Got curious. Opened the apple ranking. Checked Granny Smith. Closed the apple ranking.
Utterly useless.
Mmm, roasted apples.
Submitted 3 weeks ago by Varesti@lemmy.zip to [deleted]
https://lemmy.zip/pictrs/image/c09a441e-f0e6-40c3-a2fb-4a6064138cda.avif
Comments
Mrs_deWinter@feddit.org 3 weeks ago
5ibelius9insterberg@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
Granny Smith is the AI-Art of Apples. Looks too much like an apple, tastes just almost like an apple, some people love it, but must of us know it’s bland, boring an uninspired.
Mrs_deWinter@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
bland
I know people who can’t take a bite without grimacing because they’re so sour. You can say a lot about Granny Smiths, but not that they taste like nothing.
Skanky@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Came here for the apple love. Stayed for the absolute hate and vitriol.
exasperation@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
Can you truly love one type of apple if you aren’t furious at lesser apples that come up short?
gastroglizzy@piefed.social 2 weeks ago
Oh yay, I get to address my two favorite common misconceptions about the colonial US at once.
There is an element of truth in the assertion that Ben Franklin owned slaves, but it’s mostly untrue. He participated in what he was taught to do from an early age, but seeing the effects of slavery first hand changed his mind. He spent the rest of his life as one of that era’s most outspoken critics against slavery, even purchasing a printing press to print anti-slavery brochures and pamphlets.
https://benjaminfranklinhouse.org/education/benjamin-franklin-and-slavery/
George Washington’s wooden teeth are a myth. Wood teeth certainly existed, but were extremely uncommon and only used by people who had nothing else. Most commonly, dentures of that era were made from ivory, animal teeth, or cadaver teeth.
AppleTea@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
In May of 1784, Washington paid several unnamed slaves 122 shillings (£6.10, equivalent to $195 in 2025) for a total of nine teeth to be implanted by a French doctor, who became a frequent guest on the plantation over the next few years.
your list is missing a fourth category
Nalivai@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Yeah, he didn’t have wooden teeth, he had slave’s teeth, teeth he got from slaves that he did own but because he was vewy sowy it doesn’t count.
Krudler@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
“He wasn’t a slave owner! He just owned slaves, dumbass!”
Varesti@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
yakko@feddit.uk 3 weeks ago
Why, did they make new worse apples?
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
Given this gestures at everything, it’s likely 😮💨
scoobford@piefed.blahaj.zone 2 weeks ago
Yes actually. Red delicious was famously introduced to wide acclaim but decades of breeding for shelf life and economy left them as the gas station miscarriage baby of apples.
HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
Someone explain to me why Red Delicious is still a thing in a world of Cosmic Crisp?
exasperation@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
Is it still a thing? I thought they moved most of the existing red delicious rootstock over to cosmic crisp branches. And I also think the transition takes time, so there might still be stragglers. Cosmic crisp is less than a decade old.
HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
Beats me but all these old dry bags of sawdust are still being offered in all the groceries I’ve been to.
qarbone@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
“Tradition”? Just like beating your children.
HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
You’re right! I just finished beating them now. Wait, I don’t have any kids, whose kids are these?
lemmygarden@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
they’re a pretty shade of red and shaped nicely. Red Delicious look great in a fruit bowl for decorative purposes.
BluJay320@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
I have never witnessed so much spite in a single review and I’m so here for it
theedqueen@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
The most disappointing apple I’ve ever had was an Arkansas black (or might’ve been Alabama black). Cosmetically it’s a gorgeous apple. Nice and round and a deep shade a red, like what you’d expect to see used as a prop in a Snow White production. But when you bite into it it’s a sandy, mealy disgrace.
criss_cross@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Oddly that’s the apple now ranked as Vomitous Filth
iocase@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de 3 weeks ago
No review for Topaz. Failure of a website smh
5ibelius9insterberg@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
Also no review for:
- Elstar
- Boskoop
- Wellant
- Holsteiner Cox
- Ingrid Marie
unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de 2 weeks ago
Elstar used to be my favorite until i found topaz. Boskoop is really nice for baking.
maltasoron@sopuli.xyz 2 weeks ago
Neither for Royal Gala. Maybe they’re too European.
confusedbytheBasics@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
They don’t have a ranking for my favorite apple either. Liberty (NY 55140-19) are great eating apples. The only problem with them: they’re only in season once a year.
