The last time I left sperm packets on the ground I was branded a “pervert” and a “freak” and told to leave the restaurant immediately before they called the police.
Centipedes Don't Fuck
Submitted 2 years ago by fossilesque@mander.xyz to science_memes@mander.xyz
https://mander.xyz/pictrs/image/884eb4b7-5563-46f8-9879-67696e672d62.jpeg
Comments
brap@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Anticorp@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Have you tried growing 98 more legs first?
criticon@lemmy.ca 2 years ago
Or at least 28 more
DasSkelett@discuss.tchncs.de 2 years ago
97
tegs_terry@feddit.uk 2 years ago
I think they always have an odd number of pairs, so 96 or 100.
Zip2@feddit.uk 2 years ago
You need to dress it up as geocaching.
fireweed@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Sooo are centipedes like fruit flies and not engage in any real form of sexual selection, or is the female going around judging the fuck out of every jizz pile she encounters?
“Mmm-mm, look at that poor viscosity; a low-quality male clearly produced this. This one on the other hand: deep color, firm texture, nice and sticky… clearly produced by a male with the superior genes I want to pass along to my offspring.”
flambonkscious@sh.itjust.works 2 years ago
I’m upset no ones chimed in with a really technical breakdown and linked some studies
acetanilide@lemmy.world 2 years ago
I am tempted to research it but I don’t want to be on another list
Xenny@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Centipedes are all perfect beings and need no selection
NormalPerson@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Or just slip in it like a banana peel and boom pregnant
i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca 2 years ago
The DoorDash approach to sexual reproduction. Fantastic.
Sabata11792@ani.social 2 years ago
Oh boy, the jar arrived!
Poots@mander.xyz 2 years ago
And a complementary turkey baster, too!
jenny_ball@lemmy.world 2 years ago
have you seen a centipede? completely unfuckable
absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz 2 years ago
…unless you are a leg man…
occhionaut@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Now im imagining a centipede sticking out fifty pantyhosed legs from around the corner while catcalling its mark.
jabathekek@sopuli.xyz 2 years ago
Woah there buddy, please don’t fetish shame.
nick@midwest.social 2 years ago
Taking “hit it and quit it” to the next level.
Skeet and yeet.
EarthShipTechIntern@lemm.ee 2 years ago
So THAT’S how Vance & his wife have kids: he leaves her some fresh sperm in the couch
Hadriscus@lemm.ee 2 years ago
damn, the lore thickens
voldage@lemmy.world 2 years ago
I was ready for lizard people but bug people is where I draw the line.
nilclass@discuss.tchncs.de 2 years ago
Does this mean jd vance is a centipede?
Squirrelanna@lemmynsfw.com 2 years ago
Good for him that his wife found the packets in the couch.
explodicle@sh.itjust.works 2 years ago
He is also a human.
Squirrelanna@lemmynsfw.com 2 years ago
Debatable
EarthShipTechIntern@lemm.ee 2 years ago
Evidence? Proof?
Pretty sure he signed on for the Putin-pede (his head attached to trump’s rump, trump’s face in Putin’s ass)
EarthShipTechIntern@lemm.ee 2 years ago
Just wrote that. Should have read comments first. Like minds & all.
Apytele@sh.itjust.works 2 years ago
[deleted]roguetrick@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Most cephalopods die after mating. Their sex hormones make them go crazy and they stop looking for food except to eat themselves occasionally. Once the sex hormone glad starts pumping them out, it doesn’t stop until they die a horrible death. Live fast and die young.
DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 2 years ago
I was very excited about humanity killing itself off and letting the superior line of sapience take over until I learned this fact. It’s going to be a bit before the octopi are ready to create a civilization.
bane_killgrind@slrpnk.net 2 years ago
I’ve met people like this
chatokun@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 years ago
You mean you have to choose between a life without sex and a gruesome death? … Tough call.
dumbass@leminal.space 2 years ago
Huh, guess I’m a centipede then.
