The last time I left sperm packets on the ground I was branded a “pervert” and a “freak” and told to leave the restaurant immediately before they called the police.
Centipedes Don't Fuck
Submitted 8 months ago by fossilesque@mander.xyz to science_memes@mander.xyz
https://mander.xyz/pictrs/image/884eb4b7-5563-46f8-9879-67696e672d62.jpeg
Comments
brap@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Anticorp@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Have you tried growing 98 more legs first?
criticon@lemmy.ca 8 months ago
Or at least 28 more
DasSkelett@discuss.tchncs.de 8 months ago
97
tegs_terry@feddit.uk 8 months ago
I think they always have an odd number of pairs, so 96 or 100.
Zip2@feddit.uk 8 months ago
You need to dress it up as geocaching.
fireweed@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Sooo are centipedes like fruit flies and not engage in any real form of sexual selection, or is the female going around judging the fuck out of every jizz pile she encounters?
“Mmm-mm, look at that poor viscosity; a low-quality male clearly produced this. This one on the other hand: deep color, firm texture, nice and sticky… clearly produced by a male with the superior genes I want to pass along to my offspring.”
flambonkscious@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
I’m upset no ones chimed in with a really technical breakdown and linked some studies
acetanilide@lemmy.world 8 months ago
I am tempted to research it but I don’t want to be on another list
Xenny@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Centipedes are all perfect beings and need no selection
NormalPerson@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Or just slip in it like a banana peel and boom pregnant
i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca 8 months ago
The DoorDash approach to sexual reproduction. Fantastic.
Sabata11792@ani.social 8 months ago
Oh boy, the jar arrived!
Poots@mander.xyz 8 months ago
And a complementary turkey baster, too!
jenny_ball@lemmy.world 8 months ago
have you seen a centipede? completely unfuckable
absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz 8 months ago
…unless you are a leg man…
occhionaut@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Now im imagining a centipede sticking out fifty pantyhosed legs from around the corner while catcalling its mark.
jabathekek@sopuli.xyz 8 months ago
Woah there buddy, please don’t fetish shame.
nick@midwest.social 8 months ago
Taking “hit it and quit it” to the next level.
Skeet and yeet.
EarthShipTechIntern@lemm.ee 8 months ago
So THAT’S how Vance & his wife have kids: he leaves her some fresh sperm in the couch
Hadriscus@lemm.ee 8 months ago
damn, the lore thickens
voldage@lemmy.world 8 months ago
I was ready for lizard people but bug people is where I draw the line.
nilclass@discuss.tchncs.de 8 months ago
Does this mean jd vance is a centipede?
Squirrelanna@lemmynsfw.com 8 months ago
Good for him that his wife found the packets in the couch.
explodicle@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
He is also a human.
Squirrelanna@lemmynsfw.com 8 months ago
Debatable
EarthShipTechIntern@lemm.ee 8 months ago
Evidence? Proof?
Pretty sure he signed on for the Putin-pede (his head attached to trump’s rump, trump’s face in Putin’s ass)
EarthShipTechIntern@lemm.ee 8 months ago
Just wrote that. Should have read comments first. Like minds & all.
Apytele@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
[deleted]roguetrick@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Most cephalopods die after mating. Their sex hormones make them go crazy and they stop looking for food except to eat themselves occasionally. Once the sex hormone glad starts pumping them out, it doesn’t stop until they die a horrible death. Live fast and die young.
DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 8 months ago
I was very excited about humanity killing itself off and letting the superior line of sapience take over until I learned this fact. It’s going to be a bit before the octopi are ready to create a civilization.
bane_killgrind@slrpnk.net 8 months ago
I’ve met people like this
chatokun@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 months ago
You mean you have to choose between a life without sex and a gruesome death? … Tough call.
dumbass@leminal.space 8 months ago
Huh, guess I’m a centipede then.
Disk@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
what do you mean by this WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THIS
ZoopZeZoop@lemmy.world 8 months ago
I’m assuming he’s male, but no females are collecting his packets.
dumbass@leminal.space 8 months ago
You know what I mean…
MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
Relationship goals.
Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world 8 months ago
So we’re just walking around and stepping on centipede cum?
dutchkimble@lemy.lol 8 months ago
Unless the centipede female are very efficient
Orbituary@lemmy.world 8 months ago
I’ve heard that this is how incels reproduce.
Scrawny@lemm.ee 8 months ago
Don’t pick up crusty socks
TastyWheat@lemmy.world 8 months ago
I’m pretty sure this is how the junkies in my town reproduce.
HawlSera@lemm.ee 8 months ago
That’s…
That’s amazing
Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 8 months ago
The logistics of those legs…
TheReturnOfPEB@reddthat.com 8 months ago
its a skeet world
lil_tank@hexbear.net 8 months ago
Centipedes 🤝 Sperm donors
portuga@lemmy.world 8 months ago
I’m new to this. How can I delete this thread? It’s bringing me nightmares. K thx by
KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 months ago
thank god, i hated those fuckers enough already, if i had known they’d been capable of fucking i think i’d probably be done for by now.
Infamousblt@hexbear.net 8 months ago
I mean have you seen a centipede? I wouldn’t want to hang out either
Anticorp@lemmy.world 8 months ago
This is the world librulz want!
Collatz_problem@hexbear.net 8 months ago
Male fish just cum all over the eggs laid by female fish.
xwolpertinger@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Epitoky/Shizogamy is where it’s really at
we_avoid_temptation@lemmy.zip 8 months ago
Ok now I’m curious about what the fuck the two centipedes I found in my basement that I thought were fucking were actually doing. They sure looked like they were fucking.
rustyfish@lemmy.world 8 months ago
They were wrestling. Go back to bed.
lugal@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 months ago
wrestling 😏
flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz 8 months ago
Maybe they were those queer centipedes that fuck in person. Degenerates
oce@jlai.lu 8 months ago
They do it just for fun! Gross.
Pringles@lemm.ee 8 months ago
Don’t humanize centipedes! That leads to strange and disturbing things…
ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 8 months ago
too late
Image
Too late
Image
Too Late
Image
TOO LATE
centipede morphmoe
PunchingWood@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Image
NABDad@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Someone has already centipedized humans. This is the next step.
the_post_of_tom_joad@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
I’M DOING MY PART!
AngryishHumanoid@reddthat.com 8 months ago
Just gonna take a quick stroll over to rule34.xxx and see what there is to see…
zqwzzle@lemmy.ca 8 months ago
And three movies that never should have been made.
gueybana@hexbear.net 8 months ago
Gonna put put my dick in a pede
holycrap@lemm.ee 8 months ago
Centipedes see other Centipedes as food, which is why they reproduce this way.
Source: made it up, but it seems logical. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
numberfour002@lemmy.world 8 months ago
A disappointingly large proportion of the general population appears to be unable to tell the difference between centipedes and millipedes. Is it possible that the “centipedes” you saw were actually millipedes? If so, they may have been “fucking”, or at least the millipede equivalent of it.
Additionally, it appears that this “fact” is actually wrong (big surprise, huh?). Many species of centipede do have courtship strategies that involve males and females meeting up. The sexes may even employ various forms of physical touch as part of the process. So, it’s certainly possible that the critters you saw where centipedes courting each other.
we_avoid_temptation@lemmy.zip 8 months ago
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Centipede#/media/File%3AM…
Assuming this is actually representative of the difference, it was definitely a pair of centipedes.
I’m not surprised in the least that at a minimum it’s more complicated than the meme suggests, and now I’ve learned far more about centipedes than I ever wanted to. Thanks!
jenny_ball@lemmy.world 8 months ago
millepedes are gross. centipedes are scary
7bicycles@hexbear.net 8 months ago
maybe they’re just the cuddly-type except for the distancing-fucking
GarbageShoot@hexbear.net 8 months ago
They could have been fighting. Maybe there was a lack of available food or fluid.