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How did people poop before smartphones were invented?

⁨241⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨PenisDuckCuck9001@lemmynsfw.com⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

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  • ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    We read the ingredients on shampoo bottles and we liked it!

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    • Fester@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Kids today don’t even know what’s in their shampoo anymore

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      • wjrii@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        I know, right?

        Sodium Laureth Sulfate. Sodium Lauryl Sulfate.

        Laureth. Laurel. Laureth. Lauryl.

        What? Is? The DEAL?

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    • SzethFriendOfNimi@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Bathroom readers, magazines, and Readers digest.

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      • Num10ck@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        chicken soup for the soul

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    • scytale@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Dr. Bronners has enough stuff on it to read for 30 mins.

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      • Gork@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        And it gave you your daily dose of crazy in the pre& Internet age.

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    • Pantsofmagic@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Methylchloroisothiazolonone

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    • Squibbles@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Oops got stuck in another lather, rinse, repeat loop

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  • buycurious@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader!

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    • Nusm@yall.theatl.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Yes! I still have a number of these around here somewhere. They’re old, and many of the articles are out of date, but they’re still enjoyable reads!

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    • TheHarpyEagle@pawb.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Glad to see they’re still making these. Might grab one if the newer ones are any good.

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  • PetteriPano@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Huh, this vegan dog shampoo has not been tested on animals.

    I feel lile that’s the one product they should test on animals so that my dog doesn’t have to be the guinea pig.

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    • MeThisGuy@feddit.nl ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I always thought “tested on animals” meant they would shampoo the dog… which made sense because they have a lot of hair lol

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  • TheHottub@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    We read the backs of shampoo bottles.

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    • punkaccountant@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I fully educated myself about tampon insertion and toxic shock syndrome during trips to the bathroom.

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  • Kolanaki@yiffit.net ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Magazines and newspapers.

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    • MNByChoice@midwest.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Plus catalogs.

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      • bobs_monkey@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        The Sears catalog was multipurpose

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    • jdeath@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      OP: wha- what is a m-m-magazine?

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  • Hikermick@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Magazine racks. Every home had a small one next to the toilet

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  • anonymouse2@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I wiped with a CD instead.

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    • chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Scraaaaaaaaaaape. Ahhhhh.

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      • capt_wolf@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Almost as good as the 3 seashells.

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      • Xylight@lemdro.id ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        i was thinking vertically

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  • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    We used to have words printed on paper (the pressed corpses of trees) called books, magazines, and newspapers. They’d bring one of those.

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    • JamesTBagg@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I’m curious how old OP is. I still keep a book in the bathroom. It’s where I do most of my reading.

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    • thawed_caveman@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Bathroom books are absolutely a thing. My boomer aunt has dozens of Andy Capp booklets.

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      • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        The hot fries guy?

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  • Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Our bathroom door has a built-in magazine rack dating back to the 70s. It holds phones pretty well too.

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    • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      But does it know why kids love the taste of cinnemon toast crunch???

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    • cm0002@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      It holds phones pretty well too.

      Phones can have more than one app installed ya know lol

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      • Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        “Shelf” isn’t one of them, sadly.

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    • Empricorn@feddit.nl ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      “Door”!? I live in a one bedroom, one bathroom apartment, but even I can’t reach a door from the toilet…

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      • Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        In my house the bathroom door’s swing takes up about 1/3rd of the bathroom and the door slams into the toilet when it opens. So if someone (like a cat) swings the door open suddenly while one it pooping, they’re going to walk with a limp for a while.

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  • Vandals_handle@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Farmers Almanac. Used to come with a pre-drilled hole for hanging on a hook in the outhouse.

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  • caboose2006@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Dr. Bronner’s magic soap label

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    • naught101@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I’m middle aged and I’m still only half way through that saga

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  • DudeImMacGyver@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Magazines, books, reading the backs of products, and sometimes people would even use a mirror or two to watch TV on the shitter.

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    • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Image

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    • dan1101@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I used to find some neat patterns in the wood grain on the back of the bathroom door.

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      • DudeImMacGyver@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Classic. There’s the pattern in some ceiling finishes too.

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    • clutchtwopointzero@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      There used to be racks/baskets dedicated to hold magazines in the toilet…

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    • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Wash, rinse, repeat. List of ingredients. Wash rinse repeat

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    • Bytemeister@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Mad magazine, Nat Geo, or if all else fails, back of the shampoo bottle.

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  • mp3@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Good ole Reader"s Digest.

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  • lvxferre@mander.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    We’d look through the bathroom window, there was always something funny going on. Such as packs of velociraptors fighting each other, or a mastodon causing wreck on the neighbour’s garden.

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  • marduk@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Image

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  • daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Spanish people stopped learning greek after smartphones where invented.

    Tap for spoiler

    We used to read shampoo bottles that where usually shipped in Spain with labels in four languages: Spanish, Italian, Portuguese and Greek. So it was always funny to try to see how things were written in greek while pooping.

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    • stelelor@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I used to do that too! But living in Eastern Europe, our shampoo bottles had like twenty languages. I didn’t manage to learn any, but I did develop a sense of how closely related they were.

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  • Dvixen@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Hopefully through their buttholes, not through their fingers and mouths.

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  • tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    series of mirrors displaying the tv in the living room

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  • sinceasdf@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    files.explosm.net/comics/Rob/smartphonez.png

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  • LordCrom@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Take a book with you…or start reading the backs of the cleaning products under the sink

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  • griefreeze@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    We didn’t have to poop back then. The act of pooping was invented by Larry Smartphone, who also happened to invent the smartphone. They were released together originally as a bundle but everyone has both nowadays anyways and you can mix and match.

