I write code
Radon
Submitted 11 months ago by Ek-Hou-Van-Braai@piefed.social to [deleted]
https://media.piefed.social/posts/zO/K3/zOK3Et78HdokqR1.png
Comments
Olgratin_Magmatoe@slrpnk.net 11 months ago
kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I generate bugs.
dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Honest.
Ek-Hou-Van-Braai@piefed.social 11 months ago
I make programs
Quokka@quokk.au 11 months ago
I make problems
Truscape@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 months ago
Practical problems, solve
drath@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I suck dick
avidamoeba@lemmy.ca 11 months ago
Nice to see you here Mr. President.
VitoRobles@lemmy.today 11 months ago
Ah, it’s nice to meet another fellow customer service rep.
frezik@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 months ago
Is this really the message we want to send?
Yes, our society makes lots of bullshit jobs. That’s because capitalism can only keep people employed by creating bullshit jobs, and unemployed people are six missed meals away from revolution. That is not the fault of the people who have bullshit jobs.
And no, I won’t accept “this is just a shitposting sub, lighten up” as a response. This is just another form of kicking down, and it isn’t funny. The working class needs solidarity, not this.
VitoRobles@lemmy.today 11 months ago
When I saw it, it was posted on sites to mock this thinking.
Yeah, someone believes it to have made this. But yeah, that person sucks.
SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Agreed, but I refuse to extend that acceptance to most consultants.
angstylittlecatboy@reddthat.com 11 months ago
Yeah I really don’t like the “blue collar good tech bad” undertone here
rumschlumpel@feddit.org 11 months ago
Further reading: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullshit_Jobs
Socialism_Everyday@reddthat.com 11 months ago
Yes, our society makes lots of bullshit jobs. That’s because capitalism can only keep people employed by creating bullshit jobs, and unemployed people are six missed meals away from revolution
Couldn’t be further from reality. Capitalist firms actively hire the least amount of people possible, because if they can get away with equal production and lower number of employees, that means higher profit.
Capitalism is actually the only system in human history with unemployment: it wasn’t a thing in hunter-gatherer society, it wasn’t a thing in early agricultural societies, it wasn’t a thing during the times of slavery, it wasn’t a thing during feudalism, and it hasn’t been a thing in any communist nation such as Cuba or the USSR (both guaranteeing jobs to every citizen as a right, and the latter having 10% of all positions vacant from 1970 onward).
Capitalism maintains an unemployed sector of the population because:
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Employing more workers costs more money to firms
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Having high unemployment decreases wages, improving profits of firms
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Having a pool of unemployed people allows firms to spawn, grow and mutate without difficulty of finding workers to do so.
-
merc@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Is this a war on being specific?
If a fisherman says “I operate the winch on a bowpicker tuna fishing boat”, is that a bullshit job?
If a middle-management yes-man who exists only to fluff his boss’ ego describes his job as “I encourage excellence” does that mean his job is no longer bullshit?
alyth@lemmy.world 11 months ago
“I encourage excellence” - Chef Excellence
LumiNocta@lemmy.zip 11 months ago
I guide people
Why is everyone always annoyed at managers?
merc@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
A lot of managers are pretty useless. Some degree of management is needed because you can’t just have 10,000 individual contributors all reporting directly to the CEO. But, a lot of managers get where they are by schmoozing, claiming credit, shifting blame, avoiding responsibility, etc.
Treczoks@lemmy.world 11 months ago
So I either have a bullshit job “I design chips for isosychronous low-latency networks” or a real job “I herd electrons”…
icelimit@lemmy.ml 11 months ago
You do math.
svcg@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 months ago
I write code. ✔️ Real job. I chop down trees. ❌ Bullshit job.
Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz 11 months ago
I jack lumber.
SirQuack@feddit.nl 11 months ago
I jack off
missfrizzle@discuss.tchncs.de 11 months ago
I fell trees!
you can use “fell” as a transitive verb. it’s a little archaic but sounds cozy.
Novamdomum@fedia.io 11 months ago
Extreme physical danger of drowning, hypothermia, severe injury, insane hours, unpredictable income, huge mental and emotional stress in an industry that often damages the environment and is plagued with human rights abuses?
This comic feels like it was written by the fisherman.
ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Or one of those boomers, who really wanted AI to replace all the intellectual workers, so they either can be stay-at-home mothers or go to “real manly jobs”.
phdepressed@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Yeah as if farmers aren’t using gps guidance climate models soil analysis and gmo/selection etc to try and eke out some profit vs the megacorps.
hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 months ago
I’m pretty sure that it was definitely not made by anyone who’s a fisher.
snooggums@piefed.world 11 months ago
This comic looks like it was drawn by the fisherman.
real_squids@sopuli.xyz 11 months ago
Grimy@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I am an aquatic resource acquisition specialist leveraging distributed ecosystem monitoring, real-time biological signal analytics, and manual–mechanical retrieval interfaces to optimize biomass extraction.
