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Anon wants to play a game

⁨1028⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨MacNCheezus@lemmy.today⁩ to ⁨greentext@sh.itjust.works⁩

https://lemmy.today/pictrs/image/ad4de993-f795-4739-98a3-4945dc1cc3d7.jpeg

source

Comments

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  • CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    As a former cashier (grocery store not walmart admittedly, but I doubt things are that different), I dont think weird uses for the items are the way to go, the cashier is barely even going to notice or care what you’re buying. what I bring to freak out the cashier, are some item that needs ID to buy, some big heavy item with the barcode removed so that it will take a bunch of lifting and turning in a hopeless effort to find it before someone eventually has to go find another one and bring it over, and a propane refill if walmart does those (at my grocery store the process to go find a full one was a pain, especially in the winter since they were outside). Further, I try to buy these items with the help of a ton of expired and unexpired coupons mixed together, several gift cards, and a stubborn half-deaf old person who wont take no for an answer.

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    • Mpatch@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      You are a fucking monster. The point of this was to have some laughs not cause a poor walmart employee to beat their spouse or off them selves. Damn you’re cruel.

      source
      • CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Hey, it could always get worse. I could also specify that these items are purchased on a Sunday that a locally favored football team happens to be playing a game, during the rush of people buying snacks and soda.

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    • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Would it be more or less frustrating if instead of an old person, it’s a middle aged person who clearly doesn’t understand the language but keeps smiling and nodding as if you’re on the same page and any time you try to prompt for information, they encouragingly push their items towards you or try to pay you in a currency you don’t recognize?

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      • CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        A bit less, partly because it’s easier to be sympathetic to those people, and partly because, in my experience, it can be helped by getting out google translate on one’s phone, if one can figure out which language it is

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    • TachyonTele@lemm.ee ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      How make a cashier consider on the job suicide

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    • EvolvedTurtle@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      What aisle has the half-dead old person

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  • programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I’m going with the classic:

    Pringles can

    Gloves

    Sponge

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    • bobs_monkey@lemm.ee ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Going in dry I see

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      • zalgotext@sh.itjust.works ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Once you pop, the fun don’t stop. Shit’s getting chafed up in this bitch

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  • Fullyloadedsnowflake@lazysoci.al ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Webcam, cactus and KY

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    • thenextguy@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      You can’t buy Kentucky at Walmart.

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      • alester82@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Oh, I thought they sold it by the Florida ounce

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      • Fullyloadedsnowflake@lazysoci.al ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        I hope you are trying to be slick

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  • TheOakTree@lemm.ee ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    How to end up on a watchlist:

    Pressure cooker, nails, burner phone

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    • perviouslyiner@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Casio FW-91 watch, soldering iron, electronics wire.

      source
    • tetris11@lemmy.ml ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      You’re going to hang up balloons and cook a homemade meal for your SO on their birthday, and surprise them with a new phone

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  • Kolanaki@yiffit.net ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Kid’s backpack, kid’s lunchbox, and a gun.

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    • BigDaddySlim@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Image

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    • Flax_vert@feddit.uk ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Put the gun in the lunchbox and the lunchbox in the backpack

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  • masterofn001@lemmy.ca ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Gun, bleach, get well card.

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  • Fullyloadedsnowflake@lazysoci.al ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I think some of you have never been to Walmart and give the employees way too much credit in the intelligence department

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    • Theharpyeagle@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I mean it’s more likely that they just don’t give a shit anymore.

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      • merc@sh.itjust.works ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Yeah, your weird items are probably not even the weirdest the cashier has seen today. And the cashiers are probably barely paying attention to what the items are anyway. They just don’t care. They scan the item, the machine beeps, so they put it on the belt. I bet 90% of the time if you asked a cashier what the last item they scanned was, they wouldn’t have any idea.

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    • Dyskolos@lemmy.zip ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Do you feel good being so vastly intellectually superior to those dumb fucks serving you? Must be awesome 😊

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      • Fullyloadedsnowflake@lazysoci.al ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        You are damn right. I like to spit on them, then throw handfuls of pennies to watch the tards scramble

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  • Fedegenerate@lemmynsfw.com ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Mop, wire coat hanger, pregnancy test.

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  • Dudewitbow@lemmy.zip ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    bleach, ammonia based cleaner, mixing container.

    uh oh, accidental chloramine gas bomb

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    • ryannathans@aussie.zone ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Why doesn’t this happen when I piss in bleach

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      • roguetrick@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Brother if you’re pissing straight ammonia you’ve got other problems. Your body specifically coverts ammonia to urea because it’s toxic to you and it’s usually bacteria.

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      • 5oap10116@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        It’s diluted

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      • lennivelkant@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Why do you piss in bleach?

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      • moody@lemmings.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        It does happen, you just don’t get that much of a reaction because it’s diluted. You definitely don’t want to stick around the fumes that it gives off though.

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  • SGG@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    The easy-way-to-end-up-with-a-police-visit classic:

    1. Plan B pill

    2. Giant “9” balloon

    3. Vodka.

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    • JameUwU@lemmy.ml ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
      [deleted]
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      • SGG@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        It’s what some people will pickup before going to a house and getting a surprise visit from Chris Hansen.

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  • don@lemm.ee ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    KY

    inside out glove

    couch

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    • pineapplelover@lemm.ee ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      What’s a KY?

