People who get "happy ending" massages, is there like a common keyword or process?

Submitted ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

I know this is gonna sound like the “Where exactly, so I can avoid it” meme, but I’m sincerely trying to avoid it.

I am pretty physically active, and get massage every six months or so. I have a massage therapist I usually go to, but every once in a while it’s an emergency and my go-to is booked up, so I get a sketchy strip mall massage.

About half the time it ends with a happy ending attempt. Not that I’m against the concept, but I refuse to pay for sexual contact on principle. Also that cuts into the time spent on the actual massage I came in for, and pressures me into a huge tip for something I don’t actually want.

At the same time, I don’t want to assume. It seems pretty rude to start off with “I know you’re gonna wanna give me a handjob but I’m not interested”. So is there some kind of standard “initiation” ritual that I can turn down when it comes up?

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Jhex@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago
is this strip mall in a bad part of Thailand?

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bizarroland@lemmy.world ⁨41⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago
I get a non-happy ending massage about once every three to six months, just depending on whenever the tension has built up enough.

I tried out a new place that was just called Thai Massage that I literally pass to buy every day on my way home from work and when I walked in I had sketch vibes right from the beginning.

I figured, what the heck? I don’t know. The place does look a little rundown, but it was $60 for an hour, and they required that I pay in cash, and that should have been my clue to turn around and leave.

But I said fuck it, I actually had the cash on hand, so I paid the $60 up front and stripped down to my undies and laid there on the bed and the lady walked in and she was a relatively attractive 50-ish year old Thai lady and she just laid her hands directly on my genitals and said, “You like?”

I quickly told her, no thank you, I just wanted a regular massage.

She gave me a very lackluster regular massage that only took like 35 minutes.

Disappointing all the way around probably should have taken the hand job instead, honestly.

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DudeImMacGyver@kbin.earth ⁨24⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago
I never have but I do get massages: Stick to licensed therapists in places like sports clinics, reputable spas, and actual massotherapy businesses.

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The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago
A medieval codpiece would probably send the right message.

Image

(also RIP my search history)

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Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
“Give me the sad ending this time.”

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- agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  The real happy ending is muscle tension relief
  
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  - BooBees@fedinsfw.app ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago
    The real happy ending is the self care we found along the way
    
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Widdershins@lemmy.world ⁨43⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago
The real happy ending is the friends you make along the way.

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AcesFullOfKings@feddit.uk ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago
ask your regular therapist. they’ll be very familiar with the industry and the norms and which places to avoid etc.

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Edges@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
I…never knew this was a real thing.

I don’t think there is any easy way out besides going to the same backup place and hoping they’ll remember your preference.

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Skullgrid@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago
here is an illustrated guide from our friends at penny arcade

www.penny-arcade.com/…/the-jubilant-culmination

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- TowardsTheFuture@lemmy.zip ⁨50⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago
  Man last remnant was a weird game but I really did enjoy it (the rant under this panel)
  
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SpruceBringsteen@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Ask if they take insurance.

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RBWells@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago
This is such an odd problem. Are massage therapists not licensed in your state? I haven’t ever run into that - I am a lady and prefer a male massage therapist, and nobody has ever been any sort of unprofessional. Husband is a man, prefers a female massage therapist and same - he jokes about it but it doesn’t happen with legit places. My brother in law and his wife go to a Korean bathhouse that looks sketchy but they say it’s similarly very safe, professional and no sex stuff. Because they don’t want to lose their state license. If massage is regulated in Florida I don’t understand how it’s not regulated everywhere.

I’d probably tell the manager on your way in that you want massage! Only massage, nothing extra.

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njm1314@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago
Have you tried looking em square in the eye and saying “how about a handy?”

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- Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world ⁨12⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago
  Nah, I’m pretty sure that’s what you do when cornered by a grizzly bear.
  
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11111one11111@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Found Deshaun Watson’s account

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- WhiteOakBayou@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago
  For him the keyword was “Management, another please.” I don’t know if that’ll work for most people.
  
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Onomatopoeia@lemmy.cafe ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Don’t worry, professional masseuse will make it clear to new clients that it isn’t sexual.

If they don’t…

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- agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago
  Interestingly, my previous go-to massage therapist told me that “massage therapist” was the preferred nomenclature, and “masseuse” carried sexual connotations.
  
  My go-to is very professional, but that doesn’t help me with emergencies.
  
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  - Klanky@sopuli.xyz ⁨24⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago
    My wife is a massage therapist and she says the same thing. She hates the term ‘masseuse’.
    
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