RBWells@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I love the apple rankings site but remain ever a Honeycrisp ho. I never liked apples until one day I was pregnant and hungry and at Target they had out samples of apple - out of desperation I grabbed one and holy crap, it was everything an apple should be, nothing like anything I’d had before, and I worked at a natural foods store, we got the pink lady and cripps and gala, it’s not like I had not tried to like apples.
It will ever be the Honeycrisp, the platonic ideal. Perfectly sweet, perfectly tart, and can be cooked in pies and taste good. I don’t need any other apple. My coworker prefers the Cosmic Crisp but I don’t.
iocase@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
Yeah i was going to say i was the same as you then fell in love with cosmic crisp. Also ambrosia are great too, but if you found your apple love there’s nothing to change! I’m glad you found one you liked. I used to hate apples too after trying granny smith and red delicious. The first was insanely sour and not appetizing and the second was mushy apple shaped pulp board.
zen@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
Fun fact: I live right near where granny smiths were invented (Eastwood in Northern Sydney). I’d like to sincerely apologise to the world on behalf of my city’s contribution.
i_need_your_bones@piefed.social 3 weeks ago
Best apple in current meta is the SweeTango but I’m never changing from my of Red Delicious main
tempest@lemmy.ca 3 weeks ago
Ew, red delicious
tinyvoltron@discuss.online 2 weeks ago
The total fucking worst.
PodPerson@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
Sure, they’re red, but……
Complete failure of an apple.
LogicalDrivel@sopuli.xyz 2 weeks ago
Sweet Tango is my number one even before looking at the site. Kiku would be my second. I couldn’t give Red Delicious a numerical score without finding out how many apples in the world there are and then it would be that -1.
confusedbytheBasics@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
What a joke of a site they don’t even have a ranking for my favorite apple. Liberty (NY 55140-19) are great eating apples. The only problem with them: they’re only in season once a year.
chiliedogg@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
That’s how seasons work, ideally.
confusedbytheBasics@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Yep. I’m not saying it is an unexpected problem.
ten8tp@reddthat.com 2 weeks ago
Honeycrisp or GTFO.
hansolo@lemmy.today 3 weeks ago
One made a few recipes from the late 1700s, and they are mostly garbage loaded up with cloves. Cloves and nutmeg were a money flex back then, so many “fancy” things usually had them included. Like a mince and suet pie… Ugh.
curiousaur@reddthat.com 2 weeks ago
Maybe it was their favorite apple because it’s excellent for cider production?
SlurpingPus@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Fun fact, apples were in fact primarily used for cider back then and almost were made illegal because of it. Which puts a huge twist on Johnny Appleseed.
myyass@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Eating pigeon pie and squirrel isn’t about the food. Especially squirrel, fuck those shit’s. They did a few hundred in damages to my mango trees. Why am I upset? because the shit’s would knock em off the tree, take a couple bites and leave them for me to clean up. I wouldn’t care if they ate it all. They really are pests.
So maybe the apple pie, was the cherry on top of eating the squirrel. Not for the taste, but for the spite.
csolisr@hub.azkware.net 2 weeks ago
Is there a filter to remove all the breeds of apple that are under a patent?tigermountain@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
A sand filled used condom or a new one? That makes a big difference in taste.
notabot@piefed.social 2 weeks ago
It’s not just the taste that would be affected by whether the sand was added before or after use.
kestrel7_7@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Apples are so interesting because the old ones were definitely pretty bland, and not for eating fresh. More for cooking into pies, or cider. But also we’ve experienced some apple enshittification due to mass marketing/long distance shipping. Imo peak apple varietals for direct eating are ones that were popular in the 1920’s/30’s; in the context of the USA, these mean the orchards planted by New Deal/CCC operations are usually a good bet.
sudoer777@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
Isn’t that the website that gives granny smith a rating far lower than it deserves?
pruwybn@discuss.tchncs.de 2 weeks ago
I checked out the website and found it hilarious, but apparently everyone else on here wants to fucking kill them.
lemmygarden@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
What is with that website shilling for Sweetangos so hard?
treesapx@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
More people need to try Opal Gold apples.
TheWilliamist@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
XiJinpingStanAccount@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
AI could never
ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
Lucy Glo my beloved is ranked quite well on the site. Used to bike to Pike Place every other weekend to grab some, always worth braving the crowds over. I miss them and Ranier cherries
rabber@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
I’m allergic to apples and certain other fruits like cherries
Doctors usually don’t believe it’s a real allergy
Throat gets unbearably itchy after just a small bite
humanspiral@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
Most web sites have a more promotional attitude towards their product descriptions. I guess big Newton Pippin industrial complex lost out to more well funded nazi apple propaganda.