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      • don@lemm.ee ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Lube

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      • zalgotext@sh.itjust.works ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Kentucky

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  • Flax_vert@feddit.uk ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Gun, ammunition, balaclava

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    • Threeme2189@sh.itjust.works ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Gun ammunition, baklava

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      • InEnduringGrowStrong@sh.itjust.works ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Hmmm, a baklava gun.
        Now I want some of that sweet full-auto pastry goodness.

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      • Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Last meal

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    • GratefullyGodless@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      This depends on the color of your skin. Anything darker than a farmer’s tan and she’s probably calling her manager over, but otherwise she probably won’t bat an eye.

      source
      • Flax_vert@feddit.uk ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Here, terrorists in balaclavas are stereotypically white

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    • Fullyloadedsnowflake@lazysoci.al ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      You ain’t never been hunting have you

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  • Jiggle_Physics@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I once bought 50 cans of butane. That caused a stir. Managers got involved, I was asked a whole bunch of questions about what I was doing, it was annoying.

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    • ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I painted my skoolie (used school bus converted to a motor home) with about sixty cans of Rustoleum. It was annoying as fuck trying to buy the stuff at Home Depot. Like, I’m going to go tagging with fucking Antique White spray paint?

      source
      • Fullyloadedsnowflake@lazysoci.al ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        More like huff yourself to death

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    • Aabbcc@lemm.ee ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      What WERE you doing?

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      • Jiggle_Physics@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Making drugs, and graffiti

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  • Maggoty@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Car battery

    Jumper cables

    Duct tape

    If you get a bonus then bleach, lye, or tarp rounds it out. Have fun talking to the local police!

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    • Fullyloadedsnowflake@lazysoci.al ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      None of this would attract attention, this is what you would buy to work on an old car. You don’t get out much do you? 🤣

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      • Maggoty@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Are you working on the car or doing a patch job until you can work on the car?

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      • Comment105@lemm.ee ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Went out once to buy movie tickets, get back to the old big screen to experience it properly again. But it was very noisy and busy so it was more than enough with just the one time.

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    • jagungal@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I’d go for jumpers, tape, and a tarp. Using the car battery makes it seem like your car battery died. Rope would also make it creepy.

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      • GratefullyGodless@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        That’s also all stuff you can use while working on your vehicle.

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    • Darkassassin07@lemmy.ca ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I can never remember; is it the left or right nipple that goes to battery positive??

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  • Etterra@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Whiskey, hammer, baby rattle.

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    • tetris11@lemmy.ml ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      You’re going to surprise some friends with a newborn with a custom baby rattle made from an empty whiskey bottle and the handle of a hammer. Very chique

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  • MeatPilot@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Sodium Hydroxide, hacksaw, goggles

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    • PenisDuckCuck9001@lemmynsfw.com ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      In the era of ai and facial recognition, this is the only one so far that seems like it could plausibly get you a knock on the door from law enforcement. Good job.

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  • Kowowow@lemmy.ca ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Chlorine, ammonia and a large plastic tub

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  • Mycatiskai@lemmy.ca ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Shovel, biodegradable garbage bags and zip ties.

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    • tetris11@lemmy.ml ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      You’re going to clean up a beach with some friends? How thoughtful of you!

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    • EveningPancakes@lemm.ee ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      They’re only biodegradable when exposed to the sun.

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      • Mycatiskai@lemmy.ca ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        So you are saying to only use the bag for transport. Leave the bags out in the sun afterwards.

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  • Upperhand@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Rope, duck tape, and a tarp.

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  • bionicjoey@lemmy.ca ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Toaster, bathtub plug, pop tarts

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  • Sir_Fridge@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Small plastic bags, rubber bands and viagra. (does Walmart sell viagra?)

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  • NuWuX@sh.itjust.works ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    A gallon of blood, tampons, and a Popsicle kit.

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    • Takios@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      What Walmart sells blood?!

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      • NuWuX@sh.itjust.works ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Ask for it special from the deli/meat section or settle for the fake stuff during Halloween, I guess? 🤷🏻

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      • Jiggle_Physics@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        some sell blood in the meat department. This is only likely to be found in a place with a big population that uses it, commonly, in cooking.

        source
    • MacNCheezus@lemmy.today ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Username checks out

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  • dohpaz42@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I’m very disappointed. I couldn’t find any cardboard tubes at my local Walmart.

    Anyway:

    1. Cardboard tube, at least 3” in diameter
    2. Gerbil food
    3. Candlesticks
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    • swab148@lemm.ee ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Check in the party section, over by the office supplies. Wrapping paper makes great cardboard tubes.

      Source: I, uh… saw it in a movie, yeah

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      • dohpaz42@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        The hero we deserve!

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  • NegativeInf@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    “The 100 piece puzzles were too hard…”

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  • Eiri@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Screws, hammer, sledgehammer

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  • Grayox@lemmy.ml ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Apples, razor blades, carmel

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  • zigmus64@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Gatorade Pregnancy tests Plan B

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  • hOrni@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Couch, lube, a Barry White album.

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  • AeonFelis@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    1. Frozen pizza
    2. Baking sheets
    3. Sliced pineapple
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  • Michal@programming.dev ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Duct tape, Rope, newspaper

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