bizarroland
@bizarroland@lemmy.world
- Comment on London stabbing rates vs X posts about London crime 4 days ago:
If everybody has a knife, then nobody has one.
Instead of getting smacked on the butt, newborn babies should be handed a switchblade so they can protect themselves.
- Comment on London stabbing rates vs X posts about London crime 4 days ago:
I’m gonna keep bringing this bell until people sit down and reread chicken little
The foxes want you to believe the sky is falling.
They want you panicked, so they can control you.
Their intent is to devour you.
The correct reaction is to not listen to them.
- Comment on spagett 5 days ago:
Rather, they should encourage the other people around them to be nicer to their spaghetti.
- Comment on Finally found an energy drink that will get me through this presidency 6 days ago:
It truly is the ultimate solution for caring.
- Submitted 1 week ago to [deleted] | 2 comments
- Comment on Choina 1 week ago:
I’m tired of these beauty shots glamorizing evil and ugly people.
- Comment on Can't block this 1 week ago:
I apologize for the crudeness, what I mean to say is just because a part of you touches something that touched something else doesn’t mean that the second thing touches the same thing as the first thing.
- Comment on Can't block this 1 week ago:
If I fuck your twin, did you lose your virginity?
- Comment on Can't block this 1 week ago:
The cells that licked your butthole, the parts of me that once placed tongue to ass, will be purged from my body and perish forever within seven years.
- Submitted 1 week ago to [deleted] | 13 comments
- Comment on Do you prefer fluffy UI over Liquid Glass? 1 week ago:
I just like the fact that it has some character and personality. Why don’t we have more stuff with character and personality?
- Comment on I'm not so sure those are "foot" steps 1 week ago:
Maybe she’s legless and going for a hop.
- Comment on the public demands ANSWERS 1 week ago:
They can be if they are attracted to you.
- Comment on the public demands ANSWERS 1 week ago:
Can you imagine how it would feel if the Jaguar curled up in your lap and went to sleep?
- Comment on Anon scares the neighbors 1 week ago:
What scenqrio are you so worried about that not needing the time to cock your pistol is going to be the key difference between being dead and being a hero?
- Comment on How to stay sane in a hostile environment that you can't get out of? 1 week ago:
There was a time during my teenage years where my parents had basically imprisoned me in the house for no fucking reason.
I was going to a private Christian school, and I had fallen a little behind in my studies. Normally, an adult would say, you have to catch up this year, or else bad things will happen.
Instead my parents threw away everything I owned except for five pairs of clothes and made me do hard manual labor picking up rocks and carrying them around the yard and digging up tree stumps with a dull pickaxe for a year and change until I graduated as the valedictorian of my high school a year ahead of the rest of my grade.
There were times when I would look at the pickaxe in my hand and remember that I was 15 years old and that if I took that pickaxe in a fit of rage and drove it through my stepdad’s skull and murdered him with the strength that I had gained from lifting, 90-150 pound boulders and carrying them all over half acres at a go, that I would be out of prison and have a sealed record and a normal life by the time I was 21.
The only thing that got me through that was the knowledge that once I had graduated, that was the end of it, and I would never have to deal with that shit again, and even though I still have issues about it, I did make it through, somehow, some way.
- Comment on Flavortown pass revoked 1 week ago:
I go back to Glenn Close in Hook with the boo box. Even knowing it’s Glenn Close its hard to tell that isn’t a man getting thrown into the boo box by hook.
- Comment on Are whole families into to this? 2 weeks ago:
Isn’t this the guy that replaced his YouTube channel with an AI avatar of himself? Kwebblepop or whatever?
- Comment on target demographic 2 weeks ago:
If you use an agentic browser and it has access to your credit card information, that’s 100% on you. No refunds.
- Comment on Anon recaps the DCEU 2 weeks ago:
Batman v Superman was insane. They tried to stuff like seven movies into one, and because there was no thematic consistency throughout the entire thing, it was just a hot garbled mess.
Why would you shoehorn the death of Superman into the ending of a Batman v Superman movie?
- Comment on You grew up with it. Imagine having to learn it 3 weeks ago:
I could be wrong, but I think a jot is the middle slash for lowercase Ts and Fs.
- Comment on Every golf course should have this rule 3 weeks ago:
I would be scared that I would get stuck on one hole and have to let everyone else play through
- Comment on Cruel and Unusual Punishment 3 weeks ago:
- Comment on Onion forgets the satire (again) 3 weeks ago:
Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t.— Mark Twain
- Comment on Tiny ramen shop 4 weeks ago:
We are two memetic brain cells away from postulating spontaneous generation again.
- Comment on tyranny 4 weeks ago:
Clients, but yeah.
- Comment on tyranny 4 weeks ago:
I’ve actually been dealing with a real life shitposter.
At work we deal with people who have mental issues, and so, in order to protect my coworkers, I’ve been redirecting emails to myself from this one person who has been emailing us carefully crafted iPhone photographs of her turds fresh, hot, and steaming in her bathtub.
She keeps posting questions asking who is shitting in her bathtub, and my response has been consistently, “you live by yourself, it’s you”.
- Comment on genius 4 weeks ago:
It’s spoken like a true Boeing engineer.
- Comment on 4 weeks ago:
Back then you used to have to have a college degree to be able to multiply.
- Comment on Give me some good ones 4 weeks ago:
I’ve never met anyone else so unshakeable in their convictions.
