I’m going with the classic:
Pringles can
Gloves
Sponge
Anon wants to play a game
Submitted 4 months ago by MacNCheezus@lemmy.today to greentext@sh.itjust.works
https://lemmy.today/pictrs/image/ad4de993-f795-4739-98a3-4945dc1cc3d7.jpeg
Comments
programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 months ago
bobs_monkey@lemm.ee 4 months ago
Going in dry I see
zalgotext@sh.itjust.works 4 months ago
Once you pop, the fun don’t stop. Shit’s getting chafed up in this bitch
Fullyloadedsnowflake@lazysoci.al 4 months ago
Webcam, cactus and KY
thenextguy@lemmy.world 4 months ago
You can’t buy Kentucky at Walmart.
alester82@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Oh, I thought they sold it by the Florida ounce
Fullyloadedsnowflake@lazysoci.al 4 months ago
I hope you are trying to be slick
TheOakTree@lemm.ee 4 months ago
How to end up on a watchlist:
Pressure cooker, nails, burner phone
perviouslyiner@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Casio FW-91 watch, soldering iron, electronics wire.
tetris11@lemmy.ml 4 months ago
You’re going to hang up balloons and cook a homemade meal for your SO on their birthday, and surprise them with a new phone
Kolanaki@yiffit.net 4 months ago
Kid’s backpack, kid’s lunchbox, and a gun.
BigDaddySlim@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Flax_vert@feddit.uk 4 months ago
Put the gun in the lunchbox and the lunchbox in the backpack
masterofn001@lemmy.ca 4 months ago
Gun, bleach, get well card.
Fullyloadedsnowflake@lazysoci.al 4 months ago
I think some of you have never been to Walmart and give the employees way too much credit in the intelligence department
Theharpyeagle@lemmy.world 4 months ago
I mean it’s more likely that they just don’t give a shit anymore.
merc@sh.itjust.works 4 months ago
Yeah, your weird items are probably not even the weirdest the cashier has seen today. And the cashiers are probably barely paying attention to what the items are anyway. They just don’t care. They scan the item, the machine beeps, so they put it on the belt. I bet 90% of the time if you asked a cashier what the last item they scanned was, they wouldn’t have any idea.
Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 4 months ago
Do you feel good being so vastly intellectually superior to those dumb fucks serving you? Must be awesome 😊
Fullyloadedsnowflake@lazysoci.al 4 months ago
You are damn right. I like to spit on them, then throw handfuls of pennies to watch the tards scramble
Fedegenerate@lemmynsfw.com 4 months ago
Mop, wire coat hanger, pregnancy test.
Dudewitbow@lemmy.zip 4 months ago
bleach, ammonia based cleaner, mixing container.
uh oh, accidental chloramine gas bomb
ryannathans@aussie.zone 4 months ago
Why doesn’t this happen when I piss in bleach
roguetrick@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Brother if you’re pissing straight ammonia you’ve got other problems. Your body specifically coverts ammonia to urea because it’s toxic to you and it’s usually bacteria.
5oap10116@lemmy.world 4 months ago
It’s diluted
lennivelkant@discuss.tchncs.de 4 months ago
Why do you piss in bleach?
moody@lemmings.world 4 months ago
It does happen, you just don’t get that much of a reaction because it’s diluted. You definitely don’t want to stick around the fumes that it gives off though.
don@lemm.ee 4 months ago
KY
inside out glove
couch
ValorieAF@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Ah the old JD Vance
pineapplelover@lemm.ee 4 months ago
What’s a KY?
don@lemm.ee 4 months ago
Lube
zalgotext@sh.itjust.works 4 months ago
Kentucky
SGG@lemmy.world 4 months ago
The easy-way-to-end-up-with-a-police-visit classic:
-
Plan B pill
-
Giant “9” balloon
-
Vodka.
JameUwU@lemmy.ml 4 months ago
[deleted]SGG@lemmy.world 4 months ago
It’s what some people will pickup before going to a house and getting a surprise visit from Chris Hansen.
-
Flax_vert@feddit.uk 4 months ago
Gun, ammunition, balaclava
Threeme2189@sh.itjust.works 4 months ago
Gun ammunition, baklava
InEnduringGrowStrong@sh.itjust.works 4 months ago
Hmmm, a baklava gun.
Now I want some of that sweet full-auto pastry goodness.Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone 4 months ago
Last meal
GratefullyGodless@lemmy.world 4 months ago
This depends on the color of your skin. Anything darker than a farmer’s tan and she’s probably calling her manager over, but otherwise she probably won’t bat an eye.
Flax_vert@feddit.uk 4 months ago
Here, terrorists in balaclavas are stereotypically white
Fullyloadedsnowflake@lazysoci.al 4 months ago
You ain’t never been hunting have you
Jiggle_Physics@lemmy.world 4 months ago
I once bought 50 cans of butane. That caused a stir. Managers got involved, I was asked a whole bunch of questions about what I was doing, it was annoying.
ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 4 months ago
I painted my skoolie (used school bus converted to a motor home) with about sixty cans of Rustoleum. It was annoying as fuck trying to buy the stuff at Home Depot. Like, I’m going to go tagging with fucking Antique White spray paint?
Fullyloadedsnowflake@lazysoci.al 4 months ago
More like huff yourself to death
Aabbcc@lemm.ee 4 months ago
What WERE you doing?
Jiggle_Physics@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Making drugs, and graffiti
Maggoty@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Car battery
Jumper cables
Duct tape
If you get a bonus then bleach, lye, or tarp rounds it out. Have fun talking to the local police!
