I write code
Radon
Submitted 2 months ago by Ek-Hou-Van-Braai@piefed.social to [deleted]
https://media.piefed.social/posts/zO/K3/zOK3Et78HdokqR1.png
Comments
Olgratin_Magmatoe@slrpnk.net 2 months ago
kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I generate bugs.
dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Honest.
Ek-Hou-Van-Braai@piefed.social 2 months ago
I make programs
Quokka@quokk.au 2 months ago
I make problems
Truscape@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 months ago
Practical problems, solve
drath@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I suck dick
avidamoeba@lemmy.ca 2 months ago
Nice to see you here Mr. President.
VitoRobles@lemmy.today 2 months ago
Ah, it’s nice to meet another fellow customer service rep.
frezik@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 months ago
Is this really the message we want to send?
Yes, our society makes lots of bullshit jobs. That’s because capitalism can only keep people employed by creating bullshit jobs, and unemployed people are six missed meals away from revolution. That is not the fault of the people who have bullshit jobs.
And no, I won’t accept “this is just a shitposting sub, lighten up” as a response. This is just another form of kicking down, and it isn’t funny. The working class needs solidarity, not this.
VitoRobles@lemmy.today 2 months ago
When I saw it, it was posted on sites to mock this thinking.
Yeah, someone believes it to have made this. But yeah, that person sucks.
SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Agreed, but I refuse to extend that acceptance to most consultants.
angstylittlecatboy@reddthat.com 2 months ago
Yeah I really don’t like the “blue collar good tech bad” undertone here
rumschlumpel@feddit.org 2 months ago
Further reading: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullshit_Jobs
Socialism_Everyday@reddthat.com 2 months ago
Yes, our society makes lots of bullshit jobs. That’s because capitalism can only keep people employed by creating bullshit jobs, and unemployed people are six missed meals away from revolution
Couldn’t be further from reality. Capitalist firms actively hire the least amount of people possible, because if they can get away with equal production and lower number of employees, that means higher profit.
Capitalism is actually the only system in human history with unemployment: it wasn’t a thing in hunter-gatherer society, it wasn’t a thing in early agricultural societies, it wasn’t a thing during the times of slavery, it wasn’t a thing during feudalism, and it hasn’t been a thing in any communist nation such as Cuba or the USSR (both guaranteeing jobs to every citizen as a right, and the latter having 10% of all positions vacant from 1970 onward).
Capitalism maintains an unemployed sector of the population because:
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Employing more workers costs more money to firms
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Having high unemployment decreases wages, improving profits of firms
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Having a pool of unemployed people allows firms to spawn, grow and mutate without difficulty of finding workers to do so.
-
merc@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Is this a war on being specific?
If a fisherman says “I operate the winch on a bowpicker tuna fishing boat”, is that a bullshit job?
If a middle-management yes-man who exists only to fluff his boss’ ego describes his job as “I encourage excellence” does that mean his job is no longer bullshit?
alyth@lemmy.world 2 months ago
“I encourage excellence” - Chef Excellence
LumiNocta@lemmy.zip 2 months ago
I guide people
Why is everyone always annoyed at managers?
merc@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
A lot of managers are pretty useless. Some degree of management is needed because you can’t just have 10,000 individual contributors all reporting directly to the CEO. But, a lot of managers get where they are by schmoozing, claiming credit, shifting blame, avoiding responsibility, etc.
Treczoks@lemmy.world 2 months ago
So I either have a bullshit job “I design chips for isosychronous low-latency networks” or a real job “I herd electrons”…
icelimit@lemmy.ml 2 months ago
You do math.
svcg@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 months ago
I write code. ✔️ Real job. I chop down trees. ❌ Bullshit job.
Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz 2 months ago
I jack lumber.
SirQuack@feddit.nl 2 months ago
I jack off
missfrizzle@discuss.tchncs.de 2 months ago
I fell trees!
you can use “fell” as a transitive verb. it’s a little archaic but sounds cozy.
Novamdomum@fedia.io 2 months ago
Extreme physical danger of drowning, hypothermia, severe injury, insane hours, unpredictable income, huge mental and emotional stress in an industry that often damages the environment and is plagued with human rights abuses?
This comic feels like it was written by the fisherman.
ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Or one of those boomers, who really wanted AI to replace all the intellectual workers, so they either can be stay-at-home mothers or go to “real manly jobs”.
phdepressed@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Yeah as if farmers aren’t using gps guidance climate models soil analysis and gmo/selection etc to try and eke out some profit vs the megacorps.
hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 months ago
I’m pretty sure that it was definitely not made by anyone who’s a fisher.
snooggums@piefed.world 2 months ago
This comic looks like it was drawn by the fisherman.
real_squids@sopuli.xyz 2 months ago
Grimy@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I am an aquatic resource acquisition specialist leveraging distributed ecosystem monitoring, real-time biological signal analytics, and manual–mechanical retrieval interfaces to optimize biomass extraction.