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  • bandwidthcrisis@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Teletype with an acoustic coupler. You place the handset into the rubber cups that block out the sound, so that the modem noises were clear through the phone line.

    The perforations in modern toilet paper are an homage to the holes in the punched tape used to feed the teletype pre-recorded instructions.

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  • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    We had print media that hadn’t died yet.

    That’s why the boomers are so mad at younger generations. Used to be you could get a newspaper delivered to your porch daily, and magazines delivered to your mailbox monthly.

    Why didn’t they put the newspaper in the mailbox? Because the 12 year old on a bicycle at 4am doesn’t have time for your particular brand of bullshit.

    And now, it’s all on screens that hurt their eyes. My mom LITERALLY turns on airplane mode, and THEN turns it off. Completely off. Just so she can charge it. When I asked why she does that, she told a room of people “because thats how you charge your phone”.

    She then began argueing that airplane mode needs to be on, and THEN power off before you connect the cord. Otherwise you’ll use radios and it doesn’t charge right.

    The entire room, knowing how crazy she was just nodded their head. Yes mom, that IS how you charge your phone and/or tablet. We’re not just saying this because it’s easier to agree with you on something that ultimately is harmless vs argueing with you, with no real benefit on either of our ends.

    But yeah. This is how boomers view technology. And print media is dead. You can only read a shampoo bottle so many times before you realize the word “poo” is in the name “shampoo”, which you’re reading while you poo.

    And thats why boomers are mad.

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    • TexasDrunk@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Why didn’t they put the newspaper in the mailbox? Because the 12 year old on a bicycle at 4am doesn’t have time for your particular brand of bullshit.

      Federal law prohibits anyone from putting materials into a mailbox without postage.

      Otherwise I agree with you.

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      • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Oh shit…I didn’t know that. And it means I unknowingly committed federal crimes when I was 14.

        I used to write these really fucked up letters, addressed to “Satan, or current home owner” with their address on the envelope. But I never put postage on it. I just put it in their mailbox.

        And what I did was took a jar of strawberry jelly, and let it liquify. Then I’d dip my pinky in the liquid and use that as the “ink”. Well on white paper, the whole thing looked like blood. And I would write these nonsensical letters to “Satan Claws”. As if he were Santa, and would spread horror once a year on halloween.

        Keep in mind, the whole letter looked like it was written in blood. Then I’d end the letter by saying “This weeks Pokemon of the week is…” and I’d staple a random picture of a pokemon cut out from Nintendo Power.

        I did this once a week every week through summer break 1998.

        The last letter before school started back up just said “Today was a good day, but now I have to die…” and then a “bloody” handprint. No pokemon.

        After that, I never wrote another letter, but everyday in the 1998-1999 school year, I left an apple in his mailbox every week day. No explaination. Then it ended when summer break 1999 started.

        Thats when we picked a random phone number and prank called it every day in the 1999 summer break until they used the police to trace the number and tried to sue my dad. Thats when the judge noticed my dad was a middle aged white guy, not a 1970s street pimp named JaMarcus. The best part is while they were IN COURT I was at Geauga Lake which was an amusement park. While they were in court, I used a payphone to prank call that number one last time.

        I’d never do that stuff today, but I do laugh at how much of an asshole teenage me was. We never did hear from the guy who we wrote letters to, and left apples for. He may have been amused, or he may have disturbed. We’ll never know.

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    • OpenStars@discuss.online ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Because the 12 year old on a bicycle at 4am doesn’t have time for your particular brand of bullshit.

      For 25¢ an hour, little Jimmy better damn well make the time! Sheesh, kids today have no work ethic. Back in my day, we sacrificed our souls to Lucifer Walmart for no pay or benefits and we liked it, just as Y̷̨̮͇͔̼̘̞̞͓̘̠͒͐̆̈̓̈͋̃̀̂̃̒̃͝à̵̛̬̫͈̟ḩ̶̛͕͈͍̳̩̩͎͈̀̈́͌͂͝͝w̸̡͉͚̞̟͔͕̰̭͙͍̦͛ë̸̡͓̼͔̬͇͖͇̖̟͓́ͅh̷͕̮̭̜̥̟̪̞̺̹̯̻̲̳̗̱̼̃̓̅̿̀̆̇͆̂̃̉͐̓̿͝ intended!

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  • Agent641@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Kids these days dont even know about disassociating lmao

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    • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Nah they do. You see it in lecture halls and speaking events.

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  • Etterra@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Well, before phones made social media conveniently available, people largely had to deposit their shit via telephone, written word, or in person.

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  • MoonRaven@feddit.nl ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Magazines and we read the ingredient list of bottles, like bleech.

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  • SparrowHawk@feddit.it ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    In recent times, by reading. Before that, i think most people pooped faster than we do due to better digestable foods

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    • zloubida@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      And before that, pooping was a social function .

      Image

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      • AA5B@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        They’re not going anymore, they’re sitting there arguing over who has to go get some toilet paper

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  • Lightsong@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    My grandparents had like a basket full of magazines, comic books, etc beside the toilet. It was pretty good. They often buy weekly reader’s digest and stuff like that. So it was usually new every time we visit.

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  • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    you stare at a wall.

    Try it next time.

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    • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Just rawdogging reality.

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      • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        yeah, pretty sure that’s how human life works.

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