apparently bonobos are much more violent than chimps, and orangutans are less violent than gorillas
johannesvanderwhales@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Wolves are also a lot more common, though.
EdibleFriend@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Thanks Obama.
Maggoty@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Or they happen in Africa so we don’t usually hear about them.
CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
I like big apes.
Etterra@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Wolf. Wolves are naturally shy of humans, and while gorillas are also, gorillas are also much bigger and stronger. If one decides it’s mad at you it will pull your limbs off. Or worse. A wolf will try to rip you apart and tear your throat out if it’s mad at you, but since it’s in a different weight class you might actually stand a chance if you curl up in the fetal position or whack it in the face with a rock.
100_kg_90_de_belin@feddit.it 11 months ago
If Trading Places taught us anything, a gorilla may also fall in love with you
MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 11 months ago
I’m going Wolf personally. I might have a chance with a wolf, gorillas are stupid strong. No thanks.
Honytawk@lemmy.zip 11 months ago
Also, you can just climb a tree, it is a forest after all
MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 11 months ago
Yeah. Wolves suck at climbing trees.
ArmokGoB@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 months ago
A single wolf is just a big dog. A gorilla can pick you up and tear you in half.
bitwaba@lemmy.world 11 months ago
A big dog is fucking scary if it’s not trained, and doesn’t want snuggles.
AeonFelis@lemmy.world 11 months ago
What kind of wolf doesn’t want snuggles?
ArmokGoB@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 months ago
Yeah, I almost got torn to shreds by a rottweiler. I’d still take the wolf over a gorilla.
I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Really missed the opportunity to have the top bracket be “Lions” and “Tigers”
Drewelite@lemmynsfw.com 11 months ago
Lions, Tigers, and Bears, no man!
Starkstruck@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Wolf def the safest option. Most likely to leave you alone.
JackbyDev@programming.dev 11 months ago
We tamed them once, we can do it again!
no_comment@lemmy.world 11 months ago
KeenFlame@feddit.nu 11 months ago
Why would you want it to leave you alone?
Starkstruck@lemmy.world 11 months ago
So it doesn’t feel threatened and try attacking me. I thought that was fairly obvious.
MargotRobbie@lemmy.world 11 months ago
RIP Harambe. 😭
MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
A gorilla with a wolf tied to it’s back, riding a bear.
phorq@lemmy.ml 11 months ago
Isn’t that that survivalist dude that drinks piss? Bear Grilf?
MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
It could be, he’s a master of any environment, and I couldn’t ask for a better companion to be alone with in the woods.
RIPandTERROR@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Apparently I’m trapped in Australia, which is the only plausible explanation for that type of abomination
dumbass@leminal.space 11 months ago
Wolf for sure, you can bribe a wolf a lot easier than a gorilla, you move in a way that gorilla doesn’t like and you dead.
casual_turtle_stew_enjoyer@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Well Todd, it looks like Wolf might be the clear winner in today’s matchup but what I think spectators are really want to know is how the next round will fare.
RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 11 months ago
The other side of the bracket is all the cuddly ones.
gmtom@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I considered making the other side of the bracket, but figrured the posts would get annoying fast.
Also wolves and bears are cuddly??
BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Also wolves and bears are cuddly??
Absolutely, in theory.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 11 months ago
AROOO THE WOLF
TheWorstMailman@lemm.ee 11 months ago
HELL YEAH BRÖTHER! WOLVES WILL RESPECT YOUR PERSONAL SPACE AS LONG AS YOU RESPECT THEIRS! THEY COULD ALSO RAISE YOUR YOUNG 'UNS TO FORM ONE OF THE MOST HISTORICALLY AND CULTURALLY RELEVANT CITIES/EMPIRES IN HISTORY! AROOOOOOOOOOO(ME)
gmtom@lemmy.world 11 months ago
KuraiWolfGaming@pawb.social 11 months ago
AWOO gimme the wolf
KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 months ago
found the pawb social user
Semi-Hemi-Demigod@kbin.social 11 months ago
Forrest like Gump or Forrest like Nathan Bedford?
Akasazh@feddit.nl 11 months ago
Even though it’s the most prolific killer of the animal kingdom, the winner of the competition turned out to be the mosquito.
Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 11 months ago
My wife would probably pick the man over the mosquito. She hates those things because they always seem to seek her out.
FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today 11 months ago
Can men participate in the tourney, this time?
Wolf. It’s a singular wolf, so it honestly cannot beat me if it tried. Even if we assume the other two are more docile, all they need to do is try and I would be dead.
Shadowedcross@lemmy.world 11 months ago
You think you can take on a wolf? They aren’t chihuahuas you know.
JackbyDev@programming.dev 11 months ago
I know I can’t take on a gorilla. I might be able to take on a wolf lol.
Vespair@lemm.ee 11 months ago
Wolf. Not only do I think my chances are better, I’d also feel less bad about trying to fuck up a wolf if I had to
Flughoernchen@feddit.de 11 months ago
The Tarzan kid part of me wants to say gorilla but the dog person in me would definitely choose the wolf. That’s a tough one.
Thcdenton@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I picked man over bear because man probably won’t eat you. But if gorilla is a choice, that wins. Gorilla is friend as long as you keep your head low and he knows he’s the boss. Also don’t suprise him.
AeonFelis@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Definitely wolf. If I get trapped with a gorilla and some shots it to save me, humanity get will get so much negative karma on top of what we are still paying from 2016 and I won’t be able to live with the guilt.
samus12345@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Run, Forrest, run!
KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 months ago
wolf, considering they don’t fucking exist anymore (in the US at least, also im sure they still do, just not in significant number)
Also i don’t like gorillas, they can eat shit.
Kase@lemmy.world 11 months ago
This takes me back to “gorilla, man, gun,” which was basically the baptist youth camp version of rock, paper, scissors. (It probably exists outside of that context, that’s just where I always played it shrug)
udon@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Trick question, Wolf is a male surname.
FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Are we talking a sign language-using gorilla with a pet kitty or…?
1995ToyotaCorolla@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I’d pick wolf. They generally leave you alone and don’t want anything to do with you. I don’t know shit about gorillas
IndiBrony@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Gorillas will tear off your face and testicles AFAIK. Just imagine the depraved shit a human would do to you assuming they could get away with it without repercussion.
They wouldn’t hesitate to fuck you up.
BakerBagel@midwest.social 11 months ago
Gorillas are WAY more chill than chimpanzees. Just dint make eye contact and be respectful to the gorilla and it will leave you alone. They know that they are capable of fucking you up, and they know you know.
RecluseRamble@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 months ago
Especially since it’s a single wolf. I don’t think I’d choose a pack over the others.
Atin@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Also, wolves are crap at climbing trees.