How did people poop before smartphones were invented?
Submitted 7 months ago by PenisDuckCuck9001@lemmynsfw.com to [deleted]
Comments
buycurious@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Nusm@yall.theatl.social 7 months ago
Yes! I still have a number of these around here somewhere. They’re old, and many of the articles are out of date, but they’re still enjoyable reads!
TheHarpyEagle@pawb.social 7 months ago
Glad to see they’re still making these. Might grab one if the newer ones are any good.
PetteriPano@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Huh, this vegan dog shampoo has not been tested on animals.
I feel lile that’s the one product they should test on animals so that my dog doesn’t have to be the guinea pig.
MeThisGuy@feddit.nl 7 months ago
I always thought “tested on animals” meant they would shampoo the dog… which made sense because they have a lot of hair lol
TheHottub@lemmy.world 7 months ago
We read the backs of shampoo bottles.
punkaccountant@lemm.ee 7 months ago
I fully educated myself about tampon insertion and toxic shock syndrome during trips to the bathroom.
Kolanaki@yiffit.net 7 months ago
Magazines and newspapers.
MNByChoice@midwest.social 7 months ago
Plus catalogs.
bobs_monkey@lemm.ee 7 months ago
The Sears catalog was multipurpose
jdeath@lemm.ee 7 months ago
OP: wha- what is a m-m-magazine?
Hikermick@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Magazine racks. Every home had a small one next to the toilet
anonymouse2@sh.itjust.works 7 months ago
I wiped with a CD instead.
chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Scraaaaaaaaaaape. Ahhhhh.
capt_wolf@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Almost as good as the 3 seashells.
ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 months ago
We used to have words printed on paper (the pressed corpses of trees) called books, magazines, and newspapers. They’d bring one of those.
JamesTBagg@lemmy.world 7 months ago
I’m curious how old OP is. I still keep a book in the bathroom. It’s where I do most of my reading.
thawed_caveman@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Bathroom books are absolutely a thing. My boomer aunt has dozens of Andy Capp booklets.
ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 months ago
The hot fries guy?
Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 7 months ago
Our bathroom door has a built-in magazine rack dating back to the 70s. It holds phones pretty well too.
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 7 months ago
But does it know why kids love the taste of cinnemon toast crunch???
cm0002@lemmy.world 7 months ago
It holds phones pretty well too.
Phones can have more than one app installed ya know lol
Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 7 months ago
“Shelf” isn’t one of them, sadly.
Empricorn@feddit.nl 7 months ago
“Door”!? I live in a one bedroom, one bathroom apartment, but even I can’t reach a door from the toilet…
Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 7 months ago
In my house the bathroom door’s swing takes up about 1/3rd of the bathroom and the door slams into the toilet when it opens. So if someone (like a cat) swings the door open suddenly while one it pooping, they’re going to walk with a limp for a while.
Vandals_handle@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Farmers Almanac. Used to come with a pre-drilled hole for hanging on a hook in the outhouse.
caboose2006@lemmy.ca 7 months ago
Dr. Bronner’s magic soap label
naught101@lemmy.world 7 months ago
I’m middle aged and I’m still only half way through that saga
DudeImMacGyver@sh.itjust.works 7 months ago
Magazines, books, reading the backs of products, and sometimes people would even use a mirror or two to watch TV on the shitter.
ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 7 months ago
dan1101@lemm.ee 7 months ago
I used to find some neat patterns in the wood grain on the back of the bathroom door.
DudeImMacGyver@sh.itjust.works 7 months ago
Classic. There’s the pattern in some ceiling finishes too.
clutchtwopointzero@lemmy.world 7 months ago
There used to be racks/baskets dedicated to hold magazines in the toilet…
surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Wash, rinse, repeat. List of ingredients. Wash rinse repeat
Bytemeister@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Mad magazine, Nat Geo, or if all else fails, back of the shampoo bottle.
mp3@lemmy.ca 7 months ago
Good ole Reader"s Digest.
lvxferre@mander.xyz 7 months ago
We’d look through the bathroom window, there was always something funny going on. Such as packs of velociraptors fighting each other, or a mastodon causing wreck on the neighbour’s garden.
marduk@lemmy.sdf.org 7 months ago
daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 months ago
Spanish people stopped learning greek after smartphones where invented.
Tap for spoiler
We used to read shampoo bottles that where usually shipped in Spain with labels in four languages: Spanish, Italian, Portuguese and Greek. So it was always funny to try to see how things were written in greek while pooping.
stelelor@lemmy.ca 7 months ago
I used to do that too! But living in Eastern Europe, our shampoo bottles had like twenty languages. I didn’t manage to learn any, but I did develop a sense of how closely related they were.
Dvixen@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Hopefully through their buttholes, not through their fingers and mouths.
tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 7 months ago
series of mirrors displaying the tv in the living room
sinceasdf@lemmy.world 7 months ago
LordCrom@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Take a book with you…or start reading the backs of the cleaning products under the sink
griefreeze@lemmy.world 7 months ago
We didn’t have to poop back then. The act of pooping was invented by Larry Smartphone, who also happened to invent the smartphone. They were released together originally as a bundle but everyone has both nowadays anyways and you can mix and match.
bandwidthcrisis@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Teletype with an acoustic coupler. You place the handset into the rubber cups that block out the sound, so that the modem noises were clear through the phone line.
The perforations in modern toilet paper are an homage to the holes in the punched tape used to feed the teletype pre-recorded instructions.
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 7 months ago
We had print media that hadn’t died yet.
That’s why the boomers are so mad at younger generations. Used to be you could get a newspaper delivered to your porch daily, and magazines delivered to your mailbox monthly.