TrackenDaKracken@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
If an apple makes it to the store shelf, it’s a good apple. I eat whichever one is cheapest. At the moment where I shop, that’s Gala. But, I also eat Red delicious and Granny Smith. I’m not paying two or three times as much for an apple that’s different. Different isn’t better, it’s just different. Higher price doesn’t mean better product, just better marketing, and maybe “new!”, which is just different again.
The fact that rankings of food are so contested and almost no one agrees, is proof positive that I’m right, here. One isn’t better than the other, just different. No one is wrong for liking what they like. Judging another’s taste harshly, especially in food is silly and wrong. But, also in music, and clothing, and any other aesthetic appeal.
(I know I can’t say “an apple is an apple and all apples are good” because of how apples are cultivated. But, if a variety has passed the taste test with growers to the point that they get produced in mass quantities, then it’s a good apple.)
tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
But, I also eat Red delicious
I support your point about letting people like what they like, but I’ve never had a red delicious that doesn’t taste like cardboard.
Also if you’re not really into sweeter things in general, the apple that fits that palate is probably either fuji or mac.
night_petal@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
I’ve never been able eat anything other than a red delicious because that anf granny Smith (which goes in pies), are the only varieties available to me. ;(
Leeks@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
if a variety has passed the taste test with growers to the point that they get produced in mass quantities, then it’s a good apple.
What if the growers aren’t optimizing for taste, but for the ability to ship them half way across the world and still look presentable?
peter_arbeitsloser@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
The fact that rankings of food are so contested and almost no one agrees, is proof positive that I’m right, here.
No.
FrowingFostek@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I’m too lazy to check the site but, I’m certain snapdragon apples are rated pretty highly. I love those apples.
tacosanonymous@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
FrowingFostek@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Hey, thanks for looking that up for me. I’m glad it got over a 70 its my go-to apple.
TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
These fuckers rate pink lady a 90 but give granny smith a 57 and lemonade apples a 63? Lost their fucking minds; pink lady are just decent and are only saved by their price point. No way in fuck are they the third-best apple variety.
Yeah, no shit lemonade apples don’t taste like you’re drinking lemonade. That’s a problem for like the first one you eat if you’re really susceptible to marketing claims, after which you can just enjoy them for what they are: a solidly above-average apple with a unique background lemony flavor that are fun to mix in with other apples.
The granny smith, meanwhile, is a fantastic pie apple and a great sour apple, and most of the review is whining endlessly about slightly thick flesh (literally good for you, arguably one of an apple’s few advantages health-wise over other fruits).
hansolo@lemmy.today 3 weeks ago
I love your dedication to Granny Smith, and I support you in your rant.
fonix232@fedia.io 3 weeks ago
I fucking love granny smith. Best apple ever.
Juicy, slightly sour, a touch tart, perfectly refreshing on a hot summer day.
I've always found pink lady to be weird. It's just so flavourless, the flesh consistency is like wet, gravelly sand, and it gets mushy so fast...
undecidedyellow@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
How would a pomaceous connoisseur such as yourself explain the difference between sour and tart to an uncouth swine such as myself?
CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I too, am a fan of the granny
gnutrino@programming.dev 3 weeks ago
What the fuck kind of pink ladies have you been eating (ooh err matron etc.)? They should be fairly tart, not the tartest apple in the world but 3.5/5 seems fair to me.
TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Ones that are very slightly tart, and given the tight licensure, I’m not willing to grant shitty quality control like I do for honeycrisp for why they don’t live up to this alleged true potential.
Eq0@literature.cafe 3 weeks ago
And Fuji were “Horse Food” and are now “Barely worth it”! Totally do not agree with their palate, love their dedication and sharpness!
ElChinchilla@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I’d steal a fuji apple. I would use other apples as a throwing weapon
Aqivex@fedinsfw.app 2 weeks ago
Tech. What’s really bothering you isn’t the opinion content, is it? It’s the editorial sloppiness of the place. The applerankings world needs you.
Ashiette@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Granny Smith is an absolute disgrace ! As flaky as my [insert vulgarity here] and no bloody taste at all. Are y’all tastebuds used to eating raw corndog or what ? On the other hand Pink Lady is an absolute banger, sweet, juicy, firm and heavenly.
RaphaelSchmitz@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
No taste? I feel you had counterfeits.
You know those candy rings with the green wine-gum on top and the white stuff on the bottom? bonpek.com/…/trolligreenapplering_47ada6f6-31c8-4…
Those are not just apple flavoured, but specifically Granny Smith flavoured - and it is noticable, particularly because of that Apple’s own flavour.