Fullyloadedsnowflake@lazysoci.al 4 months ago
None of this would attract attention, this is what you would buy to work on an old car. You don’t get out much do you? 🤣
Maggoty@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Are you working on the car or doing a patch job until you can work on the car?
Comment105@lemm.ee 4 months ago
Went out once to buy movie tickets, get back to the old big screen to experience it properly again. But it was very noisy and busy so it was more than enough with just the one time.
jagungal@lemmy.world 4 months ago
I’d go for jumpers, tape, and a tarp. Using the car battery makes it seem like your car battery died. Rope would also make it creepy.
GratefullyGodless@lemmy.world 4 months ago
That’s also all stuff you can use while working on your vehicle.
Darkassassin07@lemmy.ca 4 months ago
I can never remember; is it the left or right nipple that goes to battery positive??
Etterra@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Whiskey, hammer, baby rattle.
tetris11@lemmy.ml 4 months ago
You’re going to surprise some friends with a newborn with a custom baby rattle made from an empty whiskey bottle and the handle of a hammer. Very chique
MeatPilot@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Sodium Hydroxide, hacksaw, goggles
PenisDuckCuck9001@lemmynsfw.com 4 months ago
In the era of ai and facial recognition, this is the only one so far that seems like it could plausibly get you a knock on the door from law enforcement. Good job.
Kowowow@lemmy.ca 4 months ago
Chlorine, ammonia and a large plastic tub
Mycatiskai@lemmy.ca 4 months ago
Shovel, biodegradable garbage bags and zip ties.
tetris11@lemmy.ml 4 months ago
You’re going to clean up a beach with some friends? How thoughtful of you!
EveningPancakes@lemm.ee 4 months ago
They’re only biodegradable when exposed to the sun.
Mycatiskai@lemmy.ca 4 months ago
So you are saying to only use the bag for transport. Leave the bags out in the sun afterwards.
Upperhand@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Rope, duck tape, and a tarp.
Sir_Fridge@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Small plastic bags, rubber bands and viagra. (does Walmart sell viagra?)
NuWuX@sh.itjust.works 4 months ago
A gallon of blood, tampons, and a Popsicle kit.
Takios@discuss.tchncs.de 4 months ago
What Walmart sells blood?!
NuWuX@sh.itjust.works 4 months ago
Ask for it special from the deli/meat section or settle for the fake stuff during Halloween, I guess? 🤷🏻
Jiggle_Physics@lemmy.world 4 months ago
some sell blood in the meat department. This is only likely to be found in a place with a big population that uses it, commonly, in cooking.
MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 4 months ago
Username checks out
dohpaz42@lemmy.world 4 months ago
I’m very disappointed. I couldn’t find any cardboard tubes at my local Walmart.
Anyway:
- Cardboard tube, at least 3” in diameter
- Gerbil food
- Candlesticks
swab148@lemm.ee 4 months ago
Check in the party section, over by the office supplies. Wrapping paper makes great cardboard tubes.
Source: I, uh… saw it in a movie, yeah
dohpaz42@lemmy.world 4 months ago
The hero we deserve!
bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 4 months ago
Toaster, bathtub plug, pop tarts
NegativeInf@lemmy.world 4 months ago
“The 100 piece puzzles were too hard…”
Eiri@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Screws, hammer, sledgehammer
Grayox@lemmy.ml 4 months ago
Apples, razor blades, carmel
zigmus64@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Gatorade Pregnancy tests Plan B
hOrni@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Couch, lube, a Barry White album.
AeonFelis@lemmy.world 4 months ago
- Frozen pizza
- Baking sheets
- Sliced pineapple
Michal@programming.dev 4 months ago
Duct tape, Rope, newspaper
CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social 4 months ago
As a former cashier (grocery store not walmart admittedly, but I doubt things are that different), I dont think weird uses for the items are the way to go, the cashier is barely even going to notice or care what you’re buying. what I bring to freak out the cashier, are some item that needs ID to buy, some big heavy item with the barcode removed so that it will take a bunch of lifting and turning in a hopeless effort to find it before someone eventually has to go find another one and bring it over, and a propane refill if walmart does those (at my grocery store the process to go find a full one was a pain, especially in the winter since they were outside). Further, I try to buy these items with the help of a ton of expired and unexpired coupons mixed together, several gift cards, and a stubborn half-deaf old person who wont take no for an answer.
Mpatch@lemmy.world 4 months ago
You are a fucking monster. The point of this was to have some laughs not cause a poor walmart employee to beat their spouse or off them selves. Damn you’re cruel.
CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social 4 months ago
Hey, it could always get worse. I could also specify that these items are purchased on a Sunday that a locally favored football team happens to be playing a game, during the rush of people buying snacks and soda.
Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 4 months ago
Would it be more or less frustrating if instead of an old person, it’s a middle aged person who clearly doesn’t understand the language but keeps smiling and nodding as if you’re on the same page and any time you try to prompt for information, they encouragingly push their items towards you or try to pay you in a currency you don’t recognize?
CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social 4 months ago
A bit less, partly because it’s easier to be sympathetic to those people, and partly because, in my experience, it can be helped by getting out google translate on one’s phone, if one can figure out which language it is
TachyonTele@lemm.ee 4 months ago
How make a cashier consider on the job suicide
EvolvedTurtle@lemmy.world 4 months ago
What aisle has the half-dead old person