Why didn’t they put the newspaper in the mailbox? Because the 12 year old on a bicycle at 4am doesn’t have time for your particular brand of bullshit.
And now, it’s all on screens that hurt their eyes. My mom LITERALLY turns on airplane mode, and THEN turns it off. Completely off. Just so she can charge it. When I asked why she does that, she told a room of people “because thats how you charge your phone”.
She then began argueing that airplane mode needs to be on, and THEN power off before you connect the cord. Otherwise you’ll use radios and it doesn’t charge right.
The entire room, knowing how crazy she was just nodded their head. Yes mom, that IS how you charge your phone and/or tablet. We’re not just saying this because it’s easier to agree with you on something that ultimately is harmless vs argueing with you, with no real benefit on either of our ends.
But yeah. This is how boomers view technology. And print media is dead. You can only read a shampoo bottle so many times before you realize the word “poo” is in the name “shampoo”, which you’re reading while you poo.
And thats why boomers are mad.
TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Why didn’t they put the newspaper in the mailbox? Because the 12 year old on a bicycle at 4am doesn’t have time for your particular brand of bullshit.
Federal law prohibits anyone from putting materials into a mailbox without postage.
Otherwise I agree with you.
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Oh shit…I didn’t know that. And it means I unknowingly committed federal crimes when I was 14.
I used to write these really fucked up letters, addressed to “Satan, or current home owner” with their address on the envelope. But I never put postage on it. I just put it in their mailbox.
And what I did was took a jar of strawberry jelly, and let it liquify. Then I’d dip my pinky in the liquid and use that as the “ink”. Well on white paper, the whole thing looked like blood. And I would write these nonsensical letters to “Satan Claws”. As if he were Santa, and would spread horror once a year on halloween.
Keep in mind, the whole letter looked like it was written in blood. Then I’d end the letter by saying “This weeks Pokemon of the week is…” and I’d staple a random picture of a pokemon cut out from Nintendo Power.
I did this once a week every week through summer break 1998.
The last letter before school started back up just said “Today was a good day, but now I have to die…” and then a “bloody” handprint. No pokemon.
After that, I never wrote another letter, but everyday in the 1998-1999 school year, I left an apple in his mailbox every week day. No explaination. Then it ended when summer break 1999 started.
Thats when we picked a random phone number and prank called it every day in the 1999 summer break until they used the police to trace the number and tried to sue my dad. Thats when the judge noticed my dad was a middle aged white guy, not a 1970s street pimp named JaMarcus. The best part is while they were IN COURT I was at Geauga Lake which was an amusement park. While they were in court, I used a payphone to prank call that number one last time.
I’d never do that stuff today, but I do laugh at how much of an asshole teenage me was. We never did hear from the guy who we wrote letters to, and left apples for. He may have been amused, or he may have disturbed. We’ll never know.
OpenStars@discuss.online 7 months ago
Because the 12 year old on a bicycle at 4am doesn’t have time for your particular brand of bullshit.
For 25¢ an hour, little Jimmy better damn well make the time! Sheesh, kids today have no work ethic. Back in my day, we sacrificed our souls to Lucifer Walmart for no pay or benefits and we liked it, just as Y̷̨̮͇͔̼̘̞̞͓̘̠͒͐̆̈̓̈͋̃̀̂̃̒̃͝à̵̛̬̫͈̟ḩ̶̛͕͈͍̳̩̩͎͈̀̈́͌͂͝͝w̸̡͉͚̞̟͔͕̰̭͙͍̦͛ë̸̡͓̼͔̬͇͖͇̖̟͓́ͅh̷͕̮̭̜̥̟̪̞̺̹̯̻̲̳̗̱̼̃̓̅̿̀̆̇͆̂̃̉͐̓̿͝ intended!
Agent641@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Kids these days dont even know about disassociating lmao
ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 7 months ago
Nah they do. You see it in lecture halls and speaking events.
Etterra@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Well, before phones made social media conveniently available, people largely had to deposit their shit via telephone, written word, or in person.
MoonRaven@feddit.nl 7 months ago
Magazines and we read the ingredient list of bottles, like bleech.
SparrowHawk@feddit.it 7 months ago
In recent times, by reading. Before that, i think most people pooped faster than we do due to better digestable foods
zloubida@lemmy.world 7 months ago
AA5B@lemmy.world 7 months ago
They’re not going anymore, they’re sitting there arguing over who has to go get some toilet paper
Lightsong@lemmy.world 7 months ago
My grandparents had like a basket full of magazines, comic books, etc beside the toilet. It was pretty good. They often buy weekly reader’s digest and stuff like that. So it was usually new every time we visit.
KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 months ago
you stare at a wall.
Try it next time.
ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 7 months ago
Just rawdogging reality.
KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 months ago
yeah, pretty sure that’s how human life works.
ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 7 months ago
We read the ingredients on shampoo bottles and we liked it!
Fester@lemm.ee 7 months ago
Kids today don’t even know what’s in their shampoo anymore
wjrii@lemmy.world 7 months ago
I know, right?
Sodium Laureth Sulfate. Sodium Lauryl Sulfate.
Laureth. Laurel. Laureth. Lauryl.
What? Is? The DEAL?
SzethFriendOfNimi@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Bathroom readers, magazines, and Readers digest.
Num10ck@lemmy.world 7 months ago
chicken soup for the soul
scytale@lemm.ee 7 months ago
Dr. Bronners has enough stuff on it to read for 30 mins.
Gork@lemm.ee 7 months ago
And it gave you your daily dose of crazy in the pre& Internet age.
Pantsofmagic@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Methylchloroisothiazolonone
Squibbles@lemmy.ca 7 months ago
Oops got stuck in another lather, rinse, repeat loop