P1k1e@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I fix shit
cows_are_underrated@feddit.org 2 months ago
monotremata@lemmy.ca 2 months ago
Rolive@discuss.tchncs.de 2 months ago
Everybody do the flop!
Limonene@lemmy.world 2 months ago
“Refrigerator Wifi Firmware”
3 words, but my job is still bullshit.
bigkahuna1986@lemmy.ml 2 months ago
So you’re the guy responsible for ads? Get him everyone!
Toes@ani.social 2 months ago
You’ve been tagged as fridge ads. 🤭
Rooster326@programming.dev 2 months ago
You are the firmware?
dreadbeef@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 months ago
i make websites
humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Can confirm this works, since fullstack is a real job, but I can’t describe my frontend bullshit in 3 words.
Digit@lemmy.wtf 2 months ago
I make art.
^ real job.
I get disability benefit trapping me in dependence on the system under threat of impoverishment, destitution, starvation, freezing, if i dare ever attempt to do anything productive, or even look like it, or even not. Paid to do nothing.
^ real bullshit job.
Oh what a great system you have there. >:[
hOrni@lemmy.world 2 months ago
“I hate it”. Does this count?
HenriVolney@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Emails and meetings
Karjalan@lemmy.world 2 months ago
You just successfully described 95% of modern office jobs
BotsRuinedEverything@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Make missiles hit.
Objection@lemmy.ml 2 months ago
Maybe don’t.
Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 2 months ago
You’d think that would help but it probably means they just send more missiles and hit more random things around the target.
Psionicsickness@reddthat.com 2 months ago
He’s a fertility doc.
myotheraccount@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I code
_stranger_@lemmy.world 2 months ago
The requirements said three words, that’s how know you’re a dev and not a PM pretending to be technical.
MajorasTerribleFate@lemmy.zip 2 months ago
“I write code”
Luvs2Spuj@lemmy.world 2 months ago
My job is bullshit, but my job is not who I am.
rustyfish@piefed.world 2 months ago
Same. I don’t work because I like my stupid ass job. I work because I like everything outside my job and some of these things are in dire need of being financed.
magic_lobster_party@fedia.io 2 months ago
Generate shareholder value
blackris@discuss.tchncs.de 2 months ago
I know it is a shitpost but this fucking fisherman that kills animals and destroys our environment. He is the worst. Fuck you fisherman!
No_Ones_Slick_Like_Gaston@lemmy.world 2 months ago
He also leaves nets in the sea when they tangle, because plastic is cheap and fuck the ocean is their preferred pronoun.
Truscape@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 months ago
“Hey look buddy, I’m an engineer. That means I solve problems.”
BilboBargains@lemmy.world 2 months ago
OPs has distilled his job title from ‘political agitation meme technician’ to ‘shitposter’.
NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I fix things.
Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 2 months ago
I jerk off.
ethaver@kbin.earth 2 months ago
Refreshments and Narcotics
(an old joke about registered nurses)
turdcollector69@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Cum on camera
OF is a real job
Tikiporch@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Saying “I catch fish” is as descriptive as the first guy saying “sales analyst”. Second person is a software developer, second guy is a systems architect. So you catch fish? Sure. What kind? On a river? In the ocean? Do you really just press a button that rolls up a big net full of turtles and dolphins as well and you’re destroying the delicate balance of a fragile ecosystem? Are you a fishing guide?
Anyone can describe their job in three words. Understanding it is on you, man.
psx_crab@lemmy.zip 2 months ago
First one: i analyse sales.
Second one: i automate production
Third one: i’m a fucking idiot
ApertureUA@lemmy.today 2 months ago
It doesn’t fit
blarghly@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Imma fucking idiot
_lilith@lemmy.world 2 months ago
well the job is BS so…
guy@piefed.social 2 months ago
I am idijit
x4740N@lemmy.world 2 months ago
“I’m Stupid” works
Vellaides@lemmy.zip 2 months ago
Fourth one: I murder living beings so humans can eat their corpses
5in1k@lemmy.zip 2 months ago
Nom nom nom.
zxqwas@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Going further with wikipedias article and some of their bullshit jobs listed:
Telemarketing: I sell stuff.
Corporare lawyer: I explain law.
Academic administratrors: I administer students/professors
Compliance officer: I check compliance.
psx_crab@lemmy.zip 2 months ago
Corporate lawyer would be : i’m an asshole