P1k1e@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I fix shit
cows_are_underrated@feddit.org 11 months ago
monotremata@lemmy.ca 11 months ago
Rolive@discuss.tchncs.de 11 months ago
Everybody do the flop!
Limonene@lemmy.world 11 months ago
“Refrigerator Wifi Firmware”
3 words, but my job is still bullshit.
bigkahuna1986@lemmy.ml 11 months ago
So you’re the guy responsible for ads? Get him everyone!
Toes@ani.social 11 months ago
You’ve been tagged as fridge ads. 🤭
Rooster326@programming.dev 11 months ago
You are the firmware?
dreadbeef@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 months ago
i make websites
humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Can confirm this works, since fullstack is a real job, but I can’t describe my frontend bullshit in 3 words.
Digit@lemmy.wtf 11 months ago
I make art.
^ real job.
I get disability benefit trapping me in dependence on the system under threat of impoverishment, destitution, starvation, freezing, if i dare ever attempt to do anything productive, or even look like it, or even not. Paid to do nothing.
^ real bullshit job.
Oh what a great system you have there. >:[
hOrni@lemmy.world 11 months ago
“I hate it”. Does this count?
HenriVolney@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Emails and meetings
Karjalan@lemmy.world 11 months ago
You just successfully described 95% of modern office jobs
BotsRuinedEverything@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Make missiles hit.
Objection@lemmy.ml 11 months ago
Maybe don’t.
Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 11 months ago
You’d think that would help but it probably means they just send more missiles and hit more random things around the target.
Psionicsickness@reddthat.com 11 months ago
He’s a fertility doc.
myotheraccount@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I code
_stranger_@lemmy.world 11 months ago
The requirements said three words, that’s how know you’re a dev and not a PM pretending to be technical.
MajorasTerribleFate@lemmy.zip 11 months ago
“I write code”
Luvs2Spuj@lemmy.world 11 months ago
My job is bullshit, but my job is not who I am.
rustyfish@piefed.world 11 months ago
Same. I don’t work because I like my stupid ass job. I work because I like everything outside my job and some of these things are in dire need of being financed.
magic_lobster_party@fedia.io 11 months ago
Generate shareholder value
blackris@discuss.tchncs.de 11 months ago
I know it is a shitpost but this fucking fisherman that kills animals and destroys our environment. He is the worst. Fuck you fisherman!
No_Ones_Slick_Like_Gaston@lemmy.world 11 months ago
He also leaves nets in the sea when they tangle, because plastic is cheap and fuck the ocean is their preferred pronoun.
Truscape@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 months ago
“Hey look buddy, I’m an engineer. That means I solve problems.”
BilboBargains@lemmy.world 11 months ago
OPs has distilled his job title from ‘political agitation meme technician’ to ‘shitposter’.
NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I fix things.
Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 11 months ago
I jerk off.
ethaver@kbin.earth 11 months ago
Refreshments and Narcotics
(an old joke about registered nurses)
turdcollector69@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Cum on camera
OF is a real job
Tikiporch@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Saying “I catch fish” is as descriptive as the first guy saying “sales analyst”. Second person is a software developer, second guy is a systems architect. So you catch fish? Sure. What kind? On a river? In the ocean? Do you really just press a button that rolls up a big net full of turtles and dolphins as well and you’re destroying the delicate balance of a fragile ecosystem? Are you a fishing guide?
Anyone can describe their job in three words. Understanding it is on you, man.
psx_crab@lemmy.zip 11 months ago
First one: i analyse sales.
Second one: i automate production
Third one: i’m a fucking idiot
ApertureUA@lemmy.today 11 months ago
It doesn’t fit
blarghly@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Imma fucking idiot
_lilith@lemmy.world 11 months ago
well the job is BS so…
guy@piefed.social 11 months ago
I am idijit
x4740N@lemmy.world 11 months ago
“I’m Stupid” works
Vellaides@lemmy.zip 11 months ago
Fourth one: I murder living beings so humans can eat their corpses
5in1k@lemmy.zip 11 months ago
Nom nom nom.
zxqwas@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Going further with wikipedias article and some of their bullshit jobs listed:
Telemarketing: I sell stuff.
Corporare lawyer: I explain law.
Academic administratrors: I administer students/professors
Compliance officer: I check compliance.
psx_crab@lemmy.zip 11 months ago
Corporate lawyer would be : i’m an asshole