The last time I left sperm packets on the ground I was branded a “pervert” and a “freak” and told to leave the restaurant immediately before they called the police.
Centipedes Don't Fuck
Submitted 1 year ago by fossilesque@mander.xyz to science_memes@mander.xyz
https://mander.xyz/pictrs/image/884eb4b7-5563-46f8-9879-67696e672d62.jpeg
Comments
brap@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Anticorp@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Have you tried growing 98 more legs first?
criticon@lemmy.ca 1 year ago
Or at least 28 more
DasSkelett@discuss.tchncs.de 1 year ago
97
tegs_terry@feddit.uk 1 year ago
I think they always have an odd number of pairs, so 96 or 100.
Zip2@feddit.uk 1 year ago
You need to dress it up as geocaching.
fireweed@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Sooo are centipedes like fruit flies and not engage in any real form of sexual selection, or is the female going around judging the fuck out of every jizz pile she encounters?
“Mmm-mm, look at that poor viscosity; a low-quality male clearly produced this. This one on the other hand: deep color, firm texture, nice and sticky… clearly produced by a male with the superior genes I want to pass along to my offspring.”
flambonkscious@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
I’m upset no ones chimed in with a really technical breakdown and linked some studies
acetanilide@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I am tempted to research it but I don’t want to be on another list
Xenny@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Centipedes are all perfect beings and need no selection
NormalPerson@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Or just slip in it like a banana peel and boom pregnant
i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca 1 year ago
The DoorDash approach to sexual reproduction. Fantastic.
Sabata11792@ani.social 1 year ago
Oh boy, the jar arrived!
Poots@mander.xyz 1 year ago
And a complementary turkey baster, too!
jenny_ball@lemmy.world 1 year ago
have you seen a centipede? completely unfuckable
absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz 1 year ago
…unless you are a leg man…
occhionaut@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Now im imagining a centipede sticking out fifty pantyhosed legs from around the corner while catcalling its mark.
jabathekek@sopuli.xyz 1 year ago
Woah there buddy, please don’t fetish shame.
nick@midwest.social 1 year ago
Taking “hit it and quit it” to the next level.
Skeet and yeet.
EarthShipTechIntern@lemm.ee 1 year ago
So THAT’S how Vance & his wife have kids: he leaves her some fresh sperm in the couch
Hadriscus@lemm.ee 1 year ago
damn, the lore thickens
voldage@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I was ready for lizard people but bug people is where I draw the line.
nilclass@discuss.tchncs.de 1 year ago
Does this mean jd vance is a centipede?
Squirrelanna@lemmynsfw.com 1 year ago
Good for him that his wife found the packets in the couch.
explodicle@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
He is also a human.
Squirrelanna@lemmynsfw.com 1 year ago
Debatable
EarthShipTechIntern@lemm.ee 1 year ago
Evidence? Proof?
Pretty sure he signed on for the Putin-pede (his head attached to trump’s rump, trump’s face in Putin’s ass)
EarthShipTechIntern@lemm.ee 1 year ago
Just wrote that. Should have read comments first. Like minds & all.
Apytele@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
[deleted]roguetrick@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Most cephalopods die after mating. Their sex hormones make them go crazy and they stop looking for food except to eat themselves occasionally. Once the sex hormone glad starts pumping them out, it doesn’t stop until they die a horrible death. Live fast and die young.
DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 1 year ago
I was very excited about humanity killing itself off and letting the superior line of sapience take over until I learned this fact. It’s going to be a bit before the octopi are ready to create a civilization.
bane_killgrind@slrpnk.net 1 year ago
I’ve met people like this
chatokun@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 year ago
You mean you have to choose between a life without sex and a gruesome death? … Tough call.
dumbass@leminal.space 1 year ago
Huh, guess I’m a centipede then.
Disk@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
what do you mean by this WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THIS
ZoopZeZoop@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I’m assuming he’s male, but no females are collecting his packets.
dumbass@leminal.space 1 year ago
You know what I mean…
MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
Relationship goals.
Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world 1 year ago
So we’re just walking around and stepping on centipede cum?
dutchkimble@lemy.lol 1 year ago
Unless the centipede female are very efficient
Orbituary@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I’ve heard that this is how incels reproduce.
Scrawny@lemm.ee 1 year ago
Don’t pick up crusty socks
TastyWheat@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I’m pretty sure this is how the junkies in my town reproduce.
HawlSera@lemm.ee 1 year ago
That’s…
That’s amazing
TheReturnOfPEB@reddthat.com 1 year ago
its a skeet world
lil_tank@hexbear.net 1 year ago
Centipedes 🤝 Sperm donors
portuga@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I’m new to this. How can I delete this thread? It’s bringing me nightmares. K thx by
KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 year ago
thank god, i hated those fuckers enough already, if i had known they’d been capable of fucking i think i’d probably be done for by now.
Infamousblt@hexbear.net 1 year ago
I mean have you seen a centipede? I wouldn’t want to hang out either
Anticorp@lemmy.world 1 year ago
This is the world librulz want!
Collatz_problem@hexbear.net 1 year ago
Male fish just cum all over the eggs laid by female fish.
xwolpertinger@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Epitoky/Shizogamy is where it’s really at
we_avoid_temptation@lemmy.zip 1 year ago
Ok now I’m curious about what the fuck the two centipedes I found in my basement that I thought were fucking were actually doing. They sure looked like they were fucking.
rustyfish@lemmy.world 1 year ago
They were wrestling. Go back to bed.
lugal@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 year ago
wrestling 😏
flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz 1 year ago
Maybe they were those queer centipedes that fuck in person. Degenerates
oce@jlai.lu 1 year ago
They do it just for fun! Gross.
Pringles@lemm.ee 1 year ago
Don’t humanize centipedes! That leads to strange and disturbing things…
ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 1 year ago
too late
Image
Too late
Image
Too Late
Image
TOO LATE
centipede morphmoe
PunchingWood@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Image
NABDad@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Someone has already centipedized humans. This is the next step.
the_post_of_tom_joad@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
I’M DOING MY PART!
AngryishHumanoid@reddthat.com 1 year ago
Just gonna take a quick stroll over to rule34.xxx and see what there is to see…
zqwzzle@lemmy.ca 1 year ago
And three movies that never should have been made.
gueybana@hexbear.net 1 year ago
Gonna put put my dick in a pede
holycrap@lemm.ee 1 year ago
Centipedes see other Centipedes as food, which is why they reproduce this way.
Source: made it up, but it seems logical. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
numberfour002@lemmy.world 1 year ago
A disappointingly large proportion of the general population appears to be unable to tell the difference between centipedes and millipedes. Is it possible that the “centipedes” you saw were actually millipedes? If so, they may have been “fucking”, or at least the millipede equivalent of it.
Additionally, it appears that this “fact” is actually wrong (big surprise, huh?). Many species of centipede do have courtship strategies that involve males and females meeting up. The sexes may even employ various forms of physical touch as part of the process. So, it’s certainly possible that the critters you saw where centipedes courting each other.
we_avoid_temptation@lemmy.zip 1 year ago
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Centipede#/media/File%3AM…
Assuming this is actually representative of the difference, it was definitely a pair of centipedes.
I’m not surprised in the least that at a minimum it’s more complicated than the meme suggests, and now I’ve learned far more about centipedes than I ever wanted to. Thanks!
jenny_ball@lemmy.world 1 year ago
millepedes are gross. centipedes are scary
7bicycles@hexbear.net 1 year ago
maybe they’re just the cuddly-type except for the distancing-fucking
GarbageShoot@hexbear.net 1 year ago
They could have been fighting. Maybe there was a lack of available food or fluid.