Disk@sh.itjust.works 2 years ago
what do you mean by this WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THIS
ZoopZeZoop@lemmy.world 2 years ago
I’m assuming he’s male, but no females are collecting his packets.
dumbass@leminal.space 2 years ago
You know what I mean…
MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 2 years ago
Relationship goals.
Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world 2 years ago
So we’re just walking around and stepping on centipede cum?
dutchkimble@lemy.lol 2 years ago
Unless the centipede female are very efficient
Orbituary@lemmy.world 2 years ago
I’ve heard that this is how incels reproduce.
Scrawny@lemm.ee 2 years ago
Don’t pick up crusty socks
TastyWheat@lemmy.world 2 years ago
I’m pretty sure this is how the junkies in my town reproduce.
HawlSera@lemm.ee 2 years ago
That’s…
That’s amazing
Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 2 years ago
The logistics of those legs…
TheReturnOfPEB@reddthat.com 2 years ago
its a skeet world
lil_tank@hexbear.net 2 years ago
Centipedes 🤝 Sperm donors
portuga@lemmy.world 2 years ago
I’m new to this. How can I delete this thread? It’s bringing me nightmares. K thx by
KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 years ago
thank god, i hated those fuckers enough already, if i had known they’d been capable of fucking i think i’d probably be done for by now.
Infamousblt@hexbear.net 2 years ago
I mean have you seen a centipede? I wouldn’t want to hang out either
Anticorp@lemmy.world 2 years ago
This is the world librulz want!
Collatz_problem@hexbear.net 2 years ago
Male fish just cum all over the eggs laid by female fish.
xwolpertinger@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Epitoky/Shizogamy is where it’s really at
we_avoid_temptation@lemmy.zip 2 years ago
Ok now I’m curious about what the fuck the two centipedes I found in my basement that I thought were fucking were actually doing. They sure looked like they were fucking.
rustyfish@lemmy.world 2 years ago
They were wrestling. Go back to bed.
lugal@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 years ago
wrestling 😏
flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz 2 years ago
Maybe they were those queer centipedes that fuck in person. Degenerates
oce@jlai.lu 2 years ago
They do it just for fun! Gross.
Pringles@lemm.ee 2 years ago
Don’t humanize centipedes! That leads to strange and disturbing things…
ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 2 years ago
too late
Image
Too late
Image
Too Late
Image
TOO LATE
centipede morphmoe
PunchingWood@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Image
NABDad@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Someone has already centipedized humans. This is the next step.
the_post_of_tom_joad@sh.itjust.works 2 years ago
I’M DOING MY PART!
AngryishHumanoid@reddthat.com 2 years ago
Just gonna take a quick stroll over to rule34.xxx and see what there is to see…
zqwzzle@lemmy.ca 2 years ago
And three movies that never should have been made.
gueybana@hexbear.net 2 years ago
Gonna put put my dick in a pede
holycrap@lemm.ee 2 years ago
Centipedes see other Centipedes as food, which is why they reproduce this way.
Source: made it up, but it seems logical. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
numberfour002@lemmy.world 2 years ago
A disappointingly large proportion of the general population appears to be unable to tell the difference between centipedes and millipedes. Is it possible that the “centipedes” you saw were actually millipedes? If so, they may have been “fucking”, or at least the millipede equivalent of it.
Additionally, it appears that this “fact” is actually wrong (big surprise, huh?). Many species of centipede do have courtship strategies that involve males and females meeting up. The sexes may even employ various forms of physical touch as part of the process. So, it’s certainly possible that the critters you saw where centipedes courting each other.
we_avoid_temptation@lemmy.zip 2 years ago
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Centipede#/media/File%3AM…
Assuming this is actually representative of the difference, it was definitely a pair of centipedes.
I’m not surprised in the least that at a minimum it’s more complicated than the meme suggests, and now I’ve learned far more about centipedes than I ever wanted to. Thanks!
jenny_ball@lemmy.world 2 years ago
millepedes are gross. centipedes are scary
7bicycles@hexbear.net 2 years ago
maybe they’re just the cuddly-type except for the distancing-fucking
GarbageShoot@hexbear.net 2 years ago
They could have been fighting. Maybe there was a lack of available